Shouto Todoroki
A patchwork of dreams is unfurled,
Encapsulating fully the past world.
Another dream interwoven with cloth.
A frayed thread, jittering and wroth.
Wrapped up in the blanket oh so tight.
A cradle of fantasy that's always right.
Curled into a cocoon of its warmth again.
A world this perfect must surely be a poison.
Intoxicating warmth an arm's length away.
A malleable, impregnable shield for the day.
Where the frigidity of reality cannot reach,
Slurred hopes drown the light as they beseech.
The light slips away through the window.
Another dream upon the cloth will show.
The patchwork grows ever more on the daily.
Tethered by thousands of seams inextricably.
Escape, escape, there is no escape.
Shattered dreams are weapons that slash and scrape.
Dance upon the fragments of reality.
Bleed again the blood of who was once free.
Reality is stitched over again and again like a tapestry.
A patchwork of an artificial reality is all we can see.
Dance upon the addiction and laugh.
Those eyes were only ever one half.
Weld together what's real and fake.
It's only betting everything that's at stake.
That tattered blanket won't save you anymore.
Let now the needle of reality pierce your core.
Another dream of a miserable way out.
Unattainable hopes constantly thought about.
To disappear, vanish, escape from this hell,
Even if the methods are excruciatingly fell.
Weaving again the needle and thread.
The cozy, sardonic seams now bind your head.
The last drop of reality fuses with the mind in a stream.
But alas, that was merely another dream.
"Damn," was all Bakugou could say as he shook his head and began to re-read Todoroki's poem again. "I can interpret this in so many ways. Shit. But, oi. Before I say anything more, what do you think of what you wrote?" His refulgent cerise eyes stared into Todoroki's heterochromatic eyes.
It was the weekend, and it was the day after Todoroki had received stitches for the lacerations he'd punctured his wrist with, but he still felt like there was a burning scream that was stuck in his throat. He'd written a poem in an attempt to distract himself from cutting, but serendipitously yet unfortunately, it seemed to abrade the undying screams that had lumped together inside of him instead.
Todoroki shrugged while Bakugou curled an arm around his shoulders. "I guess it's all right," sighed Todoroki with a voice like a dry cloud of dust. "It's not my best. It's not my worst. Like… Never mind." He slowly allowed a fraction of his weight to lean against Bakugou.
Cuddly, Todoroki thought to himself. Warm. Sugary. Sweet.
"What were you gonna say?"
"Nothing."
"Say it."
"No."
"I'll kiss you if you don't." Bakugou tipped his head to better examine Todoroki's dubious expression.
We're just friends, and yet you say that so casually? "Fine," Todoroki conceded with his usual insouciance. "I was going to say that it was like how I feel. Not my best, but not my worst."
"Aight. Fair enough. Oi." Leaning back a bit, Bakugou lifted Todoroki's chin, seemingly arrested by Todoroki's lips. "Damn. Now that's a tempting sight." A soft, endearing smile poked through his neutral expression.
Todoroki pulled away. "I don't…understand. What is this? What are we? Why did I…" He rested his chin against the concave divot between his knees. "Is this what friends do? Is this…normal? I've never really had friends before."
"Look at you, implyin' that I'm your friend. But hell if I know. Though, I do know…" His steadfast confidence shriveled up for a transient moment. "Tch. It'd…be a damn honor if you'd wanna be boyfriends." He tilted his head a bit to obscure the rosy hue imbuing his cheeks as he loured through it.
I feel sick. "I'd… I'd like… No. I… I can't." Don't you want to make him happy? "Well… I-I…" You'd burn a relationship to the ground. "I don't know. I'm sorry."
"Do you think you don't deserve to be loved like that by someone?" Slow and enriched by a certain, profound spring of emotion, his husky voice dripped like honey through Todoroki's ears.
I think…that even though I questioned it, I still tried to convince myself that all of this was normal friendship and nothing more, Todoroki attempted to reason with himself as he dithered. You're right. I don't deserve that kind of love. I don't deserve friends, for that matter. Yet, I've let myself… Why? Why didn't I realize this?! Even if, deep down, a part of me wants to be with you, it doesn't matter. Even if I want to make you happy, it doesn't have to be in a way I'd just fuck up. Even if I know I should give it a chance, I'm terrified of fucking it up and making you unhappy instead.
Todoroki didn't respond, so Bakugou replied, "I'll take that as a yes. Well, why do you think that?" His digits deftly tousled Todoroki's hair.
"I just…don't deserve it. I don't know. I can't explain it. Even if I could, I wouldn't know how to say it."
"Hey, guess what?" Bakugou tugged Todoroki into his chest. "It's hard as hell for me to say it, but I'm gonna get over myself and do it for your sake. Listen…" Silence enveloped the two for a moment. "Todoroki, I love you. There's nothing you can do about it. Tell it to my face that you hate it and reject it, but it's not changing a damn thing. Hey. You hear my heart? There's one livin' in you too. So, stop acting like it's not there."
I just can't believe it, no matter how true it might be. Your kindness already broke me. I need to pull myself together again. But…I really am just a pitiful burden. He doesn't really love me like that. He can't. That's…not possible. How could I have believed for even a moment that he really cares about something that's so fucking useless and pathetic? Tonight. Today. Soon. It won't be just 'another dream.' I'll let him have this. Just pretend like you've changed. Then…it'll all be over.
Although Todoroki's stomach twisted into a snarl of revulsion at the idea of being in a romantic relationship with a man, he swallowed down that vacillation with the taste of Bakugou's lips. The dissonance of doting and disgust surged through Todoroki's body, but relief flooded back to his senses once his lips separated from Bakugou's. He simply faltered into Bakugou's arms and expelled a long, shaky breath.
"Thank you, Bakugou…"
You won't have to concern yourself with me anymore.
