AN - Happy Friday! As always I do not own Covert Affairs or any of the characters I'm playing with in this story. We are are spending this chapter in beautiful Israel! Israel has been on my bucket list for as long as I can remember but I've never had the opportunity to go. Work has presented as opportunity to FINALLY travel there for business as soon as the pandemic is under control. This chapter is extremely personal for me. I grew up as an army brat, moving frequently, and I recall the relief that I felt when my father retired from active service. I thought the constant uprooting was finally over, but I was proven quite incorrect. We settled down for almost a decade, but just as I was entering my senior year of high school, everything changed and once again I was uprooted from everything I knew. I was devastated and it left me with invisible scars and a reluctance to make connections of any lasting kind. The idea of HOME became an unfulfillable idea to me, and then I met my husband, and just like it did for Annie in this chapter, everything fell into place for me. I hope you all are enjoying reading this as much as I am enjoying writing it! Feedback and reviews are always appreciated!
Dreaming Through Regret
Interlude – You Are In Love
Annie's flight into Cairo International Airport landed 20 minutes ahead of schedule after a non eventful trip. She and Eyal had shared a cab to Dulles the prior morning with Eyal's flight into Tel Aviv departing a couple hours before her flight into Cairo. Annie was pleased with the additional 20 minutes to get deplaned, through immigration, and checked into her flight from Cairo to Tel Aviv. The whole process, plus getting to her next gate, took about 2 hours, leaving her with just enough time to freshen up a little in the ladies room and to grab a coffee. Israel had always been on her list of places to see but she had never had a chance to do so before now. Now she would get to experience the country with a native guide who would ensure that she had a wonderful time.
Eyal's flight into Tel Aviv landed 30 minutes after Annie's flight from Cairo departed. He checked his phone and saw a text from her confirming that she had departed on time and would see him quite soon. Eyal, knowing that the flight from Cairo was typically ahead of schedule, was more pleased than normal that he was able to breeze through the immigration process. As expected, Annie's flight from Cairo arrived almost 45 minutes earlier than scheduled, and she was able to make her way through immigration in short order. Not having any checked luggage to claim made the whole process easier than the normal tourist experienced. Annie was eager to find Eyal in the arrivals area of Ben Gurion Airport and be on their way to explore his home country.
Eyal was waiting for her just outside the arrivals under the shade of a few palm trees holding a sign that said 'Neshama' (homage to season 3 episode 5). Annie wished she could jump into his arms, but knowing that there were cameras everywhere at the airport, resigned herself to only marginally picking up her pace to get to him more quickly.
"You once said everything's better in Israel." Annie quipped, smiling.
"Well, now's your chance to find out." Eyal replied with a grin on his face before taking her bag and heading to hail a taxi.
Eyal directed the taxi to his Tel Aviv home where they dropped off their bags and they both changed out of their rumpled traveling clothes. Annie emerged from the bedroom in a beautiful light blue summer dress and a pair of low espadrilles which complemented Eyal's white linen button down shirt, sleeves rolled to the elbow, and khakis. Annie, relieved that they had finally escaped the plethora of cameras that surrounded the airport, finally was able to wrap her arms around Eyal's neck and deliver the kiss she had so desperately wanted to give him at the airport.
"I missed you too, Neshama." Eyal said after they parted when oxygen became necessary.
"So, what do you have in store for me, tour guide?"
"Lunch at the Old Tel Aviv Port, followed by the Museum of Art, then I'm taking you north of the city for a surprise."
"Sounds wonderful, Eyal."
"It will be, but first, there is something I want to show you. Come with me."
Eyal took Annie's hand and led her out to his black BMW convertible, its top already down, and into the passenger seat. After closing the passenger door Eyal made his way to the driver's side and settled in, taking one of Annie's hands in his after turning the car on. The drive was spent quietly with only the wind that was blowing through Annie's hair providing the soundtrack. Annie was a little surprised to pull into a parking spot at a local park, but quickly exited the car and met Eyal on a walking path nearby. As Eyal slowly guided Annie through the park he began quietly speaking.
"You know from our adventure in Paris that I was married once before and you of course know that I joined Mossad after my sister was killed. But there is another part to my history that I haven't shared with you yet, and since you are here in Israel, I thought, maybe, it would be easier to just show you."
They came to a stop at a point on the path that overlooked a soccer field, one where young boys were playing.
Eyal continued once they'd stopped walking, "That's my son down there, Avi. Number four in the yellow. My ex-wife got custody of him years ago, but I still see him as often as I can, even if it is from a distance."
"Eyal, I had no idea."
"You weren't meant to, at least not until now, Neshama. For the first time since joining Mossad I feel connected to someone, you, and I want to share all the parts of me with you."
"He's beautiful Eyal, I can see he looks like you, even from here."
"It doesn't bother you? Me having a son?"
"No Eyal, we all have histories, and I can't do anything but embrace yours, just as I know you'll embrace mine as it unveils itself to you."
"Maybe someday you'll get to meet him in person."
"I'd like that, Eyal." Annie said with a smile, taking his hand in both of hers as they stood watching his son play soccer for the next half hour.
"Come, let's introduce you to my home." Eyal said, breaking their comfortable silence.
"Looking forward to it." Annie said, smiling brightly at Eyal before dropping a kiss on his cheek.
Eyal led them back to his car and trivial conversation about the sights filled the space between them as he drove to the Old Tel Aviv Port where they were going to have lunch. When they arrived, Eyal handed his car keys over to a valet and then Annie wrapped her arm around one of his and they walked down the pier to look out over the Mediterranean. The mix of the warm sea air and Annie's signature grapefruit scent engulfed Eyal, instantaneously relaxing him. Annie could feel the tension leave him as they stood there watching the waves crash on the shore and she realized she had never been happier.
Eyal pulled Annie to stand in front of him at the end of the pier protectively placing her between both his arms as the both looked out at the blue green water. After a few minutes Annie turned and caught his lips in a sweet kiss before leaning into his chest listening to his heartbeat.
"It's absolutely stunning here, I can see why you believe everything is better in Israel."
"Now you believe me. Let's go get some lunch, there is a great falafel place just down the way and we can sit and talk about anything we want."
Annie and Eyal made their way to a quaint cafe and sat outside under the shade of a red umbrella. The menu was overflowing with items that Annie wanted to try, but she couldn't pass up the chance to eat falafel in the country that named it the national dish. Eyal also ordered falafel and made sure they both got Limonana to drink.
After their drinks were placed on the table Annie broke the silence between them. "When I joined the agency I thought I was doing so because I wanted it. Turns out that Arthur Campbell recruited me for a very specific purpose."
"Your language skills?"
"No, I wish that were the case though. They wanted me because I had a very passionate, though short lived, fling with a top level operative that had gone rogue on them. They used me to smoke him out."
"Annie…"
"No, it's okay. I haven't ever really gotten to talk about any of this with anyone, let alone with someone who cares about me and will actually understand the implications. Joan went along for the ride at first, but eventually fought against Arthur for me. They pulled me in for a mission that required my expertise in Russian, a mission where I was nearly killed twice. Surprise, surprise, Ben showed up to play the hero the second time."
"Wait, Ben? You don't mean Ben Mercer?"
"You know him?"
"I know of him. Dangerous Black Ops are Kiddon's specialty. Mercer's name is both revered and reviled in those circles."
"Yeah, that's him. We met in Sri Lanka and I... complicated his mission. He left me on the beach with a note, 'The truth is complicated'. Who does that? It made no sense to me at first, and then I let that relationship rule my life for years. I was a silly grad student traveling the world. When I finally came back to the States I signed up for the CIA."
"It's not silly to love people Annie. I think your ability to see the best in people is one of your greatest assets."
"It's funny, the first time we met was only 3 weeks into the job for me. I hadn't even finished my training, but they kept me at the DPD anyway. I didn't go back to finish my firearm handling course until after Paris."
"You were greener than I imagined then, though you surprised me in Zurich you know. You adapt incredibly well and come up with innovative solutions to your problems. The best part of you though is your compassion, Paris showed me that. You could have left me there, but you came for me."
"I'll always come for you, Eyal. I didn't know it then but I do now, I trust that you would do the same for me."
They paused their discussion as lunch was delivered and they both dug in. A couple of bites later Eyal posed a question to Annie, "Why did you stay? After learning the reason you were brought in?"
"I was good at it. It felt good to be good at something. I'd made friends, Jai and Auggie, and Joan had apologized for her part in pulling me in like they did. By later on I'd met you…"
"I'm glad you stayed, especially since we kept running into each other."
"I am too. I found my home in the most unlikely of places."
"Home?"
"It's a long story that I'll share another time, but the short of it is, I've spent most of my life bouncing around as a military brat and nowhere ever felt like home. I'd hoped to find someplace to call home during all my traveling but nothing ever clicked. I can't remember where I heard it, but someone once told me that for some people home is a place but that for a few lucky people home is a person. You are my home Eyal."
"I'm honored, Neshama."
They leisurely finished their lunch over the next half hour, quietly chatting as they watched the diverse plethora of people walk by. After paying for their meal, Eyal led Annie away from the Old Port area into the city, choosing to walk to the art museum rather than try to navigate the busy streets of Tel Aviv. The three miles were spent with Annie quizzing Eyal about all the architecture and history of the area and Eyal sportingly telling her all he knew, which he admitted wasn't much.
They spent a couple hours at the museum, learning more about the other through seeing the artwork that appealed to them. Annie was drawn to the Israeli art as well as the contemporary collection that the Museum boasted. Eyal was more interested in the Modern and contemporary collections, but he was pleased that there was some overlap in their interests while also enough difference that led to fascinating debates.
"We should do that more." Annie quipped as they left the museum later in the afternoon.
"We will, Annie. I enjoy hearing your perspective on all the pieces."
Rather than walk back to the Old Port area, Eyal hailed a cab. Annie was relieved at the chance to get off her feet and out of the heat for a bit, though also a bit disappointed to not get to walk through more of the city. When they arrived back at the Old Port Area Eyal had the valet retrieve his BMW and once they were both buckled up he drove them out of the city headed north.
"Where are we going, Eyal?" Annie asked curiously.
"Where the current takes me, Neshama. Trust the river to take you where you need to go, trust me to be there with you."
"I trust you." Annie said with a smile before breaking out into peals of laughter as the wind blew through her hair.
They drove for almost an hour, hands clasped between them, with no need for words. Twilight had descended upon them as they drove, a beautiful sunset painting the sky. Eyal pulled into the parking lot of another park and, before exiting the car, grabbed a bag from the back seat. They found a spot to sit on the ground in the park and Eyal produced a bottle of red wine and a couple of wine glasses. He poured them both a glass and then directed Annie's gaze towards the heavens.
"This park is one of the best places to stargaze in Israel. If you look up now you will just be able to make out Cygnus to the north."
"Eyal, this is amazing. The stars are so bright here. The lights of DC make it almost impossible to see them this clearly."
"Someday I'll take you to the Negev Desert and we can stargaze all night. You can see the Milky Way vividly from there."
Eyal leaned back on his elbows and set his glass of wine down. Annie settled in next to him, head resting on his chest as he quietly pointed out all the visible constellations in the sky above them. Luckily it was the middle of summer so while the night air was cooler, it was still comfortable. They spent a couple hours under the blanket of stars before Annie's stomach made itself known.
"I guess that means it's time to find dinner then." Eyal said with a chuckle.
"It's been a busy day!" Annie replied lightly smacking his shoulder as they headed back to the car.
They headed into the small town of Caesarea for a wonderful meal of fresh fish and local delicacies before heading back to Tel Aviv. Eyal kept the top down on his car as they drove, enjoying the smile on Annie's face as the wind blew through her hair. He lifted her hand clasped in his and kissed it, realizing in that moment that this woman had somehow become his best friend as well as his lover. He looked back over all their encounters and knew that there was no one else he could picture next to him.
Annie looked over at Eyal after he kissed her hand, and in that moment, nothing else existed. No missions to pull them away from each other, no bad memories of prior heart breaks, no protocols to dance around. Despite the lack of words flowing between them she could hear everything that they meant to each other in the silence. The warm night air was infused with the knowledge that they would protect each other from the world. The depth of care was somehow illuminated by the darkness, it shone with the fire of their feelings for each other. Time seemed to both stop and speed up and for the first time in forever, Annie let go of the past.
Eyal parked the car and hopped out before making his way to Annie's door to open it for her. Annie took his hand and they both felt a jolt of electricity at the touch. They knew everything had changed somehow, their connection solidified into an unbreakable bond. Annie leaned up onto her toes to catch Eyal's lips with hers for a kiss, before they headed into the house.
Unable to help himself, as soon as the door closed behind them, Eyal pinned Annie to the door and his lips were on hers. Annie melted into him as the kiss grew in passion, a mix of a moan and a purr sounding from her throat. Her hands came up to untuck his shirt and she began to unbutton it. After she had finished unbuttoning his shirt her hands pulled at the hem of his undershirt and then slid under to feel the warmth of his skin. Her fingers ignited Eyal's skin and he pulled back from their kiss.
"Neshama…"
"Bayit…"
"Home?"
"That's what you are Eyal."
With that statement their lips collided once again and Eyal lifted Annie up to wrap her legs around his waist. He turned them to head down the hall to his bedroom, Annie kicked her shoes off to fall behind them while trailing distracting kisses down his neck. Once Eyal's knees encountered the bed he gently placed Annie on it then discarded his unbuttoned shirt, socks, and shoes. Annie slid herself backward to lay on the pillows and Eyal joined her shortly, hovering barely a breath over her.
Eyal caught Annie's gaze, and his face altered from passionate to more intense, "I love you, Annie Walker."
"I love you too, Eyal Lavin." Annie said just as ardently as he had. It was the easiest sentence she had said all day.
Their clothes slowly began to litter the floor around the bed as garment after garment was removed. Hands traced indiscernible patterns on skin and lips left heated kisses where fingers had once tracked. Eyal's fingers soon caressed her soaked center where he spent endless minutes cataloguing her response to the slightest changes in pressure and speed. Annie's nails scratched down his back and through his hair as his ministrations elicited mewls of pleasure from her mouth and the involuntary arching of her back. There was a new, heightened level of gentleness to all their movements that sent them both spiraling towards bliss. As Eyal noticed a new tension in Annie's body, he replaced his fingers with his erection. He caught Annie's eyes with his before slowly sinking home in her.
"Neshama…" Eyal breathed out, "Ani ohev otach."
"I love you too, Bayit." Annie whispered in response before pulling his lips to hers.
They found their rhythm almost immediately, as if their minds and bodies were one. They started tantalizingly slow, enjoying each other's moans and murmurs of pleasure before slowly increasing the pace. Annie could feel Eyal's every move within her, and mixed with the feeling of his abs rippling against her belly and his back contracting under her hands as he thrusted into her, she soon toppled over the ledge into a heady climax. Eyal remained surrounded by her, feeling every clench and each spasm of her orgasm, while kissing her arched neck. Once her body became slack again, he started moving in her again. Her legs came up to wrap around his middle, changing the angle of his penetration, causing him to hit new sensitive spots inside her. Annie was rapidly ascending to another peak, this time taking care to ensure Eyal reached completion with her this time. Moments later they both fell headlong into mutual euphoria.
Eyal dropped to the bed, rolling slightly to avoid landing on Annie, and pulled her into his arms, her back to his front. Annie twisted a bit to receive one last kiss from Eyal before they both drifted into slumber.
The sun rising sent beams of light into the bedroom where Eyal and Annie were sleeping, still wrapped up in each other. A pesky beam of light landed on Eyal's face, pestering him into awakeness. He pulled Annie closer as he woke up, pressing a kiss onto her shoulder while breathing in her scent, trying to engrain it into his memory. Annie drifted awake a few minutes later, a smile on her face as she turned her head to get a kiss from Eyal.
"Good Morning." Annie said quietly.
"This is my preferred way to wake up, you know." Eyal quipped back.
"Oh? And what makes it your preferred way?" Annie replied with a grin.
"Having the most beautiful woman in the world naked in my arms. If I could make it so, I'd always sleep and wake this way." Eyal stated, a gentle seriousness coloring his voice.
"Me too, Eyal." Annie replied honestly.
"I was going to take you to the beach today, Neshama. But now I am tempted to stay here in bed all day instead."
"What about a little of both, Bayit. We don't have to go right away do we?" Annie said giggling as she turned to fully face him.
"No, I suppose we don't." Eyal said before leaning in to kiss her leisurely.
They spent a couple more hours in bed loving each other before rising to shower together and dress for the beach. Eyal drove them out of the city past Jaffa and to Ajami Beach which gave them the opportunity to not only be at the beach but to also take in the ancient city of Jaffa if they wanted. Annie was wearing a large floppy hat and a flowing dress covering a lovely blue one piece swimsuit and Eyal was wearing a lightweight short-sleeved linen button down over his black swim shorts. They unanimously decided, without having to use words, to walk the beach first. Annie took off her sandals and walked along the beach right where the waves would crash over her feet, Eyal holding her hand.
After several paces walked in silence, listening to the water crash on the shore Eyal asked Annie, "Why is the idea of home so important to you, Neshama?"
Annie took a couple paces to collect her thoughts before replying, "We moved a lot when I was a kid, which I guess comes with being an 'army brat'. I let myself get connected to the places we lived and the people we met and the friends I made the first couple of places we lived. But that always came with the heartbreak of goodbyes. You know, I used to gather up all the pictures and mementos from each place we lived… I put them all in a box and buried them in the backyard the night before we left. Eventually I stopped, stopped getting attached to the houses we lived in, stopped making friends, stopped becoming invested, it was easier that way."
"Annie…"
"No, there's more, please let me finish or I'll never get it all out. When I finished grad school I realized that it wasn't normal. Not having a place you called home. All my friends from school were going home, to families they loved, and sometimes to jobs they were excited about. By that time I didn't really have much to do with either of my parents, and Danielle and Michael were just married with a baby on the way. There was no home for me to go back to, so I started looking for one everywhere. I thought I found it a couple times along the way but it always collapsed around me. It drove me to the CIA, like I told you yesterday, and for a while that felt like home, but that only lasted so long." Annie paused for a second before continuing. "Home, to me, is protection from the storm, the ability to be my truest self, and absolute contentment. What I didn't believe until I found it in you, was that home didn't have to be a place, some structure somewhere. For me home is a person. I know that you will weather any storm that passes us by with me, I know you love me as a person, and I am at my absolute happiest when I'm with you. When I'm not with you I'm uneasy and counting down the minutes until we are together again, Eyal."
"You are all that for me as well, Neshama. I truly appreciate you sharing that with me, it lets me understand you a bit better." Eyal told Annie before pulling her in for a long embrace as they both watched the waves roll onto the beach.
After a few minutes Annie broke away and ran playfully into the water before turning to splash Eyal.
"Come catch me" she dared.
Eyal let out a deep laugh before dashing into the water himself. Annie darted away from his grasp a few times, but ultimately his longer legs won out and he was rewarded with a warm kiss from his quarry. They continued walking the beach for a bit before heading back to the car to grab a beach blanket and a basket of treats to eat as well as a book each. They found a vacant umbrella to lay out their blanket under and after stripping down to their swimsuits they laid down for a relaxing afternoon.
They spent the rest of the day at the beach, forgoing touring Jaffa, preferring to spend their remaining time peacefully together at the beach. It took the sun setting to force them to pack up their things and head home. Once they got home they both showered to rinse off the sand, sunscreen, and salt before Eyal started cooking them dinner. They ate a simple yet delicious meal, paired with a fantastic white wine, together before they retired for the evening, knowing that the next day they would be parted for an undetermined amount of time. Very little sleep was had that night as they spent their time trying to memorize everything they could about the other. Hours were spent with hands tracing bodies, tongues tasting heated skin, noses inhaling the scent of the other, and eyes trying to emblazon those moments into their brains to revisit when needed. Murmured 'I love you's were frequent and sincerely meant, both parties trying to utter it enough times to make up for the coming days that would be spent apart. In the early hours of the morning, with both of their bodies exhausted, they dropped into restful sleep tangled in each other.
The next morning Annie and Eyal slept later than usual, the sunny skies now covered in dark grey clouds, a storm threatening in the distance. Annie's alarm sounded at 9am, waking her with enough time to get ready for the day and her last minute packing. She dragged Eyal out of bed with her so that they could shower together. The anxiety had formed into a pit in her stomach, knowing that the time of their separation was getting closer by the minute. She was unable to keep the tears from flowing down her cheeks as she packed the last of her things in her bag. As Eyal's back was turned she snuck both the shirts he had worn while she was there into her bags as well, his smell still on them.
Eyal noticed her sneak his shirts into her bag out of the corner of his eye, as well as tears streaming down her face. "Oh Neshama," he whispered before enfolding her in his arms.
"I'm sorry, Eyal. I thought I would be able to do this without tears, but I seem to have underestimated how much being completely out of touch with you would affect me."
"It's okay, Annie. I hate this just as much as you do, I swear. The idea of not seeing you, not talking to you, for weeks on end is eating away at me. I should have been able to come up with some method…"
"No, Eyal. This is meant to keep you safe. I need you to stay safe so you can come home to me Bayit."
"Oh, I'm not planning on doing anything else. What kind of stupid would I have to be to not make it home to you?"
"Pretty stupid, I am pretty awesome." Annie replied with a slight chuckle through the tears.
"Promise me you'll be safe too. It would kill me to know you were hurt or worse while unable to contact me." Eyal said as he held her tighter in his embrace.
"Always, Eyal. No unreasonably risky choices for me anymore, I've got wonderful things waiting for me to come home."
