Anger.
Hunger.
Bloodlust .
Those were the emotions swirling inside Jasper like a storm begging to unleash its fury upon the world.
The smell of Bella's sweet blood mixed with the suffocating wave of everyone else's bloodlust had slammed into him with the force of a tsunami and rattled his control like an earthquake.
He wanted her blood . Now.
Snarling and growling hadn't worked as Emmett dragged him out of the house but that didn't work at all because he was seeing red and his skin was burning and oh God he wanted to suck her blood until there was not a single drop left in her body .
But Emmett never let go.
And that did nothing but piss him off even more.
The Major clawing his way out.
~~~~~~~~~~
Alice had never cursed being unable to see visions related to Jasper with as much clarity as with everyone else like tonight.
The complete and absolute loss of control he had against Bella was the most heart stopping moment ever but she also knew that part of his reaction was due the bloodlust from the others. Absorbing it had made him react twice as aggressive as he would had on his own.
Now here she was with Emmett outside of the house as Jasper struggled against Emmett's hold. His agitation rather than fade seemed to be growing.
-Come on dude, it's okay now, it's okay.- Emmett tried to sooth. Even if he was the strongest vampire in the house holding Jasper had always proven to be quite the near impossible task.
But his words did nothing and neither were Alice's.
For the first time in decades Alice seemed as lost as Emmett felt.
-Jazz come on, you have to calm down.- Alice called begging for Jasper to calm down before things got out of hand.
But he wasn't reacting well to her and he was growing worse with each movement. His arms locked against his chest and his hair falling on his face as he kept growling. His pitch black eyes tainted in that eerie darkness from the void she had become so familiar with. Fangs glimmered beneath the moonlight and as black co-web spread across his cheek Alice knew there was no time.
-Emmett, let him go!- The urgency in Alice's voice made Emmett obey almost immediately as Jasper dropped to the ground panting and groaning as he gripped his chest. His breathing erratic and his skin burning.
-What-
-Don't touch him.- Alice cut off grabbing Emmett's elbow before this one could reach out to Jasper. Right now any external stimuli could prove fatal. If The Major managed to take control completely there would be no might in Heaven capable of saving Bella.
Jasper for his side was tethering over the edge of control and wanted nothing more but to let The Major tear out of him and slaughter everything and everyone in its wake if that meant the burning would stop. Venom coursing through his body like a river of incandescent fire. God it hurt .
He couldn't do this.
And thus he bolted off without looking back. His legs aiding him in his run through the forest as he ran faster than he had ever done. He needed to get away before The Major got out and ripped Bella apart. He needed to get away before he became more of a monster than he already was.
Because if he harmed Bella he wouldn't be able to live with himself.
Not knowing that he had killed his brother's mate.
Jasper didn't stop running until he was so far away he almost left the forest behind him. He dropped on his knees infront of a lake, panting and feeling as if he was burning from the inside out as venom threatened to set him ablaze right then right there. The Major threatening to tear out of his skin and hunt down the source of such glorious smell.
He was gasping now, taking on big gulps of air as he clutched his chest with one hand. Shoulders tense and fingers gripping the grass in hopes to find some calm but it wasn't working.
He was so pathetic.
His bones cracked as he shifted against his will. Wolf. Cat. Crow. Rat. Bat. Back to wolf. Fox. Moth. Owl. Back to fox. His fangs ached more than ever and he wanted to rip them out. He hadn't felt this destabilized since he was a newborn with an incandescent thirst that could have burnt the entire world down to ashes. Since the emotions around him had been threatening to rip his mind apart from the inside out.
And then Alice was there.
She didn't come close but her emotions were calm. Comforting. There was no anger. No blame. No disappointment. He fought and fought to get his control back. But he couldn't.
And then she was kneeling infront of him.
-Jazz, Jazz, you have to calm down, Edward is coming, if you don't calm down he will see you.
The Major pushed out at those words and was quick to revert back to their human form. Snatching the clothes and dressing back at vampire speed.
-Hey, hey, he's not looking for a fight.- Alice was quick to grab his arms and keep him from hunting Edward down, even though The Major had grown less... volatile and distrustful towards the Cullens he was still going for a fight whenever something bad happened.
-How can ya be so sure? His mate was almost killed, he would be a fool if he weren't lookin' for a fight.
-Nothing happened. Alright?
-But-
Alice covered his mouth and he glared at her.
Footsteps were heard and she removed her hand. Pulling him down to press a soft kiss against his cheek.
-Don't be impulsive. Remember what I said before?
-Listen first, kill later.- He grumbled.
-I didn't put it like that but yeah, that's basically it.
He scoffed at the same time the mind reader came into view. Their gazes met and he made sure to hold himself at his full height. He wasn't stupid, he knew perfectly well that every single one of these Cullens already knew about him. They were just too scared to acknowledge him, and while he would rather die than accept it part of him hurt at that fact.
He was invisible to them.
Esme was nice and while she didn't acknowledge him either she never looked at him like she looked at Jasper. She never tried to touch him and she held a particular tone that she used with him and only him, something about her compelled him to relax around her, the way she looked at him...
It was almost as if she knew things no one else did.
The angel squeezing his arm pulled him out of his thoughts and he looked down at her. She sent him love and a warning with her gaze. Reminding him of her words.
And then she was leaving him. He followed her with his gaze until she disappeared into the forest.
The mind reader came to a stop right infront of him and he held his gaze.
He was rather surprised by the next words, he never expected that any of them would ever have the guts to acknowledge him.
-I want to speak with Jasper.
~~~~~~~~~
Edward wasn't sure what did Carlisle expect him to do with his brother but he had complied, trusting that Bella would be safe with Carlisle.
He followed the trail of Jasper's scent and was quick to find him at a lake. Alice was with him but as their gazes met he realized that he may have to break the golden rule.
He would have to acknowledge him .
He had no name. Emmett had gone from calling him Dark Jasper to calling him DJ for short. Carlisle and Esme used that same nickname and for what Edward had seen from Alice and Rosalie's mind he may not even have a name at all.
Edward found the name quite stupid considering how dangerous he felt and looked to be referred as something as lame as "DJ".
So he called him for what he looked like.
The Void.
And when Alice left them alone and he approached the other he made sure to hold his gaze. Even now after decades of dealing with him Edward had to admit he was as intimidating as the first time he came out. He still instigated fear and the urge to look down with his sole presence.
Still .
This was important.
And so he broke Carlisle's golden rule.
Never acknowledge the alter.
He had to trust Rosalie's mind. She had acknowledged the alter over a few times and she had never gotten hurt. He had to hope he wouldn't get hurt either.
-I want to speak with Jasper.
Surprise flashed in The Void's gaze before he scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest.
-What for? So ya can blame 'im for somethin' he couldn't help? Ya were the ignorant fool who decided that bringin' a human into a house full of vampires was a smart idea.
-I know it wasn't his fault. Please let me speak with him.- Edward requested, he knew Jasper had better control than the one he had shown back there, Bella had just caught him off guard and that combined with his gift...
He stared Edward down with that same scrutinizing and near arrogant look he never failed to give him. Edward wasn't quite sure of the reason but something he realized a long time ago was that he didn't like him at all.
Not that he liked anyone in particular, he always looked angry, annoyed, wary or in pain, there was no in between, those were his only moods.
-Fine, I'll listen first, but bear somethin' in mind, Mind Reader, one wron' word an' ya will learn the hard way what it means ta be on my bad side.
It wasn't a threat.
It was a promise.
And with that he was gone. Black met gold and Jasper would have made a run for it had Edward not grabbed him.
The panic and the fear stabbed at his skin like needless of heat and venom.
-'M sorry. 'M so sorry. I never meant for this to happen, I-
-Hey, it's okay- Edward was quick to cut off.- There's nothing to be sorry for, you didn't hurt her, you managed to control yourself enough to get away.
Jasper stared at him for a moment before dropping his gaze.
-This was suppose to be a happy night.- Jasper muttered.- Alice and Esme worked so hard to make it perfect for Bella and I ruined it all.
-You didn't ruin anything, no one is mad at you nor blames you for anything. I knew it was risky to bring a human into a house full of vampires. If someone here is at fault that's me for not thinking things straight.
Yeah, Edward was pissed, but getting mad at Jasper wouldn't solve anything when his brother hadn't been at fault entirely, Edward should have been the smart one and realize how dangerous it would be for Bella to be surrounded by vampires.
He was the stupid one who put her in danger.
-That still doesn't make it right.- Jasper pressed, because what if because of him Bella decided to leave Edward? Yeah it would do her good to see the dark side of a vampire to understand that things were not all marvellous about them as she made them out to be, but if she left Edward that meant she would have to die.
And if Bella died Edward would be devastated.
All because Jasper couldn't control his goddamn bloodlust.
Was it even worth it to jeopardize the life of those around him? He hadn't had a drop of human blood for over a decade now and things were worse than ever. He felt weaker with each passing day, he couldn't fly anymore the same as he couldn't shapeshift nor even crawl up the walls, venom was starting to taste funny and sometimes waking up was too much of a hassle.
And the sun felt hotter than ever.
A rotten blood like him could never aim to be free from this thirst. No human was safe around him.
Not even his own brother's mate.
-Look, I'm sorry I put you in this position, alright? I knew you were struggling as it was, I shouldn't have-
-Stop apologizin'.- Jasper snapped freeing his arm with a yank.- You said so yourself, I'm strugglin', I always am, who cares if it was today or next week? It wouldn't have changed anythin', it doesn't matter what I do or how much I try it will never be enough.
Because he's a black blood.
-Because I'm the weak link, the one who can never aim to be 'round a bleedin' human even if it's jus' one little drop.
-Jasper-
-I don't need you to apologize. You're not to blame for my weakness and neither is Bella. She didn't deserve what happened back there, why are you even here? If you don't wanna fight me then go away, your mate certainly needs you more than anyone does right now.
-She's perfectly fine with Carlisle, right now who I'm worried about, is you.
-Why? You don't even like me up to this date, why the hell would you care?- Jasper wasn't stupid, he knew that even to this day, Edward didn't quite trust him, and he knew that part of it had to do with his inability to read his mind, the scars on Alice's skin that had been revealed through the years and the massive plot holes in his past.
-Because you are my brother you idiot, I don't like Rosalie either but that doesn't mean I won't worry about her if something is wrong.
Jasper didn't answer. All he did was turn around and plop down on the ground.
-Please, leave, I would like to be alone.
His request fell on deaf ears as Edward came to sit at his side.
-You do know we know , right?
Jasper felt panic flare in his chest at that.
-I don't know what you're talkin' about.
-We also know that half of your slips through the years were on him, not you.- Edward continued as if he hadn't heard him.- Carlisle thought that it would be safer to not acknowledge him so as to not make him feel antagonized.
-Why are you tellin' me this? He wasn't even the one who wanted to attack Bella, it was me.- Jasper ended up saying, deciding that there was no use on keeping up lying.
-I know. My point is; you have better control than you give yourself credit for and... Alice told me you reacted the way you did because of everyone else's bloodlust merging with your own, you weren't at fault for what happened. I'm sorry I put you in this position.
Jasper scoffed.
-You should be apologizin' to Bella not to me. She's the one who almost got killed.- Jasper told glaring at the lake.
-Jasper-
-I don't need anyone to keep up tellin' me that it's not my fault whenever I slip, I'm tired of that, it will never get easier. The sooner y'all accept it the sooner I can stop havin' to listen to the same bullshit.- Jasper snapped harshly before standing up once again. His throat was still burning too much.- Leave me alone.- He growled in warning when Edward made a motion to get up.
He wanted to be alone right now.
And Bella needed Edward to go back to her.