Jeweler Shop, Tree Hill
I was feeling so out of place when I entered the jewelry shop together with my brother, intending to buy a birthday gift for Lydia. But I had promised Jude to help him pick something and couldn't wimp out now. Since our last fateful meeting, I had avoided Lydia. Too much burdened me on what had happened that day, even though I knew I was acting like an asshole. She deserved that we talked about it. But every time I remembered our first time, my stomach clenched and I panicked. There had been the blood on the sheet and her stifled cry, which hadn't been an expression of ecstasy but a sign of pain. And then later when she had cried it had been clear to me how much I had hurt her. Perhaps she would always be afraid of sleeping with a boy because she would think it would always be so painful. And that was my fault. I had that screwed up for her. And what made matters worse: I had sex with my brother's girlfriend! A fact that weighed even more because I really didn't enjoy cheating on my brother. We have always been honest with each other. If he found out now what we had done, he would hate me forever. And I couldn't even blame him, because I already hated myself for it. But as much as I regretted everything, I had to admit that I had done it because I really had feelings for her. But would she believe me after what had happened between us and what she knew about me? And wasn't it pointless to hope for a real relationship, because Jude had still been in love with her? The whole time I had wondered why Lydia had lied. Had she done it because she had wanted to have sex with me, or had real feelings been involved? There was no point in thinking about it. I had to talk to her again, as much as I didn't look forward to this conversation. Distracted by my thoughts, I looked up when a jeweler approached us.
"How can I help you?"
"I'm looking for a gift for my girlfriend," Jude said. "She's celebrating her 17th birthday in three weeks."
"Have you thought of anything in particular?" The jeweler asked.
Jude looked questioningly at me and I just shrugged. He couldn't expect me to decide what kind of jewelry he should give Lydia. I came along to support him, not to make decisions.
"Maybe a necklace with a pendant?" He suggested.
"Very well. What kind of pendant do you have in mind?"
And again he looked questioningly at me. I didn't know why I just remembered that a unicorn of plush had sat on the bed when we had made love. "A unicorn," I blurted out without thinking. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jude looking at me frowning. I'm sure he wondered how I knew that his girlfriend had a plush unicorn sitting on her bed. Oh crap! If I wasn't careful, he would learn what we had done.
"A very nice choice," the jeweler said, taking a mini-unicorn in silver out of his drawer and put it in front of us.
I no longer dared to look at Jude of fear that I would reveal myself. I just hoped that he would take it and then we could leave.
"Yes, that's very pretty," Jude said. "And in addition a silvery necklace. How much is it together?"
"Wait a second." The jeweler took the necklace and the pendant and put everything together in a small jewelry box. "It's $ 59.50."
"Okay." Jude gave him the money and took the box.
I was relieved when we were outside again. All the time I had expected that Jude would accuse me that I had slept with his girlfriend.
"Thanks Bro! I'm really glad that you came along and helped me to pick out the right pendant. I didn't know what to take. Lydia will love it! She collects unicorns. But how did you know that she likes them?"
I broke into a cold sweat. I had to come up with something right now and fast. "Izzy mentioned it once," I lied.
"It's true. She's crazy about it. She even has sheets of it and pillows and a stuffed animal."
How could Jude know that Lydia had bed linen with a unicorn print? Jealousy came over me as I thought about that he probably had seen her naked before. "Are we done? Can we drive back now?" I urged him. I just wanted to get away from here. And I had to find a way to talk to Lydia. She needed to know what I felt for her, even though she probably wouldn't return the feelings. "Can you lend me your phone?" I asked my brother when we were sitting in his car again. "I left mine at home at the charger." He gave it to me without hesitation and without asking questions, and I quickly scrolled through his call register until I came across Lydia's name. Fortunately, the number wasn't hard to remember, so I could memorize it well. As Jude looked to see what I was doing, I pretended to be playing a game. He couldn't know what I was doing. It wasn't until we got back home that I managed to relax. Luckily, Jude hadn't noticed anything, so when I was alone in my room, I picked up my cell phone and typed in the number I'd remembered. It wasn't long before she answered the call.
"Yes?"
My hands were wet and a lump had formed in my throat. "Lydia?" I asked in a slightly trembling voice. No reaction. I just heard her breath. "Lydia, please, don't hang up!" I pleaded. "I know that I acted like an asshole, but please give me the chance to explain!" I didn't know what I had expected, but not what she replied to my request.
"Okay. Tomorrow during the school break in the cafeteria. Be on time."
She hung up before I could say anything else. It was clear that she wanted the conversation to take place in a neutral place. So I couldn't get too close to her or hurt her again, which she apparently secretly feared. Sighing, I put the phone back in my pocket. How should I bridge the time until tomorrow? I wanted to go to her right away and talk to her. But I respected her wish and would be patient, as hard as it was for me. I looked at the clock. It was still early enough to do some sports. I changed quickly, took my bag and left the house to go to the fitness studio.
