Mo Allies, Mo Problems
"Lilith!" Claptrap called the name of the red-haired woman, "I can safely report that Operation Trojan Claptrap was a success! I did it all by myself!"
Wilkes commented on Clap's last commented, "Uh, yeah. I'm gonna call bullshit on that! We did all the work! This robot cowered by my friend with the sniper over there."
This Lilith woman finally spoke up, "Um…I'm gonna be completely blunt here. You four don't look like Vault Hunters."
"Uh, do we look like we rob banks, ma'am?" Grimm's eyebrow cocked.
"Guess that confirms it right there." She said, looking down at Claptrap, "You guys wouldn't have the chance to have seen an older man, a big robot, two women, one of which kinda reminds me of you?"
Kane answered her question politely, "Sorry erm…Lilith. We just got here. We were hoping to get some answers." He briefly looked back at Claptrap, "Let's just say we haven't been able to find any real help. Do you know where we are?"
"Covenant Pass." She answered, "If you're wondering exactly what world you're on, it's Pandora."
Seeing how Lilith was just standing there not being a threat to them in any way, Kane signaled the three to lower their weapons. He saw this moment as a good chance to maybe get some help on what was going on.
"Pandora?" Fisher looked up at the sky, gazing at the big moon above.
"Yep. So, who are you guys anyway?"
"I'm Sergeant Daniel Kane." The unofficial squad leader decided to cut formalities since Lilith didn't look military, "Guy with the shotgun's Sergeant Landon Wilkes, that there's Lieutenants Robert Fisher and Thomas Grimm."
Claptrap interrupted the conversation, "Uh, do you guys hear screaming?"
Kane and Lilith stayed quiet so they could hear what Clap heard. They soon found out Clap was right on the money. It was the screams of many COV, screams that got progressively louder with each second. "Excuse us." Fisher said to Lilith as the four aimed their guns in the direction of the coming storm of COV. As the next batch got to a good distance between them and Zeta Squad, the four unleashed Hell on the crazed cultists with pure, hot lead. Lilith was just about to go Firehawk on their asses but before she could, all of them had been dropped dead.
"…I'll tell you what." Lilith gazed into the piles of dead cultists, "You guys help me with my mission and I'll play twenty questions with you later."
"Mission, eh?" Kane smiled, "What do you need done?"
"I'm looking for something important." She said as she began walking toward the front door to the Propaganda Center, "A map."
The four, and Claptrap, followed her to the big door ahead. The four tried to mentally prepare themselves for a fight after the way they introduced themselves through the last one.
"What's it a map of?" Asked Fisher.
"A big map." She told the outsiders, "One that lead to Vaults all over the Borderlands."
"Borderlands?"
"Yeah, you know – Never mind." Lilith continued, "Anyway, a few years ago, I lost the map and I've been looking for it ever since. I didn't realize during that time that Pandora was changing. Back then, the bandits'd usually just kill each other for fun. But now they've united under one banner, a cult."
The six stopped in front of the twin doors leading inside. To Zeta's suspicion, the door slowly opened up without them needing to press a button or flip a switch.
"The cult being the Children of the Vault, right?" Grimm asked, switching to his Designated Marksman Rifle.
"Yep."
"I take it their names are Tyreen and Troy?" Fisher made a wild guess after recalling what that bandit said in his tirade.
The doors had fully opened up, revealing the inside of the COV Propaganda Center. Having not seen any more cultists waiting nearby, the five proceeded inside with caution. Claptrap was quick to backtrack and wait outside. Zeta rolled their eyes at his obvious cowardice but once they entered the building, they wished they had stayed out too once their nostrils were forced to welcome the smell of dirty underwear and a Mercury brothel.
"Tyreen and Troy Calypso. Right on the money, killer." Lilith guided the squad, "The bandits worship the Calypso Twins as gods. They believe the map will lead them to something called the Great Vault – "
Just as they made it inside a filthy, rusty room with random crap everywhere, Lilith stopped talking and stood perfectly still.
"You hear that?" She asked cautiously.
Looking up ahead, the four immediately cocked their guns at the sight of a hulking, red-masked bandit with an arm huger than his little stubby one. Wielding an improvised blade with his giant arm, he jumped off a rusty platform, slashing an electrical wire in mid-air.
"I'M GOING TO SHARPEN MY BLADE ON YOUR SPINE!" The man made an attempt to kindly introduce himself to the outsiders.
As soon as he landed on the ground the five stood on, BOOM! His head welcomed a nice 50. Caliber bullet from Grimm's sniper. It was also kind enough to donate some blood to paint the floor around him, not that anyone could appreciate the effort since the room was dim.
With a smug grin on his face, Grimm looked to Lilith, "Don't bring a knife to a gunfight, especially when there's a guy with a big-ass sniper rifle involved!"
Kane and Fisher sighed at his latest boast, continuing on with an impressed Wilkes and a disappointed Lilith. Catching up, Grimm followed his friends and new ally up the platform the big, crazy bandit jumped off of, stumbling upon two steel doors. Stopping in front of it, Lilith suddenly disappeared, sending the squad somewhat on alert, looking around in small panic. Suddenly, the doors opened up. The squad aimed their guns at them to see what was on the other side, which was simply just Lilith herself, putting them at total ease.
The four followed her inside. They found themselves in a big room occupied by three static TVs, a table, and other bits of random crap none of them wanted to touch, prompting Lilith to walk up to the biggest TV nesting behind the table to find something that'd help her with her mission. Zeta let her do her thing, not wanting to grab something that was a mini-Noah's Ark because nobody washed their damn hands. Finding a keyboard on the table, Lilith pressed a few keys. Her doing so opened up a video from the TVs. The video in question showed yet another masked bandit, no doubt one of the COV, talking to the camera.
"Shiv!" The cultist said, "The Sun Smasher clan has received the secret Vault Map. Send our followers to invite the Sun Smashers into our holy family. And hurry…The Twin Gods grow hungry!"
The TVs went back to static.
Lilith turned to the repulsed squad, "The map! I knew it! We have to beat them to the Sun Smashers."
Kane smiled, "Lead the way,"
The Firehawk jogged towards the doors to the left of them, "I'll open the gate."
Getting ahead of her, Fisher approached the doors, "Don't worry, ma'am. I got this."
With all his strength, Fisher kicked both doors down with the power of a single, military-issue boot. With a sly smirk, the machine gunner let the four out before leaving himself.
"Show-off." Lilith muttered to herself in confidence that Fisher didn't hear her. He did but didn't say anything about it, "This way."
Leading the four to the exit, Zeta followed the Firehawk out of that old, dingy facility. Heading back outside, a blast of cold air hit them like the butt of a guy's rifle. Upon their exit, the first thing they stumbled upon was a highly-improvised structure, made of various scrap; trailers, cars, containers, whatever crap the COV could get their hands on to establish a base to help spread the word of the "Twin Gods". Lilith ran up the flight of stairs leading into a trailer stationed above a little tunnel leading out of the Center.
"I'm gonna set up camp and gather some intel on the Calypsos." She headed inside the trailer, "Find the Smasher warchief and do whatever it takes to get that map."
Claptrap rolled right past the five through the tunnel with great speed.
"Looks like you got this thing! Good luck!" He said, "I'm gonna…go hang out in some trash."
The four snickered as they headed out into the vast, open desert that was The Droughts.
"Yeah, you do that." Fisher quipped as he and his friends looked around their current area, "Uhh…we're gonna need a vehicle."
Lilith reacted with a tiny grin, "Yeah, I wouldn't recommend hoofing it in all that gear. Still have no idea how the Crimson Lance did it."
"The what?"
"Never mind."
Crimson Lance, Crimson Raiders. Fisher pondered briefly, huh.
Luckily for the four, there was a single, unattended buggy parked nearby for anyone to jump into. With the mission ahead of them, and a chance to get some questions answered, Zeta took it without consideration for anyone that might've owned it. They figured it was probably owned by some COV savage they killed back there anyway, so technically it was free. Turning on the engine with a mere flip of a switch, Grimm swiftly drove as far away from that place as possible. That map was the key to fulfilling the mission.
Speaking of a map, before they took off, a strange beeping noise went off out of nowhere. Kane was the first to notice it was coming from the big bricks that Claptrap gave them half and hour before, the ECHO-3s. Pulling his out, his head pulled back as a blue holographic display of a map popped up before him. Once Grimm drove away from the Center, he quickly made it out to be a map of the general area around them. Seeing a bright cyan marker and the text next to the map, "Find the Sun Smasher warchief", he set his ECHO on the dashboard for Grimm to use as a GPS as he got back on the road.
"So, what're we working with here…" Lilith spoke over the comms.
Kane asked her, "Will that place work?"
"…Well, this place kinda sucks, but it's all we got at the moment. Not the first time the Raiders had to start from scratch. I think so."
Grimm commented as his eyes stayed focused on the road, "Yeah, I could already see how this place can give you a buncha setbacks."
Lilith snarked back with a chuckle, "You guys definitely look like you're gonna have to start from scratch."
"What makes you say that?"
"Your armor." She said, "It looks quite…retro. Very retro."
Claptrap's past comment came rushing back into Fisher's head. You guys sure are a long way from home!
It didn't take long for Zeta to get to their destination. Parking in front of a small hill and getting out of the buggy, the first thing they clocked out were three bandits conversing with one another. Standing before the sandy hill, the COV were quick to notice their unexpected presence, pulling out their weapons.
"YOU WILL NOT STOP THE TWIN GODS!" One yelled as she charged towards the squad with her buddies wielding a buzz axe.
The four took all three of them out as soon as one of them yelled. Running up the slope and past an open gateway into the next bandit base, they wasted no time in making their presence known to the COV again. Grimm stayed behind with his sniper, letting the three charge into battle with even more charging, crazed cultists. Wilkes was the first to make a kill, blowing the brains out of a cultist who suicidally rushed toward him despite having an assault rifle. Doing the same to the chest of one standing on the roof of a rusted shack, he made a long sigh from the boredom of facing a bunch of unskilled lunatics with cheap-ass, improvised weaponry. He had yet to meet a challenging foe. He was even beginning to wonder already that these "Calypso Twins" were probably a couple of annoying pussies who could never stand up to real men like him.
Kane and Fisher on the other hand, didn't think much of fighting these lesser warriors as they continuously gunned them down with little effort. Kane simply thought of this as just another mission to be done. He was more interested in completing the next step to finding answers to where the hell they were. Fisher's thoughts transitioned contemplating where and when they were to what kind of people the Calypsos were to round up maniacs like them to die in their name. He didn't see the bandits as the kind of people who'd willingly unite under one banner just to become some kind of Pandora's Gate. It would need someone with a giant ego and the shiniest silver tongue in the so-called Borderlands to get the bandits to stop killing each other for shits and giggles and worshipping rocks to accomplish such a feat, someone it might actually take some time to kill, and a lot of bullets.
Crossing a small river and two ramps placed opposite each other, the squad moved on up to the main part of the bandit den. Grimm had to do a little catching up so he could find the next vantage point to cover his friends' asses as they ran up a little hill leading into a more urbanized area. Standing on top of a dirty shack, the sniper had already scoped out a small crowd of COV standing before a wooden platform, occupied by a single, disheveled, bearded man hanging by his ankles, tied together by rope. Grimm chuckled when he noticed their victim wearing only a torn-up cape and his tighty whiteys while the three that approached the crowd of COV briefly looked away covering their mouths.
"Hey, guys!" The bearded man waved to the Marines, "A little help here?"
And with the magic of stealth gone, the COV diverted their attention away from their latest victim to the group of trained professionals ready to rain doom on them. Grimm took the first shot right away, getting the flamethrower held by one guy, sending half of them to a fiery oblivion. The rest of the squad used this opportunity to resume their easy genocide of the Children of the Vault. Grimm focused his attention on the structure in front of them, which was used by some COV to watch their victim from a better view. Too bad doing so put them in the righteous path of several rounds. One-by-one, their heads exploded with generous donations of blood and gray matter for their nearby buddies. Noticing their heads getting picked off from afar, one cultist tried getting away by jumping over the railing. Landing on the ground, however, put himself in the way of Fisher's machine gun. The gun was kind enough to give away some lead for Grimm's last friend just as he got up to take a crack at the other Marines.
With the living non-challenges...no longer living, Grimm jumped off the shack to catch up to his friends. As the four were back together, they each looked up at the caped dude in his underwear.
"Oh, thank the Borderlands!" Said the hanged man, "You have no idea how glad I am to see you!"
None in Zeta Squad could resist looking to each other with cracked smiles. The sight of one dirty motherfucker hanging upside down in his undies and a cape had made their mission worth it.
Hiding a small chuckle, Kane spoke to the man, "You need help there, Captain Starr?"
"Oh, yes!" He said with absolute glee, "Yes I do!"
"Grimm."
"Roger that."
Aiming his sidearm at the single line of rope above the guy, Grimm split it into two with one 45. Caliber bullet, freeing him but giving him a hard landing on the sand.
"Thanks!" He expressed appreciation as he got up.
"You the Sun Smasher warchief?" Fisher asked the disheveled man.
"Yeah!" He dusted his stained underwear that Zeta was vowed to keep their eyes off of, "Did Lilith send you?"
Kane answered, "Yup. What's your name?"
"Vaughn. Warchief of the Sun Smashers!"
"Can I ask you something?" Grimm wanted to get something off his chest, "Do these Sun Smashers require you to uh – strip down to your undies and run around like those superheroes from those old 21st century movies?"
Vaughn put his hands on his hips, looking more like what Grimm mentioned.
"I shall have you know, Vault Hunters, I killed a guy with my abs!"
"We're not Vault Hunters." Kane let Vaughn know.
"Right! Crimson Raiders!"
Fisher remarked, looking down at the fresh corpses he made, "I get the feeling we're gonna be."
"Soldiers?"
Wilkes immediately detested that label, "Definitely not that!"
"I'll just call you guys Outsiders then."
Kane finally switched to a more important subject, "Lilith ordered us to find a Vault Map. Your people have it. Do you know where it is?"
"Oh yeah!" Vaughn started walking toward the entrance, Zeta followed, "Well, I don't have it on me."
"Yeah, I can see that."
Grimm added, "I'd make a lube joke but I don't know how big this Vault Map is."
"Thanks…Grimm."
"My clan's about to give the Vault Map to the Calypsos as a peace offering." Vaughn ran past the fresh death the Outsiders created.
"Where?"
"At the Holy Broadcast Center in Ascension Bluff."
Kane spoke to her over the comms, "Lilith, did you get that?"
"Yep. Sending coordinates to your ECHOs now."
Vaughn smiled with joy, "Lilith, is that you?"
"Wait…is that Vaughn?" She reacted with surprise.
Checking the digital ammo counter on his machine gun, Fisher tilted his head, "You two know each other?"
"Oh, yeah!" The bearded weirdo confirmed, "Me and Lil are tight! Like, super tight! No, bro tight! It's a thing."
The Firehawk chuckled, "Good to hear from him again."
The five made it out of the Sun Smasher settlement. There, the buggy waited for its new owners to be driven to its next destination. Wilkes, Fisher, and Grimm climbed aboard and turned on the ignition. Kane needed a moment first to tell Vaughn something.
"Lilith is at the old COV Propaganda Center." Kane turned to Vaughn when he approached the passenger seat, "Just over there. She could probably use your help. We'll go to the Broadcast Center and get that Vault Map."
"Aw, I don't get to come with?"
Kane climbed inside and nested his rifle by his leg, "No thanks. We want to enjoy as much of the smell of the outside air as long as possible before storming into the Belly of the Beast. Sorry about your clan."
"Oh…alrighty then!" The smelly Sun Smasher waved to the four as they drove away, "And it's totally okay! I'll just join your clan! Give'em hell!" He whispered to himself as he walked away, "Go Crimson Raiders!"
Hell? Fisher thought. We'll give the COV more than that, maybe even to the Calypsos if we ever see them…
