A few moments after we were in place, the door opened to reveal a young boy in an elementary school uniform.
"Welcome to the Ouran Host Club." They all said at once. I suppose I would have to get in the habit of saying that too. The boy fell backward in surprise. Poor thing, he probably got lost and certainly didn't expect this.
"Oh, it's just a kid." Hikaru said.
"Not only that, it's just a boy." Kaoru added.
"What's wrong little boy? Did you come to my palace in search of something?" Tamaki asked, fully immersed in his role as the Arabian king.
"Oh dear God." I sighed from behind him, not even slightly surprised by his dramatics.
"Ah… Um… A—Are you the king of this place?" The boy asked, standing up. I heard my friend gasp in surprise before smiling excitedly.
"Here goes the fantasy…" I mumbled, realizing it wasn't going to be long before he was lost to the real world.
"Well are you?" The boy asked again.
"Come closer, little one." Tamaki said, the boy walked toward us, "What was it you just called me little boy?" Oh, don't repeat it. I begged, knowing exactly how he'd react.
"The king." The boy repeated. Tamaki leapt to his feet, flailing about dramatically.
"Ah! The king! Yes! I am the king of the Ouran Host Club! Long live the host king!" He spun around, stars in his eyes.
"We've lost him." I sighed.
"I'm an elementary fifth year, Shiro Takaoji!" The boy exclaimed, pulling Tamaki out of his excitement, "I want the host club king to take me on as an apprentice!" We all stared at the boy in surprise. I looked up at Tamaki to find him blushing. He must have been honored to have such an admirer.
"Yah, he's not coming back from this one." I laughed a bit. It was decided that for such a young apprentice, it might be better for everyone to change back into their uniforms so that Tamaki could be observed using his natural charm. I walked around the room, refilling teacups, and trying my best not to be too nosey. Kyoya was still trying to figure out how I would work as a hostess and be beneficial without discouraging any of the other guests from continuing to come. So, for the time being I was just helping out with this and that. I made the mistake of looking at Tamaki's table to see him holding a girl's face close to his own and speaking softly to her. He moved even closer to her, staring into her eyes and looking like he was about to kiss her.
"Don't you think it's weird he's making the kid observe him up close like that?" Haruhi asked as I moved to stand next to her and Kyoya.
"It's a bit bizarre but it's also Tamaki." I sighed, trying not to sound irritated. This was his life after all. Plus, it didn't really mean anything. I don't know if that man would ever know what true love was. Granted… He never really had good examples to follow growing up.
"There is a theory that people are considered more beautiful the closer they are viewed. Tamaki seems to live by that theory. Well, let's leave them alone." Kyoya explained. Haruhi just responded with a hmm.
"Kyoya, is there anything I can do to help?" I asked, hoping I could do something beside serve tea.
"Just keep up what you're doing." He told me.
"You look more like the carp that swim in my pond! I would never give false compliments like that!" I heard Shiro exclaim, catching my attention.
"A carp!?" the girl cried. I bit my tongue to keep from laughing and watched as Tamaki tried to comfort the girl.
"Don't listen to him! He's just a kid! You know how kids are. They can't help but be honest." He said quickly. She began to cry harder at his failure to help and I had to cover my mouth to hide my laughter. I felt bad for the girl but now I was laughing at Tamaki. He tried so hard all the time to be charming and princely and to see him make a mistake like this cracked me up.
"Honest!" She yelled.
"But that's just his opinion! I wouldn't say you look like a carp, and even if you did look like a carp you'd be the most beautiful carp of them all!" yikes. That was definitely not the right thing to say!"
"So I am a carp!" She bawled.
"Ah… no that's… not what I meant…" Tamaki stuttered unsure of what to say as everyone else stared at him.
"Tamaki! You're an idiot!" the embarrassed girl yelled before running out of the club room.
"Man, what a cry baby." Shiro said with a blank face as I gave up on hiding my laughter. I felt someone grab my arm and drag me toward the pissed off host king.
"That's an adorable little apprentice you've got there!" Hikaru laughed.
"Even Star-chan thinks so!" Kaoru pointed out, shoving me in front of them.
"Lori…" Tamaki pouted.
"Sorry! It was just so funny!" I said between laughs.
"Hikaru," I heard Kaoru say, "Do you wish you had a little brother like Shiro?" I turned to see him staring at his brother sadly. Hikaru moved toward him, pulling his brother close to him.
"Don't be silly, I could search the globe and never find a brother better than you, Kaoru."
"Hikaru…" I heard several girls squeal in excitement.
"Is this appropriate to do in front of a child…?" I asked quietly.
"They're homos! And they're brothers! That makes this totally inceptuous!" the poor boy yelled in shock.
"I think what you meant to say was incestuous." Tamaki said, his arms folded in front of his chest in frustration. As the younger boy turned around Honey appeared and attacked him with a hug.
"Shiro-chan!" the senior exclaimed, "You want to have a piece of cake with me? We've got three kinds! Chocolate, strawberry, and lime!"
"Hey back off! What grade are you in, anyway? Why are you wearing a high school uniform?" Shiro barked. Upon hearing his friend being yelled at, Mori appeared behind the two boys, towering over them like a giant.
"Something wrong, Mitsukuni?" he asked. Crying a bit, Honey leapt onto the taller man's shoulders.
"That's not fair! A little kid like you isn't supposed to have a cool, older friend like him!" Shiro yelled, backing up in surprise, running right into Haruhi who was carrying a tray of tea. Thankfully, nothing was broken and the girl was able to balance everything well on the tray.
"Are you alright?" She asked the boy, "I know, it's kind of hard getting used to all the weirdoes around here. It took me awhile to get adjusted to all the craziness, so don't freak out. I'm sure you'll get used to it." She sounded like a mom. The way she tried to comfort him and the smile she gave him, I'm kind of surprised no one has figured out her real gender yet. "Something wrong?" she asked him when he didn't respond.
"Are you a cross-dresser?" the boy questioned bluntly. Suddenly, Tamaki rushed across the room and placed his large hand over the young boy's eyes.
"Okay! That's enough! I think Shiro should take care of the tea for us, don't you?" He asked.
"Wow Haruhi, you're looking extra manly today!" Kaoru said as the twins gushed over her.
"Now do what the boss says and let Shiro take care of that tea set! It's part of his training! You're too macho for tea sets." Hikaru added before the three of them laughed nervously.
"These boys are so sexist." I sighed as the boy swatted Tamaki's hand away.
"Now be careful with it, it's pretty heavy." Haruhi warned, handing the tray to him. He managed to hold on to it for about a second before he let the tray drop to the ground, shattering all of the fine china it held. The four hosts tensed up as they stared down at the broken glasses and pot.
"It's not my fault I dropped it. It's your fault cause you're the one who made me take it in the first place." Shiro told Haruhi matter of factly.
"Say what?" She asked.
"Haruhi, that's another 100,000 yen." Kyoya told her, writing in his little book.
"HUH!?" she exclaimed in surprise.
"Hey! You should make the cross-dresser do all your stupid chores! Or that girl!" Shiro pointed at me, "I'm not here to carry tea sets I'm here to learn how to make women happy!"
"Little shit. I'll show you who should be carrying a tea set and doing chores." I cursed under my breath.
"You won't get anywhere with that attitude and I am not going to let you disrespect Haruhi and especially not Lori!" Tamaki growled, clearly frustrated, "So! Put this brat in isolation!" I found myself blushing a bit at how protective he was being. Not to mention, I had never really seen Tamaki angry before. I had seen him upset or irritated but not like this. It was kind of hot… I shook the thought from my head. I seriously have to stop thinking about my friend like that.
"You got it boss!" The twins yelled. I jumped in surprise as a cage descended from the ceiling, trapping the young boy inside.
"What's going on here!? Why'd you put me in a cage all of a sudden1?" Shiro screamed.
"Yah, and where'd it come from?" Haruhi asked, "This is supposed to be a music room, right?"
"Is this even legal…?" I questioned as I handed Tamaki a cup of tea and sitting down at the same table. He gave me a quick, grateful, smile as he took the cup. His smile faded at the sound of the young boy leaping onto the bars of the cage.
"This is no way to treat your loyal apprentice! Now let me out of this cage!" Shiro continued yelling as Tamaki sighed.
"Not until you've learned your lesson. I made you my apprentice because I thought you were serious about becoming a host, but I guess I was wrong." My friend said, annoyance still in his voice. He slowly sipped on his tea, uncaring about the child he had put in a cage. Wow. What a keeper. He'll make such a good father one day. I thought sarcastically. I knew I could be impatient but I had never put anyone in a cage before.
"I am serious! Totally serious!" the boy begged as Tamaki sighed once more, "I want you to teach me how to make a woman happy! I'm going to run out of time. Please won't you teach me? You're a host because you like girls. You like bringing a smile to a girl's face. That's why you do it, right? Please won't you teach me to be like you? You're a genius at it! You're the king!" Run out of time? I didn't have long to dwell on his words before Tamaki had leapt up from his seat in excitement. If Shiro was half as good at saying to women wanted to hear as he was at saying what Tamaki wanted to hear, he'd make an excellent host.
"Well, you may be a brat, but I admire your desire to become a host, so I'll teach you." My friend promised.
