I know it's been a while. As compensation, here's an extra-long chapter!

This chapter has some sad stuff, so keep tissues nearby.

Also, a shoutout to Josette who's been following this story since the very beginning. Thanks for sticking with me, everyone. Lots of love! Now enjoy the new chapter.

Chapter 6: Tales of the Past

The last time Derek saw his sister was the morning of the fire. Cora insisted on staying home since she was feeling sick. She was supposed to be with their emissary for her scheduled lessons. She had always been reluctant about learning about the supernatural culture but after some stern words from her mother, she had to accept.

Even after being a born werewolf, her control wasn't that great. She was often found on the verge of shifting during kindergarten. Talia had to finally decide on homeschooling the little Hale to keep the other kids around her safe and to keep their secret. Derek and Laura both believed her to be dead after the fire. They had no idea how or when she had escaped. And now Derek couldn't find the words to say to his sister. A sister he was seeing after years.

Derek stood outside of his loft door tentatively. He could hear several heartbeats coming from inside. His betas, his uncle and his sister. He could feel the pack bond thrumming positively after the betas were rescued. But one bond was still flickering with uncertainty. Hales were nothing if not stubborn. And his little sister inherited that quality with an air of confidence even when she was a little kid. Derek didn't know how much these last years had changed her. But he had to face the inevitable. He took a deep breath and pushed open the loft door.

Several heads turned his way as soon as the door was pushed open. He could see his rescued betas standing in the middle of the room with a sheepish expression on their faces. Isaac stood on one side, his face unreadable. His sister was on the other side with a blank face. His uncle was lounging on the far end of the room in the couch. His head was thrown back with his arms splayed on top of the couch. Derek could tell from Peter's heartbeat that the older wolf wasn't asleep.

"How's Stiles?" Boyd asked as soon as Derek walked inside the loft. His beta was reeking of guilt.

Derek always appreciated Boyd's silent but observant personality. He wanted to make the kid feel less lonely, make him feel like part of a pack; a family. He thought he could find some semblance of his family and pack bond he felt when he was a kid if he could just have a pack of his own. He wanted to make all of his betas feel like that, even Scott! He thought he could finally rebuild the Hale pack with a band of misfits.

But surely he was wrong since two of his betas decided to run off and Isaac felt like he could trust Scott more than Derek. Jackson was the only one who was truly dedicated to being part of a pack. The newest beta was hell-bent on proving his worth just like with everything else in his life. But he dropped his douchebag act and solely focused on learning all he could about the supernatural.

"He'll live." Derek stood right in front of Boyd and Erica.

"Can we see him?" Erica asked in almost a whisper. Derek shook his head. "Not yet. He needs to rest. Scott and Jackson are with him now. They'll make sure he gets home safe."

The blonde looked like she would cry any second. Boyd couldn't meet Derek's eyes and was just staring at his feet. After what felt like an eternity, they decided to speak up.

"We're sorry, Derek." Boyd spoke quietly. Erica was sniffling now, her eyes were shining with unshed tears. "We abandoned you, abandoned the pack. After everything with the Kanima and Gerard.. we just-" The tall beta stopped abruptly. Words caught in his throat as images of the mad Argent and dead bodies flashed through his memories.

"We were really scared." Erica spoke softly in a whisper. Derek would've missed her words without his werewolf hearing. He smelt saltwater and noticed the blonde's tears falling on the floor.

He stepped forward and wrapped both of them in a hug. He could tell they were both surprised by his gesture. But he felt them relax against his embrace and hug him back. Erica's tears were soaking in his shirt. Yes, he was mad at them for abandoning him. But when he found out they went missing, that anger quickly got replaced with overwhelming worry. Now all he felt was relief.

"I'm just glad you're safe." He could feel Boyd's tears on his shoulders as well. They were getting his Henley wet but he didn't mind.

He had his family back.

He heard footsteps and looked over their shoulders to see his sister walking away from them.


"I don't need two babysitters! I wasn't even stabbed!" Stiles's voice got loud as he snapped at the overbearing werewolves in his bedroom. They were back from Deaton's. Jackson took on the honor of driving his beloved Roscoe once again. Stiles trusts the former-kanima with his jeep more than his best friend. Scott may be good at riding a bike but put him behind a wheel, it's your funeral.

"You lost so much blood!" Scott's voice was just as loud as his best friend.

Stiles was laying down on his bed with his back resting on a bunch of pillows. His side still ached dully but he could tell it was healing already. All the werewolf voodoo healing from both the betas paid off. But now he was close to smashing their heads with his baseball bat as they refused to leave him alone.

"Look. My dad will be back from his shift soon. He may not know about all these furry stuff but at least I wouldn't be alone. Until then, one of you can stay here with me. And it's not gonna be you, Scotty." Stiles could see the pout forming on the other boy's face before it even appeared.

"Why not?" Who wouldn't want to make dog jokes when a werewolf made such a puppy face?

"Because you got your ass handed to you as well. You may have super-healing but you still need rest. Lizard-boy over here managed to avoid wolfy claws like a pro. He can stay with me. You go rest."

Scott still looked unsure. Even ignoring the so-called restraining order, the co-captain and Stiles never saw eye to eye with each other. He didn't want to find one of them dead in the morning.

"You sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure." And Stiles knew his heartbeat didn't falter because he was sure about Jackson staying with him. The co-captain may have been a pain-in-the-ass for him before but he did clean up his act after becoming a werewolf.

Also, Stiles found himself less hostile towards the other boy ever since he accepted his relationship with Lydia. He might have worshipped her once but now he realized how much better off they were as friends. They are too alike to be involved in a relationship.

Stiles doesn't need another know-it-all to compete with. They are good at researching and figuring stuff out together. As soon as Stiles decided to see past his obsession with the strawberry blonde, he realized it was a disaster waiting to happen. They would get bored with each other pretty soon. Thinking along the same lines and finishing each other's sentences is fun in a twin/siblings way. But it wouldn't be as fun with your significant other. He'd much rather be with someone who hates research, doesn't have the need to know every single detail. He can balance them out with his incessant talking and never-ending energy.

"Alright. I'll take off then. Call me if anything happens." Scott moved over to hug his friend carefully, minding his side. He left the room with a nod directed at Jackson. The front door slammed shut as Scott left the house, leaving Stiles and Jackson alone.

An awkward silence fell over the both of them. Stiles couldn't sit still in a situation like that. He started to fidget soon enough.

"So… wanna watch Ginger Snaps?" Stiles looked at the werewolf with his bambi eyes. Jackson just scoffed at the question.


Derek climbed the stairs that lead up to his bedroom, where his sister just went. He could hear her steady heartbeat like a pleasant set of drums. Her smell hit his senses, making his wolf hum with contentment. It's been a long time since his wolf felt family, his own blood.

Derek pushed open the door to his bedroom and found Cora sitting on the edge of the large king-size bed. She was going through a book of some kind. Derek walked closer and noticed that it was his sketchbook.

He used to sketch back in high school. Before Kate and the fire. His sketchbook was among the few things that were not destroyed in the fire. He threw it away before they went to New York but Laura brought it back. The first few pages were adorned with sketches of his lost family. There was one of his mom while she had Cora napping in her lap, one of Cora braiding Laura's hair, another of his parents looking at each other and smiling.

Derek remembers the first time he looked at the sketchbook after they left Beacon Hills. It was two years after the fire. He was in a very bad place in his life at that point. He would often drink the nights away even though alcohol had no effect on his system. And then he would pick fights with actual drunks who were frustrated at getting fired, facing relationship problems, or having money issues. Derek would deliberately egg them on and let them use him as a punching bag. He knew he would heal in no time and by morning, it would look like nothing had happened. But he found some solace in that temporary pain, no matter how fleeting it was.

Laura had had enough of his shit one night and dragged him home to yell at him. She yelled for hours and Derek just listened. Then he found Laura a couple of hours later, staring at his sketchbook. Their family albums and most of the pictures were destroyed in the fire. Derek saw as his sister kept looking at his sketch of their parents and kept sobbing uncontrollably. He sat beside her and let her cry at his shoulder. They didn't say anything else for the night. But Derek stopped visiting bars and getting into fights after that.

The sketchbook would often stay at his bedside table. He tried to pick up a pencil and draw something at times. But his fingers would freeze before even making contact with the paper. He hadn't found the motivation to draw something worthwhile again.

Derek took a seat next to Cora. She was looking at the sketch of her and Laura. They were both laughing in that. Laura's head was thrown back a little and Cora was looking at her sister with an unfinished braid in her hands.

"I remember this. It was the first day of my homeschooling." Cora brushed her fingers over the pencil strokes. "I was mad at mom for making me quit school. I didn't understand how much danger the other kids were in with me out of control."

"You didn't eat anything the whole day." Derek laughed softly at the memory. "Laura said she would sneak you out to go to the playground if you ate something. You dared her to let you braid her hair first." Cora chuckled, sniffling slightly.

"Yeah, she hated it when I made her my model for trying out new hairstyles. I thought she'd refuse and I wouldn't have to eat. But she let me braid her hair without any protests. And when I started, she kept tickling me." Her eyes were moist as she let out a tearful chuckle. Derek took the sketchbook from her hands and pulled his sister close by her shoulders. She rested her head on the crook of her brother's neck and started to cry quietly.

"I missed you, big bro." She said in a whisper. Derek tightened his hold on his sister.

"I missed you too."


They were almost halfway through the movie when Jackson started to fidget in his seat. They were sitting side by side on Stiles's bed, a bowl of popcorn between them that Jackson heat up without Stiles pestering him once. Stiles was a little tempted to tease the beta about his improved personality, but he decided against it since he didn't want to be a dick himself.

He could see that Jackson was really trying to be better. He didn't want to discourage that in any way. But the beta fidgeting was not normal. Fidgeting was Stiles's thing, okay? His ADHD makes it impossible for him to stay still for more than a few minutes. And seeing Jackson playing with the hem of his shirt was making him agitated.

"You okay?" He looked at the beta with a frown on his face. Jackson looked like he was struggling to say something. After a while, he finally looked up.

"Look, Stiles. I just wanna say.. that I'm sorry. For everything." He looked away again, staring at the laptop screen. "I've been a dick to you all this time, even when you didn't deserve it. You were trying to help me and I almost- I almost killed you.. your dad- at the station.." He trailed off and looked down at his fingers again. Stiles could feel remorse coming off the boy beside him in waves. He knew why Jackson always tried to be the best at everything. Knowing that you were adopted was not a good feeling. He may have a Porsche and everything a kid their age could dream of, but he was still alone. He didn't have any friends besides Danny and being the Kanima, knowing what he did, it would crush anyone's spirit beyond repair. But the newest beta pulled through. Stiles knew that Jackson spent a lot of time with Derek over the summer, training and learning how to be a werewolf, how to be part of a pack.

He received cryptic texts from the boy sometimes asking him about random werewolf facts, terms he heard from Derek and wanted to know more about. If they were friends, he would pull Jackson in for a hug and tell him how proud he was of him. But they weren't friends, not yet. So Stiles settled for a pat on the other boy's shoulder instead.

"It's all good, man. We're on the same team now, right?" He could feel Jackson relax under his touch. The beta met his eyes again and smirked.

"Yeah. You've become a lot less annoying as soon as you stopped mooning over Lydia." Stiles punched him playfully on the shoulder.

"I wasn't mooning," he stopped at the beta's are-you-serious expression. "Okay, maybe I was. But I realized we were better off as friends. She's smart and awesome to have around. But she's not the one for me. She doesn't make me nervous, doesn't make my heart race or makes me wanna slap her and kiss her at the same time. Not like-" Stiles stopped abruptly, not realizing where he was going with his rant.

"Not like a certain Alpha?" Jackson said slowly, watching Stiles's reaction carefully. The human boy choked on air as soon as he realized what Jackson was implying.

"What?! What are you talking about? Are you serious right now? No, no no no no no no! There is nothing between me and Derek, okay? You're delusional, lizard boy! Was there wolfsbane in Cora's claws? Cause you definitely sound out of your mind right now!" Jackson watched in amusement as the teen reached the end of his rant. He could hear Stiles's heartbeat going crazy as soon as he mentioned Derek. A faint smell of lilacs hit his nose too.

Good. That's some confirmation. Now I need to see the other party's reaction as well. Boy, won't that be something?

Before Jackson could start contemplating ways to make Stiles more of a bumbling mess, he heard the cruiser pull up into the driveway.

"Your dad's home. I gotta go. Call if anything happens." He stood up from the bed and made his way over towards the window. He didn't want to face the Sheriff and lie to him about what he was doing at the Stillinski household at this hour, especially considering the former restraining order against the younger Stillinski.

"Alright. See ya. Also, there is nothing between me and Derek, 'kay?" Stiles almost yelled the last part out. Jackson just laughed quietly and stepped out of the house through the window.


It had been a couple of hours since Stiles fell asleep. But Derek still couldn't bring it to himself to leave. He sat outside the window by the roof of the house for quite some time. He could hear the Sheriff snoring lightly inside the house. Stiles's deep breathing told him long ago the boy was alive and well. But every time he decided to leave, all he could see was the bloodied body of the teenager in his arms.

He wouldn't be able to live with himself if something happened to the spastic boy inside. Ever since they were thrust into this world, Derek did everything he could to push Stiles away. The boy probably thought he hated him or something, thanks to all the disgruntled words and shoving into hard surfaces. But all Derek wanted was for the human to be away from all of this, so he could be safe and stay alive. He's seen the disaster the supernatural can bring. Any supernatural creature is hardly safe in this world, let alone an overly-eager human.

But Stiles was nothing if not persistent. A small smile started to take over Derek's lips as he thought about when Stiles almost dared him to punch through a wall to prove his strength. That's when he heard something.

It was a small whimper, barely imperceptible. But Derek's werewolf senses were nothing if not keen. He focused his hearing and there it was again. It took a few more seconds for him to realize the source of the sound.

Stiles. He was having a nightmare.

Derek didn't wait a moment longer. He immediately jumped by Stiles's bedroom window and climbed in. He would have words about the human leaving his bedroom window unlocked later. Right now, he had to wake him from whatever was making the boy sweat and cry in his sleep.

Derek turned on the bedside lamp first. He had no trouble seeing in the dark but he didn't want Stiles to freak out as soon as he woke up. Stiles was shaking and sweating profusely. He had the sheets clutched tightly in his hands, his knuckles white. Hair was sticking all over his forehead, low whimpers made their way out of his mouth.

"No.. no, stop. Please, stop.." Derek sat by the teen's bed and put a hand on his shoulder. He slowly started to shake Stiles, careful not to startle him too much.

"Stiles. Stiles, it's okay. You're safe. It's just a dream. Wake up." He kept his voice steady and soft. "Stiles, wake up."

Stiles sat up straight suddenly with a gasp leaving his lips. He looked around wildly for a moment. His eyes landed on Derek and he froze.

"Derek? What are you doing here? Is everything okay?" Derek felt something unusual fluttering in his chest. This boy was thrashing in his sleep not a moment ago. And now he was worried about something else being wrong.

"Yeah, everything's fine. I was just checking up on you. You were having a nightmare." Stiles looked away from the Alpha's eyes; he started to fidget with the hem of his sheet.

"Yeah, that happens.. sometimes." He mumbled almost incoherently. Derek could smell the distress waving off of the human. But he had to know.

"Since when?" Stiles didn't say anything, didn't even look up. "Stiles, look at me," the teen complied and stared into the Alpha's piercing blue-green eyes. "Since when?"

"After Gerard."

A silence fell over the room. Derek could hear the Sheriff still snoring lightly in the other room. Stiles wasn't looking at him anymore; his gaze fell on a far wall.

"He tortured you?" Derek asked softly. Stiles took a deep breath and stared at his hands.

"He wanted to teach a lesson to Scott. Wanted to break his spirits. Said it'd crush him to find his best friend beaten to a pulp," he let out a humorless chuckle, "I was an idiot who thought he could take on the old bastard when werewolves couldn't."

"Wait. Weren't Boyd and Erica with Gerard? He had them tied up, didn't he?"

"Yeah. I found them, tried to set them free. He caught me instead. Beat me in front of them while they were tied with electrical wires."

"Oh, Stiles.." Derek found himself pulling the teen towards him. He wrapped his hand around Stiles's shoulder and pulled him closer. Something was making him feel overly protective of the boy in front of him; him and his wolf. If Gerard were still alive, Derek would surely go over there to finish him off right now. "Why can't you just… stay safe?"

"'Cause I'm awesome and I can save your asses when you need it." Stiles mumbled, his voice slightly muffled from being squashed to the werewolf's side. Derek rolled his eyes and just scoffed a little. He noticed a water bottle on top of Stiles's desk and got up to get it. Stiles moved and sat on the edge of his bed. He was wearing a pair of sweats and a loose t-shirt. His side wasn't hurting anymore but it felt a little itchy. Derek handed him the bottle of water and sat down beside him. Stiles took a few gulps and sat the bottle down. They stayed like that for a while, a comfortable silence falling over them.

"Stiles, I'm sorry."

"For what?" Stiles looked a little puzzled at the sudden apology.

"For everything. If it wasn't for my uncle biting your best friend, you wouldn't have been thrown into the whole supernatural mess. You would have a normal life, not having to face death every other night."

"Derek, I literally dragged Scott out at night 'cause I wanted to find the half of a body. You know why? 'Cause I was bored! You think I wouldn't have stumbled upon danger if my best friend couldn't grow sideburns out of the blue?" Derek smiled a little at that. "Peter still creeps me out a bit sometimes. But I'm glad to be a part of all this. To know that we're doing something to help people, save them. So, thank you, for making me a part of your world."

"You made yourself a part of it." One of the best parts of it, actually.

Stiles's ears turned red. They sat beside each other with their shoulders almost brushing.

"Hey, Derek. Can I ask you something?" Derek just looked at him, his eyebrows doing a dance that Stiles deciphered as 'what'.

"What do the eye colors mean in betas? Most of the wolves have golden eyes, but you and Jackson have blue eyes. Why is that?" Derek became a little uncomfortable at the question. He looked away from the teen.

"Eye color signifies the soul of a wolf. Golden means warm and good. When you take an innocent life, your eyes turn a cold, hard blue.. signifying the state of your soul." Stiles didn't say anything; his brain processing the information rapidly. He could tell it was a touchy subject for the werewolf, but his curiosity got the better of him.

"Jackson's I understand, when he was the Kanima.. but, what about you? Who did you kill?" Derek shook his head. "Stiles, it was a long time ago. I didn't-"

"Hey, hey," Stiles cut him off. "I won't judge you. I just wanna know." He moved closer to the wolf and put a hand on his shoulder. "I know you, Derek. I trust you. You trust me, right?" Derek looked into those warm honey-brown eyes and felt his resolve melting.

"Yeah, I do. It's a really long story-"

"I won't be able to sleep now anyways. And you know me. Now that I have this sliver of information, I'll start digging until I find it out. Won't you prefer I get the true version of the story? Secondary sources are not the most reliable, you know?" The boy was smirking a little. He knew he had the wolf tamed. Derek just blew a breath through his lips. He didn't want Stiles to know that part of his life. He couldn't bear it if the boy started to hate him after knowing what he did. But Stiles was right. It was better for him to know right from the source instead of getting some warped up version from somewhere else. So he started telling him.

He told him about Paige. The day he met her, him being a total dick to the girl. Her challenging him to play any instrument, their little banters and then, finally them being together. Stiles listened through it all, soaking every word. He didn't move once during the whole story. Derek's face brightened a little when he first started to reminiscence the old memories. But it got more and more distressed as he progressed.

"Back then, Peter was my best friend. I used to share everything with him. What I was feeling, what I thought I should do, my crushes and all.. he was my listening ear. So when I told him about my concerns regarding Paige and her safety, he convinced me it would be a good idea to turn her."

"You asked your mother to bite her?" Stiles's eyes widened slightly. Derek shook his head.

"No, she would never do it. There is always a risk of the bite not taking and the host dying a horrible death. My mother would never take that risk with a teenager. Hell, she wouldn't even risk an adult unless there was another option or someone was absolutely sure about their decision." He took a deep breath. Stiles could tell how much it was hurting him to relive these memories, so he could guess that what happened next wasn't anything good.

"There were other packs visiting, lots of Alphas in the neighborhood. So I saw an opportunity.. and I took it." Derek went silent. It was eerily quiet in the room except for their breathing. Suddenly Derek felt a warm smaller hand on top of his that was resting on the bed beside him. He looked at the hand and then at the person the hand belonged to.

Warm honey-brown eyes greeted him. He could detect sadness inside there, sadness for him. He could also feel compassion radiating off the younger man. Stiles tightened his grip on Derek's hand. He didn't break eye contact. Derek couldn't see any resentment or disappointment in there. It was a little unsettling, to not see any negative emotion in someone's eyes after telling them his past. But it wasn't a bad kind of unsettling, just the opposite.

"She died after the bite didn't take?" Stiles's voice was very soft when he asked it. Derek felt himself fighting the words, but he knew he had to tell him the truth.

"She was in my arms. I was draining her pain as much as I could.. but it wasn't enough. I never told her who I really was, what I really was. But she knew, she noticed the little things. She was with me anyways. When the pain was getting too much to bear, she asked me to end it. And I did." Stiles squeezed Derek's hand that was in his grip. Derek didn't meet his eyes, he was staring at the floor. He could feel his voice tighten; his eyes were starting to sting as well. "She told me she loved me before she died in my arms."

The silence dragged for a few minutes. Neither one of them said anything. Stiles could feel a tear falling from his eye and making its way down his cheek. He couldn't imagine the pain Derek felt at that moment. He was hurting for the brooding werewolf sitting beside him. Stiles didn't know how to break the silence; how to make the other man feel better. Before he could find his words, Derek broke the silence himself.

"Now you know. Taking an innocent life takes away a part of a werewolf's soul." His voice was thick with emotion. His eyes were still stinging but no tear fell out yet. "It turns their warm yellow eyes into a cold, hard blue. That's why my beta eyes are blue. They're the eyes of a monster." That snapped Stiles out of his revere. His grip on the werewolf's hand tightened. He gripped Derek's arm and turned the wolf towards him roughly. Derek could easily fight him off if he wanted to, but he didn't.

"Now you listen here, Derek Hale. You may be the most stubborn, arrogant and brooding Sourwolf in history, but You. Are. Not. A. Monster." Derek finally looked into the honey-brown eyes. They were shining with tears and a ferocity he hadn't seen in a while. "You were fifteen! How were you supposed to know it would go wrong like that? You were just a kid! And even if it was your fault, to go through that, the pain of killing the girl you loved, I'd say it was more than enough for a redemption."

Stiles shuffled closer. There was barely any distance between them now. Stiles brought his hands up to cup Derek's cheek, the hard stubble brushed against his palms. He brushed his thumbs against the brilliant cheekbones he envied so often. "You ended her pain. You helped her find peace. I'm sure she forgave you when she told you she loved you. Now you need to forgive yourself." Stiles did something he wouldn't have dared to do a few months back even if someone offered him a million dollars.

He hugged Derek.

It wasn't the most comfortable position considering they were both sitting on Stiles's bed side by side. But Stiles couldn't stop himself from finding a way to comfort the older man. He was almost in Derek's lap but he didn't back down. He wrapped his arms around the Alpha's neck and pulled him closer; all the while praying that Derek wouldn't throw him across the room for doing something like that. But he sighed in relief when he felt Derek wrap his arms around his waist. Stiles felt a warm hand on the small of his back and the other one around his hip. Derek buried his face in Stiles's neck and breathed in the human's scent. It was oddly comforting. The smell of coffee and lemongrass filled his senses and he found himself relaxing.

A tear made its way down his stubbly cheek.


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