In this chapter I'm gonna kill two birds with one stone by putting two of a child's worst fears in one.
Do I have you at the edge of your seats yet? If so... Then I'm doing my job just fine.
"I hate, hate... Fucking hate computers!" Jade bellowed angrily as she got out of her woman cave. "Whoever invented computer viruses should be dragged into the street and shot! And then stabbed with scissors and finally castrated!"
"It's your fault for pissing off Robbie when you insulted Cat's meatballs." Tori said monotonously, having heard this yelling fest all too often.
"How was I supposed to know that Shappiro would finally grow a pair and that he would sent me a fucking virus today of all days?! Jade snapped "I mean, come on! The guy's a pussy! Cat has more balls than he does!"
"Why is today so important?"
"It's the deadline to hand inmy book!" Jade replied "Good thing I had it saved on a back up flash drive or I seriously would be putting Shappiro in a wooden box and give him a Viking burial, with lots and lots of fire!"
"What have I told you about fantasising about murdering our friends?"
"It's dark and illegal."
"Good girl." Tori said, patting the cushion next to her on the couch. "You won some quality time with your loving wife,"
"Yippe for me." The Former Goth said sarcastically.
"Watch it."
"Well, let's see what's on tonight," Jade said tiredly "I'm way beat to think of ways of causing Robbie bodily harm."
Tori gave her the evil eye in response.
"What now?"
"We're alone for the first time in who knows how long and all you think is of watching TV?"
"It's Saturday night Tori." Jade said "And the twins could be watching a movie on their room or playing video games or a board game or they could be sleeping, even though the last one is very unlikely, do you really want to risk doing something PG-13 with our very innocent daughters on the second floor?"
"Oh, well when you put it that way, guess taking a risk in this case is a no."
"My thoughts exactly." Jadesighed, taking the remote and turning on the T.V. "But don't worry, wait an hour or so and I'll be sure to blow your brains out."
Tori grinned like a moron at that "Can't wait."
"I'm sure you can't Vega."
"It's West!"
"Um hum." Jade said distractedly as she surfed through the channels, hoping to find something good.
"Wait, wait wait!" Tori moved her arms wildly as she shouts "Turn back on channel sixty!"
"Why?" The thespian asked "It was only some shitty movie about a dog playing basketball."
"I know!" Tori says with nostalgia "It was one of my favourite childhood movies of all time, it always made me cry."
"Why am I not surprised?" Jade sneered "You're such a sap."
"Need I remind you that you're married to this sap?"
"I made a few mistakes in my life, yes."
"Hey!"
"Oh, perfect!" Jade says gleefully, ignoring her wife's indignation "I almost forgot this was on!"
"What's that?"
"What's that?!" Jade asked annoyed "What? have you been living under a rock or something?"
"I haven't had much time to watch TV lately." Tori answered lamely.
"That's no excuse." The former Goth shot back "Come on, we're in the entertainment industry you dork; but seeing that even looking things up online is too much of a hazzle for you, this is the new season of Samurai Jack! I been waiting to see this for months now, looks like it's just starting."
"You rather watch a cartoon than an emotional movie about a lovable pup?"
"A bloody cartoon" Jade corrected "See, we're getting some recaps of the last episode."
"Oh my God!"
"Awesome isn't it?"
"Why would he cut her throat?!"
"Who cares?! It's the perfect way to relax."
Suddenly the Half-Latina grabbed the remote from her wife's hand, changing the channel to the dog film.
"Vega! What the hell?!"
"I'm not about to sit here and watch some samurai start chopping people's heads off!"
"He only slit her throat!"
"Oh that makes it so much better!" Tori said sarcastically.
"You seen this crappy movie before!" Jade pointed out, making the grab the remote back, but Tori pushed her away.
"It's not crappy! It's adorable!"
"So is my ass but I don't see you giving it the attention it deserves!" Jade snapped trying to get the remote out of Tori's hands "Now give me the damn remote so that I can watch my show!"
"Over my dead body!"
"Don't tempt me Vega."
"It's West!"
"Vega! Vega! Vega! Vega!
"Oh real mature Ja..."
Suddenly, the two women heard the sound of someone sniffling behind them. They both turned around and saw their eight year old daughter, Danielle, standing at the foot of the stairs, crying.
"Dani, baby, what's wrong?" Tori asked, turning off the T.V, all thoughts of seeing the movie gone from her mind.
"Did your sister take one of your toys again?" Jade asked "Or were you asleep and had a nightmare?"
"No...No," The little girl sniffed. "It wasn't that mom."
"Then what is it baby?"
"You... You guys are gonna gonna die aren't you?"
"What?" Tori frowned, looking at Jade, who was equally surprised at such a bold question coming from their child. "Why would you think that Mija?"
"Danielle," Jade said her daughter's name moving over so that she could sit between her parents "Come on, talk to us, sweetheart."
"My friend Maggie" Danielle said shakily. "She told me that that her parents were fighting... Like a lot... Almost all the time, there was a lot of screaming and.. hitting and... and one day her daddy was in the house and the next he wasn't because her mommy told him to go... And that she wanted a divorce, he... He never came back... Because... Because he died in a crash and... and I don't want that you happen to you guys too! I don't want you guys to say mean things and die because of it!"
"Dani, calm down, sweetie," Tori said, pulling her daughter, who was now crying so hard she was shaking, onto her lap. "Your mom and I aren't going to get a divorce."
"Never," Jade nodded, stroking her child's hair. "And we're not going to die either."
"But... I keep hearing you fight," Danielle hiccuped. "You guys were just yelling at each other about what to watch on T.V."
"It doesn't mean we're getting a divorce because of it baby."
Danielle looked up at her mama, the sight of her daughter's teary face broke the Half-Latina's heart and she suspected Jade wasn't too far behind.
"But the other day I heard you guys yelling at each other."
"When was that?" Jade asked this time.
"I think it was two days ago." Danielle said trying to concentrate "You and mama were saying how much you guys stink."
Tori raised an eyebrow, she couldn't recall ever telling Jade anything of the sort, but the former Goth did.
"Listen Dani." Jade said slowly "Your mama and I were just... going down memory lane, see we were watching some old videos from high school and we were laughing and shouting at each other jokingly I might add at how umm... unprofessional we were back then."
"What does that mean?"
"It means we weren't at out best behavior."
"You called mom a gank mama."
"Oh..." Tori said softly, glancing at Jade.
"The thing about that" The thespian said uncertain as to what to say next. "That... that was a term of endearment, she simply said that because it's something she has called me way before we got married."
"Isn't that a bad word?"
"It's an insult yes, but not a bad word." Jade corrected softly "In our case however, it's part of our thing baby, you have to understand...We don't really fight, fight, if anything they're sort of... You know... have... disagreements."
"But you were yelling at each other."
"That doesn't mean we stopped loving each other." Tori said.
"B- but.. m-mom said marrying you was a mistake." Danielle stuttered with teary eyes.
It was Jade's turn to hug her daughter "It was meant to be a joke and your mama knew that."
"Yeah... I did."
"It's not funny." Danielle said slowly.
"Listen to me baby." Jade said lifting her daughter's chin so they could be eye to eye "Never, ever think that you mama and I don't love each other, we get mad over really stupid things because of something the other did and say things we really don't mean, all parents do that but that doesn't mean we stop loving each other."
"So does that mean you're not going to ever get a divorce?" Danielle asked, wiping her eyes. "Or that either of you will run and die because of some yelling?"
Jade and Tori shuddered at the last question, they couldn't picture that ever happening so confidently they said at the same time.
"No, baby, never."
"Good," The little girl sniffed. "Good."
"Come on, Dani," Jade said, picking her up in her arms. "I'll go tuck you back in. Say good night to mama."
"Night, mama," Danielle yawned.
Tori smiled. "Night, sweetie ."
She watched as Jade disappeared upstairs with their daughter, as soon as they were out of ear's reach, she swore under her breath.
"Shit."
"Is she asleep?" The Half-Latina asked half an hour later when Jade came back and sat down next to her on the couch.
The thespian's silent nod was all the answer she needed.
"So...you feel as fucking terrible as I do?"
"How could I not?" Tori replied heavily. "For God's sake Jade! Our eight year old daughter was bawling her eyes out because she thought we were getting a freaking divorce!"
"What really struck me was that she thought one of us or both of us would kick the bucket." Jade said grimly "She's too young to even think of that!"
"You think may that for the children sake we try to stop arguing?" Tori questioned, putting the idea out there.
"You know we can't do that Tori." The former Goth said "I mean it's us you know? We're never going to be able to stop arguing, it's in our nature, it's who we are and one of the reasons why I love you so much."
"Really?"
"You think I would've settled for someone who couldn't keep up with me?" Jade inquired rhetorically "Tori, since I known you, you never let me push you around, you had a great pair of symbolical balls, Vega."
Tori giggled at that.
"You dork." The pale woman said fondly "That being said, you also gave me the benefit of the doubt and if it wasn't for that... I don't think we would be here right now."
"I love you."
"That's the important thing" Jade continued with a small smile . "That we really do love each other."
"And we're not getting divorced."
"Till death do us part."
Tori glared at her wife.
"Ok... I just heard what I said, very bad timing on my part."
Despite that poor choice of words, both women looked at each other lovingly before sharing a kiss, not a very long one but one still filled with love and devotion.
After they broke apart the married couple, spent the next hour on the couch, watching a movie they both agreed on, Tori resting her head on Jade's shoulder, her arm protectively around the Half-Latina.
Tori suddenly sprung from her seat, surprising her spouse.
"Jade..."
"What?"
"Something just came to me... Something bad."
"Whatever it is, it can't be worse than the talk with had with Danielle."
"It's not but it certainly its next on the list."
"What are you babbling about?"
"Remember when Danielle said she heard you saying marrying me was a mistake?"
"Yeah" Jade shrugs "What of it?"
"What else do you think she heard?"
The brunette's eyes widened "Holy shit."
"My thoughts exactly."
"What does shit mean?" An innocent voice asked.
Jade and Tori froze right then, slowly turning around to see their youngest daughter Tawny on the stairs.
"Sweet merciful crap."
LOL, after such a grim and serious topic with Danielle, I thought of ending it with Tawny hearing a very strong word, Jade and Tori are now going to do some damage control.
Yes it was kinda grim but not every chapter I do will be filled with "Unicorns and rainbows."
Now I can hear Jade nearby with her trusty pair of scissors ready to strike for mentioning those two things she hates.
I also couldn't help putting a reference to Samurai Jack Season five since I do believe Jade would like it.
Invader Johnny Signing Off.