Hello, everybody! Jack of Knaves coming at you with a new Splatoon fanfiction! You know, I really, really love Splatoon 3, especially the single-player campaign, mainly because there are rampant communication errors that plague the online features, like Turf Wars, Anarchy Battles, and Salmon Run, and given how many people have the same issue that I've seen online, my internet is certainly not the issue.
That aside, I do have one issue with The Return of the Mammalians campaign: where the heck are Agent 4 and Agent 8? I mean, Off the Hook is coming back in a Paid DLC and they got mentioned in a Sunken Scroll, but Agent 4 and Agent 8, the heroes of Splatoon 2 and the Octo Expansion? They aren't even mentioned in a Sunken Scroll or by Cuttlefish, the Squid Sisters, or the Captain/the Original Agent 3 (through Marie), like they don't even exist or something.
And thus, I decided to write this, a reimagining of The Return of The Mammalians storyline/campaign that stars not only Agent 4 and Agent 8 alongside the Squid Sisters and the original Agent 3, but Off the Hook as Agents 5 and 6 of the Squidbeak Splatoon because why not.
Anyways, I've gone on for long enough. Let's get started!
Prologue
The Splatlands-Splatsville Station
A teenage female Inkling with a yellow shoulder-length tentacle cut with the left tentacle tied into a braid, clad in a tattered white t-shirt, black shorts, heavy gray boots, a tattered brown hooded cape, a pair of shades, and a gray facemask with a Tri-Stringer and ink tank strapped onto her back stood waiting anxiously for the train. This was Rei, and she was just a scavenger and junk dealer.
That is, until very recently, where she'd managed to find herself some items from the Great Turf War that scored her a very big payday. Enough of a payday that she was finally able to afford a train ticket and an apartment in the self-proclaimed City of Chaos, Splatsville.
A fond smile crossed Rei's face as she recalled finding, and ultimately selling, her big score. Of course, odds are, she'd never have hit that jackpot if it hadn't been for a certain someone that was always at her side.
Rei's smile grew even fonder as her gaze turned towards a Smallfry Salmonid that had an orange tuft of what seemed like hair on its head that stood obediantly at her side. This was Little Buddy, or Bud, for short. As Rei gazed upon the Salmonid that she'd hatched right out of his egg (at least Rei ASSUMED Bud was male, as she didn't really know enough about Salmonid physiology to call it one way or another), she thought back to how she came across that egg in the first place…
Two Months Earlier-Rei's Shack aka Rei's Emporium o' Stuff, Knickknacks, And Doo-Dads
Rei sat at her counter, her head in her hand as she drummed her fingers on the surface. Business was slow… again. Not that she actually got much business outside of those exotic-looking and unusually tall Inklings, usually wearing some form of military equipment and carrying weapons that made her think twice about overcharging them. Not that that was a problem, as the strange Inklings did pay her rather well when they came calling.
That aside, if she didn't get any customers soon, she'd have to sell some of her stock to Jelunkar Plutt. Unfortunately, nothing she had in her stock was worth more than one-quarter portion of food to the shady and snobby jellyfish. Which meant that she'd have to sell everything in her stock just to have enough food for a month, six weeks tops, before having to go out scavenging again.
Rei sighed. She'd heard that the folks at Grizzco Industries in the rapidly-blooming city of Splatsville paid their employees handsomely for risking life and limb to collect fertilized Power Eggs, also known as Golden Eggs, on their Salmon Runs as she heard they were called. Unfortunately, there were a number of problems with that idea. For starters, she'd need to actually get to Splatsville and find somewhere to live.
Another problem was that Grizzco Industries only allowed its Salmon Runners to use a set of randomly selected weapons, some of which were rumored to be illegally modified. True, Rei prided herself on being a crack shot with a Stringer, particularly her Tri-Stringer, and she wasn't too bad with a Splatana, but she wasn't exactly confident in her skill with other weaponry. Plus, she didn't like the idea of using potentially dangerous weapons.
Rei sighed again. She may not like it, but what else could she do? Her parents went missing years ago and she had no other relatives that she knew of, hence why she was a scavenger and junk dealer in the first place. It wasn't like her big break was just gonna fall out of the sky, right?
Rei froze as a familiar and mildly irritating sound started to draw closer, which happened to belong to Grizzco helicopters carrying Salmon Runners and their payload back to Splatsville. Unfortunately, due to the shoddy construction of her home/shop, the wind kicked up by the helicopters' rotors tended to make things a mess, which meant that she'd have to clean her stock… again.
Before Rei could do much of anything about the sand blowing all over the place, something smacked her on the head, knocking her out of her seat and onto the sandy ground.
"Ow…" said Rei said as she sat up rubbing her head before looking around for what had bonked her on the head… only for her jaw to drop in surprise.
There, sitting directly in front of her, was a fertilized Golden Egg, complete with what looked like a fish embryo wriggling around within it. Rei stared at the egg, as the embryo within it stared back at her, assuming it could even see her. If Rei were to sell this Golden Egg to Plutt, why, she'd be willing to bet it'd be worth at least sixty portions!
As she moved to grab the egg, a stray thought entered Rei's head. What if, instead of selling the egg, she hatched it and kept the Salmonid as a pet? She could certainly use the company. Plus, Salmonids were said to have an incredible sense of smell, able to track virtually anything, even if it didn't even have a scent, so maybe it could help her with scavenging.
But… aren't Salmonids supposed to be really dangerous? thought Rei before shaking her head. The only reason Salmonids were dangerous were because they were raised by other Salmonids. This Salmonid would be raised by her, an Inkling, so it would hopefully turn out to be completely friendly and harmless.
Her choice made, Rei grabbed the Golden Egg, intending to hatch it and keep it as a pet.
Present Day-Splatsville Station
Rei was pulled out of her memories by the sound of train brakes squealing as the train they belonged to came to a stop in front of her and Bud. Rei made a small noise, prompting Bud to jump up into her arms. Together, the odd duo boarded the train, and Rei lowered her hood and removed her shades and mask, revealing herself to have blue eyes.
Almost as soon as Rei had taken her seat, the train doors closed and the train started to move forward, towards Splatville.
"What is up, Splatsville! DJ JoK coming at ya with the latest hit from those agents of chaos, Deep Cut! Here we go! Anarchy Rainbow, baby!" said a male voice from the speakers as Bud jumped out of Rei's arms and into her lap, and Rei rubbed her finger underneath where the Smallfry's chin would be, causing the Salmonid to riggle in delight.
"You have no, you have no, you have no idea I love you… should I go? Should I go? Should I have to make a fool of myself?" sang a female voice from the train speakers, before what sounded like a male voice sang something that sounded like complete gibberish to Rei.
"You and I are the light! Don't tell me you are not coming back! Open wide, oh, goodbye ain't easy! You're the only one who's just for me," a different female voice sang as Rei started to sing along with the music.
"Hallelujah, a taste of heaven, so you're off on your own, na na! Hallelujah, a place so way up! You're all coming in time, na na! Hallelujah, la tres forever! So you go on your own, na na! Hallelujah, embrace forever! All around me right now, na na!"
Rei smiled as she looked out the window at the rapidly-approaching City of Chaos, where she would either make it big or crash and burn. And for the first time since she could remember, Rei was excited to see what the future held.
And that's a bingo! I know this chapter wasn't anything special, but hopefully next chapter will make up for it! In the meantime, be sure to fave, follow, review, and join us next time as Rei becomes the New Agent 3! See you then!