Chapter 13: Carwyn Meets Derek

Derek didn't know how long he let himself stay sitting on the floor in the hallway outside. After sobbing until his body had nothing left to give, he quietly picked himself off the cold floor and found a chair. He then sat back down and just stared straight ahead, trying to figure out how he was going to get through this.

His thoughts were interrupted by the clicking of expensive heels on the sterile hard ground. He shifted his tired eyes to the approaching woman and was met with compassionate green ones. Addison took the empty seat next to her ex-husband and stayed quiet, letting him take the lead.

Derek let out a frustrated sigh and sat up, running both hands through his disheveled hair. He turned towards Addison and shook his head. "It's… It's almost surreal. Meredith's alive. She's been alone and scared not knowing who she was. Thinking she didn't have anyone in this world who cared about her, who loved her." He shook his head again, almost not believing it all himself. Derek went on, his voice shaky now, "All these years. All this time, I thought I was the victim. When the only victim has been Meredith and…."

His voice cracked and he had to swallow a few times before he could go on. "Did you know I have a daughter? Meredith and I have a daughter." He corrected himself. Derek had a faraway look in his eyes. The sorrow had been replaced with wonder and awe. He looked back at Addison. "Her name is Carwyn." He smiled a small smile, the reality still hard to believe.

Addison smiled and nodded back at her ex-husband. It was so good to see him smile. "Yes, Derek I know. She's absolutely beautiful." Addison felt her heart quicken. Children were something that Derek always dreamed of, but something Addison had never been willing to give.

Derek's eyes brightened in surprise. "You've seen her?"

Before Addison could answer, Burke walked up and interrupted the two good friends. "Shepherd, we really need to discuss that other matter I mentioned."

Derek looked back at Preston and shook his head disbelievingly. "Yes Burke, I would say so. A tiny piece of information like, I have a daughter might have been helpful with the whole stay professional act everyone is so determined to keep." Derek spoke sarcastically, but they all knew his anger wasn't with anyone but himself.

"So, you know." Was the only reply Burke could think of.

"I know." Derek echoed.

The dark that had returned to Derek's eyes quickly disappeared and was replaced with a faint flicker of light. "Where is she?" He looked up into both Addison and Burke's face. He suddenly looked a little younger than he had in months, a new expression of hopefulness resting on his features.

Addison and Preston exchanged a glance that Derek couldn't read.

"What? What is it?" Derek was suddenly worried again.

Preston sat on the other side of Derek, opposite Addison. He took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose, something he found himself doing a lot lately. "Derek" he started slowly, "Carwyn was admitted last night to the Pediatric Ward for malnourishment." Preston paused and waited to see how the fragile man would take the news.

Derek rocked back and tears stung his eyes. He shook his head and thought it crazy. He had only learned he was a father minutes ago and here he was, worried out of his mind for his little girl. His heart ached and he vowed he would do everything in his power to take care of her. To protect her. To make sure no one would ever hurt his innocent child. Paternal feelings flowed through his mind and body that he didn't know he had.

He just nodded at Burke and asked, "Can I see her?"

"Of course, of course. I just wanted to warn you about her condition and also, Derek, there's something else." Burke thought it best if he warned Derek first.

Alarm immediately registered in Derek's eyes but before he could speak Burke put up his hands, "No no. It's nothing to be worried about. It's just that Carwyn is extremely shy. The doctors are having a hard time because she is so scared and frightened. They haven't been able to get her to be responsive towards them. She cries when anyone tries to touch her and squeezes her eyes shut when we talk to her. She'll be fine, Derek. She just needs some time. I just don't want you to be discouraged is all. I guess what everyone needs around here is time."

With that Derek nodded and stood. "Where is she?"

"I'll take you Derek, come on." It was Addison that spoke as she stood from her spot on the chair and led the way.

The chief called out a good luck and then turned the opposite way, busy with the duty of making sure the surgical floor ran smoothly.

Addison led Derek to the Pediatric Wing of Seattle Grace and pointed out Carwyn's small room, before hurrying on with her own work she had to tend to. Derek paused outside the opened door, not letting himself be seen. He listened and recognized Izzie's voice along with another Pediatrician and a few nurses.

"Thank you for coming Dr. Stevens. I know you're surgical and this is outside of your normal responsibilities, but someone mentioned you know her mother and we thought maybe, as a personal favor, you could help us." It was the pediatrician on call talking to Izzie. She went on, "It's just that we need to take another blood sample from Carwyn, but she's too upset and won't sit still. The sedative we gave her last night has worn off and I would just like to avoid giving her another one, if possible. I've tried, and so have the nurses, to no avail. Maybe you could try?"

Derek listened closer, still avoiding being noticed. He heard Izzie cross the room closer to Carwyn and immediately the little girl began crying.

Izzie tried her best to comfort the frightened child. "Carwyn, it's okay. Can you open your eyes? My name is Izzie, I'm a friend of your mommies. Can I touch your arm for a second? Hold still sweetie…."

"Mommy. Mama. Mama!"

The tiny voice sounded terrified, and Derek couldn't take it any longer. He stepped the rest of the way into the room and let out a gasp as his heart jumped into his throat. He let his eyes drink in the sight of his beautiful daughter, so tiny, sitting on the large hospital bed. His eyes swept the room, appraising the situation. Izzie was bent over the bed, desperately struggling with Carwyn, who just pulled the blankets over her head in an attempt to shut out the strangers. The other pediatrician and nurses stood to the side of the room, helpless.

Izzie let out a small gasp of shock as she turned towards Derek. She immediately abandoned her efforts and took a few steps back from Carwyn, curious to what Derek would do. The other ladies in the room just watched in silence, confused to why the hot shot Neurosurgeon had entered the room.

Derek could hear Carwyn whimpering softly under the blankets and slowly walked towards her. "Carwyn?" His voice was so soft and tender, Izzie nearly didn't recognize it. "Carwyn?" He said it a little louder now, but just as gentle. The little girl under the sheets stopped wiggling and her breathing steadied. Derek finished crossing the room and now sat carefully on the side of her bed. "Carwyn" He said it one more time and this time, ever so slowly, the blanket was lowered down.

He could have been looking in a mirror. Her teary blue eyes matched his and their tousled dark curls were the same. He couldn't help but smile at her perfect nose she had undoubtedly inherited from her mother along with her perfect tiny mouth and determined jaw. She looked up at him and he felt himself fall in love all over again.

The tension in the room was thick. Everyone held their breath as they wondered how this shy and timid child would respond to the large husky man.

His heart was beating like crazy feeling the intense love and compassion he had for his daughter he never knew. He tried unsuccessfully to swallow the large lump that had formed in his throat and his voice came out soft and affectionately. "Hi Carwyn." He didn't know what else to say. He wanted to tell her that he was her Daddy. That he loved her so much and was so sorry that he hadn't been there for her. For her and her mommy. But that he was there now, and he would never let anything bad happen to her ever again. He wanted to say it all but all he could say was hi.

He watched, as his daughter's facial features had changed from fear to uncertainty. He didn't move, not wanting to break their stare and interrupt the moment.

Then suddenly out of nowhere Carwyn lurched forward and into the arms of Derek Shepherd. He wrapped his strong arms around her tiny body and let her bury her face into his chest. He lowered his head into her hair and breathed in the little girl scent. He let his tears fall freely into the mess of curls and rocked her back and forth softly whispering words of comfort and love into her small ear. They sat there; holding on to each other for dear life, forgetting there was anyone else in the room, anyone else in the world.

The other occupants of the room that witnessed the incredible turn of events, couldn't speak. Izzie, tears streaming down her face, silently motioned for everyone to leave. It wasn't right for anyone to interrupt the intimate moment Derek was having. They tiptoed out of the room and Izzie stole one last glance towards the man who had been saved by a little girl.