CHAPTER 9

After the night of Skylar's long awaited release of emotions, Claire and Jamie took it upon themselves to watch Ollie for a few days so she could recover.

Part of her recovery was sleeping. She was sleeping 12, or sometimes more, hours a day. Now that her body was rid of all the built up anxiety and tension, it was exhausted and so grateful for this chance to shut down and relax.

Her body was also grateful for the other part of her recovery, eating. She had lost a lot of weight over the last months, and Claire was adamant about her needing to gain all of it back, if not a bit more. So when she wasn't sleeping, her family would take turns bringing her food. The individual person, or sometimes pairs, would take her meals and snacks several times a day and then stay with her while she ate. They would talk to her about whatever she wanted, be it Ian or subjects as far from him as possible. They just needed her to know that she was loved and supported, and they were all here to help her through whatever was to come next.

She eventually told them about Benjamin's proposal and how she had no idea what to do. She knew she didn't love him and she never would, but, "He's such a good man, and Ollie really likes him. A husband would provide stability and protection. Having a father would also secure Ollie's future and no one would question him being born in wedlock."

But her other side to her argument with herself was, "It isn't fair to him. He doesn't deserve someone who only wants to marry him for convenience. He deserves someone who truly loves him and wants him for him. And the idea of marrying someone else, it's already eating me alive. It would mean Ian is really out of my life for good, and that...God, it hurts to think about."

They would all tell her that this was completely her choice and she needed to do what was best for her. They emphasized that she would have their support whichever way she went. They sat and listened while she talked it through again and again, trying to make sense of what was the right thing to do, and shed tears over the guilt and confusion she felt over the situation.

She would still cry during these days. Her instinct was still to hold it in when her family was with her, but they kept reminding her that to do that was dangerous and would lead to another explosion. So she let everything flow out and, at last, was able to stop trying to hide it away at all.

After five days of sleeping, eating and feeling everything she needed to, she felt like she was ready to rejoin the world.

From the moment she appeared, Ollie was glued to her for 24 straight hours. He had been told that she was sick and needed to rest to get better; not a full lie, but a kind of truth that he would understand. He kept touching her forehead to check for a fever and would ask if her tummy hurt, like she would with him. He didn't know what was wrong with his mom, but he could sense something was off with her and just wanted to help make her feel better. When she was holding him, he would stroke her hair and repeat the single line, "Ladder blue, ladder green, dilly dilly," as his attempt at Lavender's Blue, since whenever he didn't feel good, she would do the same. It would make Skylar smile and she would hug him tight.

Everyone insisted that Skylar still take it easy and not throw herself back into her regular routine. She didn't argue.

She didn't go outside much at first, and when she did, she always made sure it was a time when the area around the Big House was empty, or as close to empty as she could handle. She was aware of the rumors and gossip spreading around about her recent absence from the Ridge life. There had been a couple extra witnesses to her breakdown that didn't understand the concept of keeping out of people's business. When she was around people, she would notice them staring at her and would feel like an animal in a zoo. So she wanted as few non family around her as much as possible so she wouldn't have to feel their silent judgements and questions.

She was also using this to avoid seeing Benjamin for as long as she could get away with. In addition to letting Skylar know if/what people were saying about her, Claire, Bree and Marsali would tell her every time Benjamin would come up to one of them and ask about her.

"He hasn't mentioned anything about his proposal," Claire told her one night after not showing her face around the Ridge for three days. The four women were sitting in Skylar's room while Fergus and Roger watched the kids; Skylar on her bed holding a pillow against her stomach, and the others on chairs. "He's more so just very worried about you."

"He says that he was able to see that something was wrong and you haven't been yourself for a while. He's concerned that you haven't been around lately," Bree added.

Marsali continued, "But we've only been tellin' him that after a bit of rest, yer on the mend and all shall be right soon. We also havena said anythin' te him about knowin' about his proposal."

"God, I'm such an idiot." She dropped her face into the pillow. She took a long breath in and out, then raised her head again. "Why did I ever think this was an okay idea? I should have stopped it after that first night. And now it's all just a giant mess."

"Have you thought any more about your answer?" Claire asked her.

"It's all I think about. And I keep going back and forth with why it would be a good thing, and then also why it would be the biggest mistake of my life." The three in front of her sat patiently while she thought out loud once more. "If I marry him, it'll offer security and...all that other important stuff having a husband gives you in this world. Ollie would be happy. He'd have a father, a real in person right here father. And he loves Benjamin, there wouldn't be a better choice in his eyes."

"But would you be happy, Skylar? That's also extremely important. It's your life as well."

"Ollie is my life. He comes before anything, including me."

"That doesn't answer my question. Would you be happy as Mistress Allaway?"

Skylar stared at Claire, the long hesitation giving Claire her answer.

She still spoke, "I don't love him, and I know I never will. I've been treating him like dirt, worse than dirt, for too long. I couldn't do that to him for the rest of our lives. A one-sided marriage isn't a marriage. It's a...I don't know what it would be, but we certainly would not be happy. Neither of us." She sighed and a few tears slipped down from her eyes. She wiped them away and groaned. "Jesus, why can't I stop crying?"

Bree gave her a kind smile and moved to sit next to her, wrapping her arms around her. "You buried them deep for over two years, dear sister. They're gonna keep coming until they're all gone. And they will be, very soon, as long as you don't hold them back anymore."

Thankfully, Skylar was reminded of an upcoming event that offered a distraction. She, Claire, Jamie, Bree and Roger had all been invited to the wedding of Jocasta Cameron and Duncan Innes at River Run. They had received the invitation a month previous and had all responded they would attend. It was now only a week before they had to leave, and Jamie assured Skylar that no repercussion would come from her staying home. She said that she still wanted to go.

"If only for an excuse to get really dressed up and eat fancy food," she would joke.

But she really just wanted to get away from the Ridge for a few days and be surrounded by people who didn't know about her situation.

I just need a break from the rumors and looks of judgement.

Her stance on attending swiftly shifted however when, just a day before they were set to leave for River Run, Ollie came down with a cold.

Jemmy had been showing symptoms of a cold as well a day or two earlier, and it quickly spread to Ollie. Roger and Bree had decided that they would sit out the wedding to take care of Jemmy, and Skylar announced she would do the same.

But Brianna insisted that she still go.

"We can take care of Ollie," she told her sister. "You don't have to worry."

"You already have your own sick kid. Having two of them will be too much."

"Exactly though, there's two of them and two of us. It works out perfect."

"Bree, I really appreciate it, but it is not fair to you guys to put this-"

"Sky, I know that you want to be with Ollie, but I think having this time for yourself away from here is something you really need. You have a lot going on right now, and taking care of Ollie when he's sick is only going to put more pressure and stress on you. Use the space from...certain people to clear your head and really think about the decisions you need to make."

Skylar did not want to leave her son, especially when he really needed her. But she heard what Bree was saying. She needed to give Benjamin an answer. She had made him wait for far too long now and she couldn't even imagine what he was thinking. So, as much as it killed her to do it, she agreed that Ollie would stay with them.

"Why I no go with you?" Ollie asked her as she finished packing a bag of his things to take over to Bree and Roger. He was sitting on his bed and kept sniffing and wiping his nose on his sleeve.

She smiled at him and picked up her handkerchief from her side table. She knelt in front of him and wiped his nose with it.

"Trust me, bubba, you don't want to come. It's going to be very boring and full of grownups. You're going to have so much more fun here. And I'll be back before you know it." She fluttered the handkerchief across his face, making him giggle.

"I stay with Benji?"

Her stomach turned. "No, sweetheart. You're gonna stay with Auntie Bree, Uncle Roger and Jemmy. I told you that, remember?" He nodded, even though she could tell he did not.

He sniffed some more and coughed. "When I see Benji again?"

Her chest tightened and she inhaled slowly and let it out, all while keeping the smile on her face. While she had been avoiding Benjamin, Ollie also had not seen him. She felt for selfish for depriving her child of spending time with someone he admired, but she didn't think it was a good idea while she was still figuring out what to do regarding his proposal.

"Soon, Ollie. I promise," she told him. "Now, do you want to carry Bibbet or should I put him in your bag with Sam?" She held up his rag bunny that he had sitting on his bed.

"I carry! I carry! Am big an' strong!"

She smiled. "Okay, Mr. Big Boy. All yours." He took the rabbit and hugged it tight. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah!" He reached up to her and she picked him up, slung his bag over her shoulder and headed to the Mackenzies.

When she dropped him off, she handed Bree a letter.

"Can you give this to Benjamin for me, please?"

"Of course." Bree took it. "Can I ask what it-"

"I'm going to give him an answer when I get back. That's what it says. I'm gonna do what you said and use this time away to really think things through and I'm going to make a decision, one way or another. I have to."

"Just make sure it's the best one for you, alright? You need to be happy in your life too, Sky."

She gave Bree only a tight smile in reply. She hugged Ollie goodbye for the tenth time and wished Bree and Roger luck with the boys.

"It's two wee toddlers wi' a cold. What's the worst that could happen?" Roger said. "It isna like a plague of frogs or locusts will descend should they sneeze or cough."

Skylar chuckled. She called, once more, to Ollie, but he was too busy with Jemmy to respond. With some ushering from Bree, Skylar walked out of the cabin and went to join Jamie and Claire in the wagon.

On the morning of their sixth day of travelling, they arrived at River Run. Skylar's stomach was in knots when the magnificent mansion came into view. She hadn't been there since she was pregnant with Ollie; and as they walked up the path to the door, she looked down at the ground and was flooded with memories of when she was told Ian had left her.

"Where's Ian?" With the same pain Jamie and Claire had looking at Brianna, they looked at her. Where's Ian?" she asked again, panic starting to set in. They didn't answer her. "Please tell me where the hell he is right now."

"Ian gave himself te stay in Roger's place. He decided te stay and live amongst the Mohawk so that we could take Roger back."

The world fell silent around Skylar and everything seemed hazy, her vision fading in and out of black. She shook her head over and over and she kept saying, growing more hysterical, "No. No, he…he promised. He swore to me that he would come back to me. He gave me his word! He wouldn't do that! He wouldn't just leave me like that! No! No, you're lying!" She was seeing black spots and was starting to hyperventilate. She grasped at her chest and her legs gave out, making her fall to the ground.

She truly thought that in this moment her heart was going to give out and she was going to die.

She forced her eyes back up and forward and told herself, Stop it. We're not thinking about that. We're here for a happy occasion. It's in the past. Thinking about will only hurt.

Like she could sense Skylar's anxiety rising, Claire put a compassionate arm around her and held her close as they went. Skylar glanced up at her. She gave a small smile in thanks, and held onto Claire's hand that was resting on her shoulder.

They walked through the door and Skylar looked around, taking in the enormous and wealthily decorated foyer.

It seems even more massive than I remember, she thought. She felt intimated by it, very similar to when she first stepped foot in it.

"Ulysses, it's good te see ye, man," Jamie spoke when the other man walked in.

"Mr. Fraser, Mistress Fraser, Mistress Murray," he greeted each of them individually. They smiled and nodded in response, and Skylar added a small curtsy. "If you'll follow me into the parlor, your aunt is very happy to welcome you."

Skylar's whole body tensed as they followed Ulysses. After the conversation she and Jocasta had at Bree and Roger's wedding, she wasn't too keen on the idea of having to be around her when she did not absolutely have to be.

At least I can get away with not smiling at her, or even looking at her.

"Mistress," Ulysses announced when they walked into the other room. "Your nephew and his family are here."

Jocasta looked up from her chair by the fireplace and smiled. "Thank ye, Ulysses." She stood up and crossed to the three. "How good it feels te be in yer company yet again," she said to them as she interacted with each. Jamie kissed her hand while Claire and Skylar kissed her cheek. Jocasta could feel the tension coming off of Skylar as when she sharply pulled away from the older woman, Jocasta kept her sightless gaze on her for an extra beat. Skylar just looked to the floor and grit her teeth.

Jamie could feel it to and quickly moved on. "Our warmest and most heartfelt congratulations te ye and Duncan, Auntie. I've no doubt ye'll have a long and happy life tegether."

"I thank ye. Mr. Innes and I are lookin' forward te just bein' settled and livin' the rest of our lives in comfort."

It should be Murtagh, Skylar thought.

When news of Jocasta and Duncan Innes' engagement reached the Ridge, shock was an understatement at what they felt. They had thought that once everything had come to pass with the Regulators, she and Murtagh would have made their way back to each other and would finally be together and marry. They had no way of getting in contact with Murtagh to get his take on this, but talking to Jocasta here and now about her soon to be husband, the indifferent look on her face spoke everything she couldn't say out loud. This wasn't a marriage for love, but for ease and stability; and that was something Skylar could not get out of her head.

"Where is Duncan?" Jamie asked. "I'd love te see him and catch up. It's been quite some time since our Ardsmuir days."

"I believe he is out on the back porch. I'm certain he would be delighted te see ye." Jamie smiled and kissed Jocasta's hand again. He squeezed Claire's hand and touched Skylar's shoulder on his way out. Jocasta continued to the two women. "Yer rooms have been prepared fer ye. I'm sure ye would like te have a rest after yer travels."

"That would be like wonderful. I'm afraid the long journey has tired us out a bit. Don't you agree, Skylar?"

"Mm hm," was Skylar's only response.

Claire looked back and forth between her and Jocasta, waiting to see if Skylar would say anything else. When she didn't, Claire covered the awkward silence. "Yes, some good sleep in a proper bed will put us in the right spirits for tomorrow."

"Aye, of course," Jocasta said. "Yer bags should have been brought up te yer rooms. If there is anythin' ye need at all, Mary or Phaedra will be upstairs te help ye."

"Thank you, Jocasta. We'll see you downstairs soon."

Jocasta smiled, and Claire and Skylar turned to leave and headed up the stairs.

"You are going to have to talk to her this weekend, you know," Claire said to Skylar as they went, meaning Jocasta.

"I know that. But it's like I said back home, I'm really only here to get dressed up all fancy, eat expensive food, and clear my mind so I can think straight about things. So, I will talk to her, but only when I have to."

"Skylar, believe me, I am definitely not her biggest fan. What she said to you at the wedding was very wrong, but she is Jamie's aunt and maybe while we're here, you could-"

"She called Ollie a bastard." Skylar stopped walking and turned to face Claire. "She knows how I feel about that word and that it's not true. Not only that, she told me I need to tell people that…I need to say that Ian is dead, so that the "truth" never comes out. Those aren't things that I can so easily forgive and forget. I don't care if it was over a year ago. Until she apologizes to me, she is on my shit list. This is me." They stopped in front of the door that led into Skylar's room. She reached for the door handle but paused before opening it. She felt chills run through her and her nausea was back.

Claire noticed her hesitation. "Are you alright, Skylar?"

She shook herself out of the trance she had slipped into. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just, my mind went elsewhere for a second. I'll see you later." Then she went into her room and closed the door.

She leaned against it and slowly scanned her eyes around the room. Memories from it flashed through her mind.

Her first time walking into it.

As Skylar closed the door and turned around, her jaw dropped when she saw the room. This one bedroom was practically the size of Jamie's whole Edinburgh printshop.

When she at last told Ian the truth about being from the future.

"Skylar, what do ye mean 'in yer time'?" he asked again.

After debating with herself for another long silent beat, she slowly turned to face him.

"Ian…I-I…I'm…I'm not, from here."

"What are ye sayin'?"

"I'm not from this…century. I was born December 9, 2003, in the 21st Century. And I came here from the year 2019."

"Ye thought that a small thing like bein' from a time 200 years from now would stop me from lovin' ye?"

Figuring out that she was pregnant.

Skylar continued into her room. She laid on her bed and closed her eyes.

Omigod, pregnant. Can you imagine if I actually ended up being- Wait…omigod…oh fuck.

And telling Bree.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Skylar looked up at the voice and saw Brianna standing in her room. We should get the doctor out here to check on you."

"No. No, we really don't have to do that."

"Something is wrong, Skylar. You're throwing up, you're always dizzy and tired. This isn't normal."

"I know it's not. But…there's nothing wrong with me. It's…it's just, um…I-I…I'm, um…"

Bree's face slowly became more serious as she understood.

"Skylar…are you pregnant?"

"Yes. Yes, I am."

But the one that was the most prevalent in her mind was her world had fallen apart.

Once in her room, she slammed the door and faced it. She stared at it silently for a moment, then let out a bloodcurdling scream with the word, "WHY?!"

She dropped to the floor and broke down. Once she started, she couldn't stop. She brought herself to sit against the door and was screaming all the while she was crying harder than she ever had. She reached for the bin she knew was near her door and threw up into it.

"How could he do this? He knew I was waiting here for him."

"I promise ye, lass, this was not an easy choice fer him. He kent all too well how hurt ye'd be."

"Yet he still made the choice."

"He asked me te give this te ye," Jamie continued. He took something out of his pocket and put it in Skylar's hand. It was the necklace from her mother that she had given him as a wedding ring. She let out a sob seeing it and covered her mouth, trying to keep more sobs in. "He kent ye would want it back."

There were several times where she felt that she no longer wanted to continue living. She would look at the letter opener lying on the small table, or out her window, wondering if one method would be less painful and quicker than the other.

She grasped the heart charm on her necklace and released the breath she felt like she had been holding since they arrived.

I can get through this. I'm not going to break again.

She figured it might actually be a good idea to rest for a little while, so she went to her bed and laid down on top of all the blankets.

She remembered that awful night their first time at River Run, where a mob of irrationally angry white men murdered an already dead black man. After, Ian and Skylar laid together on this bed and he held her tight against him.

Skylar was fading in and out as Ian carried her up the stairs to her room. She felt him lay her on the bed and she took his hand before he walked away.

"Don't leave," she said to him, half asleep.

"I'm just closin' the door. I'm no goin' anywhere," he assured her.

She felt the mattress shift as he laid next to her. He wrapped his arms around her and held her so that her back was pressed into his chest.

She rolled on her side and clenched her eyes shut. She wrapped her arms around her stomach and tried to fall asleep, imagining it was Ian.

She woke up a few hours later. It was still very bright in her room and even hotter than it had been before, so she knew it was sometime in the afternoon.

She rolled onto her back and sighed. She put her hands on her stomach, and she was brought back to when she was pregnant with Ollie and the hundreds of times she did that same small action. She smiled, remembering how happy and excited she had been when she found out she was pregnant. She remembered feeling him kicking and not letting her rest comfortably in any sort of position. But she found she missed that. She ran her hands down her stomach, wishing that she could magically be pregnant again.

But without doing what needs to happen to make a baby.

As much as she would love to have another baby and give Ollie a sibling, she still did not want to have one with another man. It was one of the many reasons she felt she should not marry Benjamin.

That would be such a major thing for him to give up, and it wouldn't be fair to ask him to do that. And it could also be very easy to accidentally get pregnant as I've realized. What happens then when it's not just a scare?

Early on in her time with Benjamin, she had skipped a month on her period. She had always been irregular and still was, but she hadn't skipped a full month since Ollie had been born. She had also been nauseas and exhausted all of the time, which she know understood was because of her consuming anxiety, and she got very scared. Luckily, her period came back the next month and it came each month after. She never told anyone about it.

It had been terrifying not knowing, but the thought that she could have to raise a child with a man she did not want that life with had been even worse.

But Ollie would have been so happy to have a little brother or sister, she thought, pressing her hands harder into her stomach. Am I really this selfish? He could have everything he's ever wanted, and I want to deprive him of that. He needs to come first, nothing is more important.

She was starting to get flustered by her conflicting thoughts, so she pushed herself up and changed into some clean clothes from her bag, then went outside to get some fresh air.

As she passed the parlor in her way to the door, she glanced in and saw Jamie speaking with Jocasta and Duncan. There was other business that he needed to attend to while they were here and they were likely discussing that. Gerald Forbes, as a wedding guest, would be bringing with him a contract that named Jemmy as the heir of River Run. Jocasta would sign it, with Jamie as a witness, and it would be put into action immediately. It made Skylar's chest tighten, remembering the conversation she and Jocasta shared when the older woman informed the younger about her reasoning behind this choice.

"Ye must ken that the estate could not be run by a one who is...in the situation that wee Ollie is."

"And what situation would that be?"

She just stood on the porch with her hands on the railing, looking out at the people she still had enslaved working on getting everything set up perfectly for the next day's party.

She was trying to get Jocasta and her words out of her head, but she was interrupted when she heard a man clear his throat. She turned to look and saw Ulysses standing beside Jocasta.

"Mistress Cameron would like a word with you, Mistress Murray," he said to Skylar.

"Of course," she replied.

Not like I really have any choice.

"Thank ye, Ulysses. I can handle meself from here," Jocasta spoke.

"I shall be just inside." He gave a bow to Skylar then walked back into the house.

Skylar faced back out and gripped the railing again, this time more forcefully. After the conversation she had with Jocasta at Bree and Roger's wedding, she wasn't too keen on being around her when she didn't have to be.

Jocasta crossed the porch to stand next to her.

"I was hopin' ye have a private moment wi' ye before the festivities temorrow."

"Well, here it is."

"I ken ye harbor bitter feelin's tewards me because of what I said te ye when I saw ye last."

Skylar rolled her eyes. That's one way of putting it.

"And fer that, I wanted te apologize. Perhaps I…spoke out of turn and me words were not chosen correctly." Skylar looked at her Great-Aunt. She couldn't believe that she was actually acknowledging that she had done something wrong. "''Twas no my intention of offendin' ye, and I truly do apologize fer havin' done so."

"Thank you. I appreciate that."

"I dinna want there te be any bad blood betwixt us." She held her hand out for Skylar to take. "Ye are as much me niece as Brianna, and Ollie is as much me family as Jemmy. I never want ye te think that ye or he is any less."

"Thank you, Great-Auntie."

"Now, though I do still say ye need te be married by a priest and give Oliver a father-"

"Oh, Christ," Skylar muttered and took her hand back.

"-I do ken there's no use wastin' me breath on it," Jocasta went on. "Yer heart and soul belong te one man, and ye've no intention of sharin' that wi' another. Ye've made that perfectly clear. So, this is me promise te ye that I will no approach the subject again, so long as word among the people remains that ye were once married te Ollie's father and that he is, simply put, gone." Skylar's hands tightened into the wood in front of her and she stared out. "Though no blood of Jamie's runs through ye, ye are most definitely yer father's daughter. Yer stubbornness and pride are identical. But as is yer loyalty and faithfulness te the ones ye love. And that is verra admirable."

Skylar swallowed and closed her eyes. "Thank you, Great-Auntie. That's very kind."

Jocasta gave a kind smile and touched her shoulder, then went back inside to see to her guests.

Skylar kept her eyes closed and inhaled deeply. She held it for a moment before letting it out slowly through her mouth. Benjamin's proposal kept playing in her head, and Jocasta's words about giving up the fight of her having a husband made it ramp up.

Ollie does need a father. Jocasta's right about that. Even if it's not his real father, he needs someone that's here with him, in person every day. Not hundreds of miles away and unaware of his existence. She's also right about my stubbornness and faithfulness to Ian. But are those just getting in the way of what's best for Ollie?

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More and more guests that would be staying the night at River Run arrived during the day. One of them being John Grey. Skylar let out a sigh of relief when she saw him.

"Thank God for a friendly face," she said to him when she met him in the parlor with Jamie and Claire. She had been hiding out in her room for the last couple hours, trying to avoid the unwanted advances of Jocasta's male friends for as long as she was able to. But she hurried out and downstairs when Claire told her John had arrived.

"As always, a pleasure and honor to be in your company, Skylar," he said back, bowing to her. She curtsied in response with a smile. "Your father was telling me that Brianna and Roger were unable to attend."

"Yes, they have the pleasure and honor of caring for two sick little boys. Jemmy and Ollie both have a cold."

"I'm so sorry to hear that."

"It's very minor. Just some runny noses and coughs. Not quite the Bubonic Plague."

After surviving the rest of the day and resisting the urge to slap at least five men for their disgusting remarks, she went to bed, hoping the next day would be over quickly.

Phaedra woke her up far too early for her liking to get her ready. As part of the Fraser family, she needed to look pristine. So, she was washed and scrubbed until she was so clean she was almost reflective and then sat in her vanity chair while Phaedra pulled and twisted her hair until it was in the perfect updo. After being tied into layer upon layer of undergarments and petticoats, Phaedra opened up her wardrobe to find the right dress to put her in.

"There are all the ones ye had from the last time ye were here. Of course they're likely a little big now that yer not with child, but we'll be able te cinch it nice and tight."

"Wonderful," Skylar said sarcastically. Phaedra didn't pick up on it. She just went into the wardrobe and looked through the dresses.

"How about this one, Mistress? I recall ye looked so lovely in it. Twas yer favorite, no?"

Skylar's heart twisted as she looked over the one Phaedra had pulled out. It was the white one with pink flowers and green vines. It was still as beautiful as ever. Phaedra was right, it had been her favorite. But now, looking at it, it made her sad. She remembered the first time she put it on and Ian saw her in it.

"What? Do I-does it look okay?" she asked, nervous for his answer. If Ian didn't like how she looked in it, she would immediately take it off and never even think about it again.

"Yer the most exquisite creature I've ever laid eyes on," he told her. She felt her face get warm as she bit her lip to control the smile spreading on her face.

"You really like it?" Skylar asked him again, needing the confirmation. "It's not too…I don't know."

"It's perfect, as are ye." He walked to her, and put one hand on her waist and the other under her hair at the base of her head. "Yer like an angel."

"Mistress?" Phaedra said again. Skylar's attention snapped back.

"Um…it-it is very beautiful. But, I think I've worn that one a few too many time here. Perhaps another one? Wouldn't want everyone to think I have only one dress." She forced out a chuckle.

Phaedra agreed and put it back. They settled on another one that was a forest green color with lace at the ends of the half sleeves, making them three-quarter length, and pink flowers embroidered down the torso and skirt.

When she was done, too many hours later, she went to find Jamie and Claire. She found them on the porch, looking out at the party that was already in full swing with twice as many guests as there had been the night before. They looked at her as she went to stand next to Jamie.

"You look so beautiful, Skylar," Claire complimented her. "Green is such a lovely color on you. We should get some green fabric to make more clothes out of."

"You mean, you make clothes out of. Do you recall when I tried to make Ollie a pair of pants just a couple months ago and one leg was far shorter than the other?" The women laughed at the memory. Jamie let out a dry chuckle, moving his gaze back to the crowd.

"Are you alright, Dad?" Skylar asked him.

"It should be Murtagh at Jocasta's side," he said. She followed his gaze and saw that he wasn't staring at the crowd in general, but at his aunt and Duncan Innes standing together and speaking to friends. "Instead, here I am, rubbin' shoulder wi' the verra devils who'd see him dead."

"Is Tryon here already?"

Jamie just nodded, and Claire took his arm.

"You can't be so hard on yourself," she told him. "You asked him to wait. If Murtagh isn't here today, then that's his own choice."

"And you know that the further away he is from here, the safer he is," Skylar added. "If he stays out of sight for long enough, Tryon will have to give up the fight. He's already given mercy to the other Regulators. He'll back down from Murtagh sooner or later."

When he didn't respond, Claire changed the subject. "Come on." She brought the two of them in front of her. "Let's try and enjoy the day for Jocasta's sake." She took one of each of their hands.

"Aye," Jamie said, giving his wife a small smile.

"Okay," Skylar also agreed.

Jamie then led them to join the party.

As they walked into the pavilion, they saw some of the guests participating in a dance, John Grey included.

"He looks like he's having so much fun," Skylar whispered to Claire as they took a champagne and stood to the side to watch. They snickered.

John looked like he was being held at gunpoint dancing with these women. But when the music at last ended, Skylar saw his body relax and he walked off the dance floor before any of the women could approach him. He went to his three friends once he turned around and saw them.

"Very impressive, John," Skylar told him.

"I had no idea you were such a good dancer," Claire went on.

"Well, to tell you the truth, I'm not certain I am," he admitted. He, with the others following, looked back to what appeared to be his fan club, stealing quick flirty glances at him and giggling. "I think I must've danced with every girl in the province."

"All of them hopin' te secure an advantageous match with Lord John Grey, no doubt," Jamie guessed.

"It's is the social event of the year. If wager there's not a single young lacy in North Carolina who'd forfeit her chance to be worshipped in Cupid's Grove tonight."

"I wouldn't speak so soon," Skylar interjected.

"Much to your Great-Aunt's disdain, I imagine?"

"She told me yesterday that she's given up trying to push me into marriage. We'll see how long she keeps that promise for. My wager is by dinner tonight."

"Speakin' of never missin' a chance te be worshipped," Jamie said, looking off. They all looked in the same direction and saw the aforementioned Governor Tryon mingling with some of the high society elite.

The four of them looked to each other and all had the same thought. But as much as they would've loved to be able to avoid him, it was their duty to go greet him. Like pulling teeth, they made their way over. Tryon saw them coming and stepped out of his conversation.

"Ah, Lord John Grey, Colonel Fraser. This is an advantageous meeting."

"Good day," John Grey said first.

Jamie followed. "Your Excellency."

"Mistress Fraser, Mistress Murray, delighted to see you both again."

"Your Excellency," Claire replied with a curtsy.

Skylar did the same as she said, "The please is ours."

Claire turned to his wife. "Mistress Tryon."

"Her Excellency, if you don't mind," Tryon corrected.

"My apologizes."

"Pay him no mind, Mistress Fraser. I usually insist upon the title as a reminder to him."

Skylar tightened her smile to hold back a laugh.

She seems cool. I like her. I like this one.

She then looked at Skylar. "Pardon me, young lady, but I don't believe we've had the pleasure of being formally introduced. Mistress Murray, is it?"

"Please excuse my rudeness," Jamie apologized. "This is our daughter, Skylar Murray."

Skylar curtsied again. "It's wonderful to meet you, Excellency."

"Of course now that he's finally begun introducing me this way to the good people of North Caroline, and with it catching on, we're leaving for New York. Typical."

Seriously? One of the rich wives I actually like and she's leaving?

"New York?" Claire repeated.

Mistress Tryon looked to her husband to explain, but he very quickly changed the subject, and introduced the man to his left.

"May I introduce the honorable Judge Martin Atticus?"

"Yer servant, sir," Jamie said to the man, all of them bowing or curtsying respectively.

They were interrupted by an outburst a little ways away from them.

Two men were in a heated argument, one of them shouting, "I swear, if I had my gloves, I would throw one down. Then we would see who any sense of good old-fashioned honor." The one yelling was swiftly ushered away.

"Good Lord, who is that man?" Tryon asked the judge.

"Quincy Arbuckle, Your Excellency. Always at least one self-righteous pillock at a wedding."

Their small group chuckled at the answer, and Tryon replied, "I'm quite surprised by your language, You Honor, but I can't say I disagree."

"And what's worse is I'm certain I attract them. The moment anyone discovers that I'm a judge, suddenly everyone in the vicinity is a moral philosopher or expert in matters of the law."

Men even mansplain to other men in this time? Jeez, Skylar thought.

"Well, my most recent legislative victory was a stroke of genius, if I may say so."

"Indeed," Jamie said, fulfilling the part of his oath to Tryon that was to inflate his ego. "We are fortunate to have a Governor so wise and merciful te offer pardons te these dishonorable men."

"My, news does travel slow in the backcountry," Tryon teased. "You have a fellow Scotsman, Samuel Johnston, to thank for proposing it; an Act for Preventing Tumultuous and Riotous Assembly, prohibiting ten men or more from gathering under certain circumstances."

"The reason being if men cannot gather, they cannot conspire," John explained in laymen's terms.

"Yes, exactly."

If the Regulators are willing to go to war over the taxes Tryon has set, what in the hell makes him think they're going to listen to some little rule about how many men can be in one room? Skylar questioned in her head. She dared not to say anything of the sort out loud, but she couldn't help but think if he actually thought this would work.

Tryon went on, "If only I thought to do such a thing sooner, then Lieutenant Knox might be with us still."

Skylar glanced from the corner of her eyes to Jamie, who appeared unchanged. He had been the cause for Knox's death after he found out about Jamie's relation and loyalty to Murtagh and threatened to have him arrested and hanged. But he showed no questionable reaction to the Governor's statement.

"Good heavens, Your Excellency. Am I to be forever reminding you of proper etiquette?" Mistress Tryon whispered to him. In her normal voice, she said, "Very sad indeed, terribly so, but not an appropriate conversation for such an auspicious day. Or in front of such a lovely young girl." She gestured to Skylar.

Skylar smiled and nodded her head in acknowledgment. "I thank you, Excellency. I must admit, when my father told me of Lieutenant Knox's passing, I was grief stricken."

How many lies am I gonna have to tell today? I could make a drinking game out of it.

"My apologies for upsetting you, a Mistress Murray," Tryon said to her, and she did a half curtsy as a reply.

His wife then said to Skylar and Claire, "Come, let's leave the men to their morbid talk of politics."

"Let's," Claire agreed, and the three went off.

As they went, Mistress Tryon whispered to them, "I hear there's a game of high stakes whist taking place later. I find it very beguiling watching men gamble away their fortunes." They laughed softly and continued into the yard.

"Now, Mistress Murray, I would love so much to get know you a bit more."

"Of course. But please, Excellency, call me Skylar."

"Only if you will call me Margaret, my dear."

Skylar smiled. "Very well."

"I'm so intrigued to know, you do not speak with the accent of either of your parents."

"Skylar isn't our daughter by blood," Claire explained. "Jamie and I took her in back in Scotland, after she had lost her parents."

"Oh, you poor thing. How old were you?"

"I was 16."

"Well, it seems like you couldn't have found better people to care for you."

"I really couldn't. I'm exceptionally lucky."

"We are the lucky ones, sweetheart. We love her as much as though I birthed her." Claire hugged Skylar around her shoulders and kissed her head.

"And so, Murray, that is your married name?"

"Yes, it is."

"How long have you and your husband been married?"

"Um, a little over two years."

She said nothing about the handfast because she knew the next question was going to be about Ollie, and Margaret Tryon certainly wasn't going to see the technically of Ollie's birth being in wedlock.

"How sweet. You're basically still newlyweds."

"It certainly feels that way sometimes." She felt Claire put a hand on her shoulder as support for her talking about Ian.

"Have you any children yet?" she followed up with, just like Skylar expected.

"We do, a little boy. He just turned two."

"My, you and your husband certainly did not waste any time starting a family."

"No, we really did not."

"How did you meet? I'm sorry for only asking about your love life, but what can I say, I'm a romantic."

"No need to apologize. I love talking about him."

This is ripping my heart in half. Please just ask about anything else, she thought through her plastered on fake smile.

She still gave an answer. "He's actually Jamie's nephew. We met just after Jamie and Claire brought me into their family. You could say it was love at first sight for both of us."

"How absolutely heartwarming."

"Very." Skylar squeezed her champagne glass tighter. She could feel the infamous lump in her throat begin to rise. She hadn't talked about Ian this much in this way for a very long time.

Thankfully, Claire diverted the conversation.

"You said that you and the Governor are leaving for New York. Are you looking forward to going north?"

"I'm not saddened to leave the palace at New Bern. The building has certain elegant amenities, but I've never felt comfortable there."

Claire haphazardly looked out towards the River and nearly spit out the sip of her drink she had just taken.

"My God, is that Philip Wylie?"

"Who?" Skylar asked. She looked where Claire had and saw a man standing on what looked like a sort of canoe, being rowed to shore. He was dressed like he was extremely wealthy and even from the distance, the amount of white makeup in his face was blinding.

"You know him?" Margaret asked Claire.

"It's hard to tell under all that powder, but yes. I met him at a dinner in Wilmington. Though, I found him rather…"

"Persistent?" Margaret finished for her.

"I was going to say annoying," Claire laughed.

"Ugh, he looks annoying," Skylar commented as she watched step off his boat and onto the land. She could practically feel the air of entitlement and toxic masculinity around him. His walking stick did nothing to help matters.

An 18th century fuck boy.

"Ever since he returned from Paris, he's become an insufferable dandy, not to mention a rake," Margaret informed them. "Rumor has it he's in an obscene amount of debt after losing his fortune to gambling and in houses of ill repute."

"Well, he's coming towards us," Claire announced. Skylar looked back at him and, sure enough, he was headed in their direction.

"Towards you," Margaret told her. And she was right. Philip Wylie's eyes were set on Claire. "But perhaps I can distract him for you."

"I'd thank you for that. I'd like to keep him away from, not just me, but my pretty young daughter for as long as is able."

"Fear not. I am the wife of a politician, after all. It's a particular talent of mine." With that, she went off, calling to him.

When she was gone, Skylar said to Claire, "You don't have to worry. If he tries something on me, he looks like someone I can break in half easily."

"Well, let's hope we don't have to find out if that's true."

The conversation between two women on the bench behind them drew their attention at the mention of a certain doctor's name.

"You should have seen the look on Robert's face when I told him that there were certain times during the month from now on when he would be sleeping in the guest chamber," one of them said to her friend.

"And he agreed to it?"

"Well, what could he say? There it was written in plain ink, the words of this Rawlings physician. He was cursing the day that women were taught to read."

Skylar very gently touched Claire's arm, knowing they were actually talking about her. Claire had told her that when they were in Brownsville, she found out that some of her writings as Dr. Rawlings had accidentally been published in the newspaper along with the enlistment announcement Fergus had brought to the printer. It had made quite a stir in Brownsville, and apparently in the upper class too.

"But don't you think it a little sacrilegious?" the other woman asked. "A child is a divine blessing. If it's God's will, what sort of woman would willingly prevent herself from bearing one?"

Skylar wanted to speak up, but Claire did for her.

"Perhaps the sort of woman who doesn't have the means to provide for an infinite number of blessings."

The two on the bench just stared at her with silent judgement.

After an uncomfortable amount of time, Claire said to them, "If you'll excuse us," then turned to walk away. But before they could take two steps, they ran into someone.

"Oh! Well, Mistress Fraser." It was Philip Wylie.

"Mr. Wylie," Claire greeted back, shaking her now spilled champagne off her hand.

"Deuces clumsy of me. May I fetch you something to restore your spirits?"

"No, thank you. How very good to see you." The pain in Claire's face saying those words was laughable.

"I assure you, madam, the pleasure is entirely mine." He picked up her hand and kissed it for way too long until she pulled it back. His eyes then landed on Skylar.

"And who is this beautiful blooming rose by your side?"

I feel violated just from that sentence, she thought, though on the outside she put a smile on her face.

"Mr. Wylie, please allow me to introduce my daughter, Skylar."

He straightened his back even more to make himself appear taller and said to her, "Miss Fraser, it is a dream to make your acquaintance. And may I just say, you have absolutely inherited your mother's exquisite beauty." He kissed her hand for much longer than appropriate as well, but she could pull her hand away as she had just met him. So she bit her cheek to keep from laughing as she waited for him to be done.

"You are too kind, Mr. Wylie." She didn't bother explaining that Claire wasn't her birth mother. "But I feel I should tell you, I'm called Mistress Murray, not Miss Fraser."

"You're married? Oh, well that is just a dagger in my heart," he said terribly dramatically. "Is your husband here? I would so love to meet the man lucky enough to have won your affections."

Skylar thought on her feet and answered, "I'm afraid my husband had to miss out on the festivities. Unfortunately, our son has a cold, so he insisted on staying home to care for him while I attend my Great-Aunt's wedding."

"You said that he is the one taking care your child?"

"Our child, yes." Though the story was a complete lie, she felt the need to fight him on the misogyny that was about to fall out of his mouth.

"Well, how very…modern of him to take on the mother's role of caring for the children. The men I run with in my circle of high society friends wouldn't be caught dead doing such a thing."

I could probably get away with slapping this one. I don't think anyone likes him.

"Yes, well, my husband certainly is one of a kind."

"You are looking well, sir," Claire spoke up to change the subject.

"Fortune has smiled upon me this year. The trade with England has quite recovered. May the gods be thanked. I've had my share of it and more besides." He then forgot all about Skylar, much to her joy, and took another step into Claire. "May I likewise observe how becoming you look? As always, you're a most welcome ornament to this humble affair."

"Excuse me, Mr. Wylie," Mistress Tryon stepped in, saving them. "Mistress Fraser's aunt is in need of her and Mistress Murray's opinion, and we simply cannot leave a bride waiting."

"Mr. Wylie," Claire said to him with a curtsy.

"Good to meet you," Skylar added with a curtsy too, then went with Claire and Margaret as far away from that man as they could get.

Lol so this was all meant to be one chapter but it ended up being over 16,000 words. I didn't wanna make y'all read all that sooo…two chapters yay!