Author Note: As a writer Jade was bound to tell her children "bedtime stories" when they were little, but this is what happens when one night she picks up the wrong book to read.

Tori tenderly puts down her newly adopted son on his crib.

The baby looked up at his tanned woman with nothing but curiosity, since he was getting comfortable being in the woman's embrace, Anthony lifted his arms, trying to tell his mama to hold him so that he could near her.

Instead, Tori affectionately flicked what little hair he had.

"It's bedtime Tony." The Half-Latina yawns "Bit don't worry, Momma Jade is going to come any minute now to read you a story."

Right on cue, the former Goth entered the nursery with a book in her hands, Dani and Tawny not far behind.

"What are you two doing here?" Tori asked curiously to her daughters "I thought you would be doing your homework."

"And miss the show?" Danielle giggles "Yeah right."

"What show?"

"Oh come on mama, you know." Tawny said, grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

"No, I'm afraid I don't."

Jade rolled her eyes "The twins want to know which horror story I'll be reading tonight."

"Say what?!" Tori's eyes widened in shock "You will NOT be reading our son any book out of your demented terror collection! For god's sake Jade! He's only a month old!"

"But mama, mom has read to us horror novels since we were little."

The tanned woman narrowed her eyes, directing a menacing glare towards her pale wife "Is that so?"

Jade on her part looked abashed "By little they mean... Uh...seven?"

"So not helping your case baby."

"Hey, horror novels build character!"

"If by character you mean deep psychological problems then yeah, I agree!"

"Vega, I been reading this stuff since I was in kindergarten!"

"I rest my case." Tori says dryly.

"It's still better than reading something stupid like the three little piggies!"

Said book was in the Latina's hands, with a soft sigh, staring down at the cover with a nostalgic smile, remembering when the twins were toddlers and she would read them this exact book to help them sleep.

"It's a good book!" She defended "I happen to think bedtime should be a time of innocence and not to cause night terror!"

"You worry too much." Jade snorted "Here, I'll prove it to you."

The former Goth sat in the chair that was in front of her son's crib, the baby unaware of the discussion his parents were having, instead tried to put his foot in his mouth.

Jade cleared her throat and opened the 'bedtime book.' "Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil. Cook spaghetti in boiling water, stirring occasionally until cooked through but firm to the bite, about 12 minutes. Drain."

The West family was in a "What the hell?" Moment as soon as the instructions came out of the pale woman's mouth.

"The fuck did I just read?" The Thespian thought, she quickly closed the book to see the cover and grown in exasperation "Well I feel stupid, I didn't grab Cujo, this is Auguste Gusteau's cookbook 'Anymore Can Cook.'

"Why do you guys even have that?" Tawny asked incredulously "I mean, no offence to you Mom and Mama, but cooking? Not your thing."

"That's not true!" Tori said "I can cook!"

"Serving people lemonade is not cooking Mama." Danielle says dryly.

"I have to agree with my sis there."

"We didn't buy this thing." Jade interrupted "Cat, got it for us as an anniversary present when we were married for a year."

"And did you guys even opened it?"

"The fact that I grabbed it by accident should be answer enough, Tawny."

"Touché."

"No matter, this can be fixed." Jade says "Danielle, go to the kitchen, I think that's where I left Cujo."

"Sure thing mom."

But before the eldest daughter could get out of the nursery, Anthony started crying.

"Oh what is it baby?" Tori cooed "You don't want Mom to read you a scary story?"

"Traitor."

"That's fine." Tori says with an eye roll at her wife's comment "I can read to you, how does the three little piggies sound?"

Anthony started crying louder.

Jade smirked victoriously "Well look at that, seems our son knows that books sucks."

"It doesn't suck!"

On a hunch, Tawny grabbed the cooking book from her mom's hands.

"What are you doing?"

"Let me try something sis." Tawny says, opening the cookbook to a random page and began to read "Place beef in slow cooker, and cover with onion. In a medium bowl, stir together ketchup, Worcestershire sauce, brown sugar, salt, paprika, mustard, and 1 cup water. Pour mixture over beef and onions."

Tony stopped crying, instead clapping happily as his sister read the foreign recipe.

Both Jade and Tori shared a raised eyebrow.

"Well... This is new."

"I'll say it is." The Thespian agreed "But if it makes our son sleep faster, who am I to complain."

"Continue reading sweetie." Tori said softly.

"Cover, and cook on Low for 9 to 10 hours, or until meat is tender..."

After one recipe after another the youngest member of the West family finally went to sleep.

All the women left the nursery with Tori gently closing her son's door.

"Do you think is will be a problem?" Danielle asked out of the blue.

"How could it be a problem sis?"

"I dunno, hearing about food at an early age can turn into an obsession?"

"Or a gift." Tori said with a hopeful smile.

"What are you babbling about now, Vega?"

"It's West! And I mean that if we continue reading to him cooking recipes then maybe he could be our little chef one day!"

"That would never happen." Jade says with an eye roll "Tony doesn't even know what Tawny was saying, he probably chalked it up as nothing more than words he deems funny."

The Half-Latina dropped her head "Yeah... I guess it's too fantastic for that to happen."

"Of course it is!" Jade says "Trust me Tor, I know what I'm talking about."

"But it could still happen."

"Vega, you can read him all the food recipes you want but it won't have an impact." The former Goth comments "And if there is a slim chance it, Tony begins to cool I swear to you, that I'll eat my your big ass underwear"

"JADE! My butt is not big!"

"It kinda is mom."

"We seen your panties! They're huge!"

"All right!" Tori snapped, putting both her hands over her ass self-consciously "The next person to say anything about my butt gets grounded!"

Fourteen years later:

Tori enters the kitchen and immediately picks up on a very pleasant smell, which wasn't surprising considering her son was an excellent cook.

"Umm, Tony, what smells so good."

"It's my dinner." Jade replied "And I can wait to eat it.

The Half-Latina frowned "Why is that?"

"Well mom, I dunno why but mom asked me to make a very unique dish."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I call it Panties Ala King"

Anthony got a big pair of pink panties, which Tori recognised as her own.

"And it's a huge course."

"JADE!"

For those of you who didn't see the movie Ratatouille, the cookbook "Anyone Can Cook" was a prominent thing in the film as it was in this chapter since it subconsciously made Anthony want to be a chef, cool eh?

Also, one cannot deny that Jade is a woman of her word, LOL.

The running gag that Tori has a "Big Behind" first came up in the episode "The Blonde Squad" since both Trina and Cat comment on that issue, much to her embarrassment and chagrin, but to Jade's delight in the Jori fandom.

Finally... As always, constructive criticism is accepted.

Invader Johnny Signing Off.