CHAPTER 11

Skylar should have known that no matter how private you try to make a conversation on Fraser's Ridge, it will spread like wildfire. And the gossip over her turning down Benjamin's proposal was common knowledge by the afternoon on the following day.

If she thought the stares and whispers had been bad after her breakdown, she was not ready for the new wave.

She thought that once Jamie had told the men that they were to prepare to go to Hillsborough for war, that that would've diverted everyone's attention off of her. No such luck.

She wanted to believe she was just being paranoid. That everyone was not watching every move she made. Conversations were not brought to a halt when she would walk by groups, only for them to pick right back up as soon as she was passed them. But even Claire had told her that some of the women had approached her, pitying her poor daughter who was choosing a life of loneliness and hardship, begging her to help Skylar come to her senses and accept the very generous offer from Benjamin.

After a week and a half, Skylar couldn't take it anymore. She hardly left the house. She didn't keep Ollie from playing outside though, or forbid him from seeing Benjamin. Skylar was still honoring her word to Benjamin that she would stay away from him, so she would have Fergus or Roger go with Ollie down to the stables or to wherever he wanted to followed Benjamin that day. She opted for one of them to accompany Ollie because she assumed that Benjamin was less likely to ask any questions or say anything about her to another man rather than Brianna or Marsali. The two women, on the other hand, hung around Ollie when he was just playing with their children or any of the other kids on the Ridge. But whoever it was watching him at any particular moment, Skylar had them keep a close ear and eye out for any whispers and stares being shot Ollie's way, and, if there were any, to shut it down immediately.

She didn't like having people spread rumors about her, but she saw no need to ever confront anyone about it, be it verbally or physically. However, if the moment ever came where she found out people were making comments about her son, all bets were off and she was not afraid to throw a punch should she need to.

One afternoon, just two days before everyone was to leave for Hillsborough, Claire asked Skylar if she could go retrieve some rosemary and cloves from her garden, as she needed to pack some extra to take to the battlefield. Skylar said yes, committing her mind to focus on her task and pay no attention to her onlookers. So she took one of the small baskets and headed outside.

Once on the porch, she gave a quick glance around to see if Benjamin was around. He wasn't, but she did see Ollie and Germain playing with Fergus, which made her smile.

Very soon after she, Claire and Jamie came back from River Run, Marsali announced that she and Fergus we're expecting their third child. Because of this, Jamie told Fergus he was to stay at the Ridge with Marsali so there was no risk of anything happening to him. Skylar was very thankful he agreed to it with very little argument. Worrying about her brother, whether or not he would've actually been fighting, was one extra stressor she did not need right now.

She had only made it halfway to the garden before she heard someone shout, "Skylar!" She looked in the direction of the voice and saw Sarah Shaw storming towards her.

She didn't have time to say, "Is something wrong?" before the blonde teenager slapped her across the face. It made Skylar drop her basket and stumble a bit to the side.

"Ye bloody harlot!" Sarah screamed at her. "How dare ye do a thing so cold and heartless?"

Skylar started to talk, while holding her stinging cheek, "Sarah, is this about-" but she was promptly cut off.

"Yer nothin' but a siren, ye are. Ye drew him in with yer beauty and charm, then seduced him. And once ye were holdin' his heart in yer hands, ye tore it apart. How dare ye?!"

Skylar kept her voice calm while her eyes darted around to see everyone staring at them, including Ollie.

"Sarah, there are parts to this story that you don't know. Why don't we go inside and I can-"

"Everyone goes on about how Mistress Murray is so kind and pure. What a gentle heart she has. But the truth is out now, that yer just a bitch." Skylar could tell she wasn't going to get a word in edgewise until Sarah was done berating her. So she waited. "Ye had the most perfect man at yer feet. He loved ye long before ye brought him te yer bed, we all could see that. And ye never so much as gave him a second glance. I have loved him the way he loved ye from the day I met him. I tried so often te get him te turn his gaze onte me, but he never did because he was under yer spell. And now, he's no longer the man he was before. Ye've ferever ruined him and he'll never love again."

"I only turned down his marriage proposal. I'm allowed to do that. He knew very well that I was never going to get married again. This wasn't some premeditated malicious scheme I had to hurt him."

"It's well enough ye did turn him down. Ye and yer bastard child dinna deserve one like him."

The red was back. Skylar took a step in closer to her and made her voice quiet but sharp. "You can do all you want to me. Insult me, slap me, whatever. But do not drag my son into this or, I swear to God, I will wring your scrawny little neck. You hear me?"

"He is though, isn't he? A bastard?" Sarah knew how much that word riled Skylar up, repeating it just for that purpose. "Ye've never said one word of the husband ye claim te have had. Ye never speak of him bein' dead or his whereabouts should he be alive. I reckon ye never had a husband at all, and just made up this Murray man so te cover that Ollie was just the result of a whore on her back. A bastard he is, and a bastard is all he'll ever be."

Not in control of her actions anymore, Skylar whipped her the back of her hand across the younger girl's face, ricocheting a loud SMACK. She grabbed her blonde hair and dragged her forward. Sarah shrieked, but still managed to get a fist full of Skylar's hair and pulled hard. The two went at it, shoving, scratching and hair pulling, for only about 30 seconds before they were pulled apart. Fergus was holding onto Skylar, and Ronnie Sinclair, who Fergus had found while running to get someone to help him, had Sarah.

Skylar seemed to calm down the moment Fergus separated them. But her opponent was still kicking in the air while Ronnie carried her off.

"Inside," Fergus said as he quickly ushered her back into the house. He brought her through the kitchen and into Claire's surgery.

"Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ," Claire gasped when she took in the sight of Skylar in front of her. Her hair was messed in several different directions, there were scratches on her face and chest, and a big red patch remained on her cheek from the initial slap. "What the hell happened?"

"I got in a fight," Skylar answered.

"I can see that. Come here and sit down." Skylar sat on the chair Claire had pulled out for her, and Claire looked over her wounds. "The scratches didn't break any skin, but I'm going to use some aloe on them, as well as the red mark on your cheek, to ease their sting and help them to fade faster." As she applied the sticky goo from her aloe plant, Claire continued her questioning. "Now, who did you get into this fight with?"

"Sarah Shaw."

"Sarah Shaw?" Claire repeated. Skylar nodded. "And what on Earth brought this on, may I ask?"

"She started it." Claire raised her eyebrows at Skylar's response, and Skylar heard how much of a child she sounded like. So she added some more detail. "She just came up to me and slapped me, and then started verbally attacking me for, you know, rejecting Benjamin."

"Why didn't you just walk away?"

"It wasn't just me she was insulting." She paused.

"Was there something else?" Claire stepped back from her and wiped the aloe residue off on a rag. She her back leaned against the exam table and crossed, waiting for more of the story.

Skylar couldn't bring herself to say it, and she just stared hard at the floor. Just remembering it made her face heat up again with anger.

"She called Ollie a bastard," Fergus answered for her. "Several times, from what I could hear."

Skylar curled her fingers into fists and pushed them into her legs in an effort to control her emotions. But her fury vanished immediately when she realized something. Her head shot back up to Fergus.

"Omigod, Ollie. You were with him. Where is he? Is anyone-"

"I left Ollie and Germain with Mrs. Bug. He is safe, ma soeur."

Some of the tension left Skylar's shoulders hearing her son was in good hands at the moment. But that wasn't the only thing she was worried about in regards to Ollie.

"I'm going to go get my hairbrush and fix this monstrosity on your head," Claire told her. "I'll be right back." Skylar nodded, then Claire left, touching Fergus' shoulder as she did.

When he and Skylar were alone, she asked him in a soft, embarrassed tone, "How much did he see?"

"Almost nothing." He pulled up another chair and sat across from her, putting his elbows on his knees to be at her level. "After Sarah called him…that, the first time, I had Mrs. Bug take the boys down to the horses and far away from there. So, no, he did not see his mother get into a brawl." She gave a half smile and small laugh.

"But what about-"

"I don't know if he actually heard it from where we were. Him being so little, I do not know how far he can hear, and it was one thing Sarah did not scream." He knew what she was referring to. "And if he did, he does not at all know what it means. He is okay, ma soeur. He was not affected."

It was quiet for a minute before Skylar said, "Am I actually a whore, Fergus?"

"Of course not. Sarah Shaw was just being a jealous 17 year old girl who has an unrequited love. Nothing she said was true, you know that."

"But I mean, what I did with Benjamin, just like…laying with him like that and then refusing to marry him after. And when I got pregnant while not married married to…t-to his father…If it wasn't me who had done those things, what would you think of a girl like that? Are you not ashamed of me, that you have to call some girl who sleeps around your sister?"

"Well, if you remember my reaction when you told me you were pregnant, I was definitely not happy about it at first. And with Benjamin, I had no idea that was going on until you told me, so I didn't have much time to form or share any sort of opinion. I, again, was not pleased with the decision you had made entering that relationship; but with either situation, I never for any amount of time thought you a whore. And if you told me some other lass on the Ridge had done the same…well, it wouldn't be my place to speak any judgements against her. I am guilty of similar endevours in my youth. But this isn't some other lass. This is about you. And though you have made some questionable choices when it comes to your virtue, I can say for certain and without any doubt that you, Skylar, are not a whore. Do not ever think so low of yourself." He reached out to her and cupped her face, stroking her cheek with his thumb. "You are the most incredible mother to your precious boy and the best friend anyone could ever want. You are a perfectly flawed human being. I could never ever be ashamed to call you my sister. I told you long ago that you don't ever have to fear me leaving you. I'm reinstating that vow. No matter what should ever happen, whatever choices you should make in the future, I will always be your brother. I love you, ma soeur." He pulled Skylar into a hug and she returned it. She closed her eyes and squeezed him a little tighter.

"I love you too, mon frere."

When they pulled apart, they smiled at each other and he touched her head.

"Milady was not wrong about your hair being a monstrosity. I will be ashamed to be seen with you if we do not fix it soon."

Skylar playfully hit his arm and laughed, feeling relieved that one of the most important people in her life didn't think of her like she thought of herself.

Two days after the excitement, it was time for the troops to head to Hillsborough, along with Claire and Skylar, coming along to assist in the surgery tent.

The plan was that Jamie and Claire would go with the men straight to the battlefield near Alamance River to meet up with Tryon, and Skylar and Ollie, with Roger, Bree, Jemmy and Lizzie, would spend one night at a home in the town so they could get the boys settled there; since neither parent wanted to leave their respective child at home during all of this. Then, Skylar and Roger would continue on to join everyone else.

As Skylar helped to load up the wagon her group was taking, she looked around and saw the rest of the men saying goodbye to their loved ones. Fathers, husbands, sons and brothers all hugging and kissing their families, promising to return to them. None of them knew if they were going to be able to keep those promises, but that was a dark cloud no one was going to mention.

She had been debating with herself about going to Benjamin to talk to him and attempt to make amends should, God forbid, something happen to him. She had finally settled on the decision that she would, but when she went in the direction of where she spotted him, she stopped in her tracks and turned around quickly before anyone had seen her.

As she had been approaching him, the president of Skylar's fan club got to him first. Sarah Shaw was standing just slightly too close to him and looking up at him with her face full of worry and concern, as if she was one of the wives scared for her husband. Benjamin's face was still void of any emotion, like her family had told her he had been looking, but he didn't push her away or reject her advance of giving him her handkerchief to hold onto.

Jesus, she makes a big show of how I ruined him for all women and then she goes and makes a move on him like that? I have to give it to her though, she certainly has balls.

She still wanted to find a way to talk to Benjamin before the fighting began. She didn't know how, but she was determined. She just hoped he would listen.

Skylar explained to Ollie what was going to happen before they left, and again when they got to the Sherstons' house. Mr. and Mrs. Sherston were friends of Jocasta and had welcomed them into their home with open arms. Ollie didn't quite understand everything that was going on, but he knew his mom was leaving the next morning, so he clung to her all that day and through the night as they slept in the same bed. Though she let him do this just as much for her as for him.

He snuggled in as close as he could get to her, still clutching Bibbet as tight as he could. She held him like that and rubbed his arms lovingly.

"Mama?" he asked her.

"Yes, my love?"

"What's a ba…a-a, a bas-a bastard?" His small voice struggled to form the big word.

Skylar's body went cold. "Where did you hear that word, Ollie?" She was scared for his answer because she already knew what it was.

"The lady say it. She say it to you. Say I a ba-bas, a bastard."

She closed her eyes and took a breath, her body instantly switching from frozen to hot with anger.

Fuck you, Sarah Shaw. Fuck you.

She sat up and had Ollie follow. She pulled him right next to her against her side and kept an arm around him. She tried to think of how to explain this.

"That…is a word that mean people use sometimes to make other people feel bad about themselves. But it is not a word to feel bad about, because all it really means is that even though your daddy doesn't live at home with us, you have a mommy who loves you more than life itself. And I want you to remember that, in case you ever hear that word again." She lifted him up and placed him on her lap. "You are perfect, my little angel, and I want you to promise me that if anyone ever calls you that name, or any other name to try to make you feel bad, you won't forget that you are perfect, exactly as you are. There is nothing about you or your life that you ever need to feel bad about. Okay? Can you promise me?"

"I promise, Mama."

"Good boy." She gave a long kiss on his head and held him against her chest. She rocked him gently and ran her fingers through his wild red curls until she felt him fall asleep.

She laid him back down on the bed, but she kept herself sitting up beside him. She brushed through his hair a few more times and delicately touched his cheek with her finger.

No one will ever hurt you. Not with their body or words, she said to him in her head. I will do everything I can for the rest of my life to make sure the rest of your life is happy and bright. I will never let you go through any pain or sorrow. I swear it to you as your mother.

A tiny smile crept over Ollie's face as he slept and she let out a shaky breath.

God, Ian. I wish you could see our baby. You'd be so proud of him.

I felt so awful that I wasn't going to be getting a chapter out today, so I decided to post what was going to just be the first half of chapter 11 so y'all would get something! It's also good because this chapter was likely going to be in two separate parts anyway and now the next one will just be " The Ballad of Roger Mac" episode.

Chapter 12 will be out either tomorrow or Tuesday, and chapter 13 (fingers crossed) sometime next Sunday. So much is coming and I'm so excited!