Marinette wasn't exactly sure what she was doing here. She had been sitting here for a good five minutes now, on the edge of the Liberty, looking down at the Seine below. Her feet were dangling off the edge, and she knew that she would have to be home soon, so that her parents wouldn't find the dummy she had placed in her bed before she had transformed and swung out of her house by yoyo.
But she didn't want to go home. Not just yet. Today had been stressful for her, unbelievably so. It had started earlier in the day, when she had third-wheeled Kagami and Adrien in their escape from the Bourgeois' wedding anniversary. And when her hair had come down, she had felt a huge wave of unease. But she had kept it down, because Kagami and Adrien had told her that she looked beautiful.
How stupid she was.
But that hadn't been the end of the day's troubles. Only a few minutes later, Chloe's parents had been akumatized - again - and she had had to face them. Watching Kagami almost kiss Adrien had been rough, and she was honestly disappointed in herself for choosing the dragon miraculous out of jealousy.
And… and Master Fu. Hawk Moth had followed her, because she had so stupidly forgotten to detransform - and she had led the villain right towards the guardian. And while the Miraculous were once again safe, and currently hiding in her chest full of presents - she felt horrible at just what her mistakes had cost.
Master Fu had lost his memories. He had lost who he was, and had no idea how to move forward because of it. A few hours after the entire ordeal, he had been picked up by Marriane - whom Marinette had contacted almost immediately after the whole fiasco had been over - and Marriane had promised that she would lead Fu on the right path. But it hurt. It really, really hurt, knowing that Master Fu, the Master Fu that she knew would be gone because of her. That she would never be able to rely on him again, or ask for his assistance in dealing with problems.
She knew that was selfish. She knew that she should feel more guilty about what she had done to Master Fu, and not how he would no longer be able to help her, and she did, she did!! But she couldn't help but feel terribly guilty about her desire to rely on him just as she had been doing before.
And she couldn't rely on Chat Noir. Well, she could, of course, but then Chat would take it the wrong way, like he always did. She could trust him to be at her side in battle (or could she? It seemed like he was salty about her not returning his feelings a few akumas back, multiple times, even), but if she ever tried to rely on him for something further, something more personal, then Chat would only use the opportunity to flirt with her, to try and make her fall in love with him.
And she hated that. She was just so tired of it, tired like she had been when she had sobbed into Luka's chest earlier that day. Tired because she didn't want to have to keep up appearances of being okay to everyone she knew. Tired because she didn't want to have to keep fighting akumas forever, not when she had dreams and goals that she wanted to accomplish. Tired because her crush towards Adrian had gotten crushed, not that he knew that. Tired from taking down all the photos in her room of him, tired of slowly emptying out the chest in her room each day, throwing out a present in a different trash can each night before bed.
She was tired of going to school and hearing Lila's lies, tired of Alya being upset with her for not believing in what could obviously be proven as false, if only a little research was done. She was tired of having no one to rely on, tired of having no one but herself, and maybe Tikki, but… but that was it. She was just so…
"Ladybug?" a voice called from behind her, and her torso twisted around swiftly in shock, her dark blue eyes meeting lighter cyan ones. She had thought that the Couffaines had already gone to bed, that she wouldn't be bothering them by taking a small rest on the steadying rock of their boat - but she had been wrong, since Luka Couffaine was standing right here, staring at her wide eyes. They seemed to contain both surprise and worry, and…. and recognition.
"Oh," she mumbled after a few moments of their continued eye contact, turning a little to look down at her lap instead of his surprised face. "Sorry for being here without your permission. I- I'll leave now, if that's-"
"No, no. It's okay."
Marinette raised her head, giving him a small smile. "Thanks," she said, her voice soft. She watched him out of the corner of her eye as he walked up to her, leaning against the boat like she had done the day Frozer had been akumatized. If she had been any less exhausted, she might've blushed at the sight of his sweatpants and large white shirt - obviously his pajamas. But that didn't stop her from noticing the small upward tilt of his lips, and how his jet black hair that was blue on the tips was damp - probably from an earlier shower.
"It's a nice view, isn't it?" he asked her, and she nodded, turning back towards the water below them. The waves rocked the boat, and reflected the light of the moon and stars - something that she found rather soothing.
"Yeah," she murmured. "I… it is."
They were quiet for maybe a minute longer, only listening to the sound of the waves splashing against the boat, and the sound of the other's breathing. Luka's breathing was soft, but not so soft that he might be forgotten - like his voice was preparing to sing, despite Marinette having never heard Luka use his voice for anything other than speaking.
Luka separated from the edge for a moment, to grab his guitar from one of the leaning chairs behind them. It was his acoustic guitar, not his electric one, the one that was black, but covered in stickers, especially that giant purple one of Jagged Stone's face and hair.
It was the one that he had used in order to play her melody earlier, when he had stopped in front of the bakery, before delivering her to the Grand Paris.
"I came up here, because I realized I had forgotten this," he murmured softly. "And, well… now I'm glad I did."
Marinette tilted her head. "How come?"
Luka looked down at his guitar, and Marinette assumed that he was trying to find the right words to say. He had told her, earlier, when they had first met, that he was better with music than he was with his words. That music was simpler.
"Can I play the melody I hear in your heart?" was his response to her question.
Marinette gave him a small smile. She didn't know whether or not her melody was the same as it usually was, and she knew that she should be more cautious, that this boy in front of her might figure out her identity if she didn't leave - but Luka was calming. He wasn't a pillar, like Chat Noir thought of her or she (used to have) thought of Adrien. No… Luka was more of a foundation.
"I'd be honored," she said, giving him a smile.
His lips tilted upwards to match her smile, before he brought his fingers to the strings to start strumming. The tune he was playing was familiar - probably similar to the melody that Luka had been trying to make for her, as Marinette - but she didn't say anything, only listening to the music that he was playing.
She closed her eyes and only listened, barely realizing it when she started humming the tune along with his playing.
He kept playing for a few minutes, his eyes watching her as she swayed along with the boat, humming the tune that he was playing. She didn't know his eyes were on her as she let out a small sigh as he finished, letting the last note hang in the air for a few moments before the sounds of splashing water returned.
"Y'know," Luka started, before she could thank him. "I think I finally got it right."
Marinette's eyes widened at his words, and she stared at him, concern and fear in her gaze. But he didn't see, his eyes having returned to his guitar. So he continued.
"There was this one part of your melody that I just couldn't get right," he said, "no matter how hard I tried. There was just something… well, not missing, but… it was lacking something that made it just right." He raised his head to look her in the eyes with a smile. "I think I found it, here tonight."
Marinette sucked in a deep breath, frozen. She only continued to watch him, with eyes wide and afraid, like a wild animal moments before it's predator pounced.
"I'm not going to tell anyone," Luka said, not unkindly. And with those simple words, Marinette felt as if some of the stress inside of her was making a mass exodus. She let out a small sigh of relief, letting her posture relax, and her spine bend forward slightly, like she had been sitting when he had been playing her song.
"I…" she smiled. There was no point in denying it, anyway. Tikki would scold her for this definitely, and Master Fu… well, the previous Master Fu would've trusted her judgement. She hoped. "I should've known that you'd figure it out. You're very perceptive, after all."
Luka smiled. "Thank you," he responded. He didn't put his guitar down, but climbed onto the edge next to her, sitting down so that his guitar was placed in his lap. "My offer from earlier today still stands. You can talk to me if you need to. Or.. if you'd rather not, that's okay too."
Marinette was quiet. She turned away, looking down at the Seine that she had spent so much of this night watching. The Seine that she had come to, for reasons that she didn't know why. Or… or did she? Was there a reason that she was here? A reason that she was sitting right here on the Liberty, sitting next to Luka Couffaine was he strummed her another song on his guitar?
"I'm," she started, hesitant, and Luka let the song he was playing slow to a stop, so that it wouldn't overlap her. "I'm scared. Really, really scared. I lost a lot of things today. I lost my master, the guardian of the Miraculous, who used to guide me and help me whenever I was lost, or whenever I made mistakes. I… I lost an awesome team of people who I could trust, who I could rely on to temporarily borrow the Miraculous so that Chat Noir and I wouldn't have to face the akumas alone." She thought back to the previous weeks, where her trust in Alya and Nino had started shattering, from all the hurt she had felt when they had defended Lila's lies. "Or maybe I had already lost them, and today was just when I realized it," she mused. "There were… there were a lot of bad things that happened today. And the thing is, sure, I'd be torn over it, like usual, but… not this torn. I'd be sad, and upset, yes, but… I'd be able to recover quicker. I'd… I'd be more positive, because I know that I have to be positive in order to defeat Hawkmoth. But… I'm just… It's just… it's just not coming to me as easily."
Luka hummed in response. "Do you think you know the reason why?" he asked, prompting her to continue.
Marinette nodded. "Yeah. I've… I've been tired for a while now. I think that today was… the final straw. Or something. I've been tired, because… well, I've had a lot of work recently, you know? Like, the day that Max was akumatized into Gamer 2.0, I was so busy and tired, and I just desperately wanted to take a break, but I couldn't, because, well, people were counting on me, and… I think you get the point. Though that's… that's small compared to everything else, though, because I was in over my head over things that I actually wanted to do. It was… yeah, everything else that made it hard. Like… having a crush on Adrien despite him asking me to be his wingwoman so that he could make a move on Kagami… and to be honest, I think that the fact that I'm trying to get over him is part of what is making me tired too."
She let out a long sigh. "Sorry about this," she murmured. "You shouldn't have to hear about my problems, and I shouldn't be pushing them onto you."
"I asked," Luka stated. "If you really don't want to continue, I won't push you, but… I want to help you, Marinette," Marinette felt a small shiver go down her spine when he said her name. She wasn't used to that, especially in her Ladybug getup. "And I think that having someone who will listen to you will help you. It doesn't have to be me, but…"
Marinette gave him a small smile. "Thanks, Luka. You're helping… a lot more than you know. I'd kind of forgotten what is was like to have a friend support you, you know?"
Luka frowned. "Your friends haven't been supporting you?"
Marinette shook her head sadly. "... Not really. Not since Lila has been filling their heads with lies. Especially ones about me." She let out another sigh. "And… Adrien. He knows that she's lying as well, but he… doesn't do anything about it. And that… that hurts a lot. He told me that we shouldn't try to expose her lies, because it'll only cause her to become akumatized and cause more trouble. That because she's not hurting anyone, then there's no reason to interfere." She let out a shaky breath. "Well, she's hurting me. She's hurting me, but when she does he says nothing and acts like everything is fine, acts like I'm in the wrong like all the rest of our classmates. So… it wouldn't have made a difference had he known or not known. Just… the fact that he knows hurts more."
Then she chuckled. "It also helped fuel my rage when I was tearing down all the pictures from my wall. To be honest, I'm surprised an akuma didn't come that time."
"That time?" Luka asked.
"Yeah." Marinette confirmed. "I've had multiple akumas come after me before, because of… this huge mess. I've managed to get myself together before it touched any of my items, but… I've had a few close calls. And that's… that's really bad, considering I'm the only one who can defeat and purify the things."
She let out a long sigh. "And then there's that whole thing with Adrien. But I think I'll be able to get over it soon. Especially since he just… doesn't seem to care."
"And then there's Chat Noir," she added, as an afterthought.
"Chat Noir?" Luka questioned.
Marinette nodded. "I… I don't really know how to explain it, but… being around him is stressful. Especially since all he seems to care about is having me fall in love with him. LIke I'm some prize he's entitled to, or something. I know that he doesn't actually think that way, but..."
"It feels like that sometimes," Luka finished for her. Marinette nodded.
Luka let out a small sigh, then strummed a chord on his guitar. "Would you mind if I told you how… how I saw it?" he asked.
"Yeah," Marinette responded. "Sure."
"Remember the tune that I played for you earlier?" he asked. "That wasn't all of your melody. It was… a part of it. Like, only a verse in your entire song. You know how sometimes, people only like the chorus of a song, or maybe only a verse, but not the rest? And because of that, they choose not to buy the song, or listen to it that much, because there's only a small part of it that they like. Well… I think that Chat is like that with you. You've interacted with Chat before as Marinette, correct?" Marinette nodded, confirming. "Well, those were his chances to listen to your entire melody. And he didn't like it as much as he liked the small tune you have when you're Ladybug. He didn't consciously realize it, probably, but… he's like those people who chose not to buy the song. Because he thought that the entire song wasn't worth it for that one verse."
"That… that makes sense," Marinette murmured. "I… I like that analogy."
Luka smiled. "I'm glad."
"What about you?" Marinette asked, turning towards Luka, letting their eyes lock on one another's. "How did you feel when you heard that part of my song for the first time?"
Luka smiled again. "I thought it was just another part of the melody that I loved."
And this time, a blush really did spread across Marinette's cheeks.
