Your prompt:
*The squad right before Jonathan Ridgewell's wedding*
Kio Hargreaves: Well I have to go, I have a wedding to attend.
Dee Gould: Wait... Oh! I have a wedding to attend too!
William Larson: Oh, I have a wedding to attend as well
Pay(Patryk's Sibling): I THINK WE ALL HAVE WEDDINGS TO ATTEND
Evan Ter Voorde, panicked: I THINK I HAVE A WEDDING TO OFFICIATE
Your prompt:
'Can I copy the homework?'
Jonathan Ridgewell: I can help you with it!
Kio Hargreaves: Yeah, sure.
Dee Gould: Bold of you to assume I did the homework.
William Larson: lol nope.
Pay(Patryk's Sibling): Wait, we had homework?!
Evan Ter Voorde: *Read 5:55pm*
Your prompt:
Jonathan Ridgewell: Time for plan G.
Kio Hargreaves: Don't you mean plan B?
Jonathan Ridgewell: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.
Evan Ter Voorde: What about plan D?
Jonathan Ridgewell: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.
William Larson: What about plan E?
Jonathan Ridgewell: I'm hoping not to use it. Pay(Patryk's Sibling) dies in plan E.
Dee Gould: I like plan E.
Your prompt:
*The squad is over at Jonathan Ridgewell's house*
Kio Hargreaves: Ohhhh, we each get our own oven?
Jonathan Ridgewell: ... N-No...
Jonathan Ridgewell, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have?
Kio Hargreaves, motioning to their kitchen: Three, I thought!
Dee Gould: I see a-
Jonathan Ridgewell, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.
Kio Hargreaves: Oh, well I-
Jonathan Ridgewell: Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*
Jonathan Ridgewell, amazed: Its got a bake setting!
William Larson: Ohoho, you learn something new every day!
Pay(Patryk's Sibling): Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?
Jonathan Ridgewell: Now I've just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin!
Jonathan Ridgewell: I am someone who owns four ovens...
Jonathan Ridgewell, louder and way too happy: I am someone... who owns FOUR OVENS...
Jonathan Ridgewell: I didn't know I was so rich with ovens...
Evan Ter Voorde, pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven!
Jonathan Ridgewell:
Kio Hargreaves: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens!
Jonathan Ridgewell:
Jonathan Ridgewell, fucking ECSTATIC: I AM SOMEONE WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS
Your prompt:
Kio Hargreaves: If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous.
Dee Gould: What if it bites me and it dies!?
Jonathan Ridgewell: Then you're poisonous. Jesus Christ, Dee , learn to listen.
William Larson: What if it bites itself and I die?
Pay(Patryk's Sibling): That's voodoo.
Evan Ter Voorde: What if it bites me and someone else dies?
Dee Gould: That's correlation, not causation.
William Larson: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?
Pay(Patryk's Sibling): That's kinky.
Kio Hargreaves: Oh my God.
Your prompt:
Kio Hargreaves: Dee Gould... How do I begin to explain Dee Gould?
Jonathan Ridgewell: Dee Gould is flawless.
William Larson: I hear their hair's insured for $10,000.
Pay(Patryk's Sibling): I hear they do car commercials... in Japan.
Evan Ter Voorde: One time they punched me in the face... it was awesome.
Your prompt:
*Squad reactions to being told 'I love you'*
Evan Ter Voorde: Thanks fam!
Dee Gould: oh no
Jonathan Ridgewell: *cries* I love you too
William Larson: Sounds fake but okay
Pay(Patryk's Sibling): *A flustered mess*
Kio Hargreaves: can i get a refund
Your prompt:
Kio Hargreaves: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?
Dee Gould: Nope, absolutely not.
Jonathan Ridgewell: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through.
William Larson: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life.
Pay(Patryk's Sibling): I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you.
Evan Ter Voorde: I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.
Your prompt:
Kio Hargreaves: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*
Dee Gould: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I'd have 15 cents
Kio Hargreaves: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you Jonathan Ridgewell: Actually I did the math, Dee would have $225, not $0.15.
Dee Gould: Fam I'm right here...
William Larson: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)
Kio Hargreaves: while you're there could you buy me an apply juice please?
William Larson: Sorry I only have a dollar
Kio Hargreaves: :(
Jonathan Ridgewell: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Dee would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent
William Larson: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice
Jonathan Ridgewell: You can buy anything you want with $22,500
Pay(Patryk's Sibling): Yeah and they want soda and apply juice
Jonathan Ridgewell: Apply juice to what
Evan Ter Voorde: Directly to the forehead
Dee Gould: Great chat everyone
Your prompt:
Kio Hargreaves: We need to distract these guys
Dee Gould: Leave it to me
Dee Gould: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.
Jonathan Ridgewell, William Larson, and Pay(Patryk's Sibling): *Immediately begin arguing*
Evan Ter Voorde, watching in horror: Oh this. I don't like this. I don't like this at all.
Your prompt:
Kio Hargreaves: Dumbest scar stories, go!
Dee Gould: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.
Jonathan Ridgewell: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it.
William Larson: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.
Pay(Patryk's Sibling): I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn.
Evan Ter Voorde:
Evan Ter Voorde: I have emotional scars.
Your prompt:
Kio Hargreaves: Well, aren't you all a rag-tag group of adventurers with unclear goals and good hearts! Oh, let me guess: you're out to save the world!
Dee Gould: Well, actually, that sounds like a pretty fair assessment.
Jonathan Ridgewell: More or less, I guess...
William Larson: That sounds awesome! Let's do that!
Pay(Patryk's Sibling): I'm new here, but I am open to the concept.
Evan Ter Voorde: I thought that's what we were doing, guys, come on!
Your prompt:
Pay(Patryk's Sibling), walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here.
Dee Gould: Hey.
Jonathan Ridgewell: Hi.
William Larson: Hello.
Kio Hargreaves: Hey!
Pay(Patryk's Sibling): I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!
Evan Ter Voorde: We were out of Doritos.
Your prompt:
Kio Hargreaves: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?
Dee Gould: :O language
Jonathan Ridgewell: Yeah watch your fucking language
William Larson: OKAY WHO TAUGHT JONATHAN THE FUCK WORD?
Pay(Patryk's Sibling): 'The fuck word'.
Evan Ter Voorde: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time
Jonathan Ridgewell: Oh my god they censored it
Pay(Patryk's Sibling): Say fuck Evan.
Jonathan Ridgewell: Do it, Evan. Say fuck.
Your prompt:
*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*
Kio Hargreaves: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
Everyone:
Jonathan Ridgewell: ...I did. I broke it.
Kio Hargreaves: No. No you didn't. Dee?
Dee Gould: Don't look at me. Look at William.
William Larson: What?! I didn't break it.
Dee Gould: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
William Larson: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
Dee Gould: Suspicious.
William Larson: No, it's not!
Pay(Patryk's Sibling): If it matters, probably not, but Evan was the last one to use it.
Evan Ter Voorde: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
Pay(Patryk's Sibling): Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Evan Ter Voorde: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Pay!
Jonathan Ridgewell: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Kio.
Kio Hargreaves: No! Who broke it!?
Everyone:
Pay(Patryk's Sibling): Kio... Dee's been awfully quiet.
Dee Gould: rEALLY?! *Everyone starts arguing*
Kio Hargreaves, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.
Kio Hargreaves: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
Kio Hargreaves:
Kio Hargreaves: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
Your Prompt:
Kio Hargreaves: Everytime I hear someone talking about updog, I'm torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke.
Dee Gould: Okay, but what is updog?
Jonathan Ridgewell: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.
William Larson: Not, that's a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.
Pay(Patryk's Sibling): No, that's an update. You're thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.
Evan Ter Voorde: Surely, that's Uppsala, where's updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.
Kio Hargreaves: That's Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.
William Larson: You're thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.
Jonathan Ridgewell: No, that's an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway.
Dee Gould: What's a henway?
Kio Hargreaves: Oh, about five pounds.
Your Prompt:
Kio Hargreaves: Rules are made to be broken.
Dee Gould: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.
Jonathan Ridgewell: Uh, piñatas.
William Larson: Glow sticks.
Pay(Patryk's Sibling): Karate boards.
Evan Ter Voorde: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.
Kio Hargreaves: Rules.
Dee Gould:
Your Prompt:
Kio Hargreaves: I CAN'T DO IT!
Dee Gould, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER!
Kio Hargreaves: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE
Jonathan Ridgewell: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US.
Kio Hargreaves:
Kio Hargreaves: I appreciate it,
Kio Hargreaves: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH-
William Larson: Kio-
Kio Hargreaves: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!
Pay(Patryk's Sibling): Kio we gotta-
Kio Hargreaves: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.
Kio Hargreaves: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?'
Kio Hargreaves, motioning to Evan Ter Voorde: NOT FUCKING THIS
Your Prompt:
Kio Hargreaves: Croissants: dropped
Dee Gould: Road: works ahead
Jonathan Ridgewell: BBQ sauce: on my titties
William Larson: Shavacado: fre
Pay(Patryk's Sibling): Miss Keisha: fuckin dead
Evan Ter Voorde: Evan Ter Voorde, grumpy: I didn't understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.
Your Prompt:
Kio Hargreaves: Just be yourself.
Dee Gould: 'Be myself'? Kio, I have one day to win Jonathan over. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?
William Larson: Couple weeks.
Pay(Patryk's Sibling): Six months.
Evan Ter Voorde: Jury's still out.
Dee Gould: See, Kio?
Dee Gould: 'Be myself'. What kind of garbage advice is that?
Your Prompt:
Kio Hargreaves: Hewwo.
Dee Gould: Hihiiiiii!
Jonathan Ridgewell: Greetings, Humans.
Pay(Patryk's Sibling): Three kinds of people.
William Larson: I want pudding.
Kio Hargreaves: Four kinds of people.
Evan Ter Voorde: WHAT'S UP FUCKERS?
Pay(Patryk's Sibling): Five kinds of people.