Chapter 8: Ferry Boats and Memories

Alex and Izzie strolled along the dock holding hands. They were enjoying a quiet Sunday afternoon together. Things at home and around the hospital had been so tense the last week; ever since Mark and Addie had shared with them what Derek had told them about the suspicions surrounding Meredith's disappearance. It had caused a chill amongst the group, and no one really wanted to talk about it. None of them had talked to Derek after his important meeting with the detective. He hadn't shown up for work after that, Burke explaining that he had asked for a couple weeks off unexplained. The small family of doctors was eager to learn what Detective Henry might have found out, but Derek wouldn't take anyone's calls, not even Addison's, which was extremely rare. They figured he was just taking time to deal with everything that was going on.

Izzie found she was easily irritated and uneasy for some reason that morning, so Alex had suggested a long walk down by the harbor. It was doing Izzie good, and she could honestly feel herself relaxing, all the tension that had been building up the last week, melting with each step. They talked about casual stuff. Cool surgeries they'd seen the last week. Humorous patients they had encountered. Alex chatted about how the Sea Hawks actually had a chance at the NFC Championship Title this year. They walked slowly, both enjoying the fresh salty air, watching as strangers hurried by.

Izzie suddenly stopped, and Alex turned to see what had caught his girlfriend's attention. He followed her gaze to a small little girl standing by herself, her tiny face smashed up against a window of one of the small shops that spotted the harbor. It was a souvenir shop, and a collection of small toys decorated the window display. Her indigo eyes were wide and shone with excitement. Her dark curls were wild and framed her petite face.

"I know her from somewhere Alex." Izzie spoke to him taking a few steps in her direction.

Alex shrugged not thinking too much into what his girlfriend just said. After all, Izzie was doing her residency in pediatric surgery and she saw hundreds of kids each month

"You recognize her from the hospital or something, Iz?"

"No, I don't think so." Izzie knew this little girl was not from the hospital. "She just looks so familiar. Don't you think so?"

Alex looked again and had to agree that he'd seen those sharp blue eyes before. Izzie and Alex exchanged a glance, and now equally fascinated, approached the dark-haired girl.

Izzie kneeled next to the small child. She grinned as she saw that the little girl was staring at a little Raggedy Ann doll, longing in her eyes.

"Hi there." Izzie said softly, trying not to alarm the child. The girl turned, startled by the strangers who now stood close to her. Her eyes grew in fear, and she took a few steps back, shying away. "Where's your mommy?"

The scared girl started looking around frantically; realization hitting that she had been separated from her mom. Tears formed in her terrified eyes making the blue sparkle like the ocean.

"It's okay honey, are you lost?" It was now Alex who dropped himself down to her level and talked soothingly to the upset child.

Before either adult could react, the girl turned and ran away with surprising speed. Izzie and Alex trailed her, curious at where she was headed. They followed her around the corner and watched as she ran into the arms of a woman who was obviously her mother. The light-haired woman swept the child up in her arms and held her close, nuzzling her face in the dark curls. Alex and Izzie stopped in their tracks and watched the exchange from a distance. The united mother and daughters' voice drifted down the breeze way and they could hear the woman tell the child to never walk away like that again. She had been scared to death.

Satisfied that the child was safe, and deserting their attempt at figuring out who the girl was, they both turned to leave. At the same moment the woman withdrew her face from the untamed curls and set her daughter down.

Alex and Izzie gasped and looked at each other. Could it be? But when they looked back, the mother and daughter were gone. Without saying a word, they both took off after the two, Alex sprinting as fast as his athletic legs would carry him. They looked everywhere. Behind shops, around corners, back at the harbor, inside the small restaurants, but nothing. It seemed the two had vanished as fast as they had appeared. Alex and Izzie laughed at themselves uneasily. They mocked themselves at thinking the impossible. It wasn't Meredith, they told themselves. It couldn't be. They were just seeing things, after everything that had gone on the last week. They decided they were done with their "quiet" afternoon, and it was time to head home. They rode back to the house in silence, each feeling even more troubled and tense then when they arrived.

Meredith and Carwyn were enjoying their Sunday afternoon together. Since she didn't have to work that day, she decided to take Carwyn to see the Ferry Boats. Her daughter had talked nonstop about Ferry Boats ever since reading a story about them during daycare. Carwyn skipped excitedly along the harbor's dock, eager to get a peek at the large boats. Meredith had giggled at her daughters' innocent enthusiasm but found herself just as excited as they reached the ferry's. They stayed there for a long time watching the people on deck come and go. What was it about these immense boats that made her heart quicken in her chest? It was intense, and she smiled down at her daughter seeing the joy mirrored in her blue eyes.

Their moment was interrupted by a group of rambunctious teenagers causing a commotion. They were hollering and throwing glass bottles at each other. Meredith instantly grabbed her daughter and put her behind her just as one of the rowdy kids pushed his skinny friend, causing him to bump into Meredith. Meredith stumbled a few feet back and caught herself on the railing. The group quickly hurried on, not even pausing to apologize to the petite woman they just knocked over.

Meredith froze, one hand on her daughter, holding her close, the other still grasping the cold metal of the rail. She looked over the dock, down to the dark sea beneath her and felt her head beginning to spin. Scenes started to flash in her mind:

She was standing alone on the deck of a ferry boat. She was nervous and upset. She remembered she was headed somewhere to tellhimshe was pregnant. She couldn't remember who "him" was. She saw a man approaching and she remembered how scared she was. The next thing she knew she was falling; she caught the right side of her head on something hard and everything went black after that.

She was now suffocating. She desperately tried to breathe, but couldn't take a breath. Everything was black and she was freezing cold. She was spinning in every direction trying to figure out what was happening, struggling against the unknown force. And then suddenly she was free. She surfaced, gasping for air. Everything around her was pitch black, the sliver of moon not doing much to light up the night.

Gathering strength she didn't know she had, she began to swim. She swam until her arms were numb, until her lungs burned, until she didn't know where her legs stopped, and the freezing water started. She swam, an unknown force driving her. Her head was throbbing, and her tired body was close to giving up. She didn't know how long she'd been in the ocean but knew it was too long. Even in her confused state, she knew she was doomed, the chance of being found nearly impossible. Slowly she stopped moving her arms and stilled her kicking feet. She floated on top of the water for a short period of time before her body turned into lead. She could feel herself giving up; surrendering to the ocean as it slowly pulled her in. She went quietly, not putting up any more fight and as her head was about to be swallowed she saw the faint light of a boat in the distance. The last sound that reached her was the boats whistle, calling out to her. It was no use though. She closed her eyes and waited for death.

The next scene that flashed through Meredith's mind was lying on a hard bed, the room rising and falling around her. She thought for a moment maybe the odd movement was a result from her head injury, but then realized she was, once again, on a boat. She wasn't dead. Someone had saved her. She couldn't move and she couldn't call out. She was too weak. She had been wrapped in dry blankets in an effort to warm her up, but it hadn't started working yet, her body vibrating from the cold. She was barely aware of large, burly men moving around her. The strong stench of fish greeted her nostrils and churned her stomach. Her slow mind concluded she must be on a fishing boat. They were very common, often running routes up and down the coast from Seattle to Canada. She tried to focus on what the fishermen were saying. She could only catch bits and pieces of the conversation. They were discussing where they should take their unusual "catch". The last words to drift over her as she once again fell into a deep unconsciousness were "a small shelter ran by nuns at the next port in Canada". Her world went black and she stayed in the comfort of darkness and quiet for a long time.

When she would open her eyes, several days later, she'd be greeted by several friendly nuns who would quickly become the only family she could remember.

Just as fast as the memories had come, they were gone. Meredith quickly remembered where she was and regained her composure. She tucked a loose strand of hair that had come free from her pony tail behind her ear, and looked around. Her heart sank when she didn't see Carwyn. She frantically searched the dock and couldn't see her small daughter anywhere. Fear suddenly seized her body and she started to shake. She called out Carwyn's name begging for her to answer. She started moving, now hysterical, searching the crowds for a small head of dark curls. She went up and down the shops poking her head in each one, begging for her baby to answer back. She debated in her head if she should find a police officer. What if someone had taken her?

In her crazed frenzy she nearly missed the dark head of curls come from around the corner in a panic of her own. She swept her daughter up and held her as tight as she could. She couldn't remember ever being this scared. Carwyn was all she had in this world and if she ever lost her…. She couldn't even bring herself to finish the dreadful thought. She buried her tears in Carwyn's curls and told her how scared she had been, begging her never to leave her side again. After holding her close for a moment more she drew in a deep breath and set her daughter down.

She quickly looked over Carwyn to make sure she was okay and told her they needed to hurry. Meredith gripped Carwyn's small hand tightly as she weaved in and out of the crowds. The bus was due any minute and because of the unplanned delay, they would probably miss the bus. She hurried on, feeling bad for making Carwyn's little legs move so fast but didn't have a choice. Only a couple buses worked their route on Sunday, and if she missed this one, she'd have to wait until it was dark before the next one came. Meredith hurried on; silently hoping the bus was behind schedule for once.

She breathed a deep sigh of relief as she turned the corner just as the bus was pulling up. She and Carwyn quickly jumped in line and boarded the bus. She handed over the required change and found an empty seat to the rear. The two tired girls plopped down and it wasn't long before Carwyn was out, her small body resting safely against her mom's. Meredith smiled down and breathed a sigh of relief that nothing had happened to her Blessed Love.