Sharpay Evans' life was over and it had barely started, and now everyone knew.

Chad was at home when the news broke. The news he'd been dreading all weekend, ever since he'd dropped the numb, exhausted Ryan Evans back at his house and told him that he was only a text away.

Ryan had texted him once, to tell him that his parents had just found out and that everyone was crying. Chad had cried a lot too, but he couldn't imagine how hard this was for Ryan.

And now his own parents were knocking on his bedroom door, tears streaming down their faces, to tell Chad that one of his classmates had committed suicide.

Chad hugged them tightly and they wept together, and he mourned all the things he couldn't tell them.

Ryan wasn't crying anymore. He couldn't cry, he felt too drained. For an hour, he and his parents had clung to each other and sobbed. Then his mom had locked herself in her room and his dad had started making calls, and Ryan was the most alone he'd ever been.

That was when he'd texted Chad, and every few minutes he thought about texting Chad again because Chad was the only one who knew what he knew. But he just couldn't talk about it, couldn't think about it. He felt so completely disconnected from reality that he didn't even feel like he was there anymore.

And maybe he wasn't there. He'd always been one half. Part of a set. Now that Sharpay was dead he didn't feel whole anymore.

Sure, his sister had driven him crazy sometimes, but she'd also been his best friend. They'd had plans to go to college together and star in all the plays, to become worldwide sensations until everyone knew their names.

Well, everyone knew Sharpay's name now.

"I'm even more famous in death." That was the very worst part. Since leaving Chad's side that night he'd started hearing her voice, still taunting him, carving him out, and exposing him.

"I'm glad you said it was suicide, Ry. Otherwise, I'd just be another teen dead because of someone else's mistake. No one cares about that."

Ryan cared about that, considering it was his mistake.

"The suicide note was a bit much, but people bought it at least."

Ryan wanted to puke again, but he hadn't really eaten anything all weekend.

"Tell me how Troy Bolton reacts at school tomorrow."

"Enough," Ryan finally pleaded, and the imaginary Sharpay dematerialized, leaving him even lonelier.

He didn't really feel like going to school the next day. But he did anyway. Maybe so that the Sharpay that lived exclusively in his head now could enjoy her fifteen minutes of fame. Maybe because school was where his grieving parents weren't. Maybe because all he was able to do now was run on autopilot. Or, maybe, there was some tiny part of him that went because he desperately needed to see Chad again.

Chad didn't approach Ryan right away. He didn't at the assembly memorializing Sharpay that morning or while people crowded around him, giving him their condolences. He didn't approach Ryan until lunchtime when Troy and Gabriella also approached him.

"Hey, man… I'm so sorry about your sister. I can't help feeling this was kind of my fault," Troy said. Gabriella put a comforting hand on Troy's arm.

Ryan, who was sitting with Kelsi and desperately trying to pretend that today was a normal day, nearly choked.

"Trust me, Troy, it was no way in your fault. Sharpay was just pushed over the edge," Ryan said. It's what he had rehearsed because it was as close to the truth as he could get.

Chad snorted and then cleared his throat as a cover.

"Thank you for checking on me," Ryan added because Troy and Gabriella were standing there like they were waiting for participation trophies for acknowledging Ryan's grief.

"Of course, we're always here for you," Gabriella said. It was what a lot of people who had never been there for him before had said before walking away.

"Thanks."

Troy and Gabriella turned and walked away.

Chad sat down next to Ryan and Kelsi read the room and took her lunch to go. Ryan wasn't eating, still.

"Hey, how are you really?" Chad asked, putting his hand on Ryan's shoulder. Ryan's composure finally dropped and he let out a shuddering sob.

"I don't feel like myself anymore," Ryan said.

Chad nodded.

"You've been through so much, Ry. Nothing is normal anymore so it makes sense that you don't feel normal either."

"All the attention on me… It makes me want to hurl. I've never gotten stage fright before but now it feels like I have to perform constantly and I don't know if I can do it."

"I've got your back, though. And I mean it, I actually mean it. I will protect you from the attention and I will help you navigate what happened and, just… We're in this together."

Chad reached under the table and took Ryan's hand, squeezing it and then rubbing circles over his hand with his thumb.

In that moment, Ryan felt the most grounded he had for a long time.

"Thank you," he whispered, and this time he meant it.

"Have you eaten anything since Friday?" Chad asked, after noticing Ryan's uneaten lunch.

Ryan laughed bitterly.

"I haven't exactly been hungry, Chad."

Chad nodded, "But you need to eat, yeah? You gotta stay healthy. I'm not losing you."

"I can't do this," Ryan mumbled, "I shouldn't be here."

"Do you want to call someone to come get you? Everyone would understand if you went home."

Ryan nodded, taking his hand back and putting his head in his arms.

His phone was sitting on the table, Chad picked it up.

"Is there someone I can call for you?"

Ryan froze, thinking about it. He didn't feel like he could face either of his parents right now, and he didn't want to burden anyone else. So he just shook his head.

"Hooky it is, then. Get up, Ry, we're getting out of here."

Ryan had a thousand questions running through his head. Like, when had Chad started calling him Ry? And, how much of his new normal would he spend in Chad's car? He didn't ask either of these questions. He just silently followed Chad out of the cafeteria and then out of the school.

"Where are we going?" Ryan asked after a minute of driving.

"McDonald's. You like McDonald's?"

"I've never had McDonald's," Ryan admitted.

Chad gaped at him for a second before turning his attention back to the road.

"How could you have never gone to McDonald's?"

"My parents are very particular, sophisticated people and McDonald's didn't fit into their plan. But fuck it, I've never fit into their plan. I've never fit into their family."

"Hey, don't say that," Chad said quickly, still on course for the golden arches but wondering if he'd have to pull over for a pep talk instead.

"It's true! It's true in every conceivable way. I wasn't even supposed to be born, they wanted one baby, they got two." What Ryan didn't say was that, though his parents had the only child they'd initially wanted, they all knew he was the less desirable twin.

"So you're their miracle. A happy accident."

"There are no happy accidents," Ryan said, thinking of his sister, covered in blood.

"Your parents love you," Chad said, quickly changing the subject.

"Mom does. Or she did before Sharpay died. I don't know if she'll ever come out of her room…"

"Well, obviously they're grieving but they still love you."

Ryan took a shaky breath and admitted two things he'd never said out loud to anyone outside of his family before.

"My dad is a very particular man who needs to have control, needs things to go according to his plan. He hates whatever he can't control and he can't control me. He wants me to be his perfect, straight, macho son and I'm not."

The wheels were turning in Chad's head.

"You're gay?"

"Yeah." Ryan hung his head in shame because all his life he'd been told that's how he was supposed to feel about his sexuality.

"That's… Huh. Thanks for telling me, Ry."

Still Ry. And Chad was smiling at him, why was Chad smiling at him?

"After McDonald's, if you want, we can go back to my place. I understand if you don't want to be around your parents right now, especially if they don't accept you for who you are."

"You accept me?" Ryan asked, flabbergasted.

"Of course I do, man. We're still in this together, right?"

"Right," Ryan nodded, a little too eagerly. He still felt pretty awful, but there was a weight off his chest now that allowed him to at least eat a Big Mac and some fries.

Chad was relieved that Ryan was eating but he was incredibly worried about everything else. Ryan was his friend and, further than that, they were bound together as accomplices, keepers of a painful, awful secret. And now it seemed abundantly clear that Ryan had been hiding his pain for a lot longer than this weekend.

Chad felt the irresistible urge to make all of Ryan's problems go away. He thought about that urge, thought about how much it hurt to see Ryan upset, and struggled to understand that strong wave of emotion.

He glanced over at Ryan one more time and with a surge of certainty, he realized those emotions were love.