Fitness Studio, Tree Hill
The weekend was almost there, and I still wasn't able to find a solution for Tracy and myself. Should I give in to her wish and have sex with her? I needed someone to talk to about it, and who knew better than my twin brother, for he had the most experience. So I was glad when he agreed to join me for the workout, which was just a pretext. We were alone in the changing room, so I came straight to the point.
"Tracy asked me if I would like to spend the next weekend with her," I began, waiting for his reaction.
"And?" He raised his head and frowned questioningly. "What did you say?"
"I don't know," I admitted, looking down in embarrassment. "Her parents aren't there. They leave for the weekend. We would be all alone."
"Ah, I understand." Davis grinned. "She wants to finally do it."
"Not what you think." I rolled my eyes. "We want to... watch movies," I lied, because I was suddenly shy to admit to Davis that he was right.
"Movies?" He raised his eyebrows mockingly. "You could also watch movies if her parents were there. Believe me, Bro, if a girl invites you and emphasizes that her parents aren't there, then she wants to have sex."
"You would know," I mumbled.
"That's why you told me, right?"
He knew me better than I thought. Reluctantly, I nodded. "I just don't know what to do," I admitted with a sigh. "Again and again she starts with the topic, and I don't have any excuse anymore."
"Why are you looking for an excuse? I thought she is the girl of your dreams. Then you should want it just like her," Davis frowned.
"She's still a virgin." Somehow I was a little uncomfortable telling such intimate details to my brother, but maybe he would understand me a little better now.
"You are afraid to hurt her."
I looked at him surprised. Apparently he knew what I was afraid of. "Yes, and I wish I had more experience with this. Surely it would be easier then." It was not a question but rather a statement, still Davis understood it as a question.
"No, it's not easier," he said softly. "On the contrary. When I had sex with Lydia for the first time, I hurt her very much because I had the wrong expectations. I expected her to react like the girls I knew and had sex with before. But everything was different with her. My experiences with all the girls before didn't help me. Actually, they only made things worse." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "When it comes to understand women, I'm the wrong person to ask for advice, Bro."
Bitterness and resignation spoke from his words, and instinctively I felt that something was on his mind. And it had nothing to do with our topic. "Did something happen?" I asked carefully.
"Lydia gave me back the engagement ring," he confessed after a moment's hesitation.
"What? Why?" I looked at him incredulously. "She was so happy when you proposed to her."
He shrugged. "Yes, I know. But she changed her mind."
Confused, I looked at him. "I don't get it."
"Neither do I. That's why I say that I have no idea about women." He frowned sullenly.
"I'm sorry." I gently put my hand on his shoulder. "There is certainly a reason for why she reacted that way."
"She just doesn't want to marry yet." He shrugged. "And I will have to accept that." He looked up. "But we are completely off topic." He cleared his throat. "If you want to hear my advice... If you don't want to sleep with Tracy, then you should tell her that. But if you want it and are only afraid of it, you should get past it. She's probably just as scared as you are. And then don't expect too much from the first time." He grinned slightly. "I bought new condoms a few months ago. I can give you some if you need them."
When he got up and reached for his towel, it reminded me why we were here. I hurried to change my clothes and then followed him into the weight room.
House of the Scotts
For several weeks now I have given Lydia private lessons, and so far she had liked it. But today she seemed unfocused and made many careless mistakes. I glanced at her left hand and stifled a sigh. If Peyton hadn't told me that Lydia got engaged, I would never have known, because my daughter didn't talk to me anymore. I wondered if it was because of what had happened in the past. Did she still resent me for sending her to Santa Barbara? And then my first reaction to the news that she was pregnant? Had she still not forgiven me for that? I didn't know either, because Lydia remained silent. But I was really worried. After all, she was still my daughter. "If you want a break, let me know," I started the conversation carefully.
"No, I'm fine." Lydia sighed and stroked a strand of hair behind her ear and reached for her calculator. "I'm completing the task, and then we'll finish for today."
"I baked some cookies," I hurried to say. "Do you want to stay for coffee?"
"No, I think I should go home," she said gruffly. "I'm really tired."
I looked at her more closely and only now recognized the dark circles under her eyes. "Everything okay?" I inquired worriedly and looked at her belly, that was clearly visible now.
"I haven't slept so well the last two nights," she admitted hesitantly.
"Actually, it happens later in pregnancy that you can't sleep well," I said.
"It's not because of the baby." Lydia sighed softly. "It's because of Davis," she admitted after a moment's hesitation.
"Did you have a fight?" I asked in alarm. When I received no answer to my question, I saw my fear confirmed. "Please, Lydia," I begged her. "Talk to me! I know we had some problems in the past, but you are still my daughter and I only wants nothing but the best for you." When she raised her head and looked at me with misty eyes, I pushed my chair back and walked over to her. Carefully, I took her in my arms. "I love you," I said softly. "And you should know that you can always talk to me about everything."
"Davis proposed," she confessed reluctantly. "And I said yes. But later I wasn't so sure anymore."
I brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, smiling. "I know about the proposal. Peyton told me," I admitted. "She thought I already knew it. Otherwise she wouldn't have told me."
"I'm sorry, Mom!"
As tears ran down her cheeks, I pulled her closer. "Don't be sorry. It's your life, your decision. Your dad proposed to me when I was pregnant with Jamie. And then everything went very fast. I had no time to think about whether marriage was the right decision."
"Was it?" Lydia asked softly.
I shrugged helplessly. "I don't know. At least I thought so then. I thought I had no choice. Don't get me wrong, I have always loved your father, but I wasn't really ready for a marriage. There's more to it than just stepping in front of the altar."
"I gave the ring back to Davis," she confessed quietly. "I told him I didn't want to marry yet."
"It's okay to change your mind," I said softly. "Did you argue with him about it?"
She shook her head. "We didn't argue. He even reacted pretty cool. But I know that this is just an act. In truth, he is not happy with my decision."
I looked at my daughter in surprise. From the little girl of that time, had become a confident young woman with foresight and compassion. "Your life won't change much when you're married," I said. "You already live together."
"Does that mean you're suggesting marrying him?" She asked, frowning.
"It's your decision. I won't tell you what to do. I think I should have trusted you more from the start, as far as that goes. Maybe then you would have more faith in me these days."
"I think I'll have a cookie now," Lydia said, smiling. "I love your cookies, I've missed the scent of it while they are baking in the oven."
Now I was the one who had to fight back tears. We finished our lesson and went over to the kitchen where I made her a cocoa and then put down a plate of cookies. Satisfied smiling, I watched as she ate all of my cookies with great appetite. It was a moment that reminded me of earlier times, when Lydia and I had no secrets to each other. I hoped that the ice was broken after our talk and we would become mother and daughter again.
"Thanks for the cookies and the chat!"
I hugged her. "You're welcome. And if you have more on your mind, you can always call or come over, okay?"
She nodded. "Say Dad 'Hi' from me. And Jamie, too. See you next week again."
I looked after her, until she got into her car and drove off, then went back inside and closed the door.
