I'm back! I'm glad you guys seemed excited by this story. I am too, to be honest.
Anyway, I don't have much to say in my author's notes, but I do want to say that like books I've read with similar concepts to this fic, I want to start each chapter with a postcard written by that chapter's narrator. I thought it would be a nice touch. Plus, if you somehow miss the heading and don't know who's narrating, it'll be in the postcard.
Okay, with that out of the way, I'll shut up and let you read. I hope you enjoy! :)
Chapter 1- The Big Day
Sarge's POV
Dear Sheriff, Lizzie and Red,
It looks as though we've got some time to kill before our flight, so I thought I'd write a postcard.
For the record, if the rest of this trip pans out like our time at the airport, then this could be a long two weeks. I must've been out of my mind when I decided to go on vacation with these clowns!
Wish you were here. Instead of me.
Sarge
"Remember", I called to my friends, "it's very important that we stick together. I have your passports and I don't want to-"
"Fudgie! Come back here!" Luigi cried, chasing after his daughter, who was far too excited.
"Hey, buddy!" Mater shouted to McQueen. "What would our country be called if every car was painted pink?! A pink carnation! Get it? Car and nation!"
"I'm so excited for this, baby", I heard Ramone tell Flo in a low voice. "Two whole weeks at a tropical resort. It's gonna be so romantic!"
"Fudge!" Luigi called again.
"What's our flight number?" was her only response.
I heard Guido shout something in Italian. I thought it was something to get Fudge under control, but no. He was struggling with several bags larger than he was and almost got lost in a mountain of luggage.
I sighed. No one was even listening to me. A family with seven or eight loud, energetic kids came past and even those parents looked like they were having an easier time than I was. Sometimes, I wonder how this group would survive without me.
"Fudge, if you will listen to me, you'll find out what our flight number is", I informed her. "Luigi, control your daughter. Mater, zip it!" I called to the tow truck, who was still laughing and telling jokes at the top of his lungs. "Guido, you can put the bags down for a sec! We'll all carry them over to check them once I've gone over the plan. Hey, lovebirds!" I waved a tyre at Flo and Ramone. "Think you can take your eyes away from each other for five seconds while I talk?!"
"Yes, sir", Ramone replied, rolling his eyes.
Then I looked around. "Where the hell has Fillmore gone?!"
I had a feeling everyone at the airport was learning my friends' names fast.
"I'm here, man!" Fillmore was only just coming through the automatic doors at the entrance to the airport.
"What took you so long?!" I demanded. "You left at the same time as everyone else." I knew he had; I made sure of that. Not only to keep everyone organised, but to avoid any more drama. When we left town, Red, as usual, burst into tears. I didn't want to go through that a second time.
"Sorry, man!" he apologised breathlessly. "I went back 'cause I thought I forgot my passport. Then I remembered you had it and then I just stopped to look at the flowers outside. They're beautiful, man! They even got cactus! Some tourists will get their first taste of Arizona right outside with th-"
"I don't care about the cactus!" I interrupted him. "I'm just trying to get us- all of us- to the Freewheeler Islands in one piece! Now, let's all go and check ourselves and our baggage in. Then, we'll see about dinner." I looked down at our flight information. "American Skyways, Flight A113 to Miami." Since the airport in the Freewheeler Islands was quite small, we couldn't get a direct flight.
"You couldn't have gotten in line before?" Fillmore questioned.
"What? And check you in while you were busy smelling the roses?!" I retorted. "Not a chance! You might have ended up missing the flight altogether!"
Fillmore shrugged good-naturedly. "I would've had plenty of time, man. They're always late."
I really wasn't in the mood for arguing, so I just waved a tyre towards the check-in line. "Get in line in an orderly fashion. And try to stick together."
So, they went, but their comments didn't escape my attention.
"Anyone else feel like we're on a kindergarten field trip?" McQueen quizzed the others.
"Yeah, I thought we were going on vacation, not to boot camp!" Ramone added.
I ignored them. They'd thank me later when we all got there. (If it weren't for me, I know one person in particular might end up in Australia instead of the Freewheeler Islands and not even notice.)
We made it through the check-in. Just barely. First, Fudge tried to open her bag and search through it thoroughly one more time.
"I just feel like I'm forgetting something!" she cried.
"Fudge, we go over this every time we travel", Luigi reminded her calmly. "You always feel like you are forgetting something, so you check many times and it is always nothing."
Luckily, he managed to get Fudge to part ways with her bag, but the drama wasn't over yet. It turned out Mater's bag was too heavy. It took four of us to lug it onto the conveyor belt and it was going to cost extra money to check it.
"It's not the end of the world, Sarge", McQueen told me once he'd paid for that. "I think you're forgetting how much money I have."
"That's beside the point", I muttered. "Good Ford! What's even in that bag, anyway? Bricks?"
Mater shrugged. "It's the stuff I need!"
Before we could get into an argument about the luggage (or I could ask Mater what in Chrysler's name he meant by that), Luigi's voice came from up ahead of me.
"Fudge, where are you going?!"
"I thought we were having dinner", she replied. For a human- especially one who needed to use crutches to help her walk a few years ago- that kid moved fast.
"I think Fudge is getting hungry", Sally commented with a smile. She was the only well-behaved one, I thought.
"Let's go!" I announced, since I was getting hungry myself.
"Who made you boss of this vacation?" Lightning wondered incredulously.
I shrugged. "Someone has to take charge."
"Why?!" he demanded.
"It's a vacation, not a boot camp!" Ramone insisted again.
But they went.
By the time we made it to our gate, we discovered that our flight was delayed. That was fine with me. I was exhausted and not in the mood to go anywhere just yet. Why? Because early on, it became clear that my friends and I couldn't go anywhere in this airport without one of us turning it into a major production.
First of all, there were fans that followed us everywhere, fawning over Lightning McQueen. That wasn't their fault, I know, but McQueen didn't exactly help. He just kept encouraging them.
"What was I supposed to do?!" he snapped at me later. "Tell them to go away?!"
"Yes!" I told him. "In politer terms, but yes."
It wasn't just the fans, though. In fact, they were only a small amount of the problem. Most of it was the fact that I was travelling with a bunch of clowns. Mater, McQueen and Fudge shouting their vacation plans and laughing loudly at stupid jokes inside the small restaurant where we had dinner was embarrassing enough, but when Fudge laughed so hard, she spat out her orange juice, narrowly missing our waiter, I was desperate to get out of there. So, I announced that we'd better hurry if we wanted to get to the gate on time.
"Sergeant Killjoy!" I heard Ramone mutter.
I ignored him.
Unfortunately, it was downhill from there. While we were waiting to go through security, Mater thought it would be funny to pretend to be some kind of secret agent. I was the only one with him at the time (we got separated from the others by dozens of people excited to see a celebrity at the airport), so he got himself- and me- detained!
It took half an hour to clear everything up to security and by then, I was sure we were going to miss our flight (but at that point, I wouldn't have cared if we did). However, getting to the gate drama-free was evidently too much to ask. We had to go up the escalator to get to our gate and Flo and Ramone were too busy kissing each other to notice that the escalator was coming to an end. They nearly caused an avalanche of people!
Before I could even say anything to them about that, I noticed that we'd lost Fillmore again! I spent nearly ten minutes looking for him before he made his way up the escalator. Our flight was scheduled to leave at any minute, but the hippie didn't appear to be in any hurry whatsoever. He never did. Life may be long, like he always says, but my patience is not. I felt like I was in a comedy, only I wasn't laughing.
"I'm sorry!" he apologised, seeing how angry I was. "I just thought I'd try to find some food for the plane. What if I don't like their vegan option?"
Then that would make two of us, I thought. "Well, if you don't move it, you won't even get on the plane! We're probably not gonna make it now!"
"We will, man", he assured me casually. "They're always late."
Finally- finally!- I made it to the gate. A sign for Gate Seventeen illuminated ahead of me. Out of the large floor to ceiling window, there were lots of bright lights as planes took off and came in to land. Ours was probably about to leave. I picked up the pace. Luckily, Fillmore did too.
But I knew something was wrong when I saw people still parked/sat at the gate. Wouldn't you know it? Our flight was delayed! Fillmore gave me a smirk that clearly said, I told you so, but I wasn't in the mood for that.
The others had all scattered and I could only see a few of them. Fillmore and I managed to park by Luigi, who had Fudge fast asleep on his hood. Part of me hoped everyone else would fall asleep as well. I sighed heavily. We hadn't even gotten on the plane yet and already, I was regretting coming on this vacation.
"Where's everyone else?" I quizzed Luigi.
"McQueen, Sally and Mater went into the store", he explained, waving a tyre at a store near our gate. "Guido has gone to the bathroom and Flo and Ramone are over there." He waved a tyre in the opposite direction and there they were, lips locked. "It is quite crowded and we could not all find seats together." He smiled softly at Fudge. "I think she wore herself out. She was so excited."
I couldn't help smiling for the first time that day. Much as I thought Fudge's hyperactivity would be the death of me, it was good to see her spirits up after everything she'd been through in the past three years. Fudge can be a real pain in the bumper sometimes, but she's basically a good kid and it was hard to watch her go through such a tough time.
Though, my smile was quick to disappear when she woke up and rolled right off Luigi's hood, face planting on the floor. Now, everyone was staring at us. You'd think that after all the time she's spent sleeping on cars' hoods, she'd learn not to do that!
When McQueen, Sally and Mater returned from the store, I asked for one of the postcards they'd stocked up on and written that postcard to Sheriff, Red and Lizzie. I wasn't exaggerating either. I really thought I was out of my mind.
Just as I was finishing up my postcard, I heard the others talking and noticed them getting up and heading towards one of the windows.
"C'mon, Sarge!" McQueen waved me over.
That was when I saw Guido setting up his camera and I shook my hood firmly. "Pass."
"C'mon, man!" Fillmore called. "It'll be a memory."
"That's what I'm afraid of", I muttered. Knowing that they wouldn't let up, I joined them.
For the first time since we got to the airport, we managed to stay together for ten seconds as the camera clicked and flashed. All ten of us gathered around to peer at the screen. The photo was actually quite nice. Even I managed a smile and we all looked excited to be heading on vacation. If only I felt that way.
As Guido put his camera away, I heard some high-pitched chimes come from over the PA system
"Attention, ladies and gentlemen", a clear female voice announced, "American Skyways Flight A113 to Miami is now boarding at Gate Seventeen. Repeat, American Skyways Flight A113 to Miami now boarding at Gate Seventeen. Thank you." Then more chimes sounded.
"Flight A113 to Miami", I repeated. "That's us."
"We know", Ramone assured me, sounding irritated.
Mater blinked in confusion. "But I thought we was goin' to the Freewheeler Islands."
I rolled my eyes. "Weren't you listening?!" I demanded. "We're flying to Miami first. And then we'll get on a plane to the Freewheeler Islands. Now, are any of you planning on getting in line?!"
"Well, I thought we all had to hold tyres", McQueen mocked.
I glared at him. "Let's move it!"
By some miracle, we all managed to keep together as we boarded the plane. For a while, I thought maybe I was overreacting earlier and this could be a nice vacation.
I was quick to change my mind when we got on the plane. First, we had to drive through the section of the plane where they seated humans (yes, cars and humans are separated on planes; not for discriminatory purposes, but to accommodate for the physical differences between the two species; cars need longer seats and humans need higher ones) and drop Fudge off there.
"Are you going to be okay?" Luigi quizzed her worriedly for about the twelfth time. The rest of us had already made it to our seats and were discussing who got the window or the aisle and whatnot while Luigi had completely blocked the traffic. A long line of cars and a few humans looked very annoyed with him.
"I'll be fine!" she insisted. "This ain't my first time on a plane."
"Don't get off the plane without us when we land!" Luigi instructed her. "I will be sitting in the first row of the section behind you! Just here!" He pointed. "Come and find me when we land or if you need me."
"She won't need you!" I informed him impatiently, driving up to him. "And in case you haven't noticed, there's a line of people behind us, who want to get to their seats!"
Even so, I actually had to drag him away from Fudge, but he kept calling instructions to her. So, a flight attendant (a blonde woman with a name tag that read: NANCY) had to point out that there were others trying to get to their seats as well. She made an effort to sound polite and patient, but it was clear that she felt like being anything but.
"You coddle that girl too much", I told Luigi drily as I put his bag in the overhead locker, so he could just get in his seat. "No wonder she acts so young for her age."
"And only now, you realise?" Ramone teased from the row behind me. "This is the guy who made Fudge go around Radiator Springs on a leash!"
"He did?" McQueen asked in surprise from across the aisle.
"Before you showed up, he did", Sally confirmed.
"Wow!" McQueen laughed. "That seems extremely overprotective, even for Luigi!"
"A small town with one road and no traffic whatsoever!" Ramone went on, shaking his hood in amusement. "And a human with tiny little legs! What did you think was gonna happen to her, man?!"
"Well, now that we're all in our seats, maybe we can start acting like adults", I suggested.
"Yes, Sergeant Killjoy", Ramone responded, prompting snickers from McQueen and Mater.
I just rolled my eyes.
Sally noticed and whispered a few words to me before I returned to my seat.
"I understand why you want to take charge", she began. "I think they need it, but you can relax a little bit, Sarge. We're going on vacation."
"Fillmore would have missed the flight if it weren't for me", I reminded her.
She smiled. "True, but at the end of the day, that's his problem, not yours. He's not your responsibility; we're all adults here. Except for Fudge, but she's Luigi and Guido's responsibility."
I had to admit, Sally had a point.
"I'll try to remember that."
"And you said we weren't gonna make it", were the first words out of Fillmore's mouth when I got into my seat beside him.
"So, you were right and I was wrong", I admitted. "This vacation is opening me up to new experiences."
Fillmore nodded with a grin and I wasn't sure whether or not he knew I was mocking him. If he did, he ignored it. "That's great, man. It should. Pretty soon, you're gonna be sitting by the pool with a nice, refreshing drink."
"You know I'm not the sitting by the pool type", I reminded him.
He just gave me that stupid grin. "That can change, man."
Our conversation was interrupted by the plane's voice coming over the loudspeaker, welcoming us aboard Flight A113 to Miami and announcing that we had just been cleared and would be taking off shortly.
A few minutes later, we were rolling down the runway as the safety video and demonstrations began.
"Are you even listening?" I whispered to Fillmore, seeing that he had completely zoned out as our flight attendant, a white, red and blue forklift named Kara, pointed out the nearest emergency exits.
"I've flown before, man", he reminded me nonchalantly. "I know all this stuff. I located my nearest exit on my way in, I know how to put on an oxygen mask and to tend to myself before tending to my child."
"I hope you do know all that stuff", I muttered, "because if we lose cabin pressure, I have to put my mask on before helping you with yours."
Fillmore just laughed. "Don't you worry about that. I can take care of myself, believe it or not."
I hope you're right, I thought as the plane lifted into the air. Though, I had a hard time convincing myself.
Since we were on a night flight, I hoped the others would just settle down and go to sleep, but if I learned anything from our time at the airport, I knew we were in for a rough ride.
Unfortunately, I was right.
The second the plane made the announcement that we were free to move about the cabin, Luigi got up and made a beeline for Fudge. He kept getting up to check on her, even though she spent three quarters of the flight asleep! He irritated not just me, but Kara, Nancy and Fudge's seatmate- who was trying to sleep, but couldn't with a stranger leaning over him every ten minutes- as well.
By about the twentieth time, I decided enough was enough and I had to intervene. Being a protective parent was one thing, but this was getting ridiculous!
"Sorry, sir", I apologised to the gentleman sitting next to Fudge. "Luigi, get back to your seat! She's fine!"
"But what if she is not?" he protested.
"Then she, or the flight attendant, will let you know. In the meantime, just stop-"
I stopped talking when the plane shook violently. Turbulence had never bothered me, but that was the first time I had ever been grateful for it. Luigi got a little nervous and worried about that instead and he couldn't get to Fudge because everyone had to stay in their seats.
Of course, the drama didn't stop there. Why would it? Mater started screaming hysterically when we hit the turbulence and wouldn't calm down for twenty minutes, despite Kara's efforts.
About halfway through the flight, half of my friends (though, I was becoming reluctant to call them that just then) let out screams when the plane came on the loudspeaker, most likely fearing that he was going to tell us we were about to plummet to our deaths. It turned out he was just giving us an update on our altitude, which was a little unnecessary, but so was the reaction from some of the others. We would've noticed if we'd lost an engine. Funny how they didn't worry about sticking together, but overreacted now.
I don't know how, but eventually, I managed to fall asleep for a while, but when we had a little over an hour to go, I was jolted awake by even more loud screaming and panicked banging. It sounded like someone repeating the words, "It's happening! It's happening!"
"What the hell is that?!" I demanded.
Fillmore was just waking up too. "Don't know, man." He looked around. "Sounds like it's comin' from the bathroom."
"What a surprise!" I exclaimed sarcastically as Kara opened the bathroom door and Mater raced out, looking extremely relieved.
"What happened, buddy?" McQueen wanted to know.
"I jus' couldn't figure out how to open the door", he explained, sounding miserable, as though it were a truly traumatic experience.
As I closed my eyes to go back to sleep, I could've sworn I heard my old man laughing (and he wasn't the type to laugh about anything), demanding to know where I found these clowns! To be perfectly honest, I was thinking the same thing.
Relief when we landed in Miami lasted only a second before the reminder that we still had another flight to go and two weeks of vacation together sank in. So, the thought of getting on the next flight back to Velo City and taking my chances with the cold crossed my mind more than once.
Uh-oh! Poor Sarge! XD
Easter eggs in this chapter:
A113: Well, any Pixar fan would know that one.
American Skyways: From Smosh's Banned Airplane Safety Video. I find the video funny, but I don't recommend it if you have a fear of flying! XD
Okay, I'm done. Please review.
