Practice of gynecology, Tree Hill

A few weeks later

I knew something was wrong, when I threw up, after eating Haley's Christmas cookies. But I blamed it on an upset stomach, because I had felt sick every now and then the days before already. But when the symptoms even lasted during the turn of the year and even more of them came along, like tiredness, straining breasts and ravenous appetite, I was sure those were all signs for an early menopause. It wasn't surprising, because my mother had reached this point in the middle of her forties, too. Even when I was just about to turn 40, there wasn't any other explanation for my health problems. Especially while I didn't get my period twice now, which usually was always punctual. To confirm my own diagnosis I made an appointment with my gynecologist after all, who, after an accurate examination, cheerfully told me…, "Congratulations, Mrs Baker! You're pregnant!" I looked at her, as if she just grew two heads, and was sure she must have made a mistake. But the ultrasound picture she gave me definitely proved that there was something growing inside my uterus. And it wasn't a small dot anymore, but clearly recognizable as an embryo.

"I would say, because of the size of the embryo, I reckon you are between the 12th and 13th week of pregnancy." She shifted her glasses up until her hairline and looked at me with questioning eyes. "Haven't you noticed any symptoms? The gain of weight, the absence of your menstrual period… anything?"

I closed my eyes, while I was waiting for her to wipe the gel off my stomach. "I thought those were signs for me going into menopause," I mumbled.

The doctor smiled. "Well, you are 39. That would be a little too early. Those symptoms aren't even typical for someone, who reaches menopause," she then said.

"I googled the symptoms," I admitted bashfully. "That's what I got out of it."

"I always advice my patients not to google their symptoms or diagnoses, because with that they often get wrong information. Online doctors can never replace real doctors," she said with a warning undertone in her voice. "You see how wrong they were with your 'diagnosis'."

I pulled down my pullover and sat up. "I wish I was right," I moaned frustratedly. "How am I supposed to tell my husband and my kids that we're having another child? My son became father only a few weeks ago. I mean, my grandson and my baby will be just a few month apart!"

The doctor smiled again. "You're already a big family, aren't you? One baby more or less doesn't really matter."

I sighed in the inside. She didn't have a clue! It would change everything. And it wasn't just a question of if we had enough room in our house.

"Assuming I'll have the baby," I began hesitantly, "what about the health risks?"

The doctor turned the pages of my patient record and then looked up. "Your twin pregnancy didn't go without complications, but the way I can see it here, you didn't have any problems with your daughter. Even when the birth was offhand."

I nodded. "I had a rupture of the membranes. We barely made it to the hospital back then, before Isabella came. But that's 16 years ago! I'm not 24 anymore."

"I always tell women that, if you got pregnant, your body is still fit enough to get through giving birth." She squeezed my hand encouraging. "I'm not going to lie to you. Of course the risk is high, when you deliver a baby that late. But nowadays many women in your age get pregnant, and they still give birth to healthy babies. And I don't see any problems in your particular case."

"My kids are 22, 18 and 16," I said mechanically. "I don't know, if I can go through all those stages of growth again. I'm going to be 40 in a few weeks." I moaned and moved a strand of hair out off my forehead. "I don't even know, if I actually want that!"

"Are you thinking about an abortion?"

I looked at her in shock. Did she really suggest me to let my own baby get killed? I shook my head. "No, I could… never do that," I stammered.

"What about adoption?"

I just stared at her. All the questions they had also asked Lydia back then, when she had gotten pregnant, now rained onto me just as well. But I was almost 40 and not 17 anymore.

"Maybe you should speak to your husband first," the doctor suggested, "in the end, it's a decision you should make together with your partner."

It was probably more of a discussion I had to have with the entire family. Because then there would be two babies living in our house. Anyway, our whole life would change. I got up. "Yes, thanks, I will do that," I said and put the ultrasound picture into my handbag.

"Your next appointment would be scheduled in four weeks then," the doctor said, "if you have any problems or more questions, feel free to call me."

I shook her hand, thanked her again and left the practice. Everything around me felt unreal, as I went to my car and got inside. I wished Julian was here. But he was far away, in Canada, where they did the shootings for his new movie. I couldn't reach him there or even bother him. But should I really wait, until he would come back, which was only in two weeks? I laid my hand onto my stomach. You still couldn't see the pregnancy. But you soon would. I thought about it for a moment, where I could go, before I drove the car onto the freeway and turn into the road to Haley's house. I just needed to talk to someone now. And she was my best friend. She had already supported and accompanied me during my other pregnancies. Nevertheless I was nervous, when I was standing in front of her door and then knocked.

"Hey, Brooke!" she greeted me and let me come in. "I'm making cookies right now. Do you want to eat some?"

I tried to breathe as flat as possible, because the scent of freshly baked still caused slight sickness. Even when not as bad as a few weeks ago. "No thanks!" I refused politely and followed her into the kitchen then. "Speaking of cookies…," I began hesitantly, "You remember how I threw up after enjoying your Christmas cookies?"

Haley nodded, while she pulled a plate out of the oven and put it down then. "Sure. First I thought it was because of the new spices I used. But it seemed to be caused by something else."

I nodded and took a deep breath then. "It was caused by something else," I acknowledged. "I know what it was now. I was at my gynecologist's, before I came here…" I stopped, when Haley looked at me with a frowning face. "It's… about… about hormones," I stuttered then. I saw her eyes becoming wider and her looking at me with a knowing gaze.

"Oh… that," she gave then and in a consoling manner laid her hand on my shoulder. "I still remember my mother going into menopause back then. She…"

I interrupted her, before she could make any more false conclusions, "No, I'm not in menopause," I admitted to her hesitantly. "I am… pregnant."

The plate of raw cookie dough she was about to put into the oven, slid out of her hands and fell to the ground with a clang. Her unbelieving, puzzled look hit me and I gave a groan in my inside.

"You are… pregnant?!"

I nodded hesitantly and pulled the ultrasound picture out of my bag and gave it to her. She stared at the picture first and then at me.

"Wow, it is… huge," she couldn't hold back. "How far are you?"

"13th week," I answered mechanically, "and before you ask why I didn't notice…," I took a deep breath, "I first thought I was in menopause, too."

Haley took my hand. "Come on! Let's go in the living room. I want to know everything."

"Don't you want to finish baking your cookies first?" I asked confusedly and pointed at the chaos in the kitchen.

She shook her head. "It can wait."

With a sigh I followed her, sat down next to her on the sofa and then spilled my guts to her.