March 30, 2006

Yokohama:

10 years ago

Fear lodged into his throat when he saw the book lying amongst his school textbooks.

The book that he had borrowed from his classmate. The book his classmate, his new friend, had entrusted him with.

And he had betrayed that trust. He stole the book!

Atsushi bit back a whimper. He didn't know what to do. He wanted to touch it, throw it away, or even hide it from sight. He wanted to run to the cops…no, the teacher! Yes, he needed to find an adult to help him. His poor new friend was probably worried about his book!

But…if he went to the teacher, she might call the police. After all, wasn't this stealing? Even if it was accidental, he might be in big trouble because stealing was wrong!

Atsushi hugged his knees to his chest, trembling.

What would Dazai say if he found out that Atsushi had stolen? He was a detective and obviously helped to catch criminals! He would uncover Atsushi's sin in no time.

Dazai. He needed…he needed to tell Dazai at some point…before the police arrested him.

The shame and fear building up within Atsushi had continued to grow for hours until he could no longer contain it. He had always been taught that honesty was the best policy. In fact, Dazai had drilled that policy into him. He could not imagine how hurt Dazai would look if the police came to drag him away in handcuffs.

Somehow, he had made his way down where he could peek into the kitchen. Atsushi hung back, feeling the immense sorrow crush his ribs. He watched as Dazai finished putting the plates away. Papers were stacked up on the table, probably work the Agency gave Dazai. He usually saw Dazai reading the manuscripts even after Atsushi had gone to bed.

Soon, one of those reports might be about Atsushi's arrest.

Tears brimmed at the edge of Atsushi's eyes as he gripped the edge of the wall. "Dazai…" Though his voice was a trembling whisper, it caught the attention of his elder. Confused, brown eyes focused on Atsushi, zeroing in on the tears falling down Atsushi's face.

Well, there was no going back now.

Atsushi gulped. "Am I going to jail?"

This was it. He was no longer a sweet, precious, innocent child. No, he was now a criminal.

The thought caused him to shed more tears as he stood at the threshold of the kitchen.

Instead of displaying outright anger at housing a criminal, Dazai merely looked confused. He set the cups down in the sink. "What?"

"I did a bad thing." Atsushi's lip trembled. "I stole someone's book." To Dazai's horror, more tears began to fall down Atsushi's face. "Will…you still visit m-me?"

Dazai abandoned the kitchen sink and was kneeling before Atsushi. "Hey, it's okay," he said softly. "Do you hear any sirens?" Atsushi strained to listen and shook his head. "See? No one is coming to arrest you." He smiled. "Now, take a deep breath and tell me what happened. Whose book did you steal?"

Atsushi hiccuped. "A…a classmate let me b-borrow it."

Dazai beamed. "See? You borrowed it! You can always return it later."

"But it's Friday!" Atsushi squeaked. "He'll go without it for two days!"

"It'll be fine." Dazai patted his head. "Nothing bad will happen. You're a good kid. If you explain your mistake, your classmate will understand."

Atsushi hesitated. In his uncertainty, he reached to hold onto the folds of Dazai's shirt. "Okay," he reluctantly agreed.

Dazai searched Atsushi's gaze before sighing. "Here, I think I might need some help." Picking up Atsushi, he grunted as he carried him back to the kitchen.

Atsushi clung to Dazai, feeling some of the guilt easing out of his heart. "Kunnikida said you shouldn't carry me," he muttered.

Dazai let out a soft laugh. "And why not?"

"Because you're small."

Dazai blinked. "Did he really say that?"

Atsushi nodded. "You need to eat more."

Dazai was quiet before he huffed, smiling. "Well, you're tiny too, so I think it's okay." He set Atsushi on the counter near the sink. "I want to show you something." With his one hand on Atsushi's knee to stabilize him, Dazai gestured with his free one. In the sink were two potted plants.

Atsushi gasped. "Flowers!"

"Not quite," Dazai corrected. "They're succulents."

"Suck-u-lance," Atsushi tried. He beamed. "Okay!" He peered into the sink. "Why are they in a bowl of water?"

"Fukuzawa gave them to me because he kept killing them." He smirked. "He seems to forget that while succulents don't need as much water like other plants, they still need to drink."

"They're thirsty," Atsushi nodded solemnly. He looked at Dazai. "Can you save them?"

"I'm trying," Dazai confessed. "It didn't look too good at first." He ran his fingers in the dirt, uprooting the soil. "But I have a feeling that they'll pull through."

Atsushi was fixated on the flowers, the weird flowers that didn't need as much water. So enamored with his observations, he didn't notice how the corner of Dazai's eyes softened, the worry and apprehension fading away. "Can I help?"

The wet soil and Dazai's careful instructions was enough to distract Atsushi's little mind from his criminal experience. However, after he had washed his hands and scampered back up to his room, the guilt came crashing down once more when he laid his eyes on the book.

He hesitantly approached it, like a child would approach a new toy, and carefully picked up the book. As he opened the cover, his eyes fell on the front page.

This book belongs to:

Akutagawa

The name was written in such nice, detailed handwriting. His classmate had even stayed above the line!

He had always thought that Akutagawa was a quiet kid, but a really smart one! Atsushi had yearned to reach out to his classmate for weeks but had been unsure how to approach him. But when that opportunity was handed to him in the form of trust, Atsushi just had to go and ruin it!

Well, now he had the opportunity to fix it.

Atsushi's amazement was further coupled when he saw the address, written with different handwriting and a little more legible.

Learning his address had been one of the first things Dazai had taught him, along with Kunnikida's and the Agency's. Atsushi was confident in his ability to identify street names and make his way home if he got lost in the area.

So it was with a bright smile that he recognized the address in the book. That was right next door! Just to make sure, he peeked outside his window. Through the trees and down the hill was the small tattoo shop. Perhaps the owner of the book lived like he and Dazai did, upstairs above a shop. Although Dazai didn't use the extra space for the shop, it still held all of the assets.

Grabbing his bag and shoes, Atsushi scrambled down the stairs and out the door with a hurried goodbye to Dazai. Heart pounding, he rushed to the building, hoping he wasn't too late to right his crime.

Maybe Dazai wouldn't have to visit him in jail after all!

He was about to knock on the door when he stopped, noticing his classmate in the backyard. The familiar black hair gave him pause, but he would recognize that odd haircut anywhere. Smiling, Atsushi ran into the back, a call of greeting on his lips. He stopped when he saw his classmate disappear into the back of the building.

He paused. Should he enter? Would it be rude to enter someone's backyard and therefore their home without an invitation? He would only be there for a few minutes just to return the book. With that confident thought in mind, he strode in.

His eyes adjusted to the dim lighting. Shelves and desks holding various contraptions were neatly placed along the walls, and Atsushi stopped to openly gawk. So this is where people went to get paint on their bodies! The type of paint that didn't scrub off!

"So not only do we have stealing, but we have breaking and entering?"

The familiar, snide voice caused Atsushi to whirl around. He stared at his classmate, Akutagawa.

Atsushi smiled, despite the nervous beating of his heart. He held out the book. "I…I've come to return your book."

Akutagawa raised an eyebrow. "Oh? A thief righting a wrong? How amusing. Returning to the scene of a crime is a terrible idea. You're failing as a criminal."

Atsushi trembled. Dazai was wrong and all of his fears were coming true. Akutagawa was really mad about the theft! He just hoped Dazai would visit him in jail. Maybe he would slip him a pie like he had seen in the movies, the pies with the special filling.

"You going to cry?" Akutagawa continued, sounding aghast. "Thieves don't cry!"

"I'm not a thief!" Atsushi squeaked. "I'm here to return your book."

Akutagawa stared at him. Dark eyes flickered from Atsushi to the book in his hand. Atsushi stayed still, his arm trembling both from the exertion of keeping the book up and the nerves clashing within him.

Surprisingly, Akutagawa took the book. "Thank you." He glanced at the book before staring back at Atsushi. "You didn't have to come all this way here though. You could have returned it on Monday."

Some of the tension left Atsushi's small frame. "It's okay! I live right next door."

Akutagawa's eyebrow raised. "Really? In the shabby little cottage?"

Atsushi shrugged. "Well, it's not that shabby. Dazai is working on planting some-"

"Dazai?" Akutagawa's voice was suddenly dark.

"Yeah, he's my guardian." Despite the pride he felt swelling in his chest about making such a declaration, Akutagawa's tone had him suddenly feeling wary.

"You need to leave."

Atsushi stuttered. "W-what?"

"Get out." Akutagawa's tone and stance was dark. "Now."

Atsushi stumbled backward, clutching his back close to his chest. "I-okay…I'll be…seeing you at school-?" Anything else he wanted to say was cut off when Akutagawa slammed the door shut on him.

Atsushi stared at the door, blinking. A tightness in his chest made his eyes burn as he clutched his backpack closer to his chest. The sound of a motorcycle engine drew his attention to the front, spurring him to run back home. He didn't even stop to glance at the new arrival on the motorcycle pulling up to Akutagawa's house.

He had done it. He had returned the book. So why did he still feel so nervous? Was it possible for Akutagawa to still call the police? What would happen then?

These thoughts followed him all throughout the night. He pushed his food around his dinner plate, wordlessly went upstairs for his shower, and silently sat beneath the water from the shower-head while Dazai scrubbed his hair.

Dazai massaged Atsushi's scalp, the soap long becoming soft soap suds. "What's wrong, Atsushi?"

Atsushi blinked. He thought he had been doing a great job at hiding his worry! "N-nothing!"

He could hear Dazai sigh, but it was the soft sigh, one that was often accompanied with an amused smile. "Are you still worried about the book?"

"Um…yeah?" His shoulder slumped. Some of the soap fell into his shoulders. "I think I made someone mad."

"Did you?" Surprise colored Dazai's tone. "Well, that's unfortunate. Was this person your friend?"

"No. I don't think he wants to be friends. He seemed really mad at me."

"Hm, well that's okay," Dazai said. "Whatever the issue was, I'm sure you will resolve it. You always do." Dazai grabbed the nozzle of the shower, and with a firm order "close your eyes," he rinsed Atsushi off.

With a towel draped around his small frame, Atsushi wandered around the bathroom and glanced back at where Dazai was still kneeling at the shower, gathering the washcloth and rubber duckies. A small sliver of hope warmed Atsushi's chest. "You don't work tonight?"

Dazai looked back to give him a smile. His hair was slightly damp and had lost some of its volume. His hands still contained remnants of soap suds, and the sleeves of his white shirt were wet despite being rolled up. He looked tired despite his light expression.

Atsushi didn't like it when he was tired. Tired Dazai meant he had a tendency to do really bad things that hurt himself to stay awake.

At least there were no dark circles under his eyes.

Just to make sure, Atsushi padded over and peered up at Dazai with an inquisitive frown. No, there were some dark circles, but they weren't as deep as before when they first began to live here.

Dazai discarded the washcloth on the small basket and scooped Atsushi up. "Just for a little bit," he grinned. "Kunnikida misses me!"

"No he doesn't," Atsushi quipped. "You make him frustrated."

"Nah, that's just how he shows he loves me! Yosano will come by to make sure you're not alone."

Atsushi squirmed. He liked Yosano. She had helped Dazai when he was hurt. She helped him too when he was hurt. But everyone else seemed afraid of her.

"Okay," he said softly, feeling his heart cool down. Working late meant Dazai wouldn't sleep, and Dazai not sleeping meant Dazai could get sick.

These thoughts followed Atsushi as he stood in his bedroom getting dressed in his soft blue pajamas; his favorite ones with the white clouds. His cheeks puffed up in annoyance. How dare he get so worried about Akutagawa when he had other things to worry about, like Dazai!

A small chuckle drew his attention. Dazai was staring at him with amusement, holding different blankets and a small teddy bear. "You look like a chipmunk," Dazai laughed. "You sure you're not angry?"

Atsushi felt his cheeks expand again with a puff of air. "You're more important!" he exclaimed.

Dazai blinked, confused. "Uh…thanks?"

"I'm not thinking about that idiot anymore!" Atsushi declared, stomping over to his bed. "I said sorry to him, and that's that!"

"...good for you?" Dazai approached him with a curious frown, though a smile tugged on the corner of his lips. "So," he said, kneeling at the edge of the bed and tucking the blankets in. "Be good for Yosano, and have pleasant dreams."

"When I get big," Atsushi started, "I'll wait up for you. I promise."

Dazai smiled. "Don't worry about it. When you get big, you'll need more sleep than me." He ran his fingers through Atsushi's hair. "Good night little one."

"N'ight." Atsushi watched as the door to his bedroom closed. He strained his ears to listen as Dazai's footsteps faded away. It was several moments before he heard the front door open.

And that was that. The house was quiet. Nothing moved, not even Atsushi.

Except for the shadow outside his window.

Atsushi jolted upward, fear lodging in his throat. He choked on his scream as the figure slipped into the room. In mere seconds, the figure had their hand on Atsushi's mouth.

Tears burned at the corner of Atsushi's eyes. It was the bad guys! The bad guys he had overheard Kunnikida talk about! He was going to die and leave Dazai all alone and sad! Dazai would hurt himself and not even Yosano could help him!

"Tch, don't cry. It's just me."

Atsushi blinked. "A-Akutagawa?"

The small boy pulled back, making himself comfortable on the bed. "Yes." Like Atsushi, he appeared to be wearing pajamas; red flannel ones. Unlike Atsushi, he was wearing a coat.

At least he had the decency to drop his boots at the window.

So engrossed in his fright, Atsushi was not aware of the footsteps coming up the stairs.

Akutagawa leapt forward, tackling Atsushi to the bed. His hand was once more covering Atsushi's mouth, muffing his squeak. Somehow, Akutagawa managed to drap the blanket over them just before the door to his bedroom opened.

It was Yosano. Atsushi knew it. She always came to check on him whenever she was tasked with watching him. Apparently satisfied with his sleeping figure, she closed the door again.

They waited for a few tense moments before Akutagawa released him.

"What are you doing here?" Atsushi whispered.

"A little lower. That's not exactly whispering."

Atsushi just gawked.

Akutagawa seemed to make himself at home in the bed. "I came…to apologize for my harsh treatment. Thank you for returning the book, but if my guardian had found you, he would have killed you."

There was…so much for Atsushi's little brain to unpack there. "K-kill me?" he squeaked.

"Well, maybe not you," Akutagawa confessed. "He's nice to kids. But he definitely would have killed your guardian."

"He would kill Dazai?" Atsushi missed Akutagawa's subtle flinch at the mention of Dazai's name.

"Yes," Akutagawa softly admitted. "So I was protecting you both."

"Oh." Atsushi blinked, hugging the blanket close. "Thank you." He straightened up, a thought occurring. "Is your guardian a criminal?" Atsushi whispered conspiratorially. Dazai helped to catch bad guys! Would he have to catch Akutagawa's guardian?

Akutagawa's frown suddenly deepened. "Goodnight," he said, going back from the window.

"W-wait!" Atsushi exclaimed. "You're going through the window?"

"Well I'm not using the stairs. Your babysitter is downstairs." Akutagawa scoffed and Atsushi immediately felt like he had just committed a foolish act.

"I'll see you at school," Akutagawa continued. He glared at Atsushi. "Don't ignore me."

As Atsushi watched Akutagawa climb out the window, he could only stare in awe, a smile blooming across his face. Akutagawa was so cool!

xXx

July 10, 2016

Yokohama

Akutagawa had read and re-read the same lines of poetry for the past five minutes before considering himself a lost cost. His eyes began to burn despite the warm light above the kitchen table. The tea beside his elbow had grown lukewarm, and he was debating with himself whether or not to poor himself a new cup.

A text from Atsushi drew his attention from his mediocre book. Glancing at the message, a faint smile spread across his face.

JINKO: so far so good! He hasn't noticed :p

"Idiot," Akutagawa muttered. With a quick, one letter reply, he returned to his book.

The sound of a motorcycle engine drew his attention. His eyes flickered to the door, waiting expectantly. Before long he could hear the heavy footsteps of the new arrival, the door opening without resistance; Akutagawa had left it unlocked for this precise reason.

Chuuya dropped his bag at the door by the shelf of shoes. He glanced up with a smile. "Hey kid." He slipped his shoes off, placed his hat on the hat rack, and stuffed his gloves in his pocket. "You're up late."

Akutagawa shrugged. "Someone had to make sure the house didn't burn down."

Chuuya grinned, the tired corners of his eyes lifting. "And why would the house burn down?"

"Because the stove is on."

Chuuya walked towards the table, his padded socks lightly gliding across the floor, a stark contrast to the sounds his heavy boots made whenever he walked. "And why's the stove on?"

Akutagawa felt the corner of his lips twitch, but he concealed his amusement. "To keep the food warm."

"Nice!" Chuuya exclaimed, voice fading slightly in the kitchen. "What are we having?"

"Red curry," Akutagawa replied.

"Perfect." Silence hung in the air for a bit, broken only by the sound of the stove turning off and the pot moving to the counter. Before long, Chuuya emerged from the kitchen with a steaming bowl in his hands before sitting across from Akutagawa.

The comfortable silence descended on them like a warm blanket. Akutagawa shifted slightly in his seat, keeping his gaze on his homework. He knew better than to ask Chuuya how his day went. Most nights, he would wake to a still empty house, with Chuuya never coming home that night.

But this month seemed different. They were able to have normal dinner conversations now, and Akutagawa could rest easy without worrying about receiving a call from Kouyou in the middle of the night.

Although, tonight, Akutagawa was slightly on edge because his thoughts kept drifting back to the afternoon with Atsushi. He tried to remind himself that Chuuya had nothing to be suspicious of. He had cleaned all the equipment and made sure there was nothing left unchecked that would give his deceit away. Inviting to perform art on Atsushi had been a bold move on Akutagawa's part. The precautions that could happen should they be found out would be detrimental.

Inwardly, Akutagawa just knew it would be Atsushi who would accidentally reveal their relationship first. He just knew it.

They had hidden their friendship from Dazai and Chuuya for years. But as always, Akutagawa felt like the road was always coming to an end, only for Atsushi to pull him down a different path and buy them some more time.

Still, Chuuya could read him, usually when Akutagawa said nothing. It's why Akutagawa never got away with anything when he was a kid.

He steeled himself when he heard Chuuya place his spoon down.

"How was your day?" It was a deceptively easy question, one that could lead to an answer that would reveal too much.

Akutagawa resisted the urge to look up. "It was good." Not an unusual response. He was usually cryptic.

Chuuya humed. "So school was good?"

"School was normal."

The chair creaked as Chuuya leaned back and Akutagawa cursed himself for failing to look up. Now he looked suspicious, like he was guilty and avoiding Chuuya's gaze. But looking up now would show that he was trying to cover something up.

"I'll be home tomorrow to keep the shop open," Chuuya started. Akutagawa's eyes flickered up. Chuuya was leaning back with his arms crossed, gazing upward as if he was thoughtfully contemplating.

Akutagawa bit the inside of his cheek to conceal the grimace. Chuuya was running through the day's events to see what made Akutagawa tick. First it was school, now it was the shop. Did he think that something had happened in the shop? Of course something had happened. Atsushi got a tattoo because of him! "Oh?" His voice was low. Too low.

Chuuya's eyes glinted, like he just found a piece to an incomplete puzzle.

Dammit.

Still, Akutagawa steeled his nerves. "That's nice."

Chuuya grinned. "So I'll be here when you get home. We do have a waitlist."

He needed to divert this conversation. Now. While he was not Atsushi and could conceal his motives better than the idiot, Chuuya was on a whole different level.

Akutagawa closed his textbook. "Speaking of the shop, I was thinking," here, he looked beneath his lashes, "if I could-"

"No."

Akutagawa blinked. "But I-"

"No," Chuuya repeated. "I told you, you can be the artist, but you can't wear the art. Your skin is too fragile."

Akutagawa sighed, but on the inside, he was relieved. So Chuuya was successfully diverted. "No, I know that." He fiddled with the spine of his book, the perfect picture of innocence. "I was thinking about showing you my designs."

Chuuya blinked, startlement reflected in his blue eyes. "Oh. Yes, I would love to."

Akutagawa remained still while Chuuya looked at the small notebook. His expression was unreadable, eyes shifting over the pages. Finally, he straightened up. "You drew this?"

Akutagawa shrugged.

"It's nice." Chuuya looked at him, smiling. "Is this design based off of that book you read? The one with the thief?"

"Rashomoun," Akutagawa answered.

"I can see the inspiration," Chuuya chuckled. "Like a soft demon." He closed the notebook and carefully slid it back to Akutagawa. "I'd love to see that design on someone."

Akutagawa ignored the sudden pain in his heart when he accepted the notebook back. "Yeah," he said, voice soft. "Me too."

xXx

March 30, 2006

Yokohama:

10 years ago

Akutagawa was usually very meticulous when it came to his schedule. Normally, bathtime took less than fifteen minutes. Chuuya learned to close the door for privacy, but he kept it cracked so that he could hear if anything went wrong. The use of bath bombs had helped Akutagawa to feel less exposed since Chuuya did not like the idea of leaving a child alone in a bathtub for too long.

But still, this was taking a while, and prompted Chuuya to peek his head into the comfortably sized bathroom.

The sight Chuuya entered into was Akutagawa sitting in the bathtub, nose barely above the water, as the suds from the bathbomb colored the water.

Chuuya tilted his head. "What's up kiddo?"

Akutagawa blew quick bubbles, eyes narrowed in a disgruntled manner. His entire body, save for his head, was hidden in the colorful water. "An idiot ruined my mood."

Chuuya sighed. "Oh dear. Is that so? The world is just full of them." He placed the towel on the rack before sitting on the bathmat. "Did you and your friend get into a fight?"

"What makes you think he's my friend?"

Chuuya blinked. "Well, you seem upset. I figured that someone who's worth consuming your thoughts and emotions must be your friend."

Akutagawa blew another bubble, still looking disgruntled. "Does he even deserve such a title?"

Chuuya smiled at the childish display. "C'mon, let's rinse your hair. Your hands are turning pruny."

Akutagawa shot up in alarm before grabbing the cup from Chuuya's outstretched hand. Chuuya stood up, knowing full well that the boy liked his privacy.

As the door closed behind him, his heart was noticeably lighter. Akutagawa had been noticeably moody ever since he came home from school. When Chuuya checked his bag, he saw that there was a book missing. Although, a missing book was not enough to throw Akutagawa's mood.

Maybe this friend had something to do with it. The thought made Chuuya smile. A friend. Maybe things were finally looking up for Akutagawa.

He almost ignored the buzzing of his phone.

It was a text from Kouyou. Just a warning, a report really, about a mission she covered for him. A mere second later, a text about how the 'little one' was doing entered his feed.

Despite the innocent nature, it dampened Chuuya's mood.

His heart sank. He turned his phone off, leaning against the wall with a sigh. Closing his eyes would not make the problem vanish. He could put Akutagawa to bed, prepare for tomorrow, and try to rest, but the Mafia would still exist, waiting for him.

Eventually, he would have to get back in the field before Mori began to get any ideas about unwanted 'distractions' consuming his time.