Chapter 5- Rest and Relaxation... Minus the Rest and Relaxation

Ramone's POV

Dear Grace,

We're in the Freewheeler Islands with most of our friends! You would love it here! The beaches are beautiful and there are lots of fun activities here! Your mother and I have already been to the spa, which was great.

It's just too bad that we're stuck here babysitting today. And not for Fudge.

We'll be sure to give you more postcards while we're here. Give our love to your family!

Love, Dad

Back in 1961, I married the love of my life. I remember our honeymoon like it was yesterday. Romantic dinners, spending hours on the beach without a care in the world.

Even though Flo and I were travelling with our friends, I was still hoping to turn this trip into our second honeymoon. In a place like this, I was sure we could do it.

I was awake early on our first morning in the Freewheeler Islands, but that was okay. In fact, it was nice. It gave me a chance to appreciate the sunrise out the window. The colours were amazing, lots of pinks and oranges. The waves were shimmering in the distance and the golf course was cast in a golden glow.

Normally, I'd be snapping photos, so that I could work it into a painting when we got back. While the thought crossed my mind, I was fine where I was. My wife was fast asleep beside me. Why would I wanna move? I made a mental note to take photos of another sunrise while I was here.

When the sun was all the way up, I noticed that Flo was stirring. A second later, her eyes were open.

"Mornin', honey", she murmured softly, still half-asleep.

"Mornin', baby", I responded softly, giving her a kiss on the lips.

Oh, yeah! This took me back to my honeymoon.

THUMP!

"Fillmore!" Sarge bellowed from the other room in our suite. "Your suitcase isn't even closed?! Half your stuff just fell on the floor! The other half fell on me!"

"Don't worry 'bout it, man!" Fillmore called back from the bathroom. "I'll pick it up later!"

"I know what later means with you!" Sarge grumbled. "I'll just do it myself!"

"No, I'll do it if it bothers you that much!"

"It does!"

I was about to say something, but McQueen in the next suite beat me to it. "Sarge! Fillmore! Do you mind?! Some of us are trying to sleep!"

So much for feeling like I was on my honeymoon. Sarge and Fillmore's bickering was like being back in Radiator Springs. Except they were normally arguing about music.

Even though I thought Sarge seriously needed to loosen up, I could kind of see where he was coming from when he complained about the mess. Me, Flo, Sarge and Fillmore were all sharing the one bathroom and I couldn't even see the floor! Plus, I lived with Fillmore for a while years and years ago, way before either one of us had ever even heard of a little town called Radiator Springs, Arizona. I'm not the neatest person in the world, but Fillmore's mess was intolerable. It wasn't the reason I moved out (I moved out because I'd heard Radiator Springs was a great place to start a business and I kinda wanted to try it), but I didn't exactly miss it when I left.

Although, on the other tyre, Sarge had been acting like Sergeant Killjoy since we got to the airport. He hadn't stopped complaining since then. I don't think he realised we were on vacation.

So, to sum up, both Sarge and Fillmore were driving me crazy!


There was no going back to sleep after that, so Flo and I got ready for the day. Then we met the others at the all you can eat buffet for breakfast as we'd agreed to do the night before.

Well, not all of the others.

"Where are Luigi, Guido and Fudge?" Sarge wondered when Flo and I got there. He sounded kind of annoyed and I got the impression that he was waiting like this for us as well. "I told them to be here! Where are they?!"

"Probably sleeping in", McQueen replied. "You know, that's what some people do on vacation."

"Yeah, they're across the hall, so they probably weren't woken up by you and Fillmore arguing", I added.

Sarge shot us a Look.

"We're in no rush, honey", Flo pointed out calmly. "Lightning's right. We are on vacation. Why don't you just enjoy your breakfast? Then, when everyone's here, we'll decide what everyone wants to do today."

"All right", Sarge agreed reluctantly.


It wasn't for another hour that Luigi, Guido and Fudge showed up. By then, the sun had come all the way up and the sky was bright blue. The rest of us had had seconds and some of us had even had thirds, just so we had something to do while we waited. They still didn't look fully awake, though. I thought Sergeant Killjoy was going to give them a lecture, but he didn't. I guess he knew we'd all give him a hard time if he did.

"So, what are we doing today?" Fudge asked once the three of them had some food and looked a bit more awake.

"Yes! Let's organise that!" Sarge announced, sounding relieved.

So, we did. Fudge and McQueen wanted to go to Action World. Flo and I wanted to relax in the pool. Sarge wanted to head to the golf course. Sally and Fillmore wanted to go to the beach (that was a relief; I don't think any of us would've been able to survive if Sarge and Fillmore were together!).

"Luigi? Guido? What do you wanna do, man?" I asked while Fudge and McQueen were trying to convince Mater to go to Action World with them. For some reason, the tow truck wanted to stay at the hotel again.

"I suppose we are going to Action World", Luigi answered, not sounding very enthusiastic. He wasn't a huge fan of rollercoasters. I love them! I was planning on going to Action World at some point too, but I did want to spend some time with Flo.

"You don't have to", Flo spoke up. "Why don't you come to the pool with us?"

"What about Fudge?" Luigi questioned worriedly.

"What about her?" I wondered.

"You don't think I can look after her?" McQueen asked, sounding insulted. "I guess I put her in hospital once and now, I can't be trusted."

I think he was trying to make a joke of it, but he was serious. We all remember how mad Luigi got at him after her accident. I could kind of understand it; I have daughters myself. Still, it wasn't a good time for any of us.

"It is not that!" Luigi insisted. "I would just prefer to be there to look after her myself."

"Fudge is fifteen, soldier; not five!" Sarge pointed out for the second time in as many days. "She should be able to look after herself. When I was her age, I-"

Oh, man! Here we go! I thought. Sarge was always saying things like this. Thank Chrysler McQueen interrupted this time.

"Look, Luigi, if you wanna come to Action World, come. If you just wanna keep an eye on Fudge, forget it."

"Come to the pool with us, honey", Flo encouraged him. "Fudge'll be fine."

"Okay", Luigi agreed. I still think he'd rather keep an eye on Fudge.

"You coming, Mater?" McQueen asked again.

The tow truck said he would, but he seemed about as excited as someone on their way to their own execution.


Luigi still insisted on going to the dock to see Fudge get on the ferry to Sanchez Island. Flo and I agreed if it meant he and Guido would just relax after that.

"Are you sure you are not going to be too hot?" Luigi quizzed Fudge as he smothered her in sunscreen. For some reason, she was wearing shorts with these rainbow striped socks that went up to her knees.

"I'll be fine, Papà."

"Do you have your phone?"

"Yes, Papà", Fudge replied, making a big effort to sound patient. I don't know how she could do that; I know I couldn't.

"Does McQueen have your medication?"

"Yes, Papà."

"And you know when to take it? And remember to take it with food! Oh! I almost forgot-"

"Papà!" Fudge cut him off. "I can take care of myself!"

Both Luigi and Guido raised an eye frame. McQueen coughed. I snickered.

"Okay, I can't", Fudge admitted, "but I'm more capable than you think I am. I'll be fine."

I was glad that she was finally being sensible. When she was a little kid, both she and Luigi made it impossible to separate them. There would always be lots of tears from both of them and you pretty much needed a crowbar to pry Fudge off Luigi's tyres. Now, I think she still prefers to be with her papà, but she knows she'll be fine without him.

Still, I was pretty sure that if he could, Luigi would've covered Fudge from head to toe in bubble wrap.

I guess I can't be too hard on him. I mean, I have daughters myself. Of course, I was protective of them, but I wasn't as ridiculous about it as Luigi is, was I? All good parents are protective of their children, but I blame Luigi's obsessive overprotection on four things.

One, he is a naturally caring person towards everyone.

Two, he is naturally a worrier.

Three, Fudge is his only child.

Four, he's almost lost her more times than any of us care to remember. What with social workers almost removing her from the home and the accident.

"I know", Luigi realised. "Papà just worries, yes?" He gave her a kiss. "Now, you go and have fun!"

"Okay! Love you, Papà! Love you, Babbo! See you later!"

"We love you too, angel! We will see you later!"

Guido called something in Italian, which I'm guessing meant something similar.

"Oh! Fudgie! Do you have your-" Luigi began.

"Just go!" McQueen ordered, practically pushing Fudge onto the ferry. Mater followed slowly.

Luigi wanted to stay to see Fudge leave, but McQueen was smart enough to take her to the other side of the ferry. We couldn't see them anymore.

"Let's go!" I announced enthusiastically.

Unfortunately, just as we were turning around to leave, two cars and three forklifts who looked to be in their late teens, early twenties, came past to board the ferry. They were talking loudly and had Australian accents.

"Have you ever been to Action World?" one of the cars asked.

"Nah", a forklift replied. "I can't wait to go, though. It looks awesome!"

"It is!" another forklift confirmed. "I've been, like, ten times. Me and my family have been coming here for a holiday for years."

"You know, my mate says a human got decapitated on the Cranium Shaker last year", the first forklift informed the others.

"It's true", the second car insisted. "I was there that day."

A green Suzuki overheard them and joined in the conversation in a Japanese accent. "I hope that does not happen to me today. I am going to Action World." He laughed, so I'm pretty sure he was making a joke. Then he rolled off with a purple Honda.

Luigi looked as though he were about to cry. "I can't let her go! I don't want her to be..."

I think Luigi was about to go after Fudge, but by then, it was too late. The horn blew and a second later, the ferry was moving.

He turned to stare at me. "Did you hear what they were saying?!" he demanded.

I nodded. "I did."

"If I knew that happened, I would never have let her go!" he exclaimed breathlessly.

"It was just a rumour, man", I pointed out. "It didn't really happen."

"But it can happen."

"It's very rare, honey", Flo reasoned. "Those theme parks wouldn't still be operating if they weren't safe."

Luigi didn't look convinced.

"Come on, man!" I practically had to drag him away. "Stop worrying about Fudge. She'll be fine, I'm sure of it."

"Ramone's right", Flo added. "Now, let's just have a nice relaxing time in the pool."


"You did not tell me we were going to the adults only pool." Luigi was practically accusing us. I don't know why.

"So what?" I demanded.

"If Fudge comes back and needs to find me, she won't be able to!"

"Luigi! Forget about Fudge! She'll be fine, man!" I insisted.

To be honest, though, part of me wanted to move already too. Not because of Luigi, but because I noticed someone else by the pool: Sir Tobias Proudwheel, that English snob, who almost ruined a relaxing spa. There he was, reading a paperback, parked by the pool beside his wife, a dark purple Alfa Romeo. He was a silver Jaguar with green eyes and he seemed to look down on everything and everyone in disapproval. Like now. He took a sip of the drink a poolside water had brought him and made the most disgusted face you can imagine. I just hoped he wouldn't start up with the comments again, but I knew he would.

"This is your vacation too, honey", Flo reminded Luigi. "You should be able to enjoy it."

Apparently, that was too much to ask of him. We hadn't been in the pool for five minutes before he announced, "I should call Fudge to make sure she is okay." He got out to grab his phone.

"Already?!" She had only just left.

He ignored me and called her. "Fudgie! Is everything okay?... Okay. I was just checking... Are you sure you want to go to the theme park? I am not sure if you heard about what happened to some humans on the roller coaster last year... Nothing... Nothing... I don't want to scare you... Okay. As long as you are okay... I will talk to you later... I love you too, angel... Ciao!" He hung up.

"Now, can you relax?!" I quizzed him.


Apparently not. I was just closing my eyes, enjoying the warm sunshine when I heard his voice. He was insisting on making sure Fudge got to Action World safely.

"Luigi, you can't keep callin' her, man!" I protested. "You're gonna drive her crazy!"

"I don't need to call her!" I was relieved to hear that until he kept talking. "I can use my phone to track her at all times!"

"You're crazy, man!" I chased after him.

"And I thought there would be no shouting and running with no children around!" Sir Tobias Proudwheel grumbled.

"You know what I'm gonna do?" I quizzed Luigi. "I'm gonna get us all some drinks."

Luigi frowned. "It is only ten-thirty in the morning."

"Not alcoholic drinks!" I explained. "Just nice, refreshin' tropical drinks. You'll feel much better when you have one." I got the attention of the poolside waiter and got the specialty, made of plenty local and tropical fruits. When it came, I thought it was quite delicious. I found myself relaxing; I could only hope Luigi would do the same.


The drink did nothing to help Luigi relax, as it turns out. Next time I saw him, he was getting out of the pool again to call her for about the tenth time.

"Luigi! Get back here!" I called after him. I got out the pool to go after him, but I accidentally splashed Sir Proudwheel.

"Clumsy fool!" he muttered intentionally loud enough for me to hear.

If he hadn't been so rude to everyone, I would've apologised to him, but he had been rude, so I didn't.

"Luigi!" I shouted again. "You don't have to call your daughter every five minutes!" And I thought I would have a more relaxing day away from Sarge and Fillmore.

"I thought you would understand", he responded. "You are a father."

"Yes, and you gotta let your kids grow up, as painful as it is!" I pointed out. I did feel kind of sorry for him; letting your kids grow up is hard, but come on!

Flo must've understood how he felt too. "Let him go, baby", instructed me. "He'll feel better after hearing that Fudge is fine."

Well, I thought so too, but the problem was he didn't hear that Fudge was fine.

"She is not answering!" he cried, practically in a full blown panic. "Why is she not answering?!"

"She's probably busy having fun", I muttered, but he didn't seem to hear me. He was busy calling McQueen.

"McQueen!" he shouted into the phone breathlessly. "Is Fudge okay?!... Mater? Where are Fudge and McQueen?! Did something happen?!" A second later, relief came into his voice. "Oh! Okay... So, Fudge is fine?... And they are together?... Okay; I was just making sure... Please remind Fudge to take her medication... Okay, I will call again later... Ciao!" He hung up once again.

Guido asked him a question in Italian.

"Fudge is fine", he reported in English, which I guess was for Flo's and my benefit. "She and McQueen are just on a roller coaster, so she could not have her phone with her."

Guido looked relieved too. While he wasn't anywhere near as ridiculous as Luigi was, he was pretty overprotective of Fudge himself.


I found a nice spot in the shade of the palm trees and led Flo there.

"This is nice, isn't it?" I grinned at her.

"Sure is!" Flo agreed with a smile of her own.

"Remember our honeymoon?" I asked her.

"I sure do. That was the best week of my life."

"This place reminds me of the resort we stayed in then", I informed her.

"Me too."

"It's just a shame that this doesn't feel much like a honeymoon", I remarked sadly.

"You can't be surprised, honey!" Flo laughed. "We're not travelling alone this time around. We've got our friends with us this time!"

"That's true", I admitted. "Still, I was kind of hoping we'd have a few more romantic moments. Like those two." I waved towards the other end of the pool where two old RVs were cuddling and kissing. They looked very much in love. They were probably travelling alone and weren't worried about their friends' bickering or constantly trying to call their daughter.

"Don't worry, honey", she assured me. "We'll have plenty of time alone, just the two of us. But let's not shut our friends out. We should all spend some time together too."

"You're right", I realised.

"C'mere!" She leaned in closer to give me a kiss when...

Luigi groaned. "I am not getting any service at this end of the pool!" He parked right behind Sir Proudwheel, who was a few feet away from us. (He must've moved; come to think of it, he was complaining about the sun being too hot a few minutes earlier. If I'd have known that, I never would've chosen that spot.) "Fudge! Are you okay?!"

"Excuse me!" Sir Proudwheel called to him rudely. "Are you planning on being on that phone all day? Because if you are, perhaps you ought to consider moving elsewhere? Some people would rather do without the noise."

"I am sorry, signore!" Luigi apologised politely. "This will only take a minute. I have to check in with my daughter. You see, she needs medication-"

But Sir Tobias Proudwheel was no longer listening. He was busy talking to one of the lifeguards, demanding to know how often the water was cleaned and the exact temperature of it.

As if things couldn't get any worse, Sarge and Fillmore showed up. We'd made plans to meet up with them and Sally for lunch.

"Do you have any idea how embarrassing that was?!" Sarge demanded. "I have never heard of a maid in a hotel complaining to someone personally about the mess! And I never thought it would happen to me!"

"It's no big deal, man!" Fillmore countered casually. "I'll make sure it's cleaned up before we go home. You need to loosen up. We're on vacation."

"Being on vacation isn't an excuse to live like... Well, I was going to say wild animals, but not even wild animals are as messy as you are!"

"You are having lunch?" Luigi asked Fudge. "You have not forgotten to take your medication, no?"

I thought a morning in the adults only pool with my wife would leave me feeling relaxed and refreshed, but as I climbed out of the pool, I felt exhausted. I didn't see how I could put up with this for two weeks. Maybe there was nothing I could do about Sarge and Fillmore or Sir Proudwheel, but Luigi was a big problem too. And I knew exactly what I wanted to do about that.

"Okay. When was the last time you put on sunscreen?" he questioned. "It is very important in a place like this. And you are wearing a hat?"

Without a word, I plucked his phone out of his tyre and before he could protest (though, I did get a gasp out of him), I hurled it into the pool. I heard him gasp again as it sank to the bottom.

I turned around to find that he looked stunned. When Guido retrieved the phone from the bottom of the pool and returned it to him, it wouldn't turn on. He didn't say anything. He still looked stunned and kind of hurt. I had just cut off his connection with his precious Fudge. The others were giving me judge-y looks too, even Flo.

"Sorry, man", I apologised and I meant it, "but it was for your own good."

"That was my phone", was his only response.

"I'll buy you a new one when we get home", I promised him. "But for now, stop worrying about your daughter and enjoy your vacation."

"It took me two years to figure out how to use that phone", Luigi muttered as he drove off after the others to grab some lunch.

Okay. Maybe that was a bit mean and I did feel kind of bad, but really. There's only so much one car can take.

Uh-oh! Poor Luigi! And poor Ramone too! XD

Only one Easter egg: Cranium Shaker is from Diary of a Wimpy Kid.