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The School of Hard Knocks by Zyzyax
Donna Treat has been sent undercover as a supply teacher. Unfortunately she failed chemistry. This is going to be a disaster. Alex can't stop watching.
Rated: T - English - Crime/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,437 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/17 - Alex R./Cub - Complete
Awful Airplane Rides by Zyzyax reviews
Can you please do something where Alex deals with an airplane hijacking, but he's annoyed at the fact that it was his flight that got hijacked? [This a fanfiction that parodies airline hijackings with a side of satire. Please read at your own discretion.]
Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,118 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 7 - Published: 5/15 - Alex R./Cub, J. Crawley, OC - Complete
The C in Scorpia is For Corruption by Zyzyax reviews
Malagasto gets inspected by the Italian education board for OSHA reasons. How large is the bribe going to have to be?
Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,533 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/13 - Complete
Never too late by Redhood1845 reviews
If you haven’t read @Starsteppers “There’s no place like home” I suggest you go read that before this. This is a two shot based off of that FanFiction. I do not own any characters or Alex Rider. Character limit 5,000.
Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,627 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 5 - Published: 5/12
Framed in Fuencarral-El Pardo by Zyzyax reviews
An electronic remote for the newest supervillian device blows up. Right in front of Alex's salad! He knows that there is no way in hell this guy won't believe it's him.
Rated: T - English - Humor/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,349 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/11 - Alex R./Cub - Complete
Falls by Zyzyax reviews
"Questions surround this week's tragic death of Alex Rider, 14, who plunged to their death from the forty-first floor of the Royal and General Bank today. As the tragic story unfolds, mystery surrounds the decisions..." (A more likely end to the flagpole scene, with Blunt making a massive mess out of the situation). Rated M for Gore. Warning: Major Character Death.
Rated: M - English - Crime/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,443 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/9 - J. Crawley - Complete
A Disruptive Date by Zyzyax
Supervillian blind date where they destroy a city together to see how compatible they are as a couple. Hint: This does not turn out as well as Brendan Chase thought it would.
Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,551 - Published: 5/7 - J. Rothman - Complete
When light returns by ProcrastinationQueen99 reviews
After a hard year with a poor ending, Alex Rider is starting to slow. Retired from 6 and living in foster care, he was starting to loose sight of the light of life. But maybe, all it takes to get back on track is the right people. The right family. Now with new content and (semi) regular updates.
Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 13 - Words: 21,418 - Reviews: 81 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 83 - Updated: 5/6 - Published: 10/5/2015
Just Another Man by Zyzyax reviews
A suit and a clipboard will get you a lot of places no questions asked. And there are accidents that need to be arranged.
Rated: T - English - Crime - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,183 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/5 - Complete
Dungeons and Drag-ins by Zyzyax reviews
Alex goes to a bar and somehow manages to join a D&D adventure group. Fuck this, fuck them, and fuck his life.
Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,326 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/3 - Alex R./Cub, OC
Raucous Rainbow by Zyzyax reviews
Alex accidentally acquired a fifty foot fire breathing snake named "Rainbow" that he set loose in a jungle. Suddenly, Rainbow decides to find him while he's at Malagasto.
Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,272 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/1 - Alex R./Cub - Complete
Pressure Points by an-amalgamation-of-things
Ian gets kidnapped by Scorpia on his way home from work and Dr Three is delighted at the opportunity to torture him.
Rated: T - English - Angst/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,524 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/29 - Alex R./Cub, Ian R., Mrs. T. Jones, Tom H. - Complete
Memorable Messages by Zyzyax reviews
"If you're calling to make death threats, please press 1. If you're calling to threaten my family, please press 2. If you need my address to send a letterbomb, press 3. For anything else, press 4 and leave a message after the tone." Alex has always given out his number to anyone that asks for it - terrorist, criminal, colleague, or random stranger. His life through voicemail.
Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,545 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 5 - Published: 4/29 - Alex R./Cub - Complete
Don't Disturb the Sound of Silence by InfiniteFeather reviews
Collection of one-shots for Febuwhump 2022.
Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 24 - Words: 25,657 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 4/27 - Published: 2/1 - Alex R./Cub, Ian R., Tom H., Yassen G.
Alexander the Confessor by Zyzyax reviews
Alex can make anyone confess to their crimes with a single touch. And once they stop, they just don't stop. They just keep confessing. That's what it means to be a confessor. Doctor Three has no idea what to make of his new student's ability to ruin an agent forever.
Rated: T - English - Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,477 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/27 - Alex R./Cub - Complete
Australian Animal Adoptions by Zyzyax reviews
Alex was told that Australia was a hellhole. He doesn't get it - look at all of these animal friends he made!
Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,384 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 9 - Published: 4/25 - Alex R./Cub, Yassen G., OC - Complete
Back to the Beginning by The Sky At Midnight reviews
Jack Starbright goes back in time, and Alex's future indeed looks brighter.
Rated: K+ - English - Family/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,543 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/24 - Ian R., Jack S. - Complete
Decompressing Dates by Zyzyax reviews
Alex and Sabina finally have the chance to go on a date. Fluff! No explosions! Happy Unicorn Land!
Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,222 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/23 - Alex R./Cub, Sabina P. - Complete
I will never walk alone by LlamaRaffie04
Daniela, soon to be Mrs Harris, is finally meeting her fiancé's best friend. Let's just say he was probably the last person she was expecting to be the best man at her wedding... The first in a series of interconnected one-shots.
Rated: K+ - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,042 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 10 - Published: 4/22 - Alex R./Cub, Tom H., OC
The Pet Pyramid by Zyzyax reviews
Alex is sent to a very, very, snooty boarding school with mandatory pets. He decides to pick the one that looks the most pathetic.
Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,237 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/21 - Alex R./Cub, OC
Alex Rider Drabble Series 3 by Zyzyax
This is a collection of Alex Rider Drabbles based on one word prompts. The body of each work (excluding titles and the endnotes) is exactly 100 words. Each work is titled by the word prompt. Word prompts used: Genius, Flower, Tyrant, Ocean, Alexithymia.
Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 1,178 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/19 - Alex R./Cub, Dr. H. Grief, Yassen G., Zeljan Kurst - Complete
Collaborative Cooperations by Zyzyax reviews
The CIA doesn't have to do many collaborative operations with the home team. Which is probably good - the FBI has this thing called morality, which Joe has always thought is a bit overrated. But here they are asking, yet again, for some assistance. Joe thinks it's time to unleash his secret weapon: Alex Rider. If Alex can't manage to cause so much chaos that the FBI never wants...
Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,424 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 6 - Published: 4/17 - Alex R./Cub - Complete
Presidential Problems by Zyzyax reviews
SCORPIA has to rethink their plan when the American president is fine with a load of kids from some other piddly country over there dying. It's not like they're AMERICAN children, right? Besides, Britain is basically part of Germany or something, if you look at a map. Aren't Germany evil? And they lost a war. What kind of losers lose a war? America has never done that. Pah.
Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,224 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/15 - J. Rothman, OC - Complete
Disastrous Deception by Zyzyax reviews
No one is quite sure who came up with the idea, but it made sense: there would be someone rich enough to pay for you to cause a natural disaster, and if you waited long enough then it was basically inevitable. Easy money. Like taking billions of dollars from a rich man. SCORPIA didn't expect it to go quite this far however - they're being blamed for WHAT now?
Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,315 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/13 - Alex R./Cub - Complete
Charity Cons by Zyzyax
Desmond McCain thought he was being clever by keeping half of the money that people donated to his charities. Those management costs really just.. add up, you know? He is disgusted when his charity is praised for its low management costs by the Times Magazine.
Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,376 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/11
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