After sixty million years crawling around in the dark, they finally found something interesting. Oh joy. Mimi was gonna die of boredom. Also she was missing three legs, and while she could get around fine without them it was annoying and she didn't want to crawl back to the Count without any treasure in hand. Just because of some dumb spiders.
You could recognize hot springs anywhere. A bubbling pool nestled in the rocks, glowing gently, fizzing with steam. Sure, these hot springs were in the middle of a dark cave who-knows-how-many miles underground, and the water was being vomited out by weird insect statues. No resort blue sky and infinity pool with gloriously suntanned men like in the magazines.
But anything was preferable to the absolute monotony of caves and spiders, and more caves and more spiders, and even more spiders. This pool was the real deal. Mimi could smell the sulfur. Or whatever distinctively fresh and piping-hot smell hot springs were supposed to have, these springs had it.
Even better: there was someone in there! Who wasn't trying to kill them on sight!
"Hello!" she called to the someone. The bug looked almost normal, two arms and two legs, with a random mask on their head for some reason. Bad fashion sense. But more importantly they didn't have the manic glazed eyes of all the other bugs down here, so they might actually be interesting.
The bug jumped up in alarm as she approached. Did she really look so bad? They were also a bug, they might understand... but to be fair, this place was dangerous. Maybe it had nothing to do with her.
"Hello!" she tried again. "We come in peace and stuff! As long as you don't attack us!"
The bug sank back into the water. "Oh, a friendly face! These caverns are ferocious. I thought you might bear ill intentions."
"Nope, we're only mean to people who deserve it."
More or less.
Dimentio floated out of the shadows. "Someone who listens to reason. Delighted to make your acquaintance, sir...?"
"My name is Quirrel. You don't need to call me 'sir'..." The bug's voice trailed off, he looked abashed, he coughed into an arm. "I'm an explorer. I came here drawn by tales of this dead kingdom. There are so many stories of this place, you know. A majestic ruin, with treasures and terrors to be found in the depths."
"Fascinating. May I ask, where did you—"
Oh golly they would blather on forever if she let them.
"Hey, does that pool work? It's not poison or anything? It looks super comfy."
Quirrel splashed the water with a spindly arm. The drops glistened, the springs gurgled. "The waters are warm. They carry certain healing properties, so they may be useful to you, actually."
Just what she wanted to hear! She tested a leg. It was warm. It was impossibly soothing. She splashed into the water and sighed in comfort, now this was the life. Her wounds healed, her legs stopped leaking oil, her gears readjusted and turned in perfect synchrony. Golly. "You're right, this is great."
Quirrel watched her regrow her limbs, new nodules emerging from the places where her previous ones had been gnawed or chopped or burned off. Finally six long, elegant, beautiful legs unfolded into the water. She curled them around herself and sank into the best pool of all time.
Dimentio gave her a look. Quirrel gave her a longer look, then looked back to him, then looked back to her. He had a thinking face on.
"I imagine you two are travelers as well? You have a foreign air about you... something of distant lands."
"You could say as much."
"Yup, sounds about right. I'm Mimi, by the way! But you can call me Mimikins if you want."
She beamed at the two of them. Dimentio cleared his throat—"And I am Dimentio. Master of dimensions, pleaser of crowds..." He swept forth in a low bow, then floated back up again. Dramatic as ever. "It is truly a delight to meet another soul on these lonely roads."
"We work for Count Bleck!" Mimi added, before he could spend ages introducing himself more.
Quirrel leaned back in the pool, studying the two of them. "Count Bleck?"
"Right, he's the best! He has a really great cloak, and—" And we'll help him remake the universe, but strangers don't react well to that. "And he has a castle and everything! Much better than this dinky place. And he's incredibly nice. Super nice. Ridiculously nice."
"He is very memorable, yes. We journeyed here on his behest, searching for treasure. Only in the most civilized capacity, I assure you! No intentions of plundering and looting. We act diplomatically."
"And he's actually pretty good at cooking, better than you'd expect, really, and sometimes he gets kinda dark and brooding but he's super tender at heart and his pasta is to die for. Even though he doesn't cook a lot because he's busy, um." Making plans to fulfill the prophecy that would let him remake the universe. But she couldn't say that, so what should she say—
Dimentio filled in for her. He was floating over the water, didn't even dip a toe into it. But then he hadn't been injured (letting her do all the hard work!). And floating was his thing, he rarely walked, she wasn't even sure if he slept. He was weird.
"You're the first friendly face we've met," he said. "Do you know the name of this land, perhaps?"
"Hallownest, it was once called. Now a ruin of its former self, hollowed out by time and malignant sorceries. Not much civilization remains."
Man he liked talking, but Mimi wasn't going to complain. "Nest, huh? Guess that explains all the spiders."
Quirrel dipped his head. "No shortage of them. It takes vigilance to survive here, and the kingdom is not kind to the unwary. This specific part of the kingdom is called Deepnest. The cartographer might have explained it to you, if you passed through the town above?"
"Oooh, there's a town?"
"Not in the best state, but it exists. Dirtmouth, high above the nest you inhabit now. You would need to go much farther up to reach it. There are a few other towns that have been eked out here, in the shell of this once-proud kingdom... I've heard tell of a nearby village, not so distant as Dirtmouth, but the inhabitants don't take graciously to strangers."
"Ah, well, I have no problem defending myself. And I'm sure Mimi here is perfectly capable."
"Of course I'm capable! I hope that was a serious compliment. Who was the one getting attacked by those zombie bugs while you floated around and laughed, huh? Huh?"
He doffed his hat at her. "Of course it was a perfectly serious compliment! Why would you think otherwise?"
Quirrel spoke up before she could answer. "Do you carry no weapons, then?" he asked, gesturing to a sword planted in the ground a few feet away. Pretty shiny sword, looked decent, even if Mimi wasn't a sword person. "I can't help but notice you don't carry nails, or anything else with you."
Look, a chance to show off her tricks! She shook her head, water splashing around her joints. "We're not that dumb. I mean, I don't have a sword, but I can do this!"
With a thought, six gleaming rubees emerged from her robotic carapace and floated in the air. Sharp and glittering. Mimi made them circle in the water, then splash in and out, then form all kinds of pretty shapes, while everyone watched. When she got bored, she vanished them in a sparkly flash of light.
Dimentio clapped. She decided it probably wasn't sarcastic clapping. "Thank you, thank you."
"We did not come unprepared," Dimentio added. He balanced a tiny dimensional box on his hat, and poofed it into a cloud of white smoke. Showoff.
"I see." Quirrel seemed impressed. Goal achieved! "There must be truly strange sorceries beyond this kingdom's bounds. I've never seen anything of that sort."
Mimi shrugged her many limbs, and then before Quirrel asked too many questions, "What happened to this place anyway? Everyone we met tried to murder us."
"A somber tale. The king fell, and the kingdom with it. A plague swept the land. All lies in ruin." He sighed. "As for the unearthly light that shines into the eyes of the dead... I don't know. Yes, these bodies once laid still and silent, hushed. Now they wake and stride the ruinous halls. Something must have stirred them to this simulacrum of life, though I'm not sure what exactly."
"Tragic," said Dimentio, shaking his head. He didn't look dismayed in the slightest.
Mimi whistled. "You sure know a lot about this place."
Back to looking abashed again. "I've met some other travelers, and people from the town. They told me what I needed to know."
"You've done a ton of exploring, right?"
"I suppose so."
"Sooooo since you're so smart and stuff, do you know if there's any gems here? Since that's the whole reason we came? Looking for gems and other valuable things?"
He leaned back, resting his arms on the stone. "I have, actually. High above this kingdom are the former mines, which abound with crystals. I believe Hallownest's bugs once mined them and used them as energy sources... The miners are still there, operating under the curse that has befallen this land. But now they continue on in dead silence, endlessly repeating former motions. They are blatantly hostile to all who approach... I've had unpleasant encounters with them."
"Lucky us," Mimi muttered.
"Will you try to mine the crystals? It may not be easy. They're sturdy, and they shine with an unearthly light. I've heard they may be cursed to warp the mind."
Wow, that didn't sound good.
"I wasn't aware," said Dimentio, who was now circling above the surface of the water. His little jester cape fluttered. "Do go on?"
"Staring into their light induces strange effects. Many have been driven to madness by those lights. But many have been driven to madness by the curse befallen here, in general. I've heard you must beware of dreams, illusions, and hallucinations. Especially dreams. I haven't had any issues so far, but it is something to know."
"Sooo it's not dangerous to us, is it?"
"It could be, depending on who you are... the fortitude of your mind. I myself have had no issues."
Mimi rubbed her eyes, or where her eyes would be if she wasn't currently a giant spider. "So let me get this straight, they might drive us insane? And you didn't think to tell me this before we went on this stupid journey? Dimentio?"
"Now, now—" Dimentio raised his hands. "As I said, this is also new information to me. I didn't know that beforehand, really! I sincerely apologize."
"Sincerely."
"Sincerely. We do have a resident mental expert on hand, so I'm sure we will be fine! Nastasia is an expert in these matters, and I am confident in my own mental fortitude. Are you confident in your own mental fortitude, Mimi?"
"Sure," she muttered, hoping it was true. Trust Dimentio to put the two of them in some bizarre murder dimension full of zombies and dreams that could drive you insane. She had her work cut out for her. With a long sigh, Mimi sank further into the spring water.
"So," Dimentio said.
And now he would do his part of the talking, which would take forever. Mimi disengaged from the conversation.
At Dimentio's prodding, the traveler engaged them with half-recalled tales and described various regions that were interesting enough for Mimi to pay vague attention. Some sounded almost lovely, almost picturesque, almost perfect tourist destinations she might have visited if the whole place wasn't riddled with murderous zombie bugs.
"Are there very many?"
"I haven't found a place clear of them so far—"
Mimi shuddered.
Then for a great long while (a ridiculous deathly boring long while), the two of them sat speculating on the history and culture of the former land. The political structure, the system of governance, the reigning sociopolitical classes etc. etc., all subjects Dimentio took in with disproportionate interest. Come on these people were DEAD, how did he not get that? Why sit so long and bother discussing the ancient dark arts of a random 2.5k year dead civilization, archeology, prehistorics, the dry minutiae of the mouldering bones long buried. Why bother debating merits of stone vs spidersilk data storage? (Everyone knew digiplex thrice-enchanted paper was better, but she was not about to have that technological discussion right now nor expose the stranger to the intricacies of their very foreign and doubtless unfamiliar sciences.)
She really couldn't take it anymore, she was gonna die of boredom. And maybe some anxiety over the whole zombies and insanity-inducing dreams thing, but she was trying to ignore that. At least she had a super warm water bath to keep her company. Lesser robotic creations disdained water or fled from it in mortal terror, but she was water soluble. Her expertly designed joints soaked in the springs like they were the lap of luxury. Maybe they were. Close your eyes, imagine rose petals, water trailing like a volley of white rose petals over her six jointed limbs... oiling her interior...
Mimi snoozed. She laid back in the water and let her gears soak in the "soul energy" of the springs (something about magical healing essence, leylines, they discussed it and it passed her by). Her six legs sprawled. This was the good life.
Lesser robotic lifeforms lacked the ability to eat or breathe or sleep. They relied on charging and assistance from their creators or owners (the horror!). But as a mimic extraordinaire she could do all those things, and she did.
She dreamed normally of glittering things, pretty little processes and subprocesses in the magical strata of her mind. A mess of numbers, the wiring of her internals laid a little more bare to her. But this was something different. An orange haze enveloped her, a searing light pushed into her dream. The pressure weighed on her, her mind bottomed out into a pit. Was there something there? Or somebody?
Orange dots rippled through the fabric of her head. She bubbled down through layers of numbers, manifesting as binary bits and blips. Then as lines and squares, sketching out a dream. Squares skittered on the walls. Cubes hovered in the air, glowing particulate matter, each one a running process.
The ground gave way. The cubes opened beneath her, a hole gaped, and she fell through.
No more war, no more hatred, no more poverty. With dark powers beyond the scope of time he shall wipe it all away and we start with a clean slate. Past sins erased. He orates grandly. The black halls shine and his voice flutes through those arching chambers. His words were dynamic, his movements fluid, like a stage magician he charmed the audience. He spoke with utter confidence. He had a book in which all fate was recorded and the devout would be rewarded when the end was nigh. His every plan was guided by divine fate, so he could not fail.
In all her travels across the worlds she had met nobody with such instant force of character. It was not his odd accent or stilted manner of speech that drew her in, but his passion. The fervent manner of voice, the timbre of his dead eyes—and the one eye shining with a burning desire that might have been madness behind his monocle.
She was captivated instantly. All her life she wandered adrift with nobody and nothing to support her. She met all manner of people but hid her true face and desires from them, and knew they were incompatible from the start. There might have been something ugly about her that everyone saw no matter how she tried to hide it. Her words rang false, her movements rang mechanical. She acted with robotic certitude and they knew her for a liar. But not him.
When he accepted her into the fold, she knew she'd found something she was willing to fight for, maybe to die for. She wanted that perfect world more than anything, and not just for herself.
Later she would discover the Prognosticus was not as accurate as she had been led to believe, and his visions of a perfect world were tattered at the seams. The prophecy was vague. He glossed over her questions. The secretary handled more organizational work than expected, most of it actually, and what did he spend his time doing? Gazing out the window as if searching for something long lost, and in his movements old sorrows were dredged. But by then she had already joined his cause. Might as well dedicate herself. She trusted him. Good pay.
A BANG right by her auditory sensors stirred her to a rude awakening. Dimentio hovered above her, his conversation apparently ended. Probably he'd woken her up with those weird exploding boxes of his. Was he smirking, or was it just the mask?
"I'm sure you had a wonderful nap, Mimi, but we can't tarry here forever. You do know the Count will be expecting us back at some point?"
"Sure sure," Mimi muttered. She retreated into herself, reconfigured her limbs. Her legs retracted. She sprouted a torso and legs and a cute ruffled sundress and looked more like a normal girl, though she wouldn't pass as normal here. Too blocky.
She could have taken the form of something else, some skittering bug, to stand out less. But no one remained to be suspicious of them. No guards or king to take them in for questioning. No need to blend in, and the kingdom received its fair share of travelers anyway, so who cared?
Quirrel saluted them as they left, then bowed his head, the mask casting his true face in shadow. "Goodbye," he called. "Best of luck to you."
His voice faded as the springs vanished behind them, their warm glow replaced by an oppressive darkness. The stench returned. The breeze that blew was a dead wind, and it reeked of unburied things left to moulder silently, violently, in the caves. Crawling and skittering and rolling their putrefying bodies in the filth. Nope, she still wasn't coming back here if she could help it.
