Chapter 2: Can't Remember A Thing
Derek sat for a long time in his dark, quiet office after finding the long-forgotten business card. He almost threw it in the waste basket, but something stopped him. Instead, he placed it in the pocket of his lab coat. His pager interrupted further thoughts of what the card meant, and he happily hustled out of his office and down the hall toward OR 1. He was hoping it was a long-complicated surgery. Just the thing to get his mind off everything.
The mysterious woman squinted her eyes at the bright lights that hummed overhead. It was time to start another dreary day. Everything became a routine since she and her daughter came to this big city a few months earlier. Life had become an uphill struggle. Not that it hadn't been before. She honestly didn't know. She couldn't remember more than a few years back. Maybe her life had always been like this. Hard, sad, and lonely.
The only thing that sparked joy in her heart was her daughter, Carwyn, named by one of the Armenian Nuns at the shelter. She was brought here after being found off the Southwest shore of Canada. No one knew how she got there… Fortunately, she had been found by a fisherman, because she was near hypothermia and was on the edge of death. The nuns nursed her back to health only to find out she had severe amnesia and was three months pregnant. None of the doctors or nurses there believed she hadn't lost her baby.
When the puzzling woman gave birth six months later, it felt right when they suggested the name Carwyn, which meant blessed loved. She looked into her four-year-olds bright eyes and wondered, like she did every day, who her father was. She knew without a doubt she must have gotten her thick dark curls and light blue eyes from him. They definitely didn't mirror her own. She looked wise beyond her years when she tilted her head to the side to question her mother about whatever it was the four-year old would find puzzling. Carwyn was so bright and sharp. It was in this little being's intelligence that her mother found the power to continue her search for answers. She knew something incredible created this tiny person and vowed to find out. That was the deciding factor in her decision to leave the comfortable sanctuary of kind nuns that had cared for her and Carwyn for over 3 years. She wasn't finding answers in this small town.
After talking to some of the doctors there, she made up her mind she needed to come to the States, to a big city with fancy hospitals and smart doctors. Doctors who specialized in the brain.
She was getting frustrated though. She tried to do what petty research she could with the little resources she had. She bounced from city to city trying to learn all she could from medical books and journals she found in libraries. Even that was more difficult than expected. To all those looking in, she was a homeless person and most steered clear of her. Her presence inside a library made everyone uncomfortable, so she learned to go early in the morning when they were least busy. Even then she knew her time was limited, and it was only a matter of moments before she'd be asked to leave. She found the medical journals and anatomy books rather easy to read and understand and had wondered why. She concluded from her various studies that the top Neurosurgeon called Seattle home and worked at one of the hospitals there. So, she and Carwyn had picked up what few belongings they had and traveled here. Seattle Washington. Now, it was just a matter of time before she would be able to find this doctor and all the promise he held.
She gathered their modest belongings and held her hand out for Carwyn to grab. They wounded in and out of other homeless mothers and their children, headed for the front door. She found this women and children's shelter her first night in Seattle. It was located in a basement of a large Catholic church on Main Street. It didn't seem like much to strangers passing by, but to her daughter and her, and about 65 others in the same situation, they couldn't dream for more. It held promise of a free warm dinner and a dry bed to sleep in.
She hurried Carwyn out the door and found that it was drizzling outside. She reached into her well-worn bag and pulled out two ponchos she received from a friendly volunteer. She secured Carwyn's first then pulled her own over her clothes. Ponchos in place, she and Carwyn hurried on with their morning routine. She found a free daycare where she was able to drop Carwyn a few hours at a time while she looked for work. It was a program the government offered for homeless parents trying to get back on their feet. She hated leaving Carwyn with every bit of her soul, but found it was the only way to work odd jobs here and there to earn a bit of money. At least the center was safe, and she was only gone for a few hours. Besides she needed to earn all the money she could if she even dreamed of meeting with the top Neurosurgeon in the country. So, she pressed on, determined to continue on this journey they had started, curious to see what the day held for her and her daughter.
"You need anything else Dr. Shepherd?" Isobel Stevens asked the attending before hurrying out of the room. She felt sorry for the man. Meredith had burned him. She had hurt them all when she left so suddenly, but none more than poor Derek. Everyone had dealt with it in their own way. Izzie had baked, George sulked, Cristina was angry and bitter, okay angrier and bitterer than her usual. Alex pretended he didn't care either way, but Izzie knew him better than the others and knew he had been hurt just as much. Derek turned to drinking. He had become so depressed and angry. Those were dark and scary days she didn't like to remember. Eventually something had snapped him out of it and the anger was gone. Now his eyes were bottomless pools of hurt and despair. He drugs himself through the days not saying much to anyone.
At first, when Meredith left, they all blamed him for everything. For playing with her emotions and breaking her. Blame soon faded away into pity and a silent truce spread across the group. They tried to be his friend and talk to him, but he had shut out the world. Not even his ex-wife, and new husband, the man who had once been his best friend, could reach him. But it didn't stop them from trying. They also were smart enough to know he had his good days and bad ones, and this, Izzie thought to herself, as she hurried down the hall, out of his war path, was definitely one of the bad ones.
Derek kept his focus on the images on the screen that blinked before him. He only half acknowledged Izzie as she had hurried away. He wasn't having a good day and he knew she understood and wouldn't take it personally. They never did.
Those around him assumed his deliberate isolation came from his need to think of her.To remember her. Those assumptions couldn't have been further from the truth. The reality of it was he didn't let himself think of her.He couldn't. That sent him spiraling into a sea of darkness, gloom and despair. He was there once already and didn't plan on ever returning. That's why he found it odd that his attention kept turning towards the small business card that sat isolated in his pocket. He quickly glanced around the room to assure he was alone and then slowly took the card out, as he had done repeatedly that morning. This time he held it in one hand and with his other hand reached for his phone.
...So, Meredith has amnesia? What do you think so far?