September 12, 2022
Scully took a deep breath and closed her eyes, the scent of the preschool classroom achingly familiar. Thoughts of classes, questions asked, books read and lessons learned filled her head and she smiled.
How do all schools smell the same? she wondered. It has to be a cleaning chemical or something. Like the new car smell, schools have something that's similar.
"Mommy," Faith said and Scully opened her eyes and looked down.
"Yes, love?"
"Can I play with the kitchen?" She pointed across the room and Scully nodded with a smile.
"Anything you want, honey. Go and play."
Faith grinned and hurried over to the kitchen area where two other children were already playing. Scully sighed happily as she watched her and then she heard a louder sigh beside her, one that was not so happy. She turned and looked at Mulder, his shoulders drooping as he watched Faith.
"Hey," she said softly and he looked at her with sad eyes. She exhaled a quiet laugh and reached for his hand. "It's just a few hours."
"Twice a week," he said, his voice low. She smiled and squeezed his fingers as he sighed again. "What am I supposed to do while she's here?"
"Mulder," she said, laughing slightly louder this time, and letting go of his hand to wrap her arm around his waist and give him a quick hug. "You're going to be just fine."
"Disagree," he mumbled as she stepped back, smiling at him before looking back at Faith.
A little boy was handing her a plate of wooden food and she laughed as she pretended to take a bite and then gave the plate back to him. He smiled at her and she picked up the empty coffee pot and poured it into a cup, taking a big pretend drink and then saying "ahhhh" as she set the cup down.
"This is good for her," Scully said quietly and he growled softly.
"I know it is. And I know she needs to go to school. But, I'll miss her so much."
"So will I," she said and she saw him shake his head out of the corner of her eye.
"It's not the same," he whispered and she stared at him, her eyes wide.
"How do you-"
"Hello, hello!" the principal called, clapping her hands to get everyone's attention and pausing their conversation. She was an older woman with caramel colored skin, silver gray hair in long braids wrapped up in an elaborate bun, a wide, happy smile, and kind brown eyes. "Welcome everyone to the first day of school! We're so happy to have you here."
The teachers clapped as they stood beside the principal and the parents clapped too, Mulder doing so with a heavy sigh.
"I'm Mrs. Cohver, and you've met the teachers: Mrs. Tanner, Miss Esma, Miss Cole, and Miss Rogers. They will all be sharing this room, the children at different quadrants with their assigned teacher. Today is an informal time to get to know the classroom as well as the teacher. Normally by now, we would have the children here on the rainbow circle rug for check-in and the welcome song, but today we're keeping it more lax."
Scully nodded and smiled at Faith's teacher, Miss Cole, who beamed back at her. They had met her last week when they came to show Faith around and view the classroom. She was incredibly kind and Faith had taken to her right away, asking lots of questions as she looked around and telling her about her dog and cat at home and Jacob and Liz Beth, her twins. Miss Cole had raised curious eyes to Scully and Mulder, who then explained about Skinner, Rachel, and the twins.
"Raycho had two babies," Faith had said, holding up two fingers. "I love them so much."
"I'm sure you do," Miss Cole had said. "Babies are wonderful, aren't they?"
"Yes. They are," Faith had said matter-of-factly as she picked up an old telephone and began to play with it.
It had been a good first meeting and Faith had talked of nothing but the classroom and the fun she'd had for the rest of the day.
"So," Mrs. Cohver continued. "For the first half hour, parents are welcome to stay and then after that, there is a luncheon set up near the multipurpose room. You are all encouraged to eat and stick around as the first day can be a little daunting to some, especially after their grown up leaves."
"God," Mulder breathed and Scully took his hand in hers, giving it a gentle squeeze.
"We will be beginning our day now, if you wish to stay, please be mostly silent observers, unless your child is in dire need of assistance. Thank you and welcome to the first day of preschool."
Everyone clapped again, Scully letting go of Mulder's hand to do so. The teachers began to round up the children and then they all sat on the large rug according to class. Faith glanced around and smiled at Mulder and Scully, giving them a wave before turning back to Mrs. Cohver, who was welcoming them to school.
"Oh," Scully said softly, a catch in her chest causing her to turn around and take a second to stop the tears suddenly stinging her eyes.
The kids echoed back what Mrs. Cohver had said, as Scully distracted herself by looking at the laminated pictures of the alphabet on the wall.
A is for anteater
B is for baby
C is for color
D is for dream
"You okay?" Mulder whispered, his hand on her back. She nodded, not able to speak at the moment. "No, you're not. This sucks."
At that, she laughed quietly and nodded, wiping at her eyes.
"It's necessary."
"Doesn't make it hurt less."
"Mulder…" she said, looking at him and then back at Faith who sat in rapt attention as a story was being read. "Look at her."
He looked back too as she smiled broadly and nodded her head, pointing her finger at the book.
"We did that," Scully whispered. "Made her the person she is by loving her and taking care of her. She's-"
"Stop," he whispered back, shaking his head. "I'm barely holding it together as it is and that's not helping."
"Oh, honey." She clasped his hand and they both sighed as they watched Faith laughing and looking at the other children around her.
She took a second look when she seemed to realize they were still there and waved to them again.
"It's a story about a butterfly and a spider," she called to them. "I like it."
"Good," Mulder called back as the adults in the room chuckled softly and he squeezed Scully's hand. Faith smiled and looked back at the book.
A few minutes more, and they said goodbye as Mrs. Cohver told the children their parents would be outside for a little while. Faith hugged them both and then ran back to the activity table already laid with paper and paint that would be used. She sat down and reached for a paintbrush, dipping it into the light blue paint and placing it on the paper.
"Come on," Scully said, pulling gently at Mulder's hand. He sighed with a nod and they walked out of the classroom and into the warm early afternoon sunshine.
The door closed behind the group of parents and they all looked at one another, one of the mothers pointing to the luncheon that had been set up under canopies near the multipurpose room. Everyone started walking toward it, talking to each other, but Mulder lingered at the door.
"Mulder?" Scully asked with a soft smile.
"Just a couple of minutes," he said, his eyes on the ground and hands in his jeans pockets. "Just in case."
"Okay, hon," she said, nodding in understanding.
"What if…" He sighed and looked at the door before looking at Scully. "I just want to stay close for a few minutes. I don't want her to wait if she needs us."
"Mulder," Scully said, stepping closer to him, and wrapping her arms around his waist. She exhaled and then inhaled, closing her eyes as he put his arms around her.
"It's such a big change," he whispered and she nodded against his chest. "I know it's been coming, but now that it's here, I don't want it to be."
"I know," she whispered back and he sighed heavily.
"She's just a baby."
"She's almost four," she reminded him and he grunted.
"I know, but she's also a baby. My baby. God, I hate this," he said and she smiled, holding him tighter.
The door opened and laughter and excited voices could be heard. Scully pulled back and looked at Mrs. Cohver as she walked out and shut the door behind her.
"Hello! Everything okay?" she asked, tilting her head and smiling kindly at them.
"Yes. We're good," Scully said with a smile.
"First day jitters? All the parents get them," she said with a wink. "You're… Faith's parents, right?"
"Yeah. Is she okay?" Mulder asked, concern in his voice, and Mrs. Cohver laughed softly.
"She's absolutely wonderful. She actually just had the teachers and students asking lots of questions as she told them about the fairies around her house. She said you have one named Sparkly Blue Iris, with blue wings and long golden brown hair? Who comes to visit and leaves her little gifts, like an acorn and a rock she now has in her bedroom?"
"Oh… yeah," Mulder said, glancing at Scully who smiled with a nod. "We saw some fireflies out in the yard a few weeks ago and I told her they were fairies flitting around and preparing the world for the next day. It became a discussion about where they live, what they do, and the different types of fairies. We built a couple of small houses to give them a chance to rest after they've worked so hard and decorated them to look inviting to a fairy. We left some treats for them: a shiny button, a piece of pink ribbon she really likes, and a very tiny picture of Faith so they know who she is and that she's a kind person. The fairies then reciprocated, leaving gifts for her, like the ones you've mentioned."
Mrs. Cohver grinned and nodded, clasping her hands together.
"I can't tell you how happy that makes me," she said, with a sigh. "Children need that sense of wonder, even if later they may be disappointed that it's not true. Building the imagination is detrimental to helping them grow into adulthood. It lets them believe anything is possible and that anything can be accomplished."
"I couldn't agree with you more," Mulder said and Scully saw how her words seemed to calm his worries. She smiled and grasped his fingers loosely.
"My husband has a very active imagination and love of the fantastic there is in the world."
"Then I'd say Faith is in great hands," Mrs. Cohver said, smiling at them and touching Mulder's upper arm. "Will you be joining us for the luncheon?"
"Yes. We were taking a moment, just in case," Scully said, glancing at the door.
"I completely understand. The first few days are always toughest, but it gets easier, I promise. She's in for a fun and exciting year with the teachers and the students."
"We know," Scully said, smiling at Mulder as he nodded in agreement, sighing softly.
"Good. I need to stop in the office and then I'll be over to join everyone, to answer any questions or assuage any concerns." She smiled and her eyes crinkled at the corners.
"Thank you," Mulder said and Scully squeezed his fingers.
"See you soon," Mrs. Cohver said with a nod and walked toward the office.
"You good now?" Scully asked Mulder and he nodded with a last glance at the door.
"She's talking about the fairies," he said, interlocking their fingers. "She's okay."
"She is indeed," Scully said, smiling at him.
"Let's go get something to eat, or at least some coffee."
"Hmm, a good idea," she agreed, squeezing his hand and starting toward the other parents.
She smiled as she thought of how excited Faith had been since last week, counting down the days until she got to come back to school. She had picked out a new backpack that came with a matching lunch bag. It was sky blue with purple straps and had a happy faced rainbow with white clouds at the bottom of it. A purple water bottle with smaller rainbows and clouds had come with it and she absolutely loved it.
She had picked out a special outfit: laying it out on her bedroom floor and telling them every night why she wanted to wear it and how she wanted her hair brushed.
They had all gone to the library and checked out a few books on the first day of school. Faith had asked to hear them every night, telling them how her school had toys like the ones in the book, and a place for her backpack to hang up.
Mulder had told her how much fun it would be, about the friends she would make, and things she would do. She had been beyond excited, smiling and asking to hear it all again, and he had obliged her.
"I know I've been talking up the whole experience for her," he said, as if reading her thoughts and she smiled. "I want her to enjoy being here, but I also don't want her to be here at all. Not yet."
"I know you don't."
"There's a big but waiting to be said, I can sense it," he said, squeezing her hand and she laughed.
"You already know what I'm going to say," she told him. "We've gone over it a few times."
"Yeah," he said with a sigh. "I'll get used to it. I just need a little time."
"Unlike me," she said, looking at him out of the corner of her eye.
"What do you mean?" he asked, turning his head and frowning at her.
"Inside you said that me missing her was not the same as you missing her," she said.
"I did?"
"You very much did," she said, trying not to smile as his frown deepened.
"I don't… don't remember saying that."
"Not out loud, anyway," she mumbled and he stopped her, turning to stare at her fully.
"I don't remember saying that, or implying that you wouldn't miss her in the same way I would. I'm sorry, Scully."
"Oh, Mulder," she said, cupping his cheek and smiling. "I know it's going to be hard, a lot is changing. She'll be in school and I'm going to be back at the hospital part time in November. Things are going to be different and I know it will take some adjustment."
"Hmm," he hummed, closing his eyes briefly and leaning into her hand.
"Change is good when done for the right reasons."
"Yeah. I'll need to find something to fill my empty hours."
"Oh! Well, if you're looking for ideas, I've got a document on my computer with at least fifteen things that need attention. The shed could be cleaned out and reorganized, the basement too. The porch needs-"
"Okay okay," he said with a laugh, pulling back from her hand and shaking his head. "I'm not sure I'm that desperate yet." She smiled and he bent to kiss her softly.
"A couple of weeks and it will start to feel normal," she whispered and he nodded, kissing her once more.
"Okay. Enough of my moping," he said, giving his body a shake as though to reset it. "I don't want her feeling anything but happy and excited. Let's go mingle, you know how I love doing that."
She laughed as his hand found its spot on the small of her back and they joined the other parents.
Over coffee and food, they got to know the parents of the children in Faith's class. Some of them were older, with other children at school, and some were younger, experiencing it all for the first time. They were all excited for their children to be moving onto a new chapter in their lives, but emotional at the same time.
Mrs. Cohver joined them, as promised, and answered questions and concerns, reassuring them all once again. Scully watched her and felt greater respect for her at the patience and attention she gave to each parent. No matter the question, she was kind and informative, and Scully knew they had made the right decision with the preschool.
They heard the children as they came onto the playground near where they were gathered. Scully caught sight of Faith who paid them absolutely no attention as she climbed onto the play structure and went down the slide before running away and laughing. Scully felt a bittersweet heaviness in her chest and she exhaled, hoping to let it go.
"In fifteen minutes, when recess has ended, the children will go back into the classroom. They will clean up any mess that has been made and then they will gather on the rainbow rug," Mrs. Cohver said. "At that time, we will open the door and you're welcome to come back in and join us as we say goodbye. Thank you all for being here and sharing your children with us. I know they will have a wonderful year learning and exploring the world around them."
Choruses of thanks went up as Mrs. Cohver said goodbye and left the group. Mulder raised his eyebrows at Scully and she smiled.
"Did you see her?" he asked and she nodded. "She looked like she was acclimating well."
"She did."
"Good," he breathed and she nodded again. "I'm gonna grab a couple of those cookies for her. Watch my six."
He turned around quickly and she laughed as she watched him stealthily grab two chocolate chip cookies, quickly wrap them in a napkin, and walk back to her with a wink.
"I don't think you need to be so sneaky, I think half the parents did the same thing."
"Shh," he warned and put them into the bag she carried.
"Oh, so now I'm an accomplice?" she asked with a chuckle.
"For better or worse, honey," he said, winking again.
"Thievery definitely being the worse of it," she stated and he put his finger to his lips as he smiled.
When the children had gone inside, the parents walked back to the classroom and waited at the door. Scully took Mulder's hand again, the connection feeling lighter this time knowing Faith had undoubtedly had a good day. He squeezed her hand and nodded, silently telling her everything was okay.
The door opened a few minutes later and Mrs. Cohver smiled as she welcomed them inside.
All of the children were on the rug, their teachers sitting with them as they chattered excitedly. Faith spotted them and waved, grinning from ear to ear as she bounced on her knees.
"Daddy! Mommy! I had so much fun!" she said to them as other children greeted their parents.
"Wonderful, love," Scully said, smiling back at Faith.
"Welcome back, parents," Mrs. Cohver said. "At this time next meeting, the children will have already done this, but we wanted to include you in it today. It's the goodbye song we sing at the end of each day, a signal that the time we shared together has come to an end. It has been a pleasure meeting all of you today. Please remember to get your child's items from their cubbies and we will see you on the next day of school." She clapped and everyone joined in, the kids cheering and laughing.
The goodbye song was sung, the teachers having special hand motions which the children attempted to mimic and would have learned soon. When the day was announced over, parents walked forward to collect their children and Faith ran to Mulder, hugging his legs and smiling up at him.
"Daddy! I went on the slide. It was like this." She let go of him and stepped back, making a whooshing noise and moving her hand down and around her as she spun in a circle. "It was fun."
"That fast, huh? It sounds like it was fun," he agreed, grinning as he watched her.
"Yup!" She nodded, smiling happily, and Mulder picked her up to give her a squeeze.
"I'm happy you had a good time, honey. Let's get your stuff and we'll head home, okay?"
"Okay!"
He set her down and she ran to her cubby to get her things plus some assorted papers that had been placed inside of it. Arms full, she came back to them, Scully helping her to sort it all and put it into its proper place.
"Wait, that's for Daddy," Faith said, taking one of the papers from Scully. "Here, Daddy. I made this for you." She handed it to him and he smiled as he took it.
"Oh wow, this is beautiful. Wait… hang on. Is this Iris?"
"Yes!" Faith said, clapping her hands and smiling. "See her blue sparkly wings, Daddy?"
"I do indeed, my love. She's perfect. You did a great job painting her."
"Could I see?" Scully asked and Mulder handed her the painting.
It was a nearly perfect triangle shape painted dark blue with lighter blue triangles coming from her sides, large black round head with two black dots and a big smile that filled up most of the space, stick arms with three fingers each, and brown hair coming from the head and down to the bottom of the dress.
"Wow," Scully said, nodding her head. "This is a beautiful painting."
"Thank you, Mommy," Faith said, beaming as she looked up at Scully.
They said goodbye to Miss Cole and Mrs. Cohver, thanking them for a wonderful first day.
Holding hands with both of them, Faith told them about her day and how much fun she had. Scully smiled and watched Mulder nodding, his shoulders relaxing with each positive word Faith had to say. He caught her eye and gave her a wink.
Buckled in her car seat and ready to leave, Mulder asked for the surprise Scully had in her bag. She smiled as she took out the napkin wrapped cookies and watched Faith's eyes light up when Mulder handed one to her.
She was nearly asleep when they pulled up the house, her head falling forward many times before she leaned it against the side of her car seat.
She said a sleepy hello to Bella as Mulder carried her inside and up to her room. Scully brought in the bags and school papers, Bella whining softly at the bottom of the stairs, but not venturing further.
"I know, Bells," Scully said, walking over to pet her after she set the items onto the table. "She's a little tired today, it's been an exciting one for her and she needs a little nap. She'll be down soon and will tell you all about it." Bella's tail thumped gently against the wall as she licked and nudged at Scully's hand. "You're a good girl, Bella."
She rubbed her ears and patted her head, speaking quietly, before stepping back when she heard Mulder closing Faith's bedroom door and starting down the stairs.
He bent and rubbed Bella's ears when he reached the bottom, saying hello to her as her tail continued to wag. He smiled and stood up straight as he glanced at Scully and then beyond her to the stuff on the table.
Giving her arm a light squeeze, she watched him walk over and pick up Faith's painting of Iris. Smiling at it, he turned back to her and she smiled back.
"I'm going to add her name and date on the back and then I want to run something past you."
"Okay…" she said, her curiosity piqued.
"Be right back," he said, walking into his office.
Her mind was racing as she wondered what he could possibly want to discuss when he came back out and stood beside her.
"This is the first," he said, indicating the painting. "The first of years of crafts and art that she'll be bringing home from school or wherever she is when creativity strikes."
"Okay…"
"So I was thinking, we should have a dedicated space for said art. A mini gallery, so to speak."
"Where exactly did you have in mind?" she asked with a smile.
"Here," he said, pointing to the wall space against the stairs with the short table in front of it and the adjacent corner, which still housed stacked trunks and a bookcase.
"Oh…"
"I know the things hanging on the bulletin boards were more of a hindrance than anything else, but this will be different. A happy collection, rather than one of conspiracy theories and unanswered questions."
"I love that idea," she whispered.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Great," he said with a smile. "So, you up for doing some redecorating while she sleeps?"
She looked around at what they would need to do in order to accomplish the task before Faith woke up and she nodded with a smile.
"Great," he said again, putting the painting on the dining room table. "I'll go get some of the boxes from the garage that we seem to have been collecting recently. We can sort through what we want to keep and what can be placed somewhere else in the house."
"Okay," she said, already imagining how it would look with Faith's creations filling the space. Maybe it could do with a new rug too. And a bean bag chair or something similar where she could sit and look at what she made.
"Get ready to roll up your sleeves, woman," he said, taking her hand and spinning her quickly before pulling her close as she laughed in surprise. "Because we've got some work to do."
"Get the boxes. I'm ready."
He kissed her, called to Bella to come with him, and whistled as he walked out the back door heading to the garage.
Yes, she thought, looking back at the jumbled and relatively unused corner. She pictured Faith's excitement when she saw it had been a space created especially for her, and she smiled. It's a perfect idea.