Fractured World
Disclaimer: Do not own Victorious or iCarly
A/N:
Chapter 8 (Dinner Thoughts)
An extra piece had been put in the kitchen table to extend it and allow for two more chairs to be placed; similarly to the dining room table where the chairs on each side of the China cabinet were added to make six chairs. This was due to there being twelve people in the household at the time.
In the dining room, Spencer and Carly mentioned wanting to let Tori have some time with the other relatives and opted to stay in the dining room to eat. Meanwhile, Tori was aware they asked Jenny to be there because she asked Ian to sit at that table. She didn't want to come across as clinging to him, and he agreed with her in wanting to respect the need for space and allowing her the time to sit with the relatives she'd not talked to.
In her estimation, Spencer asked Jenny to sit there because Steven and George were sitting at that table too and she figured her dad wanted to ensure Jenny could help him and Carly mediate if George had anymore personal questions for Ian.
At the kitchen table, Tori enjoyed the seat between the back of the table and window. Two small computer chairs had been positioned on each side of her. Jacob rushed to the chair on her right and Sarah took the chair on her left. Lillian sat on the left side of the table, her back to the window, while Mark sat across from her on the right side. John took the head of the table, his back to the counters.
A pot of goulash sat in the center, and everyone was quick to grab a few ladles of the meal. "I made plenty." John smiled as he watched the family fill their plates. Tori's stomach was aching from hunger, but she was nervous about grabbing too much and waited for everyone else to fill their plates first.
While this was happening, her phone vibrated in her pocket. Despite not wanting to be on her phone at the table, she checked it and saw a text from Ian. Raising an eyebrow, she unlocked her phone and read his text. "They're talking to me about applying to Seattle University. I'd consider it if you plan to go there, and I know Sinjin wants to leave California but hasn't settled on where just yet…"
Her breath caught in her throat and her hand moved to her chest. She hadn't given any thought to where she was going to stay. Initially she thought she'd stay with Sinjin and Courtney a while, but of course she wanted to get to know her father.
It felt expected that she might stay with Spencer, and that's what she wanted; but she was anxious. Everything she knew, real or not, was in LA. Jade and Beck were in LA.
She saw a shadow over her phone and looked up to see Sarah leaning a bit. The girl pulled away in an instance. "Sorry," Sarah said in a hushed tone. Tori let out a heavy sigh and pushed her phone into her pocket.
"It's okay. Ian's in the other room, he was just telling me a bit of what they're talking about." She honestly did want to stay with Spencer, if for no other reason besides it felt like that was the right choice. Everything else was just based on her ties to LA, and even those weren't that strong at this point.
Mark turned his head. "Is everything okay?" His eyebrows were curling in the center.
"I guess I'm wondering about my future. It hasn't been decided, and I don't know what I want to do." She looked around the table, watching as John took a bite of his meal. Almost instantly she did the same, smiling as the flavors erupted on her tongue in a savory yet spicy kick. "By the way, this food is amazing."
John grinned, his lips pulling apart. "Thank you!" He set his spoon on the plate and raised an enclosed hand to his mouth as he cleared his throat. "Are you not thinking about moving in with your father?"
"I am, but I'm nervous" She picked up her folded napkin and wiped her mouth. "Ian's here, my best friend is here; and another friend of mine lives here too." Realizing that wasn't entirely accurate, she tilted her head to the right and squinted. "Or when I say 'here', I mean back in LA."
"You have a lot of ties there," Lillian remarked, "It's easy to see how difficult it could be to pull away. Moving is never easy."
"We're in Oregan ourselves," Mark stated as he spooned up more macaroni and sauce, "Portland, to be exact." The man stretched his shoulders upwards and tilted his head a bit. "I couldn't stay in this area after what happened to my sister and parents. I got a job with IBM and the best opportunity I could see, close to my grandparents, was in Portland. That's where we wound up settling."
It sounded like a lot of lives touched by Holly were left with a distaste for California, and she understood that. After all, even Sinjin wanted to get as far away from California as possible; and even without her father living in Washington, she too felt like California had been tainted by the woman.
"You should stay close to your father," Lillian said in a matter-of-fact tune. Tori smiled as the elderly woman stirred her food. "I'm just not ready to leave this house. All our doctors are here and everything."
Mark motioned with his spoon. "That's why we're still in Portland, it's somewhat in between Seattle and Redding. Jenny wanted us to remain close to my grandparents but at the same time we wanted to be close to Spencer in case he needed help with anything."
Sarah laughed. "That's Mom for you, she always wants to help anyone and everyone." Tori smiled at that, happy to know her Aunt was so dedicated to family. "She works far too hard though. The Energizer bunny can keep going, but Mom is getting older, she can't keep it up forever."
"Mom cares for everybody," Jacob replied, "And moms are invincible! If Aunt Sasha can stay alive all these years, Mom can care for everyone fore-" Just then the table jerked a bit and Jacob cried out. "Ow! Sarah, why did you kick me!" Everyone fell silent and Tori glanced down to her food, suddenly feeling a bit anxious. Jacob was young, that much was certain; and likely he didn't know any better.
She saw Sarah glaring at him and heard her hiss. "Because you need to stop talking."
"Mean!"
Mark set his silverware down with a sigh and closed his eyes. "Sarah, we do not kick our siblings at the dinner table." Sarah started to protest but hesitated as Mark turned to Jacob. "Jacob, that wasn't appropriate what you said, either." Jacob frowned and bowed his head, muttering an apology. "I don't want to hear anything like that being said again, okay?"
"Okay Dad."
"Thax
"He just doesn't understand yet," John replied with a calm voice, "I think a lot of us still don't." Tori realized this as well, because she herself didn't understand. She was well aware of the hatred Holly bore and the reason, but she didn't know the whole story and wanted to know more.
"Grandpa John?" He looked to her, his eyebrows rising. "Did Grandpa Mike date anyone before Grandma Amber?" She watched as Mark and Lillian chewed their food but Sarah and Jacob looked towards John with intrigue in their eyes.
John took a deep breath, his forehead appeared to tense as his eyebrows moved towards the bridge of his nose. "I believe so, but it was brief." Tori felt her stomach tighten and she lowered her spoon to her plate. "There was a woman named Emily, he was dating her for a few months but if I recall, he wasn't sure how he felt about her."
"Why wasn't he sure?"
"Something about her family seemed off to him." Tori scooped up more macaroni and slowly raised it towards her lips. "He met Amber and was quite taken with her. I recall him saying how he liked her family and felt more at ease and comfortable with her, that she didn't seem to be as secretive or reclusive."
Fearing where this was heading, she lowered the bite she was about to take and spoke up. "He didn't start dating her right there, did he?" She saw Mark look over from his plate and John shook his head.
"Even if he wanted to, we wouldn't have allowed it at the time. He was conflicted, yes. He came to me asking for advice, saying he felt more comfortable for Amber and didn't know what to do. I asked him how he felt regarding Emily and if he thought he could make things work."
"What did he say?"
"He said he didn't feel secure with her. There were too many unknown variables, including the fact that she didn't appear to want him knowing much about her family. He couldn't trust her. I told him that if he didn't feel like he could continue a relationship with Emily, he needed to end things before he even considered a relationship with anyone else. So he did."
Tori shut her eyes, feeling a slight tinge of pain coming from within. There was no doubt in mind who Emily was: this was the apparent sister of Holly that started it all.
"After maybe two or three months, he started to date Amber." Tori remembered how Jade was in the past, how aggressive she could become when she thought Beck might have eyes for another. "It wasn't long before she became pregnant with Mark, the two married. The last I remember hearing anything about Emily was when they were pregnant with Sasha."
"Oh?"
"At that point, Emily had…taken her life." Tori's heart dropped and she needed no further explanation. This was the perceived slight, the whole reason of Holly's rage and ire. If Mark hadn't been away at college, if Sasha hadn't run away from home at the time, maybe Holly wouldn't have seen an opportunity. Maybe Holly would've hunted Mark first because he was the first child of the couple. Either way, Emily was the catalyst she might never have perceived herself to be.
Hell, just by the explanation John gave of the woman, Emily might never have even dreamed her sister to take up arms in the way she had. The woman may never have wanted it and likely could've tried to stop it if she'd been alive; but that was pure speculation. By the time Mark had been born, the relationship between Michael and Emily had long been over. Given the nature of Holly and her family, there could have been many reasons for Emily to take her own life, Tori had her doubts on whether that failed romance was the sole reason. It was Holly who took that and ran with it, not Emily; and Tori didn't feel it was right to hold Emily responsible for what Holly did.
"Emily was Holly's sister I think," she replied. John's eyes grew wide and Mark's jaw dropped. Sarah and Jacob both looked at her with bewilderment. Tori breathed in slow, shaking her head. "I remember it being said, Holly did what she did because she felt like Amber stole Michael from her sister. She wanted revenge, she wanted to torture my mom for what she perceived Amber doing."
Lillian cupped her hand over her mouth. "Oh my god."
Tori's forehead tensed, her hands closed together. "I won't blame Emily for what Holly did; but I think that's what happened. According to the police, Holly comes from a family that started the gang that became what they are now, so that might explain why Emily was so secretive. I mean, if your family were that bad, would you want someone you were with to know about what they were up to?"
"Probably not," Sarah whispered.
"David tracked us down when I met Spencer. He told us Mom was alive, and that set Spencer off. He said Holly wouldn't let her die, that she wanted to replace her with me…" Sarah reached over, curling a hand gently over hers. Tori looked to her cousin with a heavy heart and tried to smile even slightly.
"I'm sorry you had to endure that," Lillian replied, "Nobody should have to suffer for something their parents or even grandparents did." Lillian paused for a few seconds, took a bite of her food, and then spoke up once more. "I think you should live closer to your father."
John sighed. "You said that already."
"Then I am saying it again." Tori hummed, wondering about the mental state of her great-grandmother. She noticed that there were times the woman was repeating herself or forgetting things, which made her wonder if Lillian were on the earlier stages of dementia. Being eighty years old, it certainly was possible; and if that were the case, Tori wanted to learn as much as she could about them.
"But Seattle is almost ten hours away, how would I learn all I can about you guys? Or even Uncle Mark and Aunt Jenny?"
"We're not going anywhere," John replied, "I do agree with Lillian, however. You deserve to know your father, and you can still connect with us regardless. I'm not as out of touch as it might seem, I know technology has grown vast; so you're still going to be able to communicate with us and your friends regardless of the miles between."
This was true, she had underestimated the importance of social media and technology. Granted, she preferred to be more physical, she knew that time and space prevented being physically present for every person in her life. At that point, it became a matter of priority; and she was placing her growth with her own father as first and foremost.
In that respect, she knew it meant she'd be heading for Seattle. It made her anxious, however, because it meant leaving everyone and everything she knew in LA. Then again, just what were those connections? Even Ian himself said Sinjin was looking to get the hell out of California, and when Courtney got home, that meant she was going with him. Jade and Beck were her only genuine ties to LA, and maybe Trina; but Trina was getting into the witness protection program, so she'd probably never see Trina in person again.
That was it, in her heart and mind the answer was clear. More than anything she wanted to know her Mom and Dad, nor did she want Spencer to be alone, because Carly was still based in Italy.
"I suppose it would make the most sense to be with Spencer. He is my father, and I do want to get to know him more." She was more along the thought process as Sinjin in that there wasn't much tying her to Los Angeles. If Ian could swing it, she knew he'd be able to get into the university in Seattle, so she wasn't worried about that. Trina could be all the way on the other side of the country for all she knew, so essentially, there was no reason she could think of that could keep her in LA.
Regardless of connections themselves, there was nothing in Los Angeles that could help. The Vega house was gone, not that she'd want to be there. The closest of her true relatives were John and Lillian, and they were here in Redding. Once Courtney arrived home, Sinjin planned on taking his sister and fleeing California. The only connection left was Jade, and she had a feeling Jade might tell her similarly: Not to cling to LA just because of her.
"I guess I'll ask Spencer if he would be okay with me moving in with him."
She looked up from her food plate and froze when she saw Spencer standing nearby, at the border of the kitchen and living room. A soft gasp left her lips and she watched nervously as Spencer started to smile. The others followed her gaze to him, no one uttering a word.
"I think I'd be okay with that," he replied in a near casual fashion. He placed the empty plate in his hand into the sink beside him. "I didn't want to pressure you, but I would be more than happy to bring you in. After all, I want to know my daughter just as much."
Her heart skipped a beat and she couldn't help but to grin as excitement coursed through her veins. "Glad to hear it." She cleared her throat as Spencer walked towards the table. "Ian texted me that Grandpa Shay was asking about his college plans…" Spencer started to chuckle, nodding his head.
"Yes, it seems Ian's looking into different universities himself but also wants to see what you're going to do. He's smart enough he can get into almost any college he wants, in this area, but he seems to be waiting on you."
She didn't exactly want anyone to wait on her to make decisions, but at the same time, it was nice to know Ian was willing to wait on her. "I suppose that's what I'll do, then." There really wasn't another option anyhow, nothing that made sense to her. At least this way, she could get to know her father while trying to figure herself out as well.
So quite a bit here as Tori finally has some time with the relatives she's not really talked to yet. At this point things break off a bit from the introduction of family and Tori has some decisions to make. She learns a bit more, deciphers a bit, and we finally learn a little about this mysterious sister of Holly that began all of this. What are your thoughts?
