Author's Note:
The Houses Competition (or THC) Round 4 (BONUS ROUND)
House: Slytherin
Class: Ancient Runes
Category: Standard (up to 3,000 words)
[Scenario] Hotel Transylvania AU - The Harry Potter characters as monsters with the exception of one as a human. Suggested characters: Luna, Neville, Bill, Fleur.
Prompt: [Event] Fancy dress or costume party
Word Count: 2,509
Disclaimers/triggers: This is an AU in which canon is basically a suggestion. You have been warned.
Beta Love: Thanks to Dhrish and EndofthePage for looking over my story!
Hogwarts B&B
"Are you sure you want to visit the castle?" Severus asked, as they drove up the long, gravel drive. "This feels like it's happening a bit too fast, honestly. We should turn back. Yes. Definitely. My father is probably busy anyway, you know, with the events he's got planned."
"Severus, you're doing it again," Hermione said, arching an eyebrow as she parked the car and cut the engine.
"Doing what?" He tapped his foot nervously against the floor mat.
"Doing the thing where you talk really quickly and try to justify why we shouldn't do something because you're feeling nervous," Hermione replied with a knowing grin. "Severus, it will be fine. I promise I will do my best to make a good impression."
"I know, it's just…there's a lot I haven't told you about, and…erm…." He looked away, his fangs rubbing against his bottom lip in a way that Hermione found eminently endearing.
"You know that you can't play the vampire card to get out of this, Severus," Hermione replied, her voice growing a bit huffy. "I've been searching for evidence of preternatural races for years. You just confirmed that there's a scientific basis for different phenotypes. Just because vampires are nearly as rare as other hominids that we've discovered, doesn't mean that you are any less deserving of respect and accommodations for your needs, as long as they don't harm anyone else."
"I know, but…" Severus trailed off, nibbling at his lip until it broke the skin. "I was stuck in that castle for years before he would let me attend university, and even then, I was under strict orders never to reveal myself."
He began to shrink, his body folding in on itself until an adorable black bat sat in the passenger seat, its ears swiveling back and forth as he covered his face with his leathery wings.
Hermione reached out and stroked the fur on his head reassuringly.
"If your father is angry, I'm willing to take the blame for it if that means he'll be easier on you. Remember, Severus, you are his pride and joy. There's no way you could disappoint him."
"I know, but—" Severus' voice was still somehow his own in his diminutive form.
"Now, now, we're already here. It would be rude for us not to go in, even if we decided to leave after all." Hermione admonished.
"I guess that would make sense." After taking a deep breath, the little creature expanded into the form of Severus in his formalwear.
Hermione gestured to the fake ears and werewolf makeup she was wearing along with her fancy ball gown. "I doubt it will be difficult to play the part of a monster for the night, Severus."
Severus snorted. "It's a good thing that vampire and werewolf rivalries are a fictional plot device," he said. "Otherwise, my father would probably prefer that I date a human."
With that, they exited the car, grabbed their bags, and strode up the many stone steps that led into the ancient castle.
Hermione had thought she'd known what to expect, being the preeminent budding cryptozoologist at her university. But she was wholly unprepared for the strange, devilish creature that took their bags with an unintelligible snarl that showed wickedly sharp fangs.
"Yeah, that's just Harry," Severus said, seemingly unfazed. "He's an imp. Oi! You'd better not gnaw on my bags again, or I'll let Father know!"
He received a noise in reply that reminded Hermione of a Tasmanian Devil.
"Don't worry, he doesn't bite. Much." Severus knocked on the doors in a complex manner, and they swung open silently as if by magic.
"Thanks, Fred and George," Severus said, tossing a handful of coins into the empty space on one side of the double doors and then tossing something that looked like a dubious prank item from a joke shop to the other. To Hermione's surprise, they both froze in midair as the spirits caught them, and moments later, she saw two translucent faces that both looked nearly the same.
"Hullo Severus," said one. "And who is this?"
"This is Hermione, she's my…er…significant other," Severus said, looking down at his shoes uncomfortably.
"Oh?" The other ghost floated over to Hermione with a fox-like grin on his face. "Nice to meet you, were-lady. The name's Fred, and I am a certified poltergeist."
"Ah, don't listen to him," the other said. "We're both just standard spirits to tell the truth, but Fred here's got delusions of grandeur."
"Hmph!" Fred said with a sniff. "You say delusions, I say ambition. Same difference."
"Don't let my father know I'm coming. I want it to be a surprise," Severus said, his expression serious.
"Sure, sure, whatever you say, Dracula Junior," Fred said with a smirk as Severus poked a finger right through his form.
"I told you not to call me that!" Severus groused, but the two ghosts had already floated up high into the chandelier in the main foyer to check out their money and joke products.
"Shall we?" Hermione asked, taking his hand in hers before they stepped over the threshold into the castle.
As they strolled towards the Great Hall, Severus showed Hermione down the entrance hallway, pointing out various pieces of art and furnishings. "After I finally convinced him to let me go to university, my father decided to turn this place into a Bed and Breakfast. The castle has been around for ages, you see, and it's so massive and empty that even though it does have a few resident ghouls and ghosts, it's not nearly enough to keep the old man busy. So he's designed a place that's safe for the cryptids and creatures of the world to visit without."
As they neared the Great Hall, a few small gelatinous blobs with sunglasses and hats made their way down one of the spiraling staircases and slid across the floor, slipping through the partially open door without a word.
"Oh, don't mind them," Severus said. "The Goyle family is known for many things, but their conversational skills are not one of them. Just don't get too close. Their slime becomes caustic to clothing and skin when they get irritated."
Hermione was beginning to think that she was far more out of her depth than she'd expected to be. Sure, she'd expected human-shaped monsters, but some of these creatures were so simplistic in appearance that she wondered how they made their living and could afford to stay at a Bed and Breakfast.
This thought, of course, was stricken from her mind as Severus opened the door to the Great Hall and ushered her in with his hand protectively curled around her waist.
Inside, the room was filled with over a hundred different beings, from the green-skinned witches in maid outfits, to a siren-like woman with silvery hair and a beak. She turned to see a man and his son who looked like carbon copies of one another other than the fact that their torsos were much longer than normal and they had two small animal ears poking out the tops of their silky blond hair.
"Those are the Malfoys. Were-weasels," Severus whispered. "Very proud, but also not a particular threat unless you leave your ankles unguarded."
Hermione went a bit pink as she tried not to snort and twisted her lips into a very uncomfortable grin.
"Severus! My boy!" A loud, booming voice filled the air and both Hermione and Severus looked up to see a vampire grinning widely around his snow-white beard and purple and silver spangled robes. He looked a bit as if a confetti cannon had exploded onto a set of velvet drapes, but somehow the older vampire pulled off the look with aplomb.
Severus, on the other hand, regularly wore enough black that he would intermittently get sarcastically accused of being a "vampire or something" by random people.
Severus' father threw his arms around Severus without a moment's hesitation and Hermione felt a warm glow of the man's love for his son. Severus had told her how Albus Dumbledore had adopted him as a toddler when his parents succumbed to the blood wasting plague and could no longer care for him, but for all intents and purposes, Albus was the only father Severus had ever known.
The twinkling-eyed man gave Hermione a warm look that didn't quite meet his icy blue eyes. "And who is this? Met someone special at university, have we? A werewolf? Oh, Severus, you do know how to pick them."
"Her name is Hermione." Severus smiled anxiously. "We didn't mean to intrude on your party, Father. We simply meant to stop by to see how you were doing."
"Intrude? My son? Nonsense!" Albus clapped and the group of monsters went silent to allow him to make an announcement. "Everyone, please welcome Severus back to the Hogwarts B&B, and do be sure to give Hermione our customary welcome!"
Everyone howled, screamed, and screeched in response to this announcement, and if anything, the party twisted into high gear. A band of ghoulish-looking frog-creatures were being conducted by a diminutive goblin with a long nose and skin almost as green as the frogs. At the direction of Albus, he kicked up a red-hot jazz piece and the monsters began to dance and galavant across the dance floor. Hermione excused herself to go to the drink table, as she was beginning to feel parched.
"Hermione—" Severus started, but his father had already wrapped an arm around his shoulder and was telling him about all that he'd missed since his last visit.
At the punch table, Hermione learned two things. First, the punch was spiked with something called "zombie juice" and secondly, it was surprisingly good. Packed a punch and made her feel a bit dizzy, but with a twist of lime and a fruity zing she couldn't quite place. A moth-creature with sparkly silver tennis shoes introduced herself as Hermione grabbed some finger foods.
"Hello, girlfriend of Severus," the creature said, waving her antenna and blinking large, glowing eyes. "My name is Luna and I have so many questions for you. Is it true that you both live in the human world?"
"Er, yes," Hermione replied, feeling a bit shy as the creature loomed over her, wings fluttering with excitement.
"I heard that humans enjoy something called 'cricket.' I would greatly appreciate it if you would tell me about what roles the crickets and bats play in the game!" Luna said airily.
Hermione did her best to keep a straight face, but it was difficult. Luckily, the woman with the beak appeared, her skin practically glowing with a strange power.
"Luna, please be a dear and get me a canape," the new woman said, turning to Hermione as Luna did as she was asked. "Hello, I am glad to meet a werewolf that was integrated into human society. I was raised as a human, you see, but when I hit puberty, my other side began to show, and I was…abandoned."
"I'm sorry to hear that—?"
"Fleur. My parents adopted me, so I have no idea where my real family hails from. I've been told I'm a siren. Do you like my voice?"
Hermione had to admit, she was getting just a bit woozy from the melodious tone of Fleur's voice. She nodded dumbly in reply.
"Good. I'd like you to meet my boyfriend. He's also a werewolf. We'd love to ask you a few questions about your upbringing…"
A tall, ginger man with wolfish features that were far more convincing than Hermione's stage-make-up began to make his way over, his nose in the air as he caught her scent. He grinned, and his teeth were sharper than what ought to be in a human mouth. Hermione's fear shot through her, and she found herself able to move again.
"Thank you, but I really must be getting back to Severus," she said quickly, beating a swift retreat and allowing the cacophony of the party wash over her, drowning out the sound of the siren.
"Hermione, thank goodness, there you are." Severus had grasped her arm to keep her from slipping on a steady stream of mystery liquid. "Looks like Hagrid got into the spirits again, and I don't mean the ghosts."
Hermione looked at where Severus was pointing, and saw a man so large that she was unsure as to how he could have fit through the doors. He lolled on the floor, his goblet the size of a toilet.
"He says he's a half-giant," Severus continued, "but I'm not sure how that would make sense, unless the other half was an ogre or possibly mountain troll. Still, he's a decent bloke. Likes growing cabbage when he's not soused out of his mind."
"I'm getting the feeling that I may have overstayed my welcome," Hermione said, her voice low.
"I know. My father seems to have far more questions about your…er…pedigree, than I was comfortable with answering."
Hermione began to wonder if all the enthusiastic monsters that had nearly cornered her had been put up to it by the protective vampire. After all, Hermione knew how her parents had been when they'd met Severus, and that was with Severus doing his best to appear human.
"I think it's probably best that we retire for the evening."
Severus nodded in agreement and squeezed her hand. Both of them enjoyed going to parties, of course, but they both badly needed time to recharge afterwards, and this party had drained them both nearly to zero.
"Are you sure your dad isn't an energy vampire?" Hermione asked, as they finally got back into their car. Luckily, the theatrically tearful goodbye had only gone on for half an hour, and the boot was now filled to the brim with cellophane-wrapped goodies of dubious origin.
"Ha-ha," Severus said sarcastically, but his expression was amused. "If anything, I'd almost argue that he is the basis for the sparkling vampire trope."
"Oh, now, don't get me started!" Hermione replied, snickering as she turned off of the gravel drive and onto the highway.
"Well, at the very least, we can say we went to a fancy party and didn't lose any limbs or vital organs," Severus said, leaning back and yawning in his seat.
"A notable goal, to be sure," Hermione mused. "I did quite like Fred and George, though. And that moth-person with her cricket questions. In a way, I think I had more fun at that party than I have in a long time."
"Well, I suppose that there's always next time, if you're up for it," Severus suggested.
"Always," Hermione said, gripping his hand and squeezing gently to reassure him. "After all, I know I'll have a ghoulish good time as long as I'm by your side."
"Booooooo." Severus followed up his disapproving commentary with a pointed look for a long moment.
In the end, without warning, they both burst into peals of laughter, and the companionable silence that followed lasted them all the way home.
