Author Notes: Here's another X-Mas story from yours truly, this one will be a bit different from all my other Jori holiday fics I have written so far, why? Oh you're all about to see.

Enjoy the silliness of the West family on Christmas morning, it took me several re-writes to come up with this plot but I think it came out rather nicely.

But ultimately you'll be the judge.

It was six in the morning in the West household.

Jade and Tori were sleeping peacefully and warmly under their covers. The former Goth, had a loose arm hung over her wife's waist and in turn, Tori's face was buried in Jade's boobs.

Both women were in such a deep slumber that it seemed impossible to think that anything could wake them up and if they had their way they wouldn't leave their bed.

That is of course if they didn't have their family for the holidays.

"It's Christmas!" came a sudden loud yell as their bedroom door burst open and their five year old grandson, Matt jumped up onto their bed with the force of a restless bull. "Wake up grandma! Wake up abuelita!"

"Matt." Tori moaned, sitting up as the young boy hopped onto Jade's lap, emitting a groan from his other grandmother which almost sounded like "son of a pop star!"

After all, the last thing they wanted was for their grandchild to learn some "sailor language" at a very early age, Tori still hasn't forgiven Jade for having a loose tongue and letting Anthony's first word being "vagina."

"It's way too early for Christmas..." Tori pointed out gently "It's six A.M!"

"It's never too early for Christmas, abuelita!" He said happily "It's the most wonderful time of the year!"

Jade glared at her wife "You see what your little holiday cheer has done to him?"

"Did Santa come? Did I get lots of presents?" Matt asked anxiously. "Do you think Santa brought me a puppy like I wanted?"

"I dunno sweetie." Tori yawns. "But let's wait until your Parents, aunts and uncle wake up before you decide to go look down the Christmas tree."

"But that might take hours!" Matt pouted "Couldn't I open one present?"

Jade held her grandson in her arms "Nope, sorry Matty" She said "As much as I would love to see what under the tree, we gotta wait until everyone else is awake... So its back to bed for you and us."

But before Jade and Tori could get some more shut eye, another visitor entered their room.

"It's Christmas!" Sixteen year old Anthony exclaimed, running into his parents bedroom with Foxy at his heels. "Come on, it's time to open presents!"

The silver fox barked in enthusiasm, clearly just following his owner's mood.

"You remember the last Christmas we got to sleep in?" Tori asked her wife.

"I think it was before we had children and grandchildren," Jade replied with a tired smirk.

Then Tawny and her husband Lukas were the next ones to join them.

"Mommy! Daddy! You're awake! Yay!" Matt cheered "Now we can see what Santa brought me!"

Tawny and Lukas looked at each other, chuckling at their son's enthusiasm for the holidays.

"Sure thing little man." Lukas said as he rubbed his son's hair affectionately.

"You been a good boy this year sweetie." Tawny grinned "So Santa didn't forget to bring you presents."

"I want to see! I want to see!"

"Alright, you win Matt." Tori said, getting out of bed.

"YAY!" The little boy clapped excitedly "Thank you abuelita Tori!"

The Half-Latina smiled at her grandson "But someone's going to have to go wake up Danielle and Rachel. I don't want to start without them, otherwise it wouldn't be..."

"People! Why are we still upstairs?" Danielle demanded, coming out of her old bedroom, her wife Rachel not too far behind. "I'm not about to miss my nephew opening up his presents and more importantly ours, so let's move it! Christmas isn't going to celebrate itself!"

She soon left the room, Rachel rolls her eyes at her wife's antics "And that, ladies and gentlemen is the woman I felled in love with."

"Come on grandma!" Matt grabbed Jade by her arm enthusiastically "We don't want to miss Christmas!"

"Alright, alright," She relented, getting up from her bed. "I swear every year you all wake me up early for this."

"It's the magic of Christmas baby." Tori teased.

Jade simply gave her a scary glare "Ok, just for that you don't get a visit from the twins tonight."

"Aww."

"Eww! Mom!"

"What twins?" Matt asked innocently.

"Erm, that's a story for another year kid." Jade said gently "Ok, people first things first, I do not want a repeat of last year where everyone turned the living room into a war zone by opening up your presents like wild animals! So this year we're going to calmly go downstairs, Anthony will make breakfast since he's the only one in this family who can even cook and after that then we'll take our time opening the presents and-"

"Charge!" Tori yelled at the top of her lungs, shoving past Jade as The remaining people in the bedroom stampede out.

"Ow! Vega! What the hell?!"

"Well you can't make Christmas sound boring baby, it's like a rule." Tori said, "Now come on! Let's get down there so we can see them open their presents!"

"Ugh Tori... Every damn year you turn into a little girl on Christmas morning."

Jade got up from her spot, rubbing her forearm as she walk down the stairs, a small smile slowly forming.

"But if it makes my wife happy, who am I to complain?"

As everyone had breakfast, Jade couldn't get enough of her son's latest creation, which resembled a mix between a brownie, an caramel apple and ice cream.

"Yum... Tony this is delicious." She said between bites.

"Thanks mom."

"What do you call this thing bro?" Danielle asked curiously.

"I haven't come up with a name yet, actually." He admitted "I mean I just invented this dish a week ago."

"Well it's tasty uncle Tony." Matt said happily eating his breakfast "Why don't you call it Tasty-cles."

"Ew!"

"Oh God no!"

"He can't call them that sweetie." Tawny told her son gently.

"Why not mommy?"

"Erm... Because it's a name that doesn't sound appealing."

"But grandma keeps saying the word chesticles all the time." Matt pointed out obliviously "And abuelita likes it... I just thought you would like that too."

Jade and Tori were uncomfortable being on the wrong end of the evil eyes.

"Mom? Mama?... Anything to say about that?"

"Erm... Let's open some present!" Jade said loudly.

"Yeah! Great idea baby!" Tori followed suit.

"Oh we are not done with this conversation!" Tawny promised her parents.

"It's so nice that we're all here." Tori comments with a smile.

"Well... Almost." Anthony pointed out "Aunt Trina isn't here."

"That's true," Danielle said "It's too bad she had to go to Seattle to spend Christmas with uncle Gibby's family."

"Yeah, tragic." Jade muttered.

"Hey! This has my name on it!" Matt yelled out "Right, mom?"

"Yeah sweetheart." Tawny nodded "My, you're learning to read your name, I'm impressed."

"Can I open it now?"

"Knock yourself out baby."

Both parents stared contently as Matt tore away at his present.

"Santa brought me a leash!" Matt said. "But no puppy? Aww phooey."

"Are you sure about that?" Tori asked mischievously.

"I don't see anything else with my name on it Abuelita."

But what the kid didn't notice was that Jade had a moving box resting on her lap "See Matt, I had a talk with Santa."

"You know Santa, grandma?!" He asked in amazement.

"Yes, we're uh.. Old friends." Jade lied smoothly, subtly giving her daughter and son in law a wink "And they... Erm... He agreed to bring you a puppy."

"He did?!"

"Oh yeah." She said, lowering the wrapped box to her grandson's level "And he let me hold onto your present so that I could see your face when you opened it up, Merry Christmas squirt."

Matt quickly started ripping the wrapping paper and to his immense glee, he saw what he has been begging his parents for months on end.

A tiny Labrador looked up at him, giving Matt a quick lick on his nose.

"He's so tiny!" He said "And he's really mine?"

"That he is." Tawny smirked, tears running down her cheeks. "I wish I didn't forget my damn phone."

Matt got his new pet out of the box and hugged him, he then looked at Jade gratefully "Thank you grandma for convincing Santa to sent me the puppy! I'm gonna play with him every day!"

"Aww!" Tori gushed "What are you going to name him?"

"Spooky!"

"Why you decided to call him that, son?" Lukas asked.

"I'm going to train him to be a creature of the night like grandma is!"

Everyone in the room gave Jade a pointed look, the former Goth had the decency, to give a nervous smile "What can I say? I can't help it if my grandson looks up to me."

"Mom, just promise us you won't try to corrupt our child when she's born." Danielle requested, holding her pregnant wife protectively "I don't think the world can handle another Jade West."

"I can't wait to meet our newest granddaughter." Tori said "How's the pregnancy coming along?"

"It's fine Ma." Rachel replied "Although the green doctor you sent us to? He's a total loud freak!"

"Well it's because of that doctor that Danielle and Tawny were born in the first place." Jade pointed out "His method made it easier for lesbians everywhere to get their own kids after all."

"That's true." Danielle agreed "But he doesn't have to be an ass about it."

"What's an ass?" Matt asked innocently.

Tawny glared at her sister "What did I tell you about watching what you say in front of my son?!"

"Erm... Whoops? Sorry?"

Luckily Matt had a short attention span and instead of waiting for an answer he bellowed "I want to go next!"

He jumping up but not before putting down Spooky safely on the floor "I want to give grandma and abuelita their present from me!"

"You got us a present, honey?" Tori asked, surprised.

"You didn't have to do that," Jade said at the same time.

"Yes I did, everyone gets presents on Christmas, even if they're old and not a kid anymore," Matt said, handing his grandparents a flat box.

"Did he just call us old?" Jade asked unamused, later on she was going to have a talk with him that pointing out a woman's age was a no go.

"Let's not kill the moment," Tori whispers "He doesn't know any better after all."

Both women began to tare off the wrapping paper.

"Aw!" The Half-Latina gushed, holding up the present for everyone to see. It was a frame that Matt had painted on his own with a photo of the whole family inside. "Oh sweetheart! This is the sweetest present ever!"

"Yeah, you made it yourself?" The former Goth asked.

"Uh-huh!" he nodded proudly.

"You got some talent squirt."

Tawny rested her head on her husband's shoulder "Remember the mess he made while trying to do the frame?"

"I remember we had to re-paint the kitchen afterwards."

"Alright, I'm next," Jade said, picking up a small box from under the tree. "This one is for my sexy. beautiful wife."

"Hmmm, little box? I wonder what this could be?" Tori said jokingly as she began to unwrap it. "If it's yet another necklace then our marriage has turned very predictable Jade... I mean there are other things you could give me... You... Know."

Jade smirks victoriously "How is that for different?"

Tori pulled out two slips of paper from the small box. "These are ticket for Italy!"

"That's right," Jade chuckled. "Next month you and I are taking a vacation to the most romantic city on the planet, just you... Me... Paradise and a lot of alone time where we can do a lot of playing."

"Why do you need to go far away to play Grandma?" Matt asked innocently. "Why can't you play right here?"

"Because I don't want to puke," Anthony said, clutching his stomach dramatically "Best they do their playing far away."

Tori rolled her eyes playfully at her son's comment before giving Jade a quick peck on the lips "You're the best baby."

"That I am!"

"And here I thought I had you beat with presents this year. Well, hopefully you still like what I got for you. Here."

She handed her present to Jade and tossed it onto his lap, of course Jade took no time in destroying the wrapping paper and once she was done, he jaw dropped.

"Vega... This looks like the exact same scissors from the Scissoring!"

"Well duh, because it is," Tori grinned "I went to an auction of old movies about two weeks ago and I bought them on the spot, I know you have a replica Cat gave you years ago but I think the real deal would make you a lot giddier, am I right?"

Jade's answer soon came in the form of a very passionate kiss that turned into a make out session, much to the uncomfortable feeling of the rest of their family.

"Forget what I told you earlier." Jade said breathlessly "Tonight you definitely get an appearance from my twins."

"Oh I can't wait."

"Not to mention a visit from a very sexy red Santa maid."

"Ohh, even better!" Tori whispered huskily. "Tonight your Snow White butt is mine."

Jade smirked "Santa, eat your heart out, I was naughty all year round and it was more than worth it you fat judgemental bastard!"

"Moving on!" Tony bellowed quickly, his face turning a little green, as were his sisters, they never wanted to hear what their parents did on their alone time after all.

Danielle and Rachel then swap presents as did Tawny and Lukas, the only one left to receive anything was Anthony.

And speaking of him, Tori glanced over at her son, who was sitting quietly stroking foxy's fur, an action the fox appreciated since he kept purring.

"Hey, Tony?" The Half-Latina said. "You've been pretty quiet this morning. What did you get in your stocking?"

The teenager looked up, surprised "I have a stocking?"

"Yeah, your stocking's right there," Tori said, pointing at the chimney which housed a seemingly empty red stocking.

Jade frowned suspiciously "What are you planning Vega?"

Tony got up from his seat and looked down on the aforementioned stocking, he then frowned. "It's empty."

"Does that mean uncle Tony was bad this year?" Matt asked.

"No he wasn't." Tori said firmly. "Maybe you should, you know, reach down in there and check that there is something inside?"

"But it's pretty clear nothing's in here," Her son replied, though he stuck his hand down into the stocking anyway. "The stocking's totally flat and..."

He suddenly stopped talking as he slowly pulled out a single key from the bottom of the stocking.

"What the...?" Jade thought, recognising the key "Oh Vega... You didn't!"

"No way…" Anthony said, scrambling to his feet and running out to the driveway. "No, there's no way... Oh Holly crap of an cracker!"

The family ran outside after the teenager where he was standing in front of a brand new car.

"She did."

"I got a car?" Anthony exclaimed. "I got a car! I got a freaking car!"

He ran over to his parents and hugged them both, but while Tori hugged her son back, Jade simply accepted the affection suspiciously "Thank you guys so much! You're the best parents ever!"

"Why are you thanking them?" Matt asked confused "The key was in your stocking so that means it was from Santa."

"Well then thank you, Santa," Anthony beamed, rustling his little nephew's hair.

He then walked over to his new vehicle, "I can't wait to show this to Emily! She's going to be so jealous!"

"Because that's every boyfriend's dream." Tori teased "To make his girlfriend green with envy."

"Can I take it out for a spin?"

"Not yet Tony." Jade said "I want to make sure you can drive this with my supervision."

"Mom, it's not like I'm going to crash my new car!"

"I'm still supervising." Jade said "But... seeing as it is Christmas, you can go to the market and get us some more things for dinner."

Anthony hugged her before getting in his car, everyone got back inside while Jade and Tori watched him back out of the driveway and begin to drive down the street.

The former Goth crossed her arms, giving her wife a hard glare.

"What?"

"You bought him a car?!"

"What's wrong with that?" Tori asked sheepishly "Every teenager wants one."

"Most teenagers do." Jade corrected "Ours wants to study cooking on the other side of the globe!"

"But did you see the smile on his face?" Tori asked pleased with herself "A much better gift than studying at some old faraway French culinary school."

"Vega... you didn't buy Anthony a car just to change his mind out of going to France and instead study closer to home... Did you?"

Tori gasped "How dare you! You think I would bribe our baby boy by giving him a Ferrari?! What kind of mother do you think I am?!"

Jade raised an eyebrow.

The tanned woman smiled weakly "Think it'll work?"

"In your dreams Vega."

"It's West!" Tori pouted "... And it could still happen!"

"Only if the school burned down." Jade says offhandedly.

The cogs in the Latina's head were turning "Hey... That's not a..."

"Don't even think about it West!" The Thespian warned her ominously "You have to accept that our son wants to go to France! Let him go!"

"Couldn't we just move to France instead?"

"NO!"

"Damn it!"

Wow fifty chapters, that's gotta be some sort of record for me, to be honest I never expected to get this far and I have all of you to appreciate for that, so from the bottom of my heart THANK YOU!"

That being said; we're halfway done, yup, you read right, I'll be making up to 100 chapters of this "Parenthood" anthology series, so gimme suggestions for future chapters and wish me luck to keep this going.

If you're wondering why Holly was not in the chapter, sorry but I just couldn't find a way to incorporate her Here without making Tori flip out since clearly she still has some resentment towards her mother, plus I just wanted this to be hilarious and in my twisted mind there is nothing funnier than Tori being unwilling to accept the fact that her son is growing up.

On a another note, virtual Christmas cookies to whoever can point out the Futurama reference I wrote in this story and another batch to the person who can also answer me the very obvious hint of the green doctor's identity.

Anyway, to all of my fellow Jori readers and writers, I want to wish you a Merry X-Mas and a Happy New Year to you all!

Invader Johnny Signing Off.