Ice Cream Parlor, Tree Hill

The thing with Davis and what had happened between us never left my mind. And I just needed someone I could confide my secret. I knew that I could trust Sawyer. And besides, it was also that I knew something about her that she wanted no one to know. So I took a deep breath and started with my confession.

"I slept with Davis," I confessed to her and waited anxiously for her reaction.

"You- you did... what...?" She stammered, stunned.

I leaned forward so that no one could listen to our conversation. "Yesterday, I drove to the Baker's after school because I had a date with Jude," I began to tell. "You were doing homework with Izzy and Mrs. Baker was drinking coffee with your mom," I reminded her. "Justin wasn't there either. He wanted to meet with Jamie to play basketball."

"And you thought, because nobody was at home, you would have the opportunity to sleep with Jude," Sawyer completed.

I nodded. "Yeah. But when I knocked at the door, only Davis was there. Jude had something else to do and wanted to come later. So Davis invited me in and we went to his room to wait there."

"You lied to me then, when I asked you if you had sex?" Sawyer asked indignantly, raising her eyebrows. "You said you wanted to wait."

"I wasn't lying." I shook my head. "When we met in the cafeteria, I was still a virgin. It was a day after that when we slept together." I knew how lame my defense sounded, and I still couldn't understand how I could forget my principles. "Sawyer, please!" I pleaded. "You have to believe me, I didn't plan that."

She sighed and brushed a strand of her long, blond hair from her face. "All right, keep talking."

I shrugged helplessly. "I don't know how this could happen. We were suddenly alone in his room, and he was so close to me, and I suddenly felt things that I had never felt when I was with Jude," I confessed softly and put my hand on my stomach. "I had this strange tingling sensation in here."

Sawyer lifted her eyebrows in surprise. "I can't believe it," she said. "You actually have a crush on Davis Baker!"

"Guilty." I grinned sheepishly and then lowered my head. "I have never felt anything like this before. I mean, I always thought he was hot. But I had Jude, and somehow I didn't want to be one of the girls Davis scores with. And at first I could resist him. I went home. But a short time later he appeared at our house and I couldn't turn him down again."

"Are you a couple now?" Sawyer interrupted.

I shook my head and looked at her sadly. "Now I'm one of the girls he wanted to score with," I said quietly. "He left right after we had sex. And since then I haven't heard from him."

"Oh Lydia, I'm so sorry!"

When Sawyer grabbed my hands and looked at me sympathetically, I could barely hold back my tears. But somehow it was good to pour out my heart. I didn't have anyone else I could trust.

"Did you use any protection?"

I nodded eagerly. "Of course. I had borrowed some condoms from Jamie's closet earlier. Do you think I want to get pregnant at the age of 16?"

"You know that condoms aren't the safest contraceptive," Sawyer stated. "You should go to the doctor and ask for the pill."

"Are you crazy?" I exclaimed. "For that I need my mom's permission. And when I ask her if I can get the pill, she'd want to know why, and then she learns that I had sex. Besides, it was only once and I don't intend to repeat it."

"Was it that bad?" Sawyer asked sympathetically.

I nodded hesitantly as I felt my cheeks get hot. We sat in a public ice cream parlor and talked about my first sexual experiences. Certainly not the right place to discuss things like that.

"I'm sorry."

I smiled thinly. Sawyer's compassion felt good but it didn't help me over my heartache. It was just too painful that he rejected me.

"What about Jude? I mean, after you've slept with his brother, you can't pretend that you're in love with him."

I looked at her thoughtfully. She was right. After my encounter with Davis, I realized that I had never really loved Jude. At least not as a girlfriend should love her boyfriend. But I didn't want to hurt him either. He was, after all, one of the most important people in my life, alongside Sawyer and Izzy. But I couldn't go on with playing his girlfriend. It wasn't fair to him, even though I knew that Davis and I would never be a couple. "I'll break up with him," I decided spontaneously. "I should have done this earlier."

Sawyer nodded. "I think that's the best," she agreed, picking up the menu. "Shall we order something now?"

I nodded and beckoned the waitress. "The big fruit cup with mixed ice cream and chocolate sauce," I ordered and felt how Sawyer looked at me smirking.

"Spaghetti ice cream for me," she ordered.

When the waitress left, she gazed at me with a grin and raised her brows meaningfully and I felt compelled to defend myself. "I just need this right now," I said, shrugging.

"You're right," she nodded. "Ice cream is the best way to overcome a heartache."

But she was wrong, because even after I had finished my ice cup, I still felt bad. Maybe I wouldn't feel any better until I had talked to Jude. "Let's go," I said after we paid. When she turned her eyes at me with a thoughtful look, I knew that she knew what I was up to. But she said nothing, just took my arm, and together we left the ice cream parlor.