Fractured World
Disclaimer: Do not own Victorious or iCarly
A/N:
Chapter 11 (New Lease on Life)
Stepping out of the police station and taking a breath felt as though she were breathing new air. Yes, the choice that scared her so much felt right. She wasn't sure how to go about it on paper, but for the sake of trying to look to the future and not cling to the past, she would try.
No longer Tori the victim, she was Lily, the survivor. The girl with a future, whatever that future may be. Born through love but raised among the thorns and thickets, she felt free for the first time in her life.
It still hurt and still had questions, but she was coming to grips with the painful reality that for her entire life, Holly and David hated her. They weren't parents, they'd never been around; it was always Trina. Perhaps as a final act of love or a mutual respect, Trina acknowledged the her by the name she should have had.
Making her way to Carly's car, she thanked Jade for her support. Lily opened the passenger door, wondering how Carly might react to her newfound attempt at moving away from the past and embracing her future.
"How did everything go?" Carly started up the car and Lily looked at her with a gentle smile. The tears coming from her eyes were not those of grief or sorrow, but for the first time relief and happiness.
"It went okay Aunt Carly." Carly froze with her hands on the steering wheel, her eyebrow arched and she turned her head.
"Excuse me?" Lily chuckled softly and Carly started to remove her left hand from the wheel. "What brought that on all of a sudden? Also, I'm only two years older than you. Start calling me Aunt, and I'm going to feel old."
"Sorry, I wanted to see how you would react." Carly raised a hand to her chin, slowly stroking her right cheek with her index finger. "What?"
"Something's different about you. What exactly happened to you in there? Did you get the answers you were looking for?"
"Sort of." She looked down and folded her hands neatly in her lap. "I mean, Trina and I had a good talk, but it's the last talk we're going to have for a very long time." She frowned and closed her eyes. "But I'm starting to accept a realization that she helped me to reach."
"Okay."
"Holly and David, they never cared about me. I know that. It's hard for me to accept, but I'm trying." She raised her head and looked to Carly, who nodded. "I don't want to go by Tori anymore either. That wasn't given to me by my mom and dad." She saw Carly's right eyebrow rise and watched her Aunt slide back into her seat. "Tori was the victim, she was fated to die. The moment she was taken, she-I had no control. I choose to take control of my life, to not hold on to a past I wish I could've had but to try to start a new life with Dad and my real family."
"Well." Carly put her hand on the steering wheel and started to smile. "I can't wait to see the look on Spencer's face." Lily's heart skipped a beat and she pulled her seatbelt over her shoulder. "So this means you're going by your real given name?"
Real, the word thundered in her ears. For so long she thought the life she had was real, only to discover it was fake. Having met her true family, she could distinguish they were real.
"Yes."
"Okay Lily, where to now? The hotel? Ian's place? Sinjin's?"
Redding was going to be a long drive but she wanted to see her father, she wanted to see her family and give them the announcement in person. "Ian's busy with his own family, I want to give him a little space. Sinjin's busy with the CIA right now, so I'm not going to bother him just yet."
The CIA had become involved in the case once the realization of a victim overseas came about. The FBI handled federal matters whereas the CIA dealt with international. They were the ones that would be bringing Courtney home to them.
"Let's go see Dad." She chuckled again, feeling chills on her arms. There was something about referring to him as such that brought a strange calmness to her. She liked it, and she hoped he might as well.
"Okay. Get comfortable, we've got a drive ahead of us." Carly put the car in drive and pressed down gently on the accelerator. "By the way, you ever regret putting your car in the ocean?"
"It would've been lost to me anyway after everything."
"That's true. I guess it was more shared between you and Trina anyway, wasn't it?"
"Yeah." As they began to drive down the street towards the freeway, Lily studied the roads with a heavy sigh. It would be hard to say goodbye to all of this, but it was for the best. She had to think about where home was going to be, because she knew she wasn't going to be hotel-hopping forever. "What's Seattle like?"
"It's nice." She watched Carly's shoulders rise and fall. The girl's focus remained on the road ahead. "I mean it's a downtown area, a major city." Her aunt started to smirk. "We have the best coffee." Lily chuckled, instantly recognizing the Seattle's Best brand.
"Can't describe it much?"
"There's too much to describe." Carly turned her head as they pulled up to a stoplight. "You have to explore, see the city for itself. I mean, it's not Los Angeles, that's for sure." Lily nodded slowly and watched the stoplight while listening to her aunt. "I honestly prefer Seattle to LA. Somehow, it seems less noisy and cluttered."
"Yeah, but you're going back to Italy, aren't you?" She frowned and pulled her gaze away from the stoplight. She worried about not having Carly around but she wasn't going to tell her what to do.
"For another year or so yes." Carly let out a sigh and pressed down on the gas once the stoplight changed to green. "But that doesn't mean I won't be around. Same as your friends here, you have computer access; and I heard through the Grapevine that Ian applied to Seattle University already."
Her heartbeat skipped and she opened her mouth into a smile, just hearing that Ian was making moves to be close to her was like heaven on earth. "I wonder if he was waiting to tell me that himself." Carly chuckled and Lily's eyebrows flattened over her eyes. "He was going to make that a surprise, wasn't he?"
"Freddie and Spencer will tell you, I am horrible with secrets. I think you figured that one out yourself though." Remembering how it didn't take long for Carly to tell Sam she was helping the group, she knew Carly was right. "I think Sinjin's planning a move up there too, so you'll have him and your best friend for life there with you."
This was great news, especially since she'd been worrying over being so far from them. "I know I won't be alone, it's going to be weird to be in a new place without anyone to show me around. I know Sp-Dad will."
"Freddie can show you around too; and once your friends make it up there, you can explore the whole city with them. Also, again, you can always reach out to me."
"Thanks." She smirked. "Aunt Carly." Carly cleared her throat and sighed once more. "To be fair, there are people who have aunts and uncles younger than them."
"I know. It's just going to take some getting used to, Lillian." Lily whistled and closed her eyes, as much as she was trying to make this change and accept a fresh start at a new life, it would take some getting used to as well. "Still, I like it better. You're still getting used to these things too, I can tell; but it'll feel more natural in time."
"Yeah." She pulled her cell phone from her pocket and saw she had a text message from Ian. "Ian wants to know how things went."
"Well give him a call. I'm sure he's hanging on the edge of his seat." They started to get onto the freeway and Lily nodded. "After all, we've got a couple hours."
The rest of the drive went smoothly and Lily was able to recline the seat and close her eyes. The call with Ian had been great, he was happy to hear about the transition she was trying to make and that she was trying to do her best to let go of the past and move on towards the future.
She was thrilled that she'd have his support still. She had even spoken with his parents, who were happy for her as well. Ian had the monumental task of explaining everything to them, which Lily wished she could've been there for, so the fact that they were accepting and understanding meant the world to her.
Once they got off the freeway into the neighborhoods of Redding, she sat upright and looked at Carly. "I've been thinking about something." Carly hummed as they approached a stop sign. "Trina mentioned she tried to stop Courtney from being taken away, but was too late. I hope she doesn't feel too guilty over that, I mean it's hard enough worrying about how Courtney's going to be feeling when she gets home."
"There are probably a lot of things Trina will have to deal with herself all the same as you, I'm sure the feelings of guilt will be there for a while. At the very least, bear in mind that Courtney will be coming home."
"Do you think she's going to be okay?"
"I have been talking with Sinjin." Lily gasped softly and Carly started to smile. "He's spoken with Courtney over the phone. It sounds like she's ready to come home, she's not hurt…the couple she was with actually treated her decently it sounds like."
She raised a hand over her heart and drew in a shaky breath of air. "Oh my god. I hope she doesn't resent me…"
"My understanding is she doesn't hold her kidnapping against you or Ian. Sinjin told me she understands that she knew the risk when she started asking questions. She's a tough cookie, I think she's going to be okay; but I would suggest you and Ian give her a little time to rest when she is brought back."
She understood this and agreed with it, after all, she didn't want to overwhelm Courtney upon her return. "You really think she's not going to be upset with me?"
"Lillian." There was a growl in Carly's throat and Lily understood this to be a sign of annoyance. She still wasn't used to her new name fully either, so hearing the fuller version of her new name was a clear enough sign of annoyance.
"Okay, I'll drop it."
"Sinjin tells me she sounds relieved that you are safe and that she seems eager to see both of you." Lily was happy to hear that at least and excited that she would be getting closer to seeing Courtney again. "Another thing that Sinjin and I were discussing, his moving to the Seattle area."
"Yeah, you said he was wanting to do that." She knew he was planning on leaving California behind to start a life elsewhere but he never quite decided where that was going to be. "I guess he's really decided to settle in Seattle?"
"Well, he was wanting to figure out where you were going to be so that he could relocate for Courtney, he's really thinking about making sure she's got you somewhere close by and vice versa. That's why he's been so busy lately, he's already planning that move."
"What?"
"Yeah, he's been packing and looking at apartments." She raised her eyebrows in surprise. On one hand she was glad for it. Granted, he'd already had all his things packed; it was the whole point of their leaving. "Basically he's getting ready to put the house up for sale."
"Has he already talked about it with Courtney? Does she know what to expect?"
"He says yes. She's ready to get a fresh start too, so it's looking like by the end of the month they're going to be in the Seattle area. I think a little on the outskirts because it'd be cheaper there. Which is good, that means you won't have to travel down here to see Courtney."
She breathed in slowly, looking out her window as they turned onto a one way street. "I almost forgot. I guess with the trial going on, we're not all going to stay here the entire time."
"I'd rather not, and the same with Spencer. Not because of like memories or anything of the sort." They pulled in front of John's home and Lily looked over as Carly turned to her. "But because there could still be danger. Sinjin's along the same lines too." Lily frowned and considered the words, it didn't take much to figure out what danger could be present.
She knew well from her conversation with Trina. "Cat and Robbie? You don't think they'd really come after us, do you?"
"We hope not and we doubt it; but Sam was telling me she was more worried about the prospect that one or both of them might not wind up going to prison." Carly exhaled and reached over, placing a careful hand over Lily's. "To-Lily, those two are pissed, as you can imagine."
"Yeah."
"Sinjin nor Courtney want to remain in Los Angeles with the possibility that the girl who sent her to China would go after her. Spencer and I, frankly the rest of the family, would feel more comfortable not leaving you in Los Angeles if there's even a remote chance of them looking for revenge." Lily sighed and her shoulders started to fall. "And with me leaving back to Italy, I really would feel more at ease myself."
"What about Ian? I mean, when would he even be able to make it…"
"I think when he was talking about it at the dinner table, he was trying to get into the fall semester coming up. So, he'll probably be getting there around the same time as you and Courtney. Be patient, things will fall into place."
"I hope so." She just hadn't anticipated the move would be much sooner. Still, it was probably for the best, especially if there was even a remote possibility someone in California would seek after any of them. After all, this was Holly's base of operation. The organization was crumbling and all the powerful people involved that remained were based in California. "It would be safer. I think I'll be okay with it."
A new name, a new family, a new city and a new lease on life. It was a lot and she still had to figure out just who she was going to be. Lily the survivor was one part of this identity she was figuring out; now just where could she go from here?
"So, before we go in there, have you given any thoughts to college?"
"I don't know. I know Ian plans on majoring in biology or something, that's always been his thing. I used to love science too but I'm not sure what exactly I want anymore."
"Well don't rush it, okay? You're perfectly fine doing what you're doing now. You don't have to figure out your whole life in a minute, okay?" She smiled back at Carly and slowly opened the car door.
As she exited, she saw Spencer walking out of the house. With a smile, she walked up the steps and looked back as Carly was making her way around the car. "How did everything go?" Spencer asked as she approached him.
"It went alright, Dad." Spencer froze, his eyes started to enlarge and his mouth fell open. Behind her, she heard Carly laugh in what almost sounded like a triumphant one. She wrapped her arms around her father, giving him a quick hug. "I'm going to try my best to move on, to adjust to everything. That's what Trina wanted for me, and that's what I want."
He carefully moved his arms around her, bringing her warmth and comfort in this fatherly embrace. "I would like to see that as well." She looked up to him with a smile.
"Also, I'm saying goodbye to Tori, to Victoria." He raised his eyebrows. "I'm going to try and get used to it, but I've decided to start going by Lily." She watched his smile grow and saw a flicker of pride in his eyes. "Also, you're my father and while it's still an adjustment, I want to refer to you as such." She hesitated for a moment and furrowed her brow. "Although, I'm guessing when we're in public we'll get some funny looks."
"Eh, who cares what strangers think, you are my daughter. I was prepared eighteen years ago for people thinking we might be siblings or whatever, there are plenty of parents who look young enough on their own so I don't care. I'm just happy and lucky to have my kid back in my life."
"You two have a long road ahead of you," Carly said as she walked past them. "Now she's taken to calling me 'aunt', so it's an adjustment for all of us. Still, never lose sight on today or tomorrow. Even when things get hard, you have each other and that's a lot."
"When are we going to go to Seattle?" She stepped back from her father and watched as he raised his hand beneath his chin, his forehead creased and he started to hum.
"When would you want to?"
"I don't know. Carly said apparently Sinjin and Courtney will be in Washington by the end of the month, so…" He dropped his hands and moved them behind his back.
"Would you be okay leaving so soon?"
"I feel like that's the right thing to do. I don't want to be hopping around between people like I've been. I want to settle somewhere." He nodded and let out a swift exhale.
"Okay, well whenever you tell me you're ready to go, I can arrange to be on the next plane out. If you have anything left you want to do here, I'd say go ahead and do it. I know with the trial ongoing, we'd probably be back anyway; but I'd rather you have a chance to settle and get used to having a place to call home in the meantime."
She smiled openly and raised her head up a bit. "Yeah, that sounds great."
Thoughts
