It had been a week since the death of the Queen and John Phoenix was exploring London. He was fascinated by curious sights like Big Ben, Tower Bridge and the Brits. But one particular group of Brits caught his attention.

"I'm so sad the Queen is dead mate," said one of the guys.

"God save the King," said another.

John Phoenix burst out laughing!

"Well God didn't save the Queen!" said John Phoenix and the Brits glared at him.

"We're in a state of mourning be respectful!" they shouted which was stupid because the Queen's death was a week ago, these British people are fragile and need to get on with their lives.

"OMFG THE KING'S COMING!" shouted someone down the street and he was right! The King IS coming! Everybody run!

And everybody did run, but not away, they ran towards him and wanted to shake his hand. And shake their hands the King did, but only the women because he is a sexual predator.

"I thought you killed him," said Uncle Phoenix.

"I did, but he seems to have simply attached his head back to his body," said John Phoenix.

John Phoenix was about to walk away, because he was tired of listening to the inane babble of the public saying stupid good things about the King, but then he heard a voice of wisdom in the crowd.

"The King is a childfucker!" shouted a guy.

And then the crowd started beating him up!

"Holy shit call the police," shouted Phoenix. But no one did, so he called them himself.

"Wot's going on here?" said Tobias Gregson.

"I insulted the King and they attacked me," said the guy whose name is Jack.

"Ah okay you're under arrest boy," said Gregson and he arrested Jack.

"Wait what," said Phoenix. John Phoenix slapped him for being irresponsible!

"The police are servants of the Queen I mean King! Of course they'd take his side!" said John Phoenix.

John Phoenix now had no choice but to defend Jack.

"Court's in session for Jack's trial," said the judge.

"I am ready Your Honor," said John Phoenix.

"Call me My Lord you little rascal," said My Lord and John Phoenix sternly warned him not to scold him again!

With that out of the way, Tobias Gregson was called to testify.

"Witnesses caught this young scamp callin' the King a pedophile," said Gregson. "Wot do you have to say for yerself, son?"

"Of course I called him a pedophile, that's what you call adults that fuck kids," said Jack.

"I rest my case Milord," said Gregson.

John Phoenix cursed under his breath. For once, things were not going his way. But then he got an idea.

John Phoenix reached into his bag of secret gadgets and pulled out a tiny speaker.

"Permission to cross-examine the defendant Judge," said John Phoenix. But he did not need to ask. He simply granted himself the permission.

John Phoenix stared into Jack's eyes.

"Jack, close your eyes, open your mouth and say "aaaaah,"" said John Phoenix.

"What are you a doctor?" said Jack.

"No. I am your lawyer. DO WHAT I SAY!"

"Okay okay," said Jack, and he did as he was told, which was to close his eyes, open his mouth wide and say "aaaaah."

And while he was doing that, John Phoenix stuck his hand into Jack's mouth.

"My word, what's this!" said John Phoenix and he pulled out the speaker! "It appears Jack had a little speaker planted in his mouth that made it sound like he was saying all these rubbish things about the King!"

"Dear Lord, what devious little monster would do such a thing?" said the judge. And John Phoenix traced the signal to the palace!

He kicked open the doors to the King's bedroom where the King was getting dressed.

"Look, Your Honor! There's the King, pretending to be my client!"

"What?" said the King because he was confused.

"King, you wanted to look like a poor victim of harassment while mourning your dead mother so you made it look like Jack was doing that! I have proof so give up!" said John Phoenix who was lying but the King deserved it.

"Ahahahaha!" laughed the King. "You will never dethrone me, not even with all the evidence in the world!"

John Phoenix looked out the window. Storm Sente was out there with a sniper rifle.

Storm Sente shot the King! All according to plan.

"Well done Storm! I mean, unknown, despicable hitman," said John Phoenix.

And so the King was dead (John Phoenix cremated him to make sure he wouldn't come back again) and the throne was passed on to his ten year old kid and it was business as usual for the monarchy once more.