TW: transphobia, homophobia, transphobic/homophobic slurs, bullying, description of sensory overload

Takes place in/before my Teenvengers!AU. Read my fic Teenagers Scare The Living Shit Out Of Me


Peter Benjamin Parker had been through some shit.

I mean, yeah, he's trans, it comes with the package deal. But Peter thinks that getting bitten by a radioactive spider and then watching your uncle die, well that's just shitty.

You could say that it all started when he got bitten by that spider, but he thinks it really started back in 5th grade at Midtown Elementary.

Penny Belle Parker was what the teachers called a "gifted" kid. She got exceptional grades, she knew a ton of science-y shit, all that jazz. The only problem was... well.

"She's... quirky." One of her teachers commented, making a face. "She's a sweet girl, very polite, but she's just..."

"An odd one, that kid is!" The local librarian, who saw her frequently, laughed a little. "Completely obsessed with-"

"Tony Stark, for whatever reason." Her uncle Ben grumbled. "Says he's a genius. The girl idolizes him- she's even started dressing like him! She keeps asking for sunglasses and blazers. Where the hell am I supposed to find blazers made for an eleven year old?"

Indeed, Penny was a strange little creature. Eleven years old, diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety, and autism, a gremlin-shaped genius bundle of energy and passion. She was basically your stereotypical nerd, obsessed with Star Wars and comic books and technology and science. She wore t-shirts and jeans that were intentionally baggy. One day, in the middle of the night, she went in the bathroom with a pair of kitchen scissors and chopped all her hair off. When asked why, the only explanation that she gave was that it was so long she felt like she'd "pull all her hair out of her head if she had to brush it out of her face one more time."

And she flourished. Like a fire on woods.

But, see, that's the thing with flourishing. Someone always has to stamp it out.


After her aunt and uncle took her to a barber (because "honestly, it looks like a rats nest! Did you cut it blindfolded?") it was hard to tell whether she was a girl or a boy. And she was fine with that. Oddly enough, she was filled with a pleasant sense of satisfaction whenever a stranger mistook her for a boy.

But when she went to school that week, her teachers were... less enthusiastic. She got funny looks from adults and children alike.

That evening, Penny overheard a conversation when she was supposed to be asleep.

"Can you believe them!" Aunt May rubbed her forehead in exasperation. "I mean, come on! So what if she looks like a boy? Her hair is fine!"

Uncle Ben crossed his arms and shook his head. "Those goddamn teachers- see, this is exactly why I don't like teachers! The nerve of those dipshits! How dare they call us and accuse us of- what'd they say again, May?"

"They said," Aunt May drawled, "That we're 'brainwashing our child' and we need to stop 'forcing her to look like a boy.'"

"Forcing her?! She cut it herself! That's bullshit!"

Aunt May swatted Ben's arm. "Language, Ben. We have a child in the house."

He rolled his eyes. "Bah! She's asleep. Who cares?"

"Ben." She said warningly, raising her eyebrows.

"But you've gotta admit, it is bullshit! Come on, this is the twenty first century! Why in the fucking hell does it matter if her hair's short?"

Aunt May just sighed, looking exhausted. "I don't know, Ben. I don't know."

Penny tiptoed back to her room after that, heart beating. She winced when the door creaked as she closed it.

She stared into her reflection in the mirror on her desk. Running her fingers through her hair, she replayed the conversation in her mind. Did it really matter that much? Was hair that big of a deal?

She was a girl. But she had a boy's haircut. Were girls not allowed to? But she liked having a boy's haircut! It made her look...

She paused, and her eyes burned with the beginnings of tears. It made her look like herself.

It wasn't fair! A boy gets to have a boy's haircut, and no one blinks. But if a girl has a boy's haircut, it was a big deal? How does that make any sense?

She eventually crawled into bed and fell into an uneasy sleep.


The next morning at school, one of her teachers pulled her aside. Penny was a smart girl- everyone said so- but her teacher said a lot of things she didn't quite get. Like, something about transformers? No- transgenders? And Penny being a boy? Penny didn't really know what she was talking about. She used a lot of words that Penny knew, but not in a way that she'd heard before. Like gender and boy and girl and transition and presentation and identity. And she refused to explain what she meant, even when Penny asked nicely.

So she just shook her head to everything and said she had to go to the bathroom. As she was leaving that confusing talk, she passed by a classmate in the hallway. Flash Thompson- who'd been in the same class as her since first grade.

Flash had obviously been listening in. But instead of looking confused, he looked more... disgusted? He smirked at her mockingly, and Penny knew it meant trouble.

Flash Thompson had always been a jerk. The literal definition of toxic masculinity personified. But he'd never really bothered Penny. She was quiet and kept to herself- just invisible enough to be ignored.

Now, for whatever reason, she'd been made a target.

From then on, Flash and his ugly-ass friends teased her constantly. They called her a tranny, an attention whore, a faggot, a dyke, whatever they could think of. It didn't take very long to figure out what they meant.

One day, though, out of curiosity, she googled the most common of their insults. "Tranny." Several articles popped up talking about slurs and transgender people.

And, well, eleven year old Penny Parker knew what a slur was, but she had no clue what a "transgender" person was. So, she googled that. And several searches later led her down a rabbit hole called an identity crisis.

One article suggest trying out different pronouns using something called "pronoun dressing room." So... she figured, why not?

Because eleven year old Penny Parker had never been called anything other than a she. So she tried out different pronouns. They/them was cool. Xe/xem was neat! He/him was-

Oh.

Oh.

OH SHIT.

For Penny Parker's twelfth birthday, he asked for a chest binder.


"I want to be called a boy."

Silence fell over the dinner table. He'd been anxious about this topic for a few months, debating in his head whether he was actually trans and whether he actually wanted to tell anyone. What if he was wrong? What if no one accepted him? What if-

"Do you want a new name?" Aunt May asked, twirling spaghetti onto her fork.

"I-" He blinked. "I haven't thought of one yet..." That caught him off guard. Of all the things he expected her to say, it wasn't that. He'd imagined countless scenarios, each worse than the last, of her calling him a freak, or kicking him out, or hitting my him. Of course, he knew she'd never do any of those things. But he'd heard many stories about that happening to trans kids, and he had anxiety.

Ben clapped his hands together, eyes twinkling. "What about Peter? That's what your parents were thinking about naming you."

Peter.

He turned that name around in his mind, inspecting it and deliberating. Peter. He nodded, unable to hold back a grin. That name sounded right.

Peter B. Parker. It had a nice ring to it.


Aunt May and Uncle Ben helped him pick out some new clothes. They talked to him about talking to a doctor for hormone treatment, whether that's something he'd want to do. They read books and articles and pamphlets when they thought he wasn't looking about how to raise a trans kid.

Peter thought his heart would burst. He'd never imagined he'd be so lucky as to have two relatives as incredible as them.

Things at school... weren't as great. The bullying got worse, but the teachers never did anything no matter how many times he reported them. He never told Ben and May. They worried enough as it was.

So... he just, took it.

He didn't have any friends. People said he was too awkward and weird. The only people who talked to him were bullies, and they only laughed mockingly when he told them to call him Peter.

"Hah, look!" Flash jeered. "It thinks that it's a boy! News flash- you're a girl, whether you like it or not! No amount of drugs or plastic surgery will change that."

Another kid spat at his shoes. "Fucking dyke!"

"I bet it's just looking for attention, aren't you? You little whore!"

Thirteen year old Peter Parker wondered where kids learned to be so horrible.

One day, in the middle of the first semester of seventh grade, Peter was having a good week. Flash and his clique were leaving him alone. He got a new science book. Ben bought him ice cream. He was going to be starting testosterone soon. Things were looking up.

He put on his oversized hoodie, plugged in his headphones, got an iced coffee on the way to school, and was immediately greeted with the sight of another kid getting bullied. Great. Fantastic way to start a day.

He tried not to groan as he sipped his coffee. It was seven in the fucking morning. Could Flash and the dipshits not take a break?

His curiosity was piqued when he noticed that they were bullying an unfamiliar kid. One who had three pins on their jacket. A Star Wars pin, an atom pin, and a rainbow pin.

Huh. Well, what do you know. Flash had a type that he liked to bully.

Peter was inclined to sneak away and pretend he didn't see anything. He did not have the energy to deal with Flash this early. Especially since he hadn't even finished his coffee! But... that'd just be a dick thing for him to do. And as much as he wished he had a dick, he knew he had to intervene.

The bloody nose and detention were hard to explain to Aunt May. But it was worth it when the kid shyly came up to him and asked if he wanted to build legos sometime. His name was Ned.


Peter sat on his bed, twiddling his thumbs anxiously. Uncle Ben picked him up from school and said he was going to "talk" to him when they got home. That couldn't be good.

He didn't regret what he did. Flash had it coming. But his gut twisted with guilt whenever he thought about the blood he got on his knuckles, and how Flash had to go to the nurse to get bandages.

His door creaked as Uncle Ben came in. His easygoing smile was missing from his face, and he looked very serious.

He stood by his door for a few seconds awkwardly before sighing heavily and walking over. Peter scooted over as Uncle Ben joined him on his bed.

"Alright, kiddo." Ben said. He rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Why'd you hit that kid? Give it to me straight."

Peter gnawed on the inside of his cheek. "He was bullying someone." He answered in a small voice.

Ben raised his eyebrows. "Did you know the person he was bullying?"

He shook his head. "They- um, they had a Star Wars pin. And a pride pin."

"That so?" Uncle Ben sighed again. "You couldn't've gotten a teacher?"

"The teachers never do anything!" Peter scowled, gripping his sheets tightly. "Flash's dumb parents donate a sh- a lot of money to the school. He gets away with everything!"

Peter didn't dare look at Uncle Ben's face. He didn't regret hitting Flash. He couldn't. Not after seeing the gratitude in that kid's eyes. He didn't care if he got in trouble, or if Ben thought he was a bad person for hitting a dude.

To his enormous surprise, Ben chuckled and patted him on the back. Peter finally looked at his uncle. There was nothing but pride in his face. Ben beamed at him.

"Now listen kid," Uncle Ben leaned back in his bed. "I'm not encouraging violence, alright? But you did good. You defended someone you didn't even know, just because you knew it was the right thing. Son, you've got a good heart. I'm proud of you, Peter."

A lump formed in Peter's throat and he blinked back tears. Uncle Ben called him son. And he was proud of him. Ben sat up and ruffled his hair.

"Don't make this a regular occurrence though!" He elbowed his side. "You'll give your Aunt May a heart attack out of worry!"


Peter and Ned clicked right away.

Ned, as it turns out, was "pan and maybe agender? Oh- agender means, like, no gender. But you probably knew that- I dunno. Hey, have you seen Star Wars?"

Aunt May and Uncle Ben were thrilled when Peter asked if he could invite Ned over. They'd worried for years about Peter's lack of friends. Some people just don't need friends, and that's fine, but Peter was so clearly lonely and they couldn't fill that hole. Sure, he had Gwen, but she was his cousin and didn't really count.

They watched Star Wars together, and Ben made popcorn and cookies for them. They made a game of staying up late and didn't fall asleep until nearly 5am- effectively destroying their sleep schedules. The two were peas in a pod.

It was almost eerie how quickly they became friends, like they were made to be bros. They had the same interests and same sense of humor. Ned and Peter, inseparable friends, them against the world.

Flash bothered them less. Whether it was because Peter beat him up or because two targets at once were more intimidating than one, who knows?

Things were going really good for Peter B. Parker. Awesome, even.

And then everything went to shit.


Oscorp. Second only to Stark Industries in the field of science. Their groundbreaking genetics research was incredible! Revolutionary, even!

Peter read book after book, article after article. One particular scientist stood out from the rest- Dr. Connors. Some praised him as a "modern Einstein," others called him a mad scientist.

He was Peter's idol. Well, next to Iron Man.

When Midtown High got the chance to visit Oscorp on a field trip, Peter was ecstatic. Bouncing off the walls, squealing, fanboying ecstatic. It was almost funny.

He packed his bag with his camera (hopefully they would let him take pictures), several books, his notebook, and a bunch of snacks that Aunt May made him bring.

He shouldered his backpack and strode out the door, walking for a few steps before skipping in excitement. He got to school early, meeting Ned by the lockers.

"Can you believe it?!" Peter smiled so big he cheeks hurt. "We're getting a tour of Oscorp! Oscorp!"

"I know!!" Ned made a motion with his hands like he was shaking them- that meant he was excited too. "Isn't it crazy? I heard that we'll even get to see some of the labs and talk to the scientists!"

It was a dream come true for the two wide eyed nerds. Not even Flash's new "Penis Parker" insult could ruin it.

Oscorp was huge and shiny and oh my god what does that machine do? It was so big and cool! The place was a science nerd's wet dream. Peter snapped photos of everything.

Because Midtown High was known for being an elite science school, they were granted a tour of some of the labs that most ordinary students weren't allowed to see. Like Dr. Conners' lab!

When they entered his lab, Peter was practically drooling. Dr. Connors was right. There. In front of him! Right there! They were breathing the same air!

His lab was basically out of a sci-fi movie. Clean white walls, various colored test-tubes, all kinds of complex-looking machines, clear cages with different animals in them. Lizards, mice. What caught Peter's attention was a glass cage full of spiders.

They weren't like any kind of spider that he'd seen before. They were bright red, with a blue oval shape on their backs. They were tiny, too- about the size of his fingernail.

Their movements were mesmerizing, but unlike any movements he'd ever seen from a spider. They jumped from one place to another, crawled up and down the cage, almost like small eight-legged acrobats.

Peter stared at them for a minute before returning his gaze to Dr. Connors, who'd noticed his curiosity. The scientist's eyes glinted as he strode towards him.

"So you're curious about my spiders." He gestured to the cage, and everyone else's gazes followed. "You see, these particular spiders are one of a kind- I assume you are all familiar with natural selection?"

Various students nodded and murmured. Dr. Connors looked pleased.

"Well, there is a specific kind of gardening known as atomic gardening. Is anyone familiar with that?"

Peter raised his hand. He was the only one. He nervously began to put it down when everyone stared at him, but the scientist clapped his hands.

"You, in the Stranger Things shirt!"

Peter gulped. "W-well, uh..." Why did his voice have to be so high and squeaky? He cleared his throat. "It's a kind of farming where the farmers expose plants to gamma rays, typically colbat-60. The idea is to speed up the process of natural selection by breeding the rare plants that survive or thrive, even though most plants typically die or get sick. The fascinating thing is that-"

He stopped himself. Shit, I started rambling again. And in front of The Doctor Connors! "S-sorry." He mumbled, face heating up.

The doctor shook his head, giving Peter a warm smile. "No, continue. What's the fascinating thing?"

"Well..." Peter fiddled with a bracelet on his wrist. "The fascinating thing is that even though bombarding plants with radioactive rays sounds crazy, it actually produced some good results. There are a bunch of foods and stuff that were genetically modified that people eat today. And the plants that were exposed aren't harmful to people, either! It's actually really cool!"

"Exactly!" Dr. Connors pulled out a notebook from his coat pocket. "That was a wonderful explanation! You see, what we've done with the spiders is similar to what was done on the gamma gardens. These spiders, which we're calling Gamma-Spiders, have gone through many phases of radiation and selective breeding, and we believe that they might be some of the most incredible spiders in the world."

He revealed various photos from his notebook. The first was an ordinary-looking spider. The next was one of the Gamma-Spiders, with a limb missing. The next was that same spider with webs wrapped around where its limb used to be. And finally, the last photo was of a completely uninjured Gamma-Spider.

"Our tests have shown," Dr. Connors began as students crowded around to see the pictures. "That these Gamma-Spiders have incredible regenerative abilities. Spiderwebs are known for having healing properties, but this is on a whole other level."

He went on to explain some different experiments, but Peter's mind remained on the spiders. Something about them was entrancing.

He completely forgot about them when the alarms went off.

They were loud, loud, and blaring red. A voice came over the loudspeaker, instructing people to remain where they were.

The doctor swore under his breath and typed something on his phone. "What's happening?!" He hissed into a walkie-talkie.

A couple of security guards barged in. "Nobody move! There's been a break in!"

The students murmured to each other with growing panic. A few of them looked like they were about to break into hysterics. Ned gripped the sleeve of Peter's hoodie.

"Dude, this is crazy!" Ned said fearfully. Peter just nodded. His hands had been clamped on his ears since the alarms started going off. They wouldn't stop.

Come on Peter, regulate your breathing. He reminded himself. Just like May taught you.

He couldn't panic and freak out. Not now. He could do that later, when he was nice and safe and at home where it was quiet.

If only the alarms would just stop! I mean, come on! They got the message! Why the fuck did the alarms need to be so fucking loud and persistent and unpleasant and loud and-

"Peter!" Ned shook him slightly. His eyebrows were scrunched together in concern.

"What?!" He snapped. Ned flinched, and Peter immediately regretted it. "Sorry, I didn't mean to- sorry."

"Are you okay? I know that you don't like loud noises."

That was an understatement. Peter pressed his lips together. "I'm- fine." He managed to ground out.

Which, of course, was the perfect time for something to crash into the lab.

Peter had no clue who or what it was, but it was a bright, goblin green and it was speeding around the lab causing destruction. It knocked over vials, books. Glass shattered everywhere. The students screamed and hid underneath tables.

And then there was this laugh- a maniacal, twisted, gleeful laugh. It was the stereotypical "villain" laugh that you see in Disney movies. It was almost comically evil.

It finally slowed down enough to stop being a green blur, and Peter got a good look at it. Or rather, him. A hideously green man in a ruined suit, a tie hanging loosely around his neck. The security guards began shooting at him, but he chuckled gleefully and flew away on- a hoverboard??

One of the guards ordered the kids and the doctor to leave. But as they were, Peter saw a flash of blue and red out of the corner of his eye. The spiders. They'd gotten loose.

He shook his head. He couldn't worry about that now. He ran out of the lab, away from the weird goblin guy.


I'm sure you could guess what happened next.

Peter got bit, made a costume based off of the mysterious red and blue spiders, and then tried to go after Green Goblin.

He failed, and as a result, he stood in front of his uncle's grave a few days later.

The skies were clear and blue, turning orange at the edges as the sun set. Behind him, he could hear the stifled sobs of his cousin and aunt.

He didn't sob. He didn't do anything. He just stood there in front of the grave, staring at the name BENJAMIN PARKER numbly. There was something cold in his chest, like a knife, carving out all of his insides until he was hollow.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and he flinched, turning to see his aunt staring at him with puffy red eyes. She was carrying a box- how long had she had that?

"Peter," May's voice wobbled, "Here. He wanted- he wanted you to have this." She handed the box to him gingerly.

Peter took it. It wasn't a conscious decision, more like a reflex. He opened it.

It was Be- his uncle's camera. His uncle loved that camera. He took it with him everywhere, snapping pictures of anything and everything he found even mildly interesting.

There were photographs in the box, too, of all the mundane things that Ben loved. Ice cream, the sky, trees, cool cars, a raccoon with a piece of pizza.

And his family. There were tons and tons of pictures of Peter, May, and Gwen. Stacks of them.

Peter thumbed through the photos carefully. He sat down in front of the grave and spent what could've been ten minutes or three hours, he wasn't sure, inspecting each individual picture as though they had the secrets to the universe.

May and Gwen left at some point. He didn't notice.

After he finally ran out of photos to look through, a realization struck him.

There wasn't a single picture of Ben in the entire box.

It felt as though there had been a wall of ice around his heart and that revelation was a pickaxe, tearing it down mercilessly.

One tear rolled down his cheek, and then another, and then another until he was sobbing and gasping and drowning in grief.

Because Ben took photos of things that he loved, and he loved everything around him, and he spent his life appreciating everyone except himself and now he was gone and he didn't leave Peter a single photo of himself.

Peter wanted to scream.

He didn't, though. He couldn't.

He looked back up at the grave, and words BENJAMIN PARKER burned into his mind.

"Remember, Peter. With great power comes great responsibility, alright? Don't forget that. Make me proud, and beat this guy."

Peter beat Green Goblin, at a higher cost than he ever wanted. Norman Osborn was in a SHIELD prison, but his uncle was dead.

(He wanted to kill him. He wanted to kill Osborn. It was Ben who stopped him.)

(It was Ben who steered him right.)

Peter B. Parker shakily stood up, wiped the tears off his face, and clutched his uncle's camera close to his chest.

Peter Benjamin Parker whispered to a dead man's grave, "I'll make you proud, Ben."