A/N: Reposting this Chapter. If you read the first one, this one has a different ending. I got a comment that I have been "pushing" the Leah/Paul pairing right when I was writing this chapter and it psyched me out a bit. Anything with Paul and Leah has been one of my favorite FFs to read. To me they are a lot alike so it makes sense there would be a clear attraction there, but are usually treated so differently and allowed to channel their anger and aggression differently. I wanted to tackle that. In my first post of this chapter I left out them getting together, thinking I needed to slow burn it more - but then I realized after posting that I should have just stuck with my original idea.
Otherwise, this is a pretty long chapter. Lots of background on Leah once she left La Push back in 2007, her deceased husband and her self perception in general. Pretty important as the story moves along. Looks like lots of people are consistently reading this. Would love to hear your thoughts/feedback reviews. I also have lots of characters in this story so far and am interested in which ones you want to see more of.
Chapter 7:
The next few days had been an adjustment, but we seemed to settle into a routine. The kids enjoyed being with mom, and even though she was weaker than she had ever been, I sought comfort in just being near her. I relished in seeing Seth and watching him fawn over his kids, when they weren't running him ragged. His sweet touches and soft temperament reminded me so much of our dad, and also Antwan and the way he was with Akeala and Omar when they were small.
A few days after the barbecue I walked Omar over to Seth's, surprised but delighted that he wanted to spend time with his small cousins and babysit. Before I headed out for a run Seth made me some coffee. We sat on the steps to his back porch, not bothered by the dew. He seemed to have a specific interest in Akeala and her whereabouts.
"She definitely has a crush on Jared and Kim's younger son," he said, cutting to the chase.
I furrowed my eyebrows. How did he know?
He answered me, even though I didn't ask my question out loud. "I found her in the bathroom putting on makeup pretty poorly," he said, with a chuckle. "She said she wanted Leo to notice her," he took a sip, smiling and seemed to be amused by this. My eyes narrowed. Didn't sound like Akeala. But she had been spending time with him lately, and Ava Black-Micheals. I took a sip of my coffee, contemplating.
"It was quite a scene, Lee. It actually reminded me of you, when you were her age, wanting Sam to notice you." What? I wracked my brain trying to locate those memories, but most were fuzzy. It's if any feelings I had for him or of my pre-wolf time were ushered out and replaced by tightness in my neck.
I shook my head at him, rolling my eyes. "I can hardly remember back that far." He scoffed, but as he took another sip we heard some howling in the background.
"Bloodsuckers?" I asked, slightly alarmed. He raised his head and positioned his ears toward the sound, taking some deep he dropped his shoulders and shook his head. He took out his phone to send a text message.
"Will and Theo have been getting into it big time. They need to seriously can it," he said, clearly annoyed. "They're going to draw a lot of unwanted attention our way. We've been at it for months, but those pups are still acting like they've had no training." He exhaled in exasperation, "we're never retiring."
"We?" I asked. He sent his text and then stared out ahead of him, as he stretched his arms back.
"Colin and Brady are fine for now, but Embry, and Quil want to leave the pack like I do."
"Why now?" I asked. It had been so many years. Part of me thought they might stay forever. Wasn't it their whole identity?
"Among other reasons, it's finally grating on Embry that he looks more like his kid's brother than his father. At long last, Quill looks the same age as Claire, and he wants it to stay that way. And, it's just been a long run, Lee," exhaustion running through this voice, "we're hoping with new blood we can pass on the torch."
"The pack had been small before," I said. Why can't Paul, Colin and Brady just deal with Theo and Will?"
Seth lifted a broad hand up to scratch his forehead. "La Push is on the map for bloodsuckers and has been for 20 years, Lee. Leeches continue to pass through, and it's a real threat to the tribe. But the thing is, we've waited years for new boys to phase, but it hasn't happened. Now, we have Theo and Will, and once we get one more and they are all trained, the three of us will retire. We decided— three for three."
"So, just one more." I repeated. "And you think it's going to be Omar?" I gulped.
"Don't know," he said as he cocked his head. "Could be Axel, Adam or Leo."
"What about Paul?" I asked. Almost an afterthought. "Does he want to retire?"
Seth shrugged. "Colin and Brady aren't exactly Alpha material and the pups obviously can't handle it yet. He's done it so long, we owe him to take it over… but he's staying for us. So we can be with our families."
I squinted. That seemed selfless and the actions of a good leader. Not how I really thought of Paul. My teenager memories were clumped together, one almogmation of discontent wrapped in trauma and he was packaged up in that. And the adult I had spent a brief amount of time with a few days ago was a complete chauvinist who tried to proposition me. Wasn't he?
I had tried to push away thoughts of his offer, but it's hard to unhear something like that. More so, I couldn't shake the feeling. There was always some sort of tension between us, sexual or otherwise.
Seth looked at my pensive face as I scowled. "He's not an asshole all the time, Lee." He took another sip and smiled, "some of the time, but not all," I fixed my face to look blankly ahead, but before I could think any more about it I was conjured out of my thoughts by a babbling two year old.
"An Lee!" shouted a voice coming out from the back doors that Alex just popped open. Little Casey came over to give me a hug, still in her footie pajamas.
"Who's my favorite button pusher!" I said, stretching over to tickle Casey's belly. Omar walked out with Avery on his shoulders as she demanded a horsey ride. His sudden interest in children was both heartwarming and amusing.
"I'm black mailing him," whispered Seth to me with twinkling eyes. I narrowed my eyes at him but was distracted by Casey whose face was very close to my body as she seemingly inspected me.
"Boobies!" She squealed as she pressed on my sports bra. I stood up and chuckled, adjusting my running gear.
"Ok, I think that's my cue, '' I said laughing and I stood up, put my empty coffee cup down in the kitchen and headed out for a morning run.
I never ran before I phased, but something about sprinting through the forest as the fastest wolf was contagious and I stuck with it even after I stopped. It was freeing to move through the air and feel my feet pound on the ground rhythmically. Any worry I harbored seemed to melt off me as I moved forward down First beach, increasing my pace.
Running is how I met Antwan. After I moved to Chicago it was the one part of my wolfy personality I let remain. I'd take long jogs on the Lakefront trail in Chicago, breathing in Lake Michigan and basking in how different the scenery was from dreary Washington. I couldn't take my eyes off the lake, how shimmery it was and endlessly blue — until I crashed right into broad and beautiful Antwan, nearly knocking him over.
I had only been in Chicago for a few months when we met. It seemed my life before being a "she-wolf," as the rest of the pack critically referred to me, was wiped away. Who was I before I phased? What did I want? For so long my only focus was to escape and now that I had, how could I move forward? I knew I had ambition and didn't want to be under anyone's thumb.
As soon as the Volturi left and things seemed to settle down, I planned a move to New York, but the plane ticket to Chicago cost half as much, thus landing me there. Before I left La Push I'd found a group house on Craigslist and by the end of my first week I had a job at a coffee shop and was enrolled in community college classes. Still, I was surprisingly lonely. Besides Jake and Seth, I hadn't had any real friends in a long time. Jake was my chance out from under Sam's grip and he seemed to be the only one that understood my heartbreak. More than that he felt how the continuous reverberation of it around me was deteriorating my soul. But he was still my alpha and I his subordinate — not in any way an equal friendship or one where I had any real control. I could only leave because he allowed it.
And so, with no friends and forgotten social skills, I lost myself in running until I literally ran into the love of my life. Antwan was taller than me, but smaller than the protectors of La Push, and far less dominant. Paul, Jake, Sam or even Jake or Embry would have chewed me out for making a mistake like being distracted and crashing into them. Antwan was surprised and concerned. Soon I would see him on my running route almost daily. He was kind and interested in me and my ideas, and persistent. He immediately felt good. And it immediately felt like my second chance at youth. So when he asked me out, not a part of me resisted, an odd feeling for me.
After I graduated and started working he was never insecure of the fact that my career was quickly advancing. He was proud that I made great money — more than him. When I opened up about my trauma in La Push, leaving out the wolf part and vampire parts, he listened and responded like an actual adult and encouraged me to go to therapy — a life changing decision.
Days were better because of him. My life was sweeter.
One morning while we laid in bed together, holding each other tightly, I realized that he was everything I ever needed and that I loved him with everything I had. And he asked me to marry him right there.
I basked in his memory as I looked straight ahead on the beach, continuing my run. But after a long while as I moved forward, I could feel that I was no longer alone. Heavy air moved toward me as someone else came up behind me. I started to pick up my pace, actively running away. I'm not sure why exactly. Then, I heard his voice.
"Still think you're the fastest wolf?" I didn't have to turn around to know it was Paul. He was trailing behind me, goading me. I dug in deeper to move ahead of him.
"I'm not a wolf anymore, but I can still beat you, any day of the week," I said confidently. With that challenge he strided ahead of me. I could see that he must have just phased. He was barefoot and only had a pair of cargo cutoffs on.
I pounded my feet to the ground, landing right under my center of mass, slightly leaning forward. My Legs scraped my feet across the sand and I propelled forward, inching closer to Paul. He felt my presence and dug his toes in, but my legs had become wheels turning underneath my body. We were neck and neck and I continued to lift my heels up, giving me extra momentum as I fully pushed ahead of him and headed for some rocks blocking our path at the end of the beach. I ran straight into them with my hands pressed out, claiming my victory as the clear winner of our foot race.
We both panted after the sprint. I put my hands on my hips and bent forward, a smile on my face.
"Holy Shit, Leah," he said, revealing he was impressed by my performance, still catching his breath. "You can still do that without phasing?"
"Stamina and conditioning," I said bluntly, grabbing some water strapped around my waist. I tossed it over to him as he sat on a piece of driftwood. Sweat dripped over his whole body, glistening on his exposed abs that neatly folded on his torso as he sat. He saw me looking as he drank and smiled back at me.
"The last part of my wolf that I let remain."
He took a swig of water. "I don't know about that," he said.
I rolled my eyes as the smile wiped away from my face.
"All that anger," he said, almost as a joke in a slight breath.
I folded my arms, my eyes narrowing at him. It wasn't funny to me anymore and I ironically became incensed at his words, but I wasn't ashamed of it.
"And so what?" I said tersely, still catching my breath. His eyes widened at me. I had caught him off guard, now admitting my anger after always denying it. "You're angry. Everyone adoringly calls you a hothead and has since I first met you. But ever since I've come back here all I've heard is what a great leader you are, that you run a tight ship and keep everyone safe. But me? I'm only seen as angry; I was only seen as angry. Why do you think that is?"
His gaze was on my eyes the whole time. He pursed his lips and then said, "Leah, that was a long time ago... people don't see you as just that anymore...we were definitely a bunch of dickheads back then."
"Oh, really?" I said cynically, "first time you ever admitted that. Is it because I kicked your ass just now? Back then, there was no place in the pack for me when I showed similar behaviors as you. When I was tough and hard. And it's the same bullshit, Paul. Embry and Quil didn't even fucking say hello to me at Seth's barbecue because they think I'm a bitch, but you get all the respect in the world."
He took a deep breath. He wasn't goading me anymore, but still had no answers for me. No retort. Was he hearing me? His face was soft as he switched course. "You know when you left, I thought you'd end up with Jake, despite his imprint."
I took a deep breath and sat next to him. "I'm no one's beta," I said, more calmly but still aggrieved. "I'm an alpha." He looked at me wide eyed, but I was confident enough to claim it. "Antwan was my beta. Not in a wolf sense, a partner sense. But he was the best beta: dependable, responsible, supportive, never insecure." He nodded as I was talking in a language that he recognized. "It would never work with Jake or any of you douchebags who always need to be in the driver's seat."
"Even Sam?," he asked.
"Especially Sam," I replied. "He can't deal with an assertive woman, never could. Tried to make me feel ashamed of it. But, fuck that Paul. I am not ashamed to be confident, to kick your ass in a foot race or tell you I could have been just as good a leader, if they let me."
He took another deep breath as the rain picked up. "Come on," he said softly, " I'll give you a ride back to your mom's house."
As we drove in the cab of his truck, bumping up a dirt road, we let some silence set it. He streamed "Your Just Too Good to be True," by Frankie Valli.
"You like this music?" I finally cut in, confused.
"Surprised?" He said smiling.
"Yes," I said firmly. "I thought you were an exclusive rap listener." He chuckled. "My dad used to listen to oldies. Makes me think of good times." He took a breath.
"Leah, I'm really sorry about Antwan. I know it was years ago at this point, but I'm sorry you had to go through that. And I'm sorry I never reached out."
I looked out the window. A little bit more silence.
"I always cared about you Leah." I flicked my eyes over to him. He was looking at me, both hands on the wheel. "We all did, and I… I didn't really understand back then all the layers of…pain you were experiencing. "
He pulled over on the side of the road. I looked over at him surprised, feeling definite thickness in the air. "But, I was… always attracted to you."
"Paul…" I said, cautious of his advances from the other night. "If this is about what you said to me behind the garage…"
"Fuck that, Leah. You're right. That was me trying to take control, because I don't know what to fucking do with you. You're the only person who ever challenges my bullshit. It's sexy as hell. And you're right, you did intimidate me twenty years ago, and it scared the shit out of me. But I'm not scared now."
He looked at me right in the eye, his angular face awash in epiphany.
"Paul, like I said, it would never work out between us. We're two alpha types — and you're an actual alpha tied to La Push."
He leaned a little closer to me, his voice getting deeper, sexier. "I'm not asking you to sign on the dotted line, Leah. But this tension has been between us for 20 years." I exhaled. "Don't we owe it to ourselves to explore it?" He took his hand off the steering wheel and touched my knee. It felt warm and tingly and I didn't shove it off. If I was honest, I did feel that tension. What was that? I had just spent the last 45 minutes explaining how he has completely miscategorized me. Was it possible I did the same for him? He slowly moved his hand up my leg as he took his other hand and placed it on my cheek, moving my head towards his. It slowly pulled toward his lips like a fish being reeled in. Had I taken the bait? At that moment I didn't seem to care.
The air was so thick in that cab, my heart was racing and I knew he could hear it. He pressed against me softly, moving his lips gently. And slowly, every so slowly, I moved mine back on his, lightly sucking his bottom lip. He moved his hand down my neck and to my shoulder, pulling me closer to him, and a calmness washed over me. His other hand inched slightly further up my leg. What was I doing? It felt soft and sexy and I slowly felt a dampening between my legs. He inhaled deeply, acknowledging he felt my arousal, but didn't say anything.
My mouth deliberately opened and his tongue touched mine very gingerly. There was no alpha fight for dominance, but just gentle caresses. He kissed me more deeply, his hand sensually stroking my exposed thigh, until he was interrupted by an incessant and piercingly loud howling.
"Again?" he crooned, clearly irritated. He pulled away from my mouth and drew his hand back to the steering wheel, turning his truck back on. "I gotta take you home, Leah."
I didn't ask where he was going, or even question what just happened between us. He looked over to me as we moved forward down the road again. "Go out with me," he said flatly as we drove on.
"What?" I said, completely befuddled.
"One date. Go out on one date with me. No more propositions or anything like that. Just a regular date.
"Paul, I'm not 20 anymore,"
"I know," he said, looking ahead, seeming to like that fact.
"I have my kids… and I told you, it will just get messy between us…"
"One date, Leah," he said as we pulled up to my mother's house. "Don't tell me that that kiss didn't feel good to you. No more games. I told you I'm not scared anymore. And you shouldn't be either."
What twilight zone had I entered? Paul Lahote admitted he was scared of me and was now asking me out on a date, and I was considering it? I looked back at him, his eyes glistening pooling awaiting my answer. I was scared. I did feel a loss of control.
"Okay. One date. But you better keep this shit in your alpha lock box too. Understand?"
A huge smile popped on his face. "Got it," he said, hardly believing my words. "Meet me at First Beach at 7." I looked him in the eye, got out of his truck and took a huge breath.
A/N: Ok, so this is where I landed after some additional edits. Should we go back to Akeala and see what she has been up to? Any other characters you want POV from? Please review!
