Right, okay, so where shall I begin this rather pathetic tale of mine? Hmmmm. Huh. Well, why not just start it all off with what's happening to me currently and then flashback to everything that's led me to this exact moment in time? Yes, I know, a flashback story is a pretty lame concept now, not to mention clichéd with how overdone it's been, but if I start the tale where I am now, my story will end before it's even truly begun! So, please endure the nonsense I am about to spew.

Let's see… Ah, here we are…

Unlike many people in the world, I've never thought too much about how I'd die someday. Sure, I've thought about death many times, like how it sucks that we'll stop existing someday, but how death would claim me, specifically? Nah, that never crossed my mind. I mean, with all the shit (yeah, I swear; fuck off) that's happened around me these past few months, you'd think I'd think about how exactly fate would kill me off but nope, never did. If I had, you know, thought about it, like any human being that's over fifty (which I'm not but that's beside the point), I figure I would've guessed something like this would happen.

Like I very briefly mentioned, these past few months have been fucking nuts, man. I'm honestly surprised I've lived this long, like for real.

I'm holding my breath; don't ask why I am but I am, okay? Maybe if I pass out, I can die painlessly, you know? Wishful thinking, of course, but a bitch can dream and hope. Right, anyway, so I'm staring across this room I'm in; it's pretty big, I guess, the room. My eyes are keeping constant contact with the eyes of a dumbass, who wants to kill me for a reason that doesn't even make fucking sense but okay, whatever, go off. Oh and he's staring back; I mean, obviously he is because I just said I was keeping eye contact with him but I'm mentioning it again because I can.

Where was I? Oh, right, I'm about to be brutally murdered.

Uh, anyway, so yeah. Today's probably a good day to die, I guess. The way I'm dying, though? So not cool. Like, I was tricked into coming here, okay? So, I'm dying for no good reason, other than the bullshit this dumbass was monologuing minutes ago; how no one managed to get here to save me yet is beyond me, cause the guy was going on, and on, and on. Like seriously, how have I not been rescued by now?

I thought I was coming here to die in someone else's place, because I was feeling pretty epic, you know, thinking all heroic about selflessly sacrificing myself but no, I'm not allowed to be a noble human being, for once. No, I've gotta die for being a bigger dumbass than this bastard smirking at me.

If I hadn't been such an idiot, thinking that going to Spoonz was a good idea, I'd have probably died already from how ridiculously clumsy I am. Like, seriously, how have I not busted my head wide open on something from all the times I've tripped over my own damned feet?

…I'm losing my train of thought.

Uh, I'm very terrified, without a doubt, and I absolutely regret just about everything I've done. Lots of stupid decisions, especially since moving, but damn, life has been so much more exciting.

The dumbass keeps smirking at me, menacingly; the bitch-ass motherfucker. Then, he lunges at me; no real surprise there, since he's been talking about revenge and murderizing me, but shit. Just…shit.