Shouto Todoroki

Standing just beyond the frame of wood demarcating his dorm from the hallway, Todoroki espied Iida. He'd seldom interacted with Iida that year, but in their first year at U.A., their relationship had been quite different. Needless to say, Todoroki was bemused by the unceremonious presence of Iida rather than Bakugou.

"Hey." Like a hushed autumn breeze soughing through the near-barren trees, Todoroki's voice was cool yet delicately subdued in its brio.

Iida cleared his throat and nudged his glasses back on the bridge of his nose. "It's been quite some time since we've talked," he remarked with a visage that was dampened by the hefty pool of awkwardness drifting about the atmosphere. "How are you doing?"

Although Todoroki abhorred the thought of inviting Iida into his dorm and engaging in what he presumed would be a long conversation that he had no desire to partake in, he nonetheless gestured for Iida to enter his dorm. "Good. Thanks for asking. Ah. How are you?" He swallowed thickly as Iida began to scan his unsightly dorm.

"I'm great, now that you mention it," Iida replied while his eyes settled on the four-fifths-full bin beside Todoroki's desk. "Todoroki, allow me to—"

I almost forgot about this. "Iida, it's fine," Todoroki said with the diminutive traces of a smile twitching across his lips.

Iida swung his arm at the pile of laundry on Todoroki's floor. "Then—"

"Iida." Todoroki forced a smile out of habit; he'd always offered Iida a thin smile whenever Iida insisted on doing his chores for him.

"How about—"

Todoroki shook his head while Iida locked their gazes. "You don't need to do anything for me," he assured his friend. "I appreciate the thought, though."

A radiant grin blossomed on Iida's expression. "Well, know that I'd be happy to do them, if you change your mind," he announced with exultant verve before clearing his throat again. "But I've noticed that you're…much thinner than before. Is everything all right?" His solace was a sword being plunged through Todoroki's chest.

I'm fine now, but there's no hope for me anymore. "Yeah," Todoroki sighed while glimpsing over at his untouched tray of food. "I don't… I… Ah. I… Sorry. I didn't mean to worry you." You assume he would worry about something as useless as you?

Todoroki sat down on the floor as a debilitating surge of lightheadedness shook his body. I don't necessarily like feeling indifferent and numb, and I know my method of feeling like this is terrible for me, but I don't care. I just want the feeling of not feeling anything. And yet, somehow, I can't remember what it feels like to be happy or sad. I've been stuck between the two for so long that I can't tell them apart anymore. Pathetic. I'm so pathetic. I just…give up. I know I'm a failure. I accept it. I'll give in to my bad habits and let them consume me because trying to accomplish anything when I can't even put in the work, and when I know I only see a failure reflected back at me in the mirror again just isn't worth it. It never was, but I kept fighting, thinking that I'd finally win, and where am I now? He shook his head and focused his attention on Iida. I zoned out.

"...th. For instance, an electrolyte imbalance." As he spoke, Iida vertically sliced the air every now and again. "So, I truly hope that you're eating three meals a day, Todoroki."

I can't even hold down one… Bakugou will surely get suspicious if I don't eat the majority of what's on the tray. I could just dispose of everything. Or… No. I'm not getting back into that. As it is, though, I've no hope for myself. I might as well see how deep I can make my grave.

Todoroki nodded absent-mindedly. "I'll admit that they're not very substantial meals, but still three nonetheless." Exanimate and unenthused, his brumal words were like gray glaciers. "Iida? This isn't pertinent, but…" His heart began to pound as he conjured up the pictorial image of Bakugou's smirks and smiles. "How would… Ah. If… I guess, first off, do you think…being gay is wrong?" He felt as though an odious, mephitic bile had begun to sear the back of his throat at the memory of kissing Bakugou.

Iida perfervidly shook his head. "Not in the slightest," he replied while readjusting his glasses. "As a straight man, I absolutely support the community."

I thought so, Todoroki inwardly sighed. Even I support it, but I just can't help but feel sick to my stomach when I look at myself as anything but straight. Maybe, with a dosage high enough, I can feel indifferent towards this too.

"That's a relief to hear. I… I've…" Recalling Bakugou's advice, Todoroki allowed himself an ephemeral moment to think and breathe. "I'm…confused. If you kiss someone, does that mean you love them? If you don't hate being kissed by that person, do you love them?" His heavy eyelids sank down as he contemplated his own queries.

Iida sat beside Todoroki, but as he opened his mouth to speak, there was a knock at the door. He and Todoroki exchanged dubious glances, and as Todoroki began to force himself to his feet, the door was pushed into the room. Bakugou scrunched his brows as he entered the room, but Todoroki deliberately kept his gaze low to the floor.

After Iida greeted Bakugou, Bakugou scoffed, "The hell're you doin' here?" The ash-blonde crossed his arms as his expression curdled further.

Iida sheepishly cleared his throat. "Catching up with Todoroki, I suppose," he answered while standing up. "Though, I should return to studying. Thank you for your time, Todoroki." Bowing his head, he swiftly trudged out of the room.

Once the door clicked shut, Bakugou expelled an irked, drawn-out sigh. "So? What, you two make out or something? Not that I care." He tapped his nails across his arm in a wave.

"No, but I wouldn't mind making out with you." Before Todoroki could fathom the words that had escaped his lips, he realized that he'd verbalized his thoughts.

Shit, shit, shit. I didn't mean to say that out loud. He's smirking. It's… I don't know how to describe it.

"You smooth motherfucker," Bakugou cackled with a sly smirk gracing his sultry countenance.

While Todoroki lambasted himself for inadvertently speaking his thoughts, Bakugou knelt down and pinned Todoroki to the floor. The ash-blonde's defined features seemed to be illuminated in streaks of light when contrasted with the shadows hugging his body. He deftly dusted his digits around Todoroki's cheek, and with his opposite hand on the back of Todoroki's head, he drew Todoroki towards himself. Bakugou canted his head to immediately deepen the dive of their arresting lips, and upon their lips being fastened together like two streams of honey, Todoroki mirrored Bakugou's brazen brio.

How can it be that this feels good, and yet, I just don't care? Todoroki cogitated as the ardent ardor of Bakugou's affection caused their breathing to hasten. He's good at this. I feel like I'm melting into his arms. Like my body is all being drained into him. Good. Good… He swallowed a mouthful of Bakugou's discarded, syrupy essence as their hands began to explore beneath the warm fields of fabric. So muscular. So strong. So dependable. I wish I had his frame. I feel like my body is burning. I'm breathing so heavily. Is this really okay? Endeavor…

"Shouto, are you attracted to other boys?"

"No."

"Good. Any gay relationships are forbidden in this household. I won't allow such wrong, disgusting things under this roof."

With their bodies still entwined in a hot, sticky web of passion, Todoroki and Bakugou simultaneously retreated from the kiss without retreating from each other. Bakugou had curled both of his arms beneath Todoroki's shirt to hug them around Todoroki's chest. Todoroki, on the other hand, simply rested one of his hands on the bare flesh of Bakugou's shoulder; his other hand was wrapped around Bakugou's waist.

"Hot damn are you fucking gorgeous," Bakugou snickered through a hot, hefty exhalation that kissed Todoroki's ear with wet warmth.

I think…I'm definitely gay. It doesn't feel right. I don't want to be. Endeavor thinks it would be wrong for me to be gay, and he's told me that so much that I guess I gave in and adopted the same belief. I wish I hadn't. I can't even be comfortable with how I feel towards other people, no less my own feelings that I don't want whatsoever. I couldn't even follow that one simple rule. I'm wrong, disgusting, reprehensible…because I think boys are attractive. I'll just continue to medicate, and maybe, even that will go numb. There really is no hope for me anymore, is there?