AN: Happy Friday! As always, I do not own Covert Affairs or any of the characters. Reviews and constructive criticism always welcome!
Dreaming Through Regret
Chapter 11 - Starin' at the Sunset
Melancholy flared in her again as she stared at the blank screen on her encrypted phone. 30 days had passed without a word from Eyal, and Annie's heart ached at the separation more and more with every day that passed. Logically she knew that Eyal's mission would keep him away for at least 4 weeks at the bare minimum; he'd cautioned her to expect it to actually be 5-6 weeks. Not even spending her days reading through files and files of intel provided a lasting distraction from her sadness.
Annie had spent the first two nights after her return in the guesthouse at her sister's home, but she didn't have the energy to put on a smiling face that night. She sat on the small balcony at Eyal's apartment, a glass of red wine in her hand, staring at the sunset as she did her best to clear her head of the chaos her rampant thoughts had created. It was odd being there without Eyal, every memory she had of this place was filled with him.
The sky had turned a dark royal blue before Annie pulled herself out of the chair she was curled into and headed back inside the apartment. She inhaled deeply, able to catch the familiar scent that screamed Eyal, and a small smile crossed her lips. She washed the wine glass she had used and placed it gently back on the shelf she'd taken it from earlier. Noise from the tv she'd turned on as she entered the apartment kept complete silence from surrounding her, and while she was tired, the bed they'd shared was the last place she wanted to be. Instead, she wrapped herself in a blanket and settled down into the sofa to watch familiar scenes from an old episode of M*A*S*H.
The past two days had been harder than she'd expected them to be, filled with debrief after debrief with Joan, Auggie, and Arthur. She'd been surprised to find out that Arthur had already been read into the mission, but took it in stride as best she could. Between meetings with the three higher ups she focused on reading through all the new intel they had available. Her debriefs had covered her time up to the second week in Morocco so far, and while she knew that she should have mentioned Fischer's parting words to her at the beginning, she hadn't mustered the courage to relive them yet.
Auggie had obliquely referenced her skill at building out her cover, but only after he'd questioned where she'd been the first two days away. She'd hedged and just told him she'd holed up to do more research on the plots of land that they were using as leads to Simon. Annie hadn't anticipated Auggie's, admittedly abnormal, level of micromanagement on that front, and it was the only area she'd stumbled to explain. Joan praised her ability to embody a cover as well as she did, it was a skill that most operatives struggled with for years, if not decades. Arthur was impressed by her sheer gumption at pulling off a plan that had her, literally, running right into the person they were trying to find. However, Annie wondered if all the stellar feedback would remain once she told them about how she and Fischer had parted ways.
Annie woke the next morning still curled up on the sofa in Eyal's apartment, her neck screaming in discomfort from the weird position she'd slept in. It took a few minutes to convince her body to move, and it only did so with the promise of a hot shower and coffee. The shower managed to reduce the screaming from her neck to a low grumble and the coffee shook the senses she needed at 100% functionality fully awake. Annie opted for a slightly less sleek look for the day, opting to pair a fitted pencil skirt with one of Eyal's pin striped slim fit button down shirts instead of one of her normal shell tanks. There was no avoiding the Louboutins today though. It was the last day of her debriefs, and Arthur would be sitting in on this one rather than watching the videos of it later.
Before she departed the apartment, she poured the last of the coffee into a travel mug and washed the last of the dishes she'd used. The prior night had been a welcomed respite, but she knew she'd have to return to the guesthouse tonight for a long needed talk with Danielle. Annie hadn't had much time to talk with her sister since Stockholm, work had been keeping her incredibly busy if not actually out of the country, and she wanted to know how Danielle was handling the whole Michael situation.
Traffic had been rougher than normal that morning which meant that she had to jog from the elevator to the OSP office to make it on time.
"Cutting it a little close this morning, Walker." came Auggie's voice as she stepped into the office.
"Traffic was nuts this morning, sorry Auggie. Are we ready to head up to Arthur's office for the last debrief?"
"I'm ready. Are you?" Auggie asked, standing in front of Annie, unseeing eyes boring into hers.
"As I'll ever be." Annie responded, trying to convince both herself and Auggie that the statement wasn't the lie it actually was.
Annie offered Auggie her elbow lead and then headed down the hall to Arthur's office.
Annie talked Joan, Arthur, and Auggie through the last week she'd spent in Morocco. She reviewed the day trips to Casablanca, Rabat, and Agadir a couple times each as there were questions that came up about all three. Was she followed? What did she and Fischer discuss? How long was alone with him? Did she ever feel in danger? Annie answered the questions as well as she could; No, she didn't think they were followed; small talk, what their interests were, what drew both of them into land conservation; hours, typically from sun up to sun down; No, never during the multitude of trips they made.
On the second time through her description Auggie caught the qualifier that Annie had used. "Never DURING their trips".
"Annie, you said that you never felt in danger during your trips. Did you EVER feel in danger even when you weren't on these trips?"
Joan and Arthur's heads both popped up from where they were reviewing the copious notes they'd made on Annie's trip, surprised at the question.
Annie sighed, she had wanted to avoid this if at all possible, but she'd forgotten that Auggie could read tone better than anyone she'd ever met before. "Only once, as we parted ways after the last trip we made; the one to Agadir. All Fischer said was 'I'll be seeing you, Annie Walker', but the way he said it, it threw me off. I was truly afraid, not nervous or anxious, but afraid for the first time in the whole 4 weeks, that I hadn't convinced anyone, let alone Fischer, that I was just an ILCN employee."
"Annie! How could you not mention this at the very beginning?" Joan questioned.
"I thought I was blowing it out of proportion, Joan. That it was just the 4 weeks away, with almost no contact with anyone here, that was getting to me. Fischer wouldn't have let me leave that easily if he thought I wasn't actually an ILCN employee right? He would have just ended me when we were alone at ANY of the land sites we went to. What does he have to gain by just letting me go if he thinks I'm a spy?" Annie rushed through her words, anxiety starting to color them as she spoke.
Joan stood from the table and walked around to Annie and stood firmly in front of her. "Annie, your work is stellar. If I hadn't known that it was a cover you would have convinced even me that you were truly there looking at land for the ILCN. Fischer is a master spy, practically raised on the KGB version of the farm. He's probably so paranoid at this point that he is convinced EVERYONE he encounters is a spy. Breathe."
"What if he knows though? What if he had me followed back here? What if he goes after Danielle and the girls? What if he comes for me?"
At this point Auggie had had enough of all this, "Annie, you are SAFE. You are protected here, and you know that the CIA is watching out for you. There was no sign of you being followed when you arrived back at Dulles." Then facing Joan and Arthur, "Are we good here? I'm going to take Annie for some lunch if so. Then we can reconvene and discuss next steps?"
"Yes, go ahead. I think we have all we need. Be back in 2 hours, Anderson."
Auggie took Annie's elbow and pushed her towards where he knew the door to Arthur's office was. They walked in silence, only the sound was of Annie's heels on the tile floor echoing through the hall. Finally, as the doors to the elevator shut, Auggie turned to face Annie.
"Walker, what the hell was that?"
"Nothing, a momentary breakdown, it won't happen again." Annie said, avoiding meeting Auggie's blank stare.
"That wasn't nothing, Annie. You dodged me at the Lincoln Memorial before you left for Cairo when I asked the same question, you don't get to dodge me now."
"Auggie, can we please not do this now, not here?" Annie pleaded.
Auggie was surprised at the plaintive tone in Annie's voice. "My place tonight?"
"Not tonight, I have to talk with Danielle about her plans with Michael. Can I pick you up for coffee in the morning? We can stop at Windy Run Park and talk before heading to the office."
"I'm holding you to that, Walker."
"Understood, Auggie."
They had lunch in the cafeteria, Auggie filling the space between them with stories about what Parker was up to in Eritrea, his plans to visit her again after the Fischer operation wrapped up, and that he was thinking about traveling back to Glencoe for the Thanksgiving holidays in 3 months. Annie responded as required with nods and questions here and there, but she was distracted by thoughts of her coming talk with Danielle.
"Alright, what is our next move from here?" Arthur asked the 3 other agents in his office.
"Auggie, is the tracker you sent me still working?" Annie asked.
"Seems to be. Last time I checked was this morning, he was in Warsaw."
"How long has he been there, Auggie?" Joan asked.
"I'm not sure, I'd have to pull up the history on the tracker."
"If he hasn't been there long I'd bet that it's just a stop on the way to either Russia or one of the formerly Russian Baltic States." Joan distractedly replied, as she flipped through the files in front of her.
"Why do you say that?" Auggie retorted.
Everyone was surprised when it was Annie who replied, "Fischer has been buying land in those countries whenever he can, Estonia and Latvia specifically, but he has no prior interest or purchases in Poland. Also, Warsaw is a common layover for flights into Russia or former Russian States."
"You've been reading the files." Joan stated, impressed at the younger agent.
"Anything that could possibly help me understand this man is helpful. Though I will say those files are worse than Nietzsche to read."
Joan was relieved that whatever anxiety had overtaken the younger agent earlier no longer seemed to be affecting her. This mission would be one that could define Annie's career, turn her into a star agent at the CIA, and prove that pulling her in was not just about finding Ben Mercer. Joan saw a lot of herself in Annie, and she wanted her to succeed.
Auggie and Annie headed back to the OSP offices to pull up the latest info on Fischer's tracker. It no longer showed him in Poland. They were in luck though; Fischer had headed into the capital city of Estonia, Tallinn, and not into Russia. The two agents agreed to continue monitoring Fischer's location, mostly to make sure that he wasn't just trying to cover his tracks before entering Russia before they planned any next steps.
Annie should have expected her sister to be waiting for her that evening, but she was still surprised when Danielle was waiting for her at the kitchen door. Danielle waved her into the kitchen, not even letting her change her clothes before besetting her with questions.
"Where were you last night? I waited up for you."
"I stayed at Eyal's. I didn't want to intrude on your conversations with Michael again."
"Is he in town?"
"No, he's not here."
"Oh, that's disappointing, we never did get to have dinner with the two of you before you left last time."
"Yeah, work pulled us away sooner than we expected."
"I'll say, you were gone for 4 weeks Annie. And you know you never are intruding, you live here with us."
"I know, but this seems different. You and Michael are trying to work out your marriage, I don't want to get in the way of that."
"You won't, Annie. Though something came up today in our therapy session that I want to talk to you about."
"Danielle, those sessions are for you and Michael, not for me."
"I know Annie, but this could affect you so I want to share it with you."
"Okay Danielle. What is it?"
"Michael and I decided to give it another shot." Danielle blurted out, "I know, I know." she followed up after Annie's eyebrows had soared up to her hairline.
"Um, what happened?" Annie asked.
"Michael was just pleading with me, in that sad little therapy office, and I just looked at him and thought of all the moments we'd had together. And I just realized that that chapter of my life is not over yet. Because I don't want it to be."
"Danielle, is this about the girls?"
"I'm doing it for us, as a family."
"Girls need a happy mom."
"Yeah, and I'll get there, we'll get there as a family… just maybe in California."
"In California?"
"Michael got a job in the Bay Area. The hours are better, so he'll be home so we can work on things. But I haven't agreed to go yet."
"That's amazing."
"You think so?"
"I do. I do"
"I have to decide by tomorrow so Michael can accept or decline the job. I'll let you know whatever happens."
"Okay." Annie replied, tamping down the part of her that wanted to scream at Danielle to not do this. She put the protective sister act on a shelf in her brain, knowing that it would not help anyone in this instance. She was hopeful, still, that her sister would choose against the move.
Auggie was waiting for her outside his apartment building the next morning as she pulled up to take him for coffee. They stopped at their favorite café, she ordered a Vanilla Latte while Auggie ordered an Americano. The drive was spent in silence other than the drive thru ordering, instead they both watched, or listened to in Auggie's case, the scenery go by until Annie pulled into a parking lot at Windy Run Park. They met at the front of the car, and Annie led Auggie down a path to a bench where they both sat sipping their coffees until Auggie finally broke the silence.
"What's going on Walker?"
"Danielle and Michael are getting back together."
"That's good right?"
"I guess, I mean Michael just keeps screwing up and Danielle just keeps on taking him back. I want her to be happy, but I don't think Michael can make her happy."
"Danielle is a big girl Annie, let her make her own decisions. What else is going on? This isn't enough to rattle you as badly as you were yesterday."
Annie was suddenly thankful for the talk she'd had with Danielle the night before. It gave her the perfect out at this moment. Not hearing from Eyal was driving her insane with worry, but she would never tell Auggie that, she knew it would put her relationship with both men at risk.
"Danielle told me that Michael got a job in California."
"Oh, damn. Okay I can see where that would set you off balance."
"She hasn't decided anything yet, but she has to today, so Michael can either accept the job or reject it."
"Annie…" Auggie sighed out, before reaching for her hand. "It's gonna be okay, no matter what Danielle decides. You will get through this."
"Thanks Auggie. For listening today, for not pushing yesterday, for not trying to fix it."
"Anytime, Walker."
With that final comment Auggie stood up and reached for Annie's hand to help her stand as well. It was past time for them to be heading into the office for the day. They had a spy to catch.
The first thing Auggie did after they entered the OSP offices was to pull up the history on Fischer's tracking device. He was still in Estonia, so he and Annie pulled together the beginnings of another encounter with the KGB spy. Annie would head to Estonia, ostensibly to cover for another EMEA ILCN colleague who had just come down with the flu. It was the first time that Auggie had to directly ask Annie about the fiancé she'd added to her cover.
"How do we handle the fiancé angle on this?" Auggie cautiously asked.
"I'll just say that he had a last minute trip come up for an item he just couldn't pass up. And that we plan to meet in London in a week or so."
"I don't think I ever said this plainly but, Annie, your work on your cover was exceptional. The detail you added and the relationships you built out were some of the best I've ever seen from any CIA agent, even the ones who build out NOCs as their jobs."
"Thanks, Auggie."
"I'm also sorry we didn't listen more to you about the seduction aspect of this job. We never should have pushed you to do that if you were truly uncomfortable with it."
"Auggie, until it actually came time to implement, I truly didn't know how I felt about it either. I've never been in that position before, at least not a long term seduction angle like that. I was wary of it for sure, but it wasn't enough for me to ask for a complete overhaul of the mission plans."
Annie ducked her head as she spoke that small lie. She'd known from the moment she heard about Joan and Auggie's plan to have her seduce Fischer that she was never going to be able to execute on it. At least she was able to find another way without sacrificing the mission. Now that she had Eyal in her life, she'd never be able to convincingly seduce another man, her heart wouldn't let her.
"I think this is enough for us to take to Joan and Arthur, they will be able to help us build it out more if needed."
"Lead the way, Auggie." Annie jokingly prodded.
"You and I both know that's not a great idea, Walker." Auggie retorted, before chuckling.
Silence ruled Arthur's office as Annie and Auggie waited for Joan and Arthur to read through the proposal for the next stage of their operation. The proposal detailed where Annie would stay, what her cover story would be, a firm timeline, and included exfiltration plans should they be necessary. The two younger agents were getting more and more antsy as the minutes ticked by and as they watched Joan and Arthur communicate with just glances and facial expressions that neither of them could interpret.
Joan spoke first, "Okay, I'm on board with this proposal. The only thing I want added is that," she turned to face Annie before continuing, "under no circumstance will you follow Fischer into Russia. We have absolutely no recourse to help you should something happen to you inside Russian borders. You'd be completely on your own."
Annie quickly responded with a firm, "Understood. I will not, in any circumstance, follow Fischer into Russia. It's suicide."
"Good. I'm glad you understand the weight of this matter. I know you've curtailed your more reckless tendencies in the last 6 months Annie, but I know you well enough that this had to be expressly and bluntly stated. You are too valuable to the CIA to lose you to the Russians."
Joan then turned to Auggie, "Set her up with all the technology you think will be helpful. We may still be limiting communication, but I'm not sending you in without a communication protocol this time. Not now that we know what we do about Fischer."
Arthur then surprised them with another file of intel. "This file contains three photos. Photos of the three agents we think could be potentially leaking intel to Fischer."
Annie opened the folder, but none of the photos were of anyone she recognized. She flipped to the notes attached and only one of the three names she knew.
"Lena Smith? Joan, isn't she the head of the department I would have been transferred to if I hadn't come to the OSP?"
"Yes, Annie, that's right."
Annie sat back in her chair and let out a deep sigh, "I'm really glad that didn't happen."
"Me too, Anne. Me too."
Arthur piped up again, "Be on the lookout for these three when you're on the ground in Tallinn, Annie. If you come across any of them, abort the plans and use your comm protocols. We do not want to tip our hands if we can prevent it."
"What do I do if we abort?"
"We will determine that once we know which of the three agents you come across. Each has a different MO we'll have to work with."
"Okay."
Quiet settled on the office as Annie memorized the faces of the three agents. A few minutes later she set the file back on the table in front of her, intrinsically knowing that she would not be allowed to take the folder with her.
"I'll go get my flights booked." Annie murmured before standing to leave.
The three remaining agents looked at each other for a moment and shared a look of slight worry before they also stood to leave.
Annie was sitting at the table in the OSP office that had once housed the boxes of intel on all the OSP missions when Auggie returned. He could hear her tapping away on the keyboard, probably booking her flight to Tallinn.
"Annie, you good?"
"Yeah, I'm good. At least about the mission. I'm glad to have a little more of a safety net this time. I'm just anxious about talking to Danielle tonight. I'll know whether I'll be homeless or not in a few hours."
"At least you have your safehouse, just in case."
"Yeah, though I'd rather not have to actually live there for extended periods of time again. Once was enough for me."
"What, too spartan for you?" Auggie quipped back.
"A little. You know me, there just isn't enough closet space there." Annie said as she smiled a real smile for the first time that day.
Tapping was the only sound in the office for the next half hour as both agents worked on preparing for the next stage of their mission. Auggie had just finished setting up the communication protocols and setting up a tech pick up in Tallinn, a locker at the airport, for Annie, as Annie stood up to head out for the day.
"Everything is set up Annie. There is a message board that we will use to communicate with each other. A package will be ready for you to pick up at the airport, in a locker in the main hall. A key will be delivered to you at your gate. Be safe, Walker."
"I will Auggie. Thank you." Annie replied as she leaned in for a quick hug before she headed out the door.
Clothes were spread across the bed in the guesthouse as Annie decided what to bring with her on this trip. She wasn't planning any hikes across parcels of land this time. She was there to finalize a purchase with an ILCN partner, so professional attire was required. Several dresses that were more suited to Joan's style were packed on top of the more Annie style dresses she planned as day-wear. Her favorite Louboutins were added, as if any other pair would suffice, on top of a pair of low heeled shoes and a pair of sneakers. She paused her packing to pull out her encrypted phone, ready to type out another text that would likely remain unanswered.
'Shalom Bayit. I miss you more than I can say, and I hope to see you soon. I leave DC tomorrow to head to Tallinn, where we have tracked my target. The more I learn about this man, the more I wish you were here to make me feel safe. I love you, Eyal."
Annie had just tapped the send button on the text when a knock on the doorframe sounded in the room. Annie turned to see who was there but was not expecting it to be anyone other than who it was.
"Hey, Danielle." Annie greeted her sister.
"Hi." Danielle replied in a tone that let Annie know exactly what her sister had come to say.
"You decided to move to California." Annie stated more than asked.
"Please don't be mad. I'm not ready to close this chapter yet."
"I'm not mad, I'm happy for you Danielle. Truly."
"Really?"
"Really."
"I wanted to be able to give you as much time as I could to find a new place to live, but we already have an offer on the house even though we only listed it this morning."
"Whoa, that is fast. Are you accepting the offer?"
"Yeah, we are. They offered more than the asking price, Annie. We can't walk away from that, not after Michael not having a job all this time."
"No, of course you should accept it. How long do I have to find a new place?"
"A month." Danielle quietly stated.
"I suppose it could be worse. Though, I am heading out from work again tomorrow, I'll be sure to be back before a month passes to get everything out of here."
"Where are you going this time?" Danielle asked, curious as to where her sister was headed to so soon after returning.
"Estonia." Annie replied before standing to finish packing her bag.
"I'll leave you to your packing then. For what it's worth, I'm sorry, Annie. I know I just asked you to move back in and now I'm kinda kicking you out again."
"I get it, Danielle. You didn't expect this to happen and I'm a big girl. I can handle this." Annie smiled at her sister as she headed out the door.
Once Annie heard the door into the main house shut through the cracked open window in the guesthouse her smiling façade crumbled. Her entire world was in shambles in that moment; Danielle was moving far away, work was getting more and more dangerous, and, worst of all, Eyal was still out on his Kiddon mission. The thing she wanted most of all was the least likely to happen… when would Eyal return home?
