The studio was very accommodating and there was something about it that immediately put Shion at ease. Although she would only need to borrow a music stand in the future when she learned new pieces, the room also provided extra amps for guitarists or bassists, a microphone, a grand piano and a full drum kit. Nana or Nobu would probably have a field day if they were here.

The studio door itself had a small glass window which wasn't ideal but she had faith in the soundproofed walls. As long as she had her back to the door she'd be able to totally focus without fear of being seen or heard.

"I guess I should just… play." She placed her violin case carefully down on the floor and unzipped it slowly, inhaling as she did. Her violin was revealed - still as glossy as the day her father had given it to her. This had been one of her mother's violins - her favourite one, in fact. It was worth more than anything she had ever owned combined but she would never sell it. Her stepmother had gotten her father to put most remnants of her mother away in boxes or had them sold altogether.

This was the only thing that she had. All photos of her were gone and had Shion not seen them before her stepmother came into the picture she doubted she would even know what her mother looked like; she'd died due to complications in giving birth.

In a way, Shion had given all of her current misfortune to herself. Had her mother still been alive, her father never would have remarried. Shion's struggles were just the consequences of being born, and stealing away her mother's life.

She quickly wiped her eyes and grabbed her bow, tightening the horsehair until there was just a slight curve in the wood. With her shoulder rest on too, she lifted the instrument up and the cool wood chilled her chin. Taking a deep breath, she began to play the same melody she had before.

Kojou no Tsuki.

Flowery feast in spring high up in the castle

Cups of sake were passed around

Lit by the moonlight through the old pine branches

Where is that old moonlight now?

Encampment in autumn was white covered with frost

A number of geese honked as they flew across the sky

The moonlight shined on the swords thrusted upright into the ground

Where is that old moonlight now?

Now at midnight the moon is right above

For whom does it shine like in the past?

Nothing remains on the rampart but some ivy

Nothing to hear but the rustle of pine branches in the storm

Up in the sky the moon and the stars remain unchanged

But in the earthly life, rises and falls come and go

Does the moon hang there to reflect those changes?

Ah! the midnight moon over the ruined castle

Over and over she repeated the song and each time her sound deteriorated - hammered by her unconfidence and uncertainty. All she could hear was how notes should have sounded; how her vibrato should have played into it; how much better she should be playing.

"I can't do this anymore." Her arm ached and her fingertips were numb, half from the coldness of the room and half from pressing so hard on the strings. The emotional playing from the other day had vanished, leaving behind an unrefined mess in its place.

It really was a joke to think she could have gone to the same school as her mother. The thought made her vision blurry with tears.

"I'm sorry, Okaa-san." She whispered. "I'm sorry you gave your life for such a failure like me."

With that she quietly packed up her things and left.

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

Only Nobu was home when she returned and he was gently strumming Nana's unplugged guitar, eyes closed as though he was deep in thought. When Shion entered her mind was still reeling and it must have shown on her face because Nobu stopped what he was doing and regarded her with concern.

"Are you okay, Shion?" She could hear the kindness in his voice and she felt tears well up again.

"I'm… fine," she said, wiping her eyes with her sleeve and heading straight for her room. "Just tired."

Without another word she slipped inside her room and shut the door, falling against it and sliding to the floor with a bump.

All her anxieties were bubbling beneath her skin again. The chaos was rising to the surface and she buried her head in her hands, trying to keep her breathing under control quietly. The last thing she wanted was for Nobu to hear her lose control.

"Breathe." She commanded herself, already feeling winded. "Just. Breathe."

Why was she on this earth? Why had her mother died? Why was she all alone?

"I am breathing," she said firmly. "I'm not thinking about anything bad."

All alone.

All alone.

Your father left you.

Nobody wants you.

"Damn it! I'm fine!" Shion pinched her wrist hard and counted to ten, focusing on the uncomfortable sensation. Tears poured down her face and she couldn't help but remember Nobu's kind concern.

It only made her feel worse and before she knew it she was sobbing, keeping herself quiet except for the odd sniffle or sob that would escape. Hopefully Nobu was too busy with the guitar to notice.

She stayed there for what felt like hours and when the orange glow of sunset poured through her window she heard one of her housemates return.

"Ah, Nana." She heard Nobu say quietly. The rest of what he said was a hushed whisper that she couldn't quite make out but she soon heard heavy footsteps of Nana's combat boots heading towards her door.

Sure enough there was a knock.

"Shion? Everything okay in there?" Nana said.

Shion quickly cleared her throat, praying that it didn't betray her.

"Yeah, everything's fine." Her voice wobbled. Please don't notice. She prayed silently.

"Can you open the door for a sec then?"

Her eyes were red and puffy, she didn't need a mirror to know that. There were no excuses Shion could think of quickly enough to ignore Nana's request. So she wiped her face and opened the door.

"You look terrible." Nana said, not unkindly.

Shion stood there in silence. Nana threw her arm around Shion's shoulder and quickly shot her an easy grin. "Well, if you eat something you'll feel better. Go sit down. Nobu will keep you entertained while I fix you something."

There was no point in protesting as it was clear Nana wasn't going to just let her be miserable in her room so she nodded and let Nana push her into a seat at the table opposite from Nobu.

He seemed unsure of what to say and she didn't have anything either. An awkward silence threatened them until eventually Nobu spoke up.

"That was an instrument case you had before, right? I thought you said you didn't play anything."

Shion stared at the table, avoiding his eyes. "Well, I don't play anything you could use in a band. A violin won't do anything that a guitar can't do better." She'd heard of some rock bands who used electric violins but they were exceptionally rare.

"Still, playing violin is cool. Do you enjoy playing?"

The question made her lift her head and meet his eyes. No one had ever asked her that before. Even at school they'd ask things like how long since she'd started, had she won competitions, or if the violin was as difficult as it seemed to play. Of course there was nothing wrong with those questions at all, but there was something about being asked if she enjoyed playing that made her feel at ease with the anxiety she'd been battling.

"I love playing." She said with a small smile. "I love it more than anything in the world."

Nobu immediately returned her smile and any awkwardness between them melted away as well.

"That's the same for me and the guitar," he said. "As long as I have music, everything will fall into place."

The sentiment played on a loop in her head. "But… you're an excellent guitar player. I don't think my abilities can keep me afloat like yours can." How she'd played in the studio came back to haunt her but she pushed it away firmly.

"Maybe. Or maybe you're a great player too. We're our own harshest critics. The best we can do is continue to work at it, to constantly try to improve ourselves. You just need to give it time."

"Listen to this guy, talking like an old man." Nana swatted his head as she placed a small plate of onigiri on the table and he laughed sheepishly.

"Eat up, Shion." Nana told her. "You'll feel better with a full stomach."

She took one of the rice balls and took a small bite, self-conscious of the two pairs of eyes watching her. Then after she swallowed and took another, bigger bite Nana started to talk.

"So Hachi called me earlier to say she's bringing someone round tonight who's interested in being our bassist."

Nobu's face lit up. "Really? That was quick - Hachi's amazing!"

Nana watched him with a smirk. "Her boyfriend thinks so too."

Nobu blushed. "I didn't mean it like that. It's just she only put out those posters today, right? It's amazing that we've found a bassist already."

"Maybe." Nana said. "I wanna meet them first." She glanced at Shion.

"They'll be arriving in an hour or so - you're welcome to hang out with us when they come though Shion. Don't feel like you have to stay in your room if you don't want to."

Shion shook her head with an apologetic smile. "It's fine. I'll probably turn in early after I get some fresh air tonight."

"You're going out?" Nana said. "It's getting pretty late."

"Just for twenty minutes or so. I need to think about some stuff." With that she finished the rest of her snack and got to her feet, heading to the door. "See you later."

"Be careful out there." Nana replied.

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

The sunset was slowly melting into the darkness of night by the time Shion had walked down to the end of the road that ran alongside the river. The chill of the night air clung to her cheeks stubbornly and she now regretted not bringing a coat to wear. She felt much calmer than before thanks to Nana and Nobu. It had only been her first official practice earlier on and talking to Nobu helped to remind her she just needed to give herself time to get back into her previous flow, no matter how frustrating that might be at first.

Around the corner was a convenience shop located next to a small playground. At first the thought of a hot drink was very appealing but when her hands delved inside her pockets for her wallet she remembered it was most likely still in her bedroom.

Damn it. Well, no hot chocolate then. Instead she made her way over to the playground and plonked herself into one of the swings, the chain making her fingers numb. When she was a little girl her father would push her higher and higher and then she would sing happily, with not a care in the world about who heard her.

The song Nobu and Nana had performed in the apartment came to her mind and she hummed it quietly under her breath. The next time she went to the studio she would try and play it herself. There was a tiny piece of her that wanted the people she had met so far to hear her play, so they could share their love for music together. Whether or not she'd actually be able to do that remained a mystery, but at least now she knew what she had to do.

"Hey there." She froze and her eyes shot up to see a group of three young men staring at her hungrily.

Oh no.

Shion nodded at them silently and got to her feet to walk away but someone grabbed her elbow, preventing her from walking away. "Hold up a moment - we just want to chat. It's dangerous to go around alone at night you know - especially a young lady like yourself." The man who held her arm smiled at her but she had to suppress a whimper. Mostly she got away with being invisible so she'd never imagined that a situation such as this would befall her.

Big mistake.

"Why don't you hang out with us for a while?" He said, his grip tightening. "We make great company, I promise."

"I…" Her voice was caught in her throat thanks to her anxiety. "I… can't…"

He grinned at her. "You're cute when you're nervous." Tugging her closer he bent down until his mouth was hovering over her ear, and despite her struggle he held her firmly.

"I'd like to see your other expressions." Shion's legs almost caved in. No one knew where she was, and she certainly wasn't strong enough to get away. If only someone from the convenience store would come outside and see, or maybe Hachi and her bassist candidate who were due to come around soon.

"Please…" she begged. "Let… me go."

The other two men behind him sniggered but the man holding her just raised his other hand to her face; pressing it against her cheek despite her desperate squirming to get free.

"So cold," he murmured. "I can fix that, you know."

Shion choked on a sob. Just as she'd begun to lose all hope, there was an angry outburst from behind her.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

The man snarled. "Back off pal - you're outnumbered here." He pulled Shion towards him roughly and she was taken off guard, effectively rolling her ankle in the process. She hissed in pain but thanks to that she was able to see her rescuer.

Nobu.

"I'd get out of here if I were you," Nobu said. "Or would you like to wait until the police get here? Not that it matters much since the security footage from the convenience store will have captured this whole incident anyway."

The man swore and pushed Shion to the ground, already backing away. "Whatever. This tramp isn't worth the trouble."

She landed awkwardly, shooting another wave of pain through her ankle. Nobu hurried to help her.

"Are you okay?" He asked her, brown eyes searching her face.

Shion didn't really know herself. It had ended so quickly. "Thank you," she said instead.

She attempted to get to her feet but wasn't very successful. Nobu caught her before she hit the ground again and apologised afterwards.

"Sorry, I don't mean to make you uncomfortable but… I think you need to go to the hospital. I can help you get there - we can call a taxi; I just need to make sure Nana knows where we are first."

Contacting Nana proved to be a trial in of itself. She didn't possess a mobile phone and since Hachi hadn't arrived and Nobu didn't have her number yet anyway, they had no way of letting them know until:

"I'll text Yasu. He can try to figure something out."

"We could just go home." Shion said. "This isn't a big deal."

Nobu brushed off her idea. "You can't walk at all and I'm not letting you go back home until you've gotten some help."

He encouraged her to put her arm over his neck and he apologised again before supporting her waist so she could hobble over to the convenience store. Nobu called a taxi and they waited for fifteen minutes.

After he'd helped her inside the car she asked what had been on her mind the entire time.

"Why weren't you at home with Nana?"

"Oh that?" He rubbed the back of his neck. "Nana asked me to get some more beer from the shop. It was lucky she did - those guys were real scumbags."

They were quiet for the rest of the ride, and Shion chose not to bring up that Nana had only just bought a new pack of beer when she'd come home that evening.

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

It was a sprained ankle and they'd put Shion in a walking boot for the next six weeks which was awkward and heavy, but at the very least she could stand without Nobu's assistance thanks to her crutches.

He was sitting in the waiting room when she hobbled out to meet him. At the sight of her walking he seemed to relax and he flashed her a relieved smile.

"Everything okay?" She nodded and then he brought up something else. Shion appreciated the focus changing away from her silly injury.

"The others are at some studio close to your apartment - Hachi and the bassist arrived while we were here and Nana wanted to hear them play first. I can take you home."

Shion could sense that he probably wanted to see the bassist play too and she filled with guilt.

"You can always leave me and go find them," she told him. "I can take a bus or something."

"No way," he said. "Do you know how late it is? Nothing's running anymore. Yasu said he'd pick us up outside, let's go."

"Then can't we just ask Yasu to take us to the studio instead?"

"And what about getting back?" He pointed out. "You really shouldn't be walking around when you don't need to."

"But…" she kept trying. "I just… don't want you to be left out because of me."

There, she'd said it. Shion had expected him to be annoyed at the fuss she was making but instead Nobu just smiled.

"Thank you for worrying about me. It's okay. I trust Nana will make a good decision and then we can play all together later." His reassurance swayed her heart just a little.

"If you're really okay with it…"

He grinned. "I am! So let's go home, 'kay?"

"Kay."

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•