CH 9
Ava Black-Michaels POV
There is a curse in being the cool girl. The effortless and unfathomable hot girl that espouses confidence, and easily chills with all the guys. The girl that loves cars, beer and football, laughs at all the perverse sexual jokes and looks like a Victoria's Secret model while doing it. The girl that all the guys want, because she has seemingly been crafted out of their imagination. This perfect woman is careened upon impressionable girls in movies, TV and social media. By 13, I knew that if I wanted to be wanted, I had to be the cool girl. But at some point I totally lost myself.
Will and Theo both wanted the cool girl. Will and I had been hooking up for months and if you asked him about my interests he would have said video games, sex and football, which are his interests. He and Theo both treat girls like library books to be checked out, used and returned when you're finished. The dude always has total control.
And so when I decided to be done with them both, I chose to give a little fuck you send off to them, knowing the chavinists would go apeshit if they thought they were competing for me. What I didn't count on was how enraged I would be at their barbaric display.
Unlike Leah's kids, my parents never kept us in the dark about shape shifting. It wasn't shocking or scary and most of the boys accepted their fate, waited for it. Paul had Alpha ordered the pack not to say anything to Akeala or Omar, and everybody else always just follows suit. On that day in the rain, I came over to Will's house to return the rest of his crap. Days earlier he had found out about Theo and I through their wolf telepathy bullshit and they had been knocking the shit out of each other ever since. I was so over it at that point and just wanted to give Will the last of his stuff and be done with it. Of course he had to make a big display and hash everything out all over again. It got worse when Theo showed up, unannounced.
"Mother fucker," Will screamed in the rain at Theo as he pulled up to Will's front lawn. I rolled my eyes as Will shouted at his brother to take Akeala Jackson away. When he did that I knew he was planning on phasing. As Leo pulled Akeala away I ushered both Theo and Will to the backyard to be out of sight, but before I could say anything they both busted out their clothes and attacked each other as wolves.
Will leapt onto Theo, trying to bite his neck but Theo briskly knocked his off and into a tree. This was the third or fourth time I'd witnessed them go at in the last few days and it seemed endless. "This is such bullshit," I screamed to get their attention, but was ignored. They continued to fight as wolves as the rain poured down harder, gnashing their teeth and bearing down before leaping at one another again and again. "I'm not some prize to be won," I yelled as Will rolled off of Theo, feeling exasperated. "I don't care how many times you assholes kick the shit out of each other. I'm leaving and completely done with this shit." I spun on my heels to leave, but before I could make my way out Theo phased back to human form, naked and graveling.
"Ava, don't go," he said glistening from sweat, "tell this asshole you love me."
I sighed and looked back at Theo intentionally. "I don't, Theo. I don't love either of you, and you don't love me. You love some fucking idea of me, but it's not me, you both know nothing about me. "
Will phased back, this time his eyes black and narrowed, clearly beat up and all his anger directed toward me.
"Cut the femenist psychobabble bullshit, Ava," he cut in over the rain, attempting to order at me as he stood soaking and naked. "I know you so fucking well," his voice got lower and more intentional, "and exactly how to make you get on your knees." I winced at his crudness. "You're just like every other crazy bitch who thinks she's too fucking good. And let me tell you, you are a fucking prize to be won, but not one I fucking want anymore. Because at the end of the day you're just a stupid bitch and a total fucking slut."
His words cut through my like a knife. Psycho. Prize. Bitch. Slut. I felt rage pour through my arms and a shaking in my legs. This is how he really thought of me. All that time, and I always knew it. Forcing me to be the fucking cool girl. The arm candy. The submissive assessory. The afterthought. And I was done being complacent about it.
Every muscle in my body tightened and I ran toward him at full speed. I knew I wouldn't be able to knock him over, but at least he would see my raw unadulterated emotions and know I would never submit to his bullshit. I plowed down, piling toward him. I could feel my body cracking and ripping in rage, wanting to dismember him. I never broke eye contact and watched his face go from anger to pure horror as I got closer and leapt with a maddening anger toward him. Jarringly, I landed on four paws, with him under me completely stupefied. I opened my mouth but only growled loudly at him, bearing my teeth and not letting him back away.
Theo immediately phased, but I only knew because I saw him in my head. "Oh, shit Ava!" I heard him bounce around my head.
"Oh fuck! I thought. Theo! Oh fuck! Am I? Am I a fucking wolf?!
Uh, yeah, babe. That's a definet yes, he thought.
Don't call me babe. I thought, firmly.
Okay, Ava, whatever you want, babe. He said not hearing me, Listen, you got to step away from Will, okay? I want to kick the shit out of him too for that crap he just said, but he's still human right now.
Will was still under me and I was still growling loudly at him, my lips stretched back as I leaned forward on my front paws. I moved away from him and he backed away slowly. Then Theo howled loudly. Different from his growls and howls earlier. More like a single.
What was that? I asked him.
Uh, just letting the rest of the pack know that we have a new wolf. Seth and Paul will phase in or be here soon. Seth is pretty good at the orientation stuff, he thought.
What is there a fucking guidbook I thought to myself and immediately heard him chuckle, realizing he had access to my entire brain. Will had gotten up and was about twenty feet away from me now, still in his human form. He was naked and staring at me, now enceneced.
All of a sudden a new presence popped in. Who is it? Thought a calm, but direct voice. I recognized it as Seth Clearwater. I could see him running through the woods in the rain, headed over to Will's house. I also noticed for the first time that I could see what I looked like as a wolf, through Theo's eyes. I was white with amber eyes and reddish flecks around my ears and neck, I shook out my fur.
It's Ava, I thought, answering him.
Oh, shit. Hi Ava. Wow, it's been a while since we had a she-wolf, Seth thought with shock ringing in my head.
A fucking she-wolf? Isn't that a wonderful welcome. I'm sure none of them refer to themselves as he-wolves. I thought, again forgetting that they could hear my personal thoughts, regardless if they were directed to them.
Well, isn't this going to be a picnic? It was Will. He had phased and was replaying his words to me from earlier in his mind. I started to growl at him again. Then he sneered at me and started thinking of me in all sorts of sexual situations, some of them real that we experienced together, most of them crude prono fantasies. I winced, as much as a wolf can.
Will, phase out now. You too Theo, ordered Seth in his beta voice, and they both did as directed. Seth was still in his way, nearly at our location.
Sorry about that Ava, he said. I won't call you that again.
At that moment a truck pulled up and at the end of the driveway and Paul, the alpha got out, the rain now back to a light drizzle. He was with Leo and directed him into the house as Paul approached a naked and irritated Will.
"Who is that?" Paul asked, gesturing at me. Will's whole body was tight, his hands on his hips. He stared at the ground not saying anything.
Paul intoned again, "Will, who is he?"
"She," he said, still not making eye contact. "That's Ava."
Paul's eyes widened and he stood still. After about a minute he got out his phone. Will finally turned to him.
"What are you doing?" asked Will.
"Getting Leah."
A/N: Big chapter! What do you guys think?
