The transit ride and walk back to his home was near silent, and Grant was glad for that. He'd learned a lot, but he was still a long way from understanding the situation. As he did, he considered what to do next. The next angel attack would come eventually, but when was totally unknown to him. In the meantime making sure his titan was prepared would be a priority for the team he'd been assigned, but there were still other tasks he'd set upon. The next day he'd return to the scholam for the historical and language lessons, but during his spare time, it'd be easier to just leave and research other topics on his own. Military and spacefaring technology was something he knew little about, and convincing NERV to upgrade the ground batteries he'd seen during his first fight could prove essential.

Sitting at his terminal he requested information on the previous battles against the angels before his arrival. The details of their capabilities, the equipment NERV had on hand, and how they'd been defeated. As the system processed his request he noticed it required three differing "MAGI" to be in "agreement", why would a simple security clearance checker need to agree within itself? A question for another time.

The data started to appear, and Grant began to read.

Directed energy and close combat weapons of varying types and complexities had been used by different angels, no angel phenotypes were similar enough that they could be categorized without advanced auspex systems or dissection. Each had simply appeared outside of detection range before making a direct course for either the Evangelions in transit or Toyko-3 itself. As he dug further into the reports there was mention of a Typer-12 Mortar, used against the third angel to attack the city.

While it had been ineffective, the specifications gave him pause. Its power output and firing data against RHA marked it as a threat to a titan not too far below the type of Volcano Cannon used on a Shadowsword, not a weapon a crew could ignore. A battery of them could probably force him to disengage.

He marked the information as important and continued on well into the night. Tanks, aeronautica, and the yields of "N2" plasma bombs, all potentially of use to NERV in some form. Notably missing were descriptions of weapons more fit for infantry use. Small arms, anti-personnel warheads, toxicological and biogenic weapons all were not just redacted but simply absent.

It seemed NERV didn't anticipate an attack by non-xenos, and while it made sense for a military organization to focus on their primary threat, it also meant that the people who would have to deal with the aftermath of such a conflict, those who'd actually be fighting in it, were being ignored.

When the war was won, what would happen then? There was no unity on Earth, there had even been at least one deployment of Eva Unit-1 against a runaway titan. Why neglect such a huge vulnerability?

Seeking answers to that question, Grant felt, would be just as dangerous as trying to wring answers from the God-Emperor's Inquisition. When a sinkhole that large is left somewhere so easy to see, you don't explore it without a good harness, and a good sidearm.

The next morning, after a quick breakfast, Grant headed to the school. Amends had to be made, with a few days between now and the last battle he'd realized his mistakes. Having Shinji on his side would be essential.

The Princeps Maximus would have been happy with how personally detached Grant was becoming, the endless lessons about negotiations, and the strange dance of hierarchy between wildly different power structures and cultures coming into play.

The halls of the school were empty, he'd arrived earlier than the vast majority of students. The rest of the year would be spent in a series of tests, but for now, he could relax.

The doors to the classroom were open, and he stepped inside.

"Hey, Grant!" Shinji called out as he walked in, "I'm glad to see you're here."

"Good morning, Shinji." Grant replied, "I'm sorry I couldn't make the last few days, I had to rest for quite a while."

"That's fine, I'm sure you needed it," Shinji replied.

Grant paused for a moment, unsure of where to start.

"I've been thinking, and I realize that I may have acted rashly."

"What do you mean?"

"You secured a close combat kill with minimal damage to your Evangelion, you cut through that angel like it was nothing. I was disrespectful afterward when we talked."

"I wasn't expecting you to apologize, but thank you," Shinji said.

"You're a good pilot, Ikari. You're the kind of material titan legions are built on."

"I know, I'm not going to let you down, or the others. But you need to understand something, I never wanted to pilot."

Grant almost cut him off, "We don't do it because we want to, we do it because nobody else can."

Shinji paused, "Is that why you pilot?"

"If I don't, who else will? Even if another person could do it, could we afford to lose someone capable? This is a war for survival, some things are fixed. I'll do what I must."

"I'm not saying you shouldn't, I'm just curious."

"I know, I just... I feel like I need to say this."

"Go ahead."

"I am blessed, but everything comes at a price," the Princeps continued, "I couldn't live knowing what I could become, what I could do, and still reject that future. I'd rather die than be a coward who rejected the chance the Emperor gave me to make a difference."

Shinji considered his words for a few moments, letting the silence hang in the air, "I can see why you think that, but not everyone sees it the same way. Some of us would rather not be a part of the fight at all, and that's okay. We're not machines, and we don't have to do what we do. If you really believe that you should do what you have to, that's your choice."

The next lesson was on the early history of humankind, something Grant was awed by. To be so early in the scale of history, so close to the first days when humans tapped into that knowledge of iron and bronze, of paper and sword. He could barely imagine the thrill of discovery, the excitement of learning something new, and knowing you were the first human to ever have a thought cross your mind.

The teacher was a man named Yomikawa, he was a tall and thin man, with a long face and a short beard. He was a historian, and he'd been teaching the class for over a decade. He spoke about the first seeds planted, the first plows and spears forged from simple metals, and the first people to organize themselves into the first cities.

Most of the class typed private messages or quietly conversed, paying little or no attention, but Grant was totally enraptured. He was in a room full of people, and yet he was alone. He was in a place he'd only dreamed of, and he was the center of it.

Yomikawa was explaining the rise of the first empires, and Grant found himself finding comparisons everywhere. The first nations, the first kingdoms, the first republics, the first dictatorships. All of them were born of human thought, repeated throughout history in endless patterns. Many would be barely a blink in the eye of the twelve-thousand-year imperium, yet in the here and now they were eternal and undying for their own time.

He was enthralled by the story, and his eyes were wide as he scratched his notes into paper. He was so focused that he didn't notice the other students were staring at him, whispering among themselves.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't hear the bell ring, signaling the end of the period. Shinji approached him, standing beside his desk.

"Hey Grant, do you want to catch lunch?"

Grant didn't look up, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to miss the bell. I got caught up in the lecture, I didn't even realize the hour had passed."

"It's fine, I just wanted to invite you to eat with us."

He shook his head, "Sorry, Ikari. I need some time."

"I understand, but I hope you come around."

Grant continued to stare at the notes, the world turning around him.