AN: Happy Friday! As always, I do not own Covert Affairs or any of the characters. This chapter is from Eyal's POV while on his Kiddon Mission. Reviews and constructive criticism always welcome!

Dreaming Through Regret

Chapter 10 - He Does It So Well

The heat of midday hit Eyal like a brick wall as he exited Ben Gurion Airport after delivering Annie for her flight back to Cairo. The weight of the heat only made the ache of watching Annie walk away from him worse. He'd expected to go through the rest of his life alone, probably meeting an early end due to his line of work, but a petite blonde whirlwind had turned that expectation on its head. Eyal had been absolutely captured by Annie, in every way a person could be, and he wondered how he'd made it almost a decade without her in his life.

He had been unenthused about this Kiddon mission from the moment it showed up in his inbox. Now he was resistant. Annie was going into a mission that could put her in untold risk, with little to no backup available to her, and it made him fearful. He would be actively kept from going to her aid if needed due to the black out on communication required by this mission, and it would likely drive him insane.

Rather than continue to dwell on the weeks ahead of him, he shifted his thoughts back to the storage room at King Saul Blvd and directed his steps back towards his car. 30 minutes later saw the seasoned Mossad Agent acting more like a clerk as he dug through shelves of boxes looking for the symbol he vividly recalled seeing there years ago. Two hours, and lots of cursing in Hebrew, later he finally found the box he remembered, the Big Dipper symbol had faded and was hard to see at first, but there it was.

Eyal took the box to a table near the front of the storage room and began to pull the file folders out. The dates were quite old, the newest being from just over 4 years ago. He flipped that folder open and the first thing he saw was a photo of Simon Fischer speaking to a dark haired woman whose face he couldn't see. He moved on to the notes paperclipped to the photo and quickly scanned through to see if the identity of the woman was listed. There was no name, but the notes stated that the operative who had been following Simon Fischer believed the woman to be CIA. The remaining files corroborate the info that Annie already had access to, detailing his habits and preferences.

As Eyal was placing all the documents back into the box so he could return it to the stacks, his phone buzzed with an incoming text. Before reading it he finished packing up the Big Dipper box and walked it back to where he'd found it. He pulled out both his phones and was pleased to see that the text had come through on his encrypted phone.

'In Egypt safe. Stopping in Suez for docs, then heading out to the Sinai Peninsula. Miss you already Bayit. Stay safe and come back to me as soon as you can. Love you.'

He smiled at the term of endearment she'd bestowed upon him before he tapped out a response.

'Stay safe Neshama. Listen to your instincts, they are your best tool out there and will keep you safe when nothing else can. I am already looking forward to the day I see you again. Ani ohev otach.'

He had been walking the halls of King Saul Blvd as he sent his text to Annie, heading to the Tech Ops department in search of his favorite techie.

"Saul, how are you my friend?"

"I'm well, Eyal, how are you?"

"I'm well, but I need a favor."

"What kind of favor? The last one you asked for turned out quite messy."

"A data favor. I'm looking for information on a person of interest and the old file storage only gave me so much. Can you help me?"

"Alright, let's see what I can find for you. Who is this person of interest?"

"Simon Fischer."

Saul's head popped up from his screen to look Eyal in the eyes. "Do you have any idea what you're asking for, my friend?"

"I didn't, but I'm starting to get the sense that this is not the first time this name has crossed your desk."

"Eyal, where is this coming from? This is not a path you want to go down without a really good reason."

"I have reason to believe he is targeting someone important to me. I need to know what he is capable of so I can keep her safe."

"Shit, Eyal. Okay, let me see what I can get you without setting off all the alerts. It's going to take me some time, at least a week to have anything for you."

"I'm heading out on an operation tonight anyway." Eyal replied, then paused, before continuing. "If something happens to me…can I leave you the name of the woman I am trying to protect, would you get her the intel you gather if I don't make it back?"

"That's completely against protocol, to give intel to a civilian."

"What if I told you she was CIA? Would you do it then?"

"Eyal, what have you gotten yourself into? I'll do what I can, but only if you don't make it back."

"Toda raba, Saul. I owe you one." Eyal offered sincerely as he headed out of the Tech Ops area.

While at King Saul Blvd, Eyal picked up all the gear he'd need for his mission with Kiddon and then headed back to his house. Walking through the door he was swept into memories of Annie and his time together over the last couple of days. He could just make out the lingering scent of her grapefruit perfume as he entered his room. The bed was still unmade due to their quick departure earlier in the day. Despite wanting to keep the reminder of Annie in his bed for as long as possible, he made the bed, and while doing so pulled the case off the pillow Annie had used. It still smelled of her, and he determined that it was coming with him on this mission.

He pulled out his rucksack and began throwing in all the essential items he'd need while out on this operation. The moment where he would normally toss in his cell phone and battery backups came, and he considered packing his encrypted phone for several minutes before turning to place it in his wall safe instead. He spun the dial and turned to grab his packed rucksack, as he turned to leave the bedroom he heard the phone buzz with a text. He was tempted to go back and check it, just to get one more small dose of Annie before he left, but knew that if he did so that phone would not end up back in the safe.

A military vehicle was waiting for him outside as he exited and locked his front door. It would transport him to the nearest base to meet the rest of the Kiddon team assigned to his operation. From there they would head into the contested area of the Golan Heights. He knew that they were tracking a terrorist with plans to force the return of the Heights to Syrian control, but he had not yet been informed who this terrorist was. This was normal operating procedure for Kiddon; until you were on base you weren't informed of the finer details on any operation.

Eyal was the third agent to arrive of five total agents on the operation, so he only had to wait another half hour to assuage his curiosity on their target. They convened in a small conference room on the base to review the plan of operation. The small screen that adorned the wall in front of them flared to life and showed an image he was intimately familiar with, an image he would have died trying to bring back to Mossad if not for Annie.

Mahmoud "Chemical" Kanaan was their target. He has been tracked back to his homeland of Syria and is rumored to be based somewhere in the Syrian controlled portion of the Golan Heights. Their mission is to survey the Golan Heights, locate Kanaan's base of operations, and eradicate him, his team, and his base. Kiddon believes that this operation will last anywhere from 4-6 weeks due to the unrest in the region limiting their timeframe to survey the area until after dark. Two of the other team members assigned to the mission are techies, supposedly the best Mossad drone operators available while the remaining two agents are veteran Kiddon operatives. Eyal knows now that he was assigned because he is one of the very few agents that has actually seen Kanaan in person, and while his history with Kiddon certainly helped him, it was nothing compared to the other two.

Under the cover of darkness, the five agents loaded into a Humvee and started the 2 hour drive to Alonei HaBashan, the eastern most Israeli settlement in the Golan Heights. The team would be setting up their camp in the Forest Bashanit to avoid being noticed in the small settlement that had a population of less than 500. They arrived at the location as the clock ticked over to 3am and rather than try to set up tents in the dark they only pulled the provisioned sleeping pallets from the back of the Humvee out.

Eyal's patience is tested over the next three weeks. Tested by the limitation on when they can use the drones to search for Kanaan, tested by the inability to search for Kanaan himself, tested by not having any idea what Annie was doing. He intermittently worried over Annie finding Fischer and Annie not finding Fischer; he couldn't decide which was worse in his mind. The little bit of intel he had on Fischer was damning, and while he knew that Annie could, and would, handle Fischer competently, he wanted to be able to be her backup.

To keep from going utterly insane Eyal took to writing. He wrote down everything that crossed his mind that he would have shared with Annie had they been together. He wrote about the moments when fear for her overwhelmed him and moments when he missed her. He wrote about the beauty of the Golan Heights and his thoughts on the unrest. But mostly he wrote about how Annie completed him, about how their partnership changed his view on spycraft, and about how their relationship had turned his world upside down.

On the nineteenth day at the camp there was a call from the tech tent they'd set up. Eyal and the two other agents went running to find out what had happened. The techies had finally found a possible location for Kanaan's base. Using their secure communication back to Tel Aviv they sent the coordinates in for satellite verification. Depending on the location of their satellite it could take up to two days for that verification to come through. Eyal sent a prayer that it would not take as long as that since it would mean he could go back to Annie.

Eyal's prayer went unanswered and his mood was further dampened by unceasing and unseasonal rain. Two days passed in torrential downpour, limiting not only his ability to leave his tent but the techie's abilities to continue their drone surveillance. They received a comm back from King Saul Blvd that sent Eyal into a litany of swear words. Due to the storm over the area they were unable to get any satellite images to prove the existence of Kanaan's camp; they'd have to wait another two days for another chance. Eyal poured his frustration into the small notebook he had with him, highlighting his disappointment at the delay and his growing aggravation at the mission as a whole. He began to question why the three additional agents were needed, couldn't the techies do this work without them?

The rain stopped the next day, blue skies reappeared as the sun set, and Eyal's temper settled. The mood in the camp turned hopeful as the established communication time ticked ever closer. All five agents were in the techie tent as the comm came through. Satellite images verified that there was an encampment at the coordinates they had sent through days before. King Saul Blvd also verified that the encampment had not existed 3 months earlier. The team was instructed to commence the second stage of their three stage plan. Eyal and the two other Kiddon agents were now allowed to scout the camp themselves to verify that not only was this Kanaan's camp but that Kanaan was actually there.

Kanaan's camp was in the Al Qunaitra region, one of the further west areas of the Syrian controlled Golan Heights. The team determined that the best course of action would be to relocate their camp to the Avital Mountain Reserve to allow the three Kiddon agents more immediate access to Kanaan's camp. Their camp would be within two miles of Kanaan's at the new location. They would be able to avoid the Camp Zioani UNDOF checkpoint by crossing the ceasefire line further north through a forested area.

The team spent the rest of the afternoon tearing down their camp so they could make the short drive north as night fell. Despite wanting to be underway as quickly as possible, Eyal took care in breaking down his area of the encampment. He knew that even if he finished quickly, that would not make the sun set any sooner and would only mean he'd have a worse time setting up at the new location. Once the five agents had broken down their living areas they all teamed up to break down the equipment and tent that made up the tech tent. The sensitive equipment was the focus of the techies while the Kiddon agents focused on packing the Humvee. They'd removed all traces of their camp just as the sun was kissing the horizon.

Finally having an outlet for his energy, Eyal offered to be the first agent to survey Kanaan's camp. He trekked the almost 2 miles into Syrian controlled Golan Heights and spent a couple hours identifying a good vantage point into the camp. He was situated on top of a ridge with copious amounts of forest cover that looked right over Kanaan's camp. He spent the duration of his time there trying to catalog the movement within the camp, hoping to identify a set schedule of guards and activity.

The Kiddon agents continued to use the vantage point Eyal had found for the next three days. At the end of the three days they sat and, with the help of the techies, used their notes to create a model of the camp and the movements of the people within. Eyal took the lead at this point and proposed a plan of action they could take once they confirmed Kanaan was on site. The four other agents agreed that it was a solid plan and sent the proposal off to King Saul Blvd during the comm window the next day. Once a confirmation that the proposal had been received was sent back to them, the waiting began again.

It took two further days to receive approval on the proposal from King Saul Blvd and another three days passed before the team was able to confirm that the convoy that had just entered the camp included Kanaan. Luck was on their side that day, the convoy had arrived early in the day, which allowed the team time to break down their camp, pack it into the Humvee, and prep their weapons, ammo, and body armor before night fell.

The Kiddon agents left the techies parked on the Israeli side of the Ceasefire Line hidden from view by dense foliage from the surrounding trees, but with a clear path back to the road. The three agents slipped towards the camp under the cover of shadows and arrived at the established meeting point about 20 minutes before the guard changed in Kanaan's camp. They had established that there was about a five minute window where there were no guards watching the exterior of the camp and they would enter the camp then.

After entering the camp the three agents split up and began placing their C4 packets liberally on every second building within. Eyal volunteered to be the agent placing C4 on the buildings at the center of the camp where they knew Kanaan would be housed. He was the first agent in and would likely be the last agent out. After placing his 3 C4 packets on his assigned building, Eyal began to make his way back to the established meeting point, but just as he was about to exit the camp his luck ran out.

A lone sentry. A single man had managed to evade Eyal's notice until it was too late. Pain erupted from his left shoulder, throwing Eyal back to the roof where he shot the Cardinal. The camp flared awake and Eyal took off running trying to escape the blast range so that the C4 could be detonated. He blew past the other Kiddon agents who turned to follow him and a cold sweat descended on him. Once he had passed the meeting spot Eyal began counting his steps; they needed to be at least 100 meters away before the C4 could be detonated without them being in the blast radius. 100 steps, that was as far as he needed to get, but at step 50 he could see the blackness entering his peripheral vision.

"NO." he screamed to himself, "You are better than this. Keep going, keep counting. You have to get back to her."

He shook his head, hoping to clear his vision, it worked for another 40 paces. He was so close but he was losing stamina quickly. Suddenly, he felt one of the other Kiddon agents throw his right arm over their shoulders and hauled him the last 10 paces before they called out to the third agent "Blow it, NOW"

Eyal could feel the heat of the explosion on his back, they'd made it just beyond the blast radius but the heat would continue on for at least double that distance. With the help of the two other agent's Eyal somehow made it to the Humvee, where they laid him out in the furthest back seat. He knew that they couldn't leave until the techies verified that the camp had been eliminated, and heard the other agents yelling to get the drone in the air. Eyal's eyes slipped closed and, despite his mental urging, would not reopen. He focused his hearing on the techies, waiting to hear their confirmation that the camp had been blown to bits. Finally, he heard the shout of confirmation and seconds later felt the engine rev to life underneath him. The last thing he felt was pressure being applied to his shoulder and the pain sending him into unconsciousness.

A steady beeping sound was the first thing Eyal recognized as he regained consciousness. Confusion flooded his system as he tried to figure out where he was, he forced his eyes open and was greeted with the sterile white ceiling he swore was installed in every hospital he had ever been in. After he had assessed his situation, noting the lack of guards and that he was not restrained, he determined that he must be back in Tel Aviv. Eyal started running through his memories, trying to piece together the last minutes of the operation in the Golan Heights. He reached to raise the head of the bed and pain erupted from his left shoulder, and it all came back to him. They'd succeeded, but not without a bump in the road. Villains certainly seemed to like putting bullets through his left shoulder, all he could think was that he'd just gotten it back to 100% and now he was going to have to go through all that work again.

He huffed as he settled back into the pillows, before reaching out with his right hand to adjust the bed. Once he's gotten the bed positioned just as he wanted it a nurse entered his room.

"Afternoon Mr., Lavin. It's good to see you awake and with us again."

"Hello. How long have I been here? And where is "here" for that matter?"

"You're in Bayit BaLev Hospital. You were admitted 2 days ago with a bullet in your shoulder."

"2 days…" Eyal murmured, slightly dismayed.

"You'd lost a lot of blood by the time you got here and we had to operate to remove the bullet. I'm actually impressed that you are conscious as soon as you are."

"Not that I don't appreciate the hospitality, but when can I leave?"

"Let me go find your doctor, Mr. Lavin. You can work that out with him."

All Eyal wanted to do was leave, to go to King Saul Blvd and read whatever intel Saul Berkowitz had managed to dig up for him. Then he wanted to go home, unlock his safe and read all the messages Annie had promised to send him while she was in Northern Africa. He hoped she was back in DC by now and not still on the hunt for Simon Fischer.

"Hello Mr. Lavin. I'm Dr. Dror, I operated on your shoulder."

"When can I get out of here Dr. Dror? I'd like to go home."

"You just had surgery Mr. Lavin, on a shoulder that was injured not 4 months ago. I'd really prefer to keep you for observation for at least 24 more hours."

Just as Eyal started to respond, Rivka Singer entered the room and replied for him, "Mr. Lavin, will, obviously, follow your suggestions, Dr. Dror."

Eyal resigned himself to another day in the hospital and slouched down into the uncomfortable bed beneath him.

"I'll be by to check on you at the end of my rounds today, Mr. Lavin. I'll know then whether you can be discharged in the morning."

"Thank you Dr. Dror." Eyal replied sullenly.

After the doctor departed, Rivka took a seat next to Eyal's bed and started to catch him up on the status of the operation.

"You eliminated Kanaan, Eyal. You stopped a war from starting again over control of the Golan Heights."

"Did the other agents make it out uninjured?"

"Yes, Eyal. You sustained the only injury on the operation. You should really be more careful with that shoulder." Rivka sarcastically replied.

"Good, that's good." Eyal distractedly responded.

"You did good work, Eyal. Though I'm sorry to say that you are on extended leave starting now. You need to get that shoulder in working condition before you come back in. You do your job too well for us to risk losing you because we didn't allow you to recover completely."

"Understood. I'll need to come by King Saul Blvd for some things in my locker after I get discharged tomorrow."

"Only that, get in and get out, Eyal. I mean it."

Rivka stood to leave before turning back to Eyal, handing him his phone. "I thought you might want that." she quipped before walking out of Eyal's hospital room.

The feel of the smartphone in his hands was a relief. Contact with the outside world that he'd been away from for the last 5 weeks, he immediately turned on the phone and dove into his email. Nothing much grabbed his attention until he scrolled to the newest message. It was from Saul.

'Eyal - I have your package. It's in your locker. You owe me BIG for this one.'

That solved one of his problems for tomorrow as he wouldn't put it past Rivka to assign an agent to insure he only went to his locker and then departed King Saul Blvd with no side trips. He was now more unsettled than ever about Annie's mission to find Simon Fischer and could not wait to read through the intel Saul had found for him.

Knowing the quickest way to tomorrow was to sleep, Eyal closed his eyes and focused on settling his racing thoughts.

Eyal sat at the table in his dining room the next day, his laptop and his encrypted phone both sat in front of him unopened. He had yet to determine which he should do first, his heart screamed at him to read Annie's texts while his head screamed to read the intel on Simon Fischer. Eventually his head won out, he knew that he would read and reread Annie's messages over and over if he started there, meaning he'd never actually read the intel he'd requested.

Hours passed as he read through years and years of intel that Mossad had collected on Simon Fischer. His heart sank further into his stomach the closer to current day he got, until it dropped completely as he read the last several entries. They were dated over the last two weeks and the photos showed Fischer in Morocco. Not just with Annie, but surveilling Annie, following Annie. The notes attached to the photos noted that the woman in the photos seemed to be Fischer's latest attempt at developing an American asset. Eyal knew better, Fischer's activities didn't match with developing an asset; they matched to surveilling a known spy from another agency. Annie's cover was completely blown, if it had ever been in place to begin with. Simon had known someone would come after him and he was ready for it. All Eyal could do right now was ponder how.