Four years later
Fifteen-year-old Lizzy was seated at the desk in her room in the rook house. It was the day before the start of her fifth year, and Lizzy could feel the anticipation in the air. However, she could tell the atmosphere in the Wizarding World had shifted somewhat. The death of Cedric Diggory during the Triwizard Tournament the year before had been shocking, yet, there was no evidence of any foul play. Luna had been getting the Daily Prophet- "To keep up with what the competition are saying," she'd explained. Lizzy was more than happy to stay away from all the news and nonsense, but here and there, she would hear Luna mumbling about shoddy reporting and slander. Lizzy knew enough to know that Harry Potter had gotten a bad wrap in the press, everything from making wild claims of You-Know-Who's return to actually being the responsible party for Cedric's demise.
Lizzy hadn't had a lot of contact with Potter over the years. Being in separate houses made it difficult to speak often, but she also hadn't gone out of her way to look for him. Then again, he'd probably been scared off by Ron's assertions that her cousin's family was crazy, because he hadn't really gone out of his way to find her, either. Then, adding the fact that most of the house overlap was from Quidditch, something Lizzy avoided like the plague, and it was not hard to see why she and Potter had never really hit it off.
She had heard a lot of crazy rumors about Potter though. First year, there was that thing with the dragon, then the Philosopher's Stone; second year, everyone had been talking about how he was the Heir of Slytherin who was looking to take down all the Muggleborns; third year, there had been whispers that Sirius Black was actually Potter's godfather who had betrayed his family to You-Know-Who; and of course, last year…well, you could never believe anything that ridiculous Skeeter woman wrote anyway.
In all, Lizzy wasn't entirely sure what to believe. Potter had seemed like a nice enough bloke when she'd met him, but of course, people could change. In reality, maybe she'd just gotten the wrong measure of the guy; it wasn't as though they really spent much time together. But…something about him made her think that maybe he was being misrepresented. For starters, Potter couldn't be the Heir of Slytherin- one of his best friends was Muggleborn, and she was attacked. Lizzy had noticed how gloomy Potter and Weasley had been immediately following Granger's petrification. There's no way it was Potter.
Throughout all of these things going on, Lizzy took comfort in the familiarity of her homework and kept her head down. Her classwork had been as good as could be expected. She excelled in bookwork and theory, but when it came to the actual spells, she often needed more practice than most. The only areas she felt she really thrived in were Charms and Ancient Runes. To her, there were more charms to express herself than with the other disciplines, and Professor Flitwick was always kind enough to offer pointers in a, "Try, try again," fashion. Similarly, she seemed to have a knack for languages, and enjoyed decoding the runes and learning their uses.
Currently, Lizzy was slowly making her way through her summer potions assignment. She really hated potions. All of the nasty, slimy ingredients were one thing, but to add to it, Professor Snape's assertions that they were all stupid dunderheads made her even more keen to fly under his radar. As having his ire directed at her had, in fact, happened a few times, she was hoping not to repeat the experience. At least he never had anything bad to say about her essays- writing happened to be a particular strength of hers.
Just as she was finishing up, there was a soft knock on her door. Without waiting for a response, Luna appeared, wearing her spectrespecs and bouncing slightly on her toes. Lizzy raised an eyebrow at her cousin.
"All set for school tomorrow, I take it?"
Luna smiled happily. "Of course. All of my homework is complete, and my trunk is packed. What about you?"
Lizzy sighed, carefully putting away the potions essay she'd been crafting into her trunk. "Just finishing up," she replied, checking to make sure everything was put into its proper spot in the trunk. Ms. Twinklekins chose that moment to leap up onto Lizzy's lap, looking for pets and attention. Lizzy gave a small smile and complied.
"How have the wrackspurts been lately?"
Lizzy looked up to find Luna with an uncharacteristically serious look on her face. Over the past few years, Lizzy had struggled with the wrackspurts periodically. Luna seemed to be baffled by how violent they were with Lizzy at times, a few of them having changed color and seeming to try to cause true harm. Ms. Twinklekins was often needed to drive them off or to pull Lizzy out of her head to end the assault. Luna had begun to ask Lizzy about her experiences every so often, keeping the observations carefully recorded in a diary.
Lizzy, for her part, still wasn't sure she believed in the wrackspurts, which during these assaults had begun to behave more like dementors than anything else. All she knew was that sometimes she got pulled into spiraling thoughts and didn't know how to escape. Distractions helped for a while, but her mind tended to pick back up where it left off.
But, Lizzy also knew that this was Luna's way of caring, so she humored her cousin and didn't protest at her insistence that a magical creature kept attacking her mind.
"Only a couple episodes the past month. Mostly the same as before- caused by uncertainty or fear, characterized by self-blame, anxiety…you know the drill." Lizzy sighed, setting Ms. Twinklekins on the floor and resuming checking her trunk to ensure all her belongings were safely within it before shutting the lid. She pretended not to notice Luna making a couple of notes in her diary, which was purple and sparkly, paired with a matching purple, sparkly, self-inking quill.
The following morning saw the two girls making their way to King's Cross with their trunks and Lizzy's grey cat in tow. Xenophilius, who had somewhat warmed to Lizzy after all this time, waved to the girls cheerily and wished them a happy school year, but said he had to get back as there was a conspiracy in the Ministry that needed his attention.
A few minutes later, the two girls had found a compartment at the back of the train and stowed their trunks. Luna pulled out the Quibbler and began reading it upside down, her wand absentmindedly placed behind her ear. Lizzy shook her head fondly at her cousin, then let her cat out and pulled a shrunken book from her pocket, which was entitled, Charms Advancements.
"Engorgio," Lizzy said softly, pointing her wand at it. The book instantly returned to normal size, and Lizzy flopped into the seat across from Luna, watching their schoolmates from the train car window.
She noticed the other girls in her year from Ravenclaw milling about on the platform with their parents, and a group of her aquaintances from Hufflepuff were chattering excitedly about their breaks. She spotted Potter and Granger with the Weasley's, an assortment of other people who looked to be on guard for trouble, and a giant black dog, who jumped up and placed paws on Potter's shoulders.
In terms of friends, Lizzy had never had many she felt were true friends. She got on all right with several groups of people, but never felt like they really knew much about her. They shared some common interests, perhaps, but she never felt like they knew the most important parts of her. In fact, the only one who really did, apart from her best friend whom she had met on the school exchange last year with Beauxbatons, was Luna, and Lizzy could never understand how she knew, since Lizzy had been less than friendly at first. Her cousin just seemed to…know things.
Just as Lizzy was opening her book to the marked spot, she heard voices in the corridor.
"Neville, what are you doing?" A familiar girl's voice asked.
"I was looking for a seat, but all the compartments are full."
"What? There's just Loony and Lizzy Lovegood in this one. Plenty of room!"
"I didn't want to disturb-"
"Nonsense," Ginny cut across him, tapping on the compartment door. "Hi girls, do you mind if we join you?" She asked brightly. Lizzy exchanged a look with Luna, who studied the newcomers. Lizzy vaguely noticed there was another person with them, but did not turn to see who it was as Luna nodded. Lizzy shrugged her acquiesance, scooting closer to the window to make room.
"You're Harry Potter," Lizzy heard Luna say, and looked up at the person who had just sat down beside her.
"I know I am," Potter replied, looking nonplussed.
Groaning internally, Lizzy attempted to keep her focus on her book.
"And I don't know who you are," Luna continued.
"I'm nobody," Neville said hastily.
"No you're not," Ginny and Lizzy chimed in together. Surprising everyone by her outburst, including herself, Lizzy quickly hid behind her book again. She could feel Potter's eyes on her and her face had started turning red.
"This is Neville Longbottom, Luna," said Ginny. "Luna's in my year, but in Ravenclaw," she explained to the boys. "And Lizzy is her cousin. She lives with Luna and her father. I think she's in your year, though." Potter looked at her again, dawning comprehension on his face.
"Hey, I remember you," he said suddenly. "You were that girl I met at the wand shop." Lizzy's face reddened further under his gaze. "And you also saved me from that attendant at the train station. Thanks for that, by the way."
"Yep, that would be me," she replied awkwardly, playing nervously with her wand in one hand and the corner of the page of her book with the other. There was silence for a time as nobody could think of anything to say. Ginny giggled for a moment, and Lizzy took the opportunity to return to the development of the Memory Charm.
"Hey Harry, do you want to see what Gran got me for my birthday? Here, hold Trevor." Neville asked after a while. Lizzy peeked up over the top of her book to see the plump Gryffindor removing a weird-looking cactus from his bag. "It's a Mimbulous mimbletonia," Neville said proudly, holding it up. "It's really rare."
"Does it…do anything?" Harry asked curiously, clutching a squirming toad.
"Oh, yeah, loads of stuff," Neville answered enthusiastically. "It has this great defense mechanism, watch!" Neville took out a quill, pointing it at the cactus.
"No, don't!" Lizzy cried, just as Neville gave the cactus a sharp prod with the point of the quill. "Protego!"
At the very last second, a shield stood between Neville's cactus-plant and Harry and Lizzy on the other side as a rancid-smelling substance shot all over the compartment. Neville was covered in the stuff, his face and chest soaked. Ginny had been able to cover her face just in time, and Luna's magazine was splattered with it. Only Harry and Lizzy were clean, along with Ms. Twinklepaws and Trevor the toad.
"S-sorry," Neville spluttered as Lizzy lowered her shield. The brunette girl sighed, running a hand through her thick hair.
"I did try to warn you," she remarked, crossing her arms. "Madame Sprout told us about these once. It's really hard to get the smell out-"
"Um…hi, Harry. Bad time?" A voice from the doorway asked nervously. Lizzy looked up and recognized Cho Chang from her house in the year above her. She also noticed that Harry's face had gone slightly slack.
"Um…hi," he said awkwardly, still attempting to keep a hold on Neville's struggling toad.
Cho glanced around at the rest of the group, then turned. "Well…I'll see you around then, Harry," she said with a slight wave and removed herself from the compartment. Harry flopped back into his seat and groaned.
"Scourgify," Lizzy said quickly, but true to her word, the smell of rancid manure still lingered faintly. Lizzy looked over to Harry.
"Look on the bright side," she said optimistically. "At least you don't smell like the Stinksap."
Harry facepalmed.
After the return of Weasley and Granger from the prefects meeting and a run-in with Malfoy and his goons (an experience Lizzy hoped never to repeat), the train finally pulled into the Hogsmeade station. The students made their way into the carriages and up to the castle, where the sorting made waves with the Sorting Hat's new song. Then Madame Umbridge was introduced as the new Defense teacher, and interrupted Headmaster Dumbledore during the announcements. Lizzy wasn't sure what to think. It seemed that most people in the Wizarding World had profound respect for Dumbledore- or at least, they had before this past summer. That someone would dare interrupt him wasn't a good sign- at all.
Then came the woman's speech, which was, if anything, the driest thing she'd ever heard. But it was plain that the Minister had sent this lady to interfere in their learning process. Over at the Gryffindor table, she could see Granger sitting next to Harry with a narrowed gaze on the new Professor. Well, that certainly settled it; if Granger was worried, something definitely wasn't right.
In the days that followed, it soon became clear that Umbridge's orders included making sure that students were not taught spells that were considered, "dangerous," and that if one studied the theory, they should be able to perform the spells for their exams at the end of the year. Lizzy, as one who excelled at theory but struggled with practical knowledge, knew that this was a lot of BS. To make matters worse, there were rumors that Potter had gotten detention in his first class with the woman for suggesting that the spells would be needed to defend themselves and not just for exams.
Right then, Lizzy made up her mind to keep her head down in class, but do what she needed to do to get Outstandings on her OWL's. She would practice in the dorms, in the Common Room, on the grounds- anywhere she could in order to ensure that she would pass with flying colors.
And so the school year plodded slowly on, with Lizzy doing everything in her power to pass. As the first weekend in October neared though, she felt that something was stirring. Even Luna seemed excited.
"Luna, what's going on?" Lizzy asked finally as Luna danced around getting ready for the Hogsmeade weekend. Lizzy tended to get up early, so she was waiting for her cousin to find her boots and jacket. "Do you…have a date or something?"
Luna turned her enormous eyes on the brunette and stared at her intently. Then she let out a peal of laughter.
"No, silly," Luna replied, "I'm just going to a club meeting. Going to see what all the fuss is about." Lizzy looked at the blonde quizzically. Luna tilted her head to the side, as though thinking about something. "Why don't you come with me?" She asked suddenly. "It might be fun!" Lizzy raised an eyebrow, then sighed, rolling her eyes.
"Fine," she relented. "Just as long as we have time to stop by the book shop afterwards."
The two girls traipsed down to the village, Lizzy not really noticing where they were headed until they were well outside the normal tourist-y spots favored by students.
"Luna," she asked nervously as they stopped in front of a run-down-looking pub called, "The Hog's Head", "are we even allowed to be here?" Luna shrugged.
"No rules against it, I checked last night." Lizzy dug in her heels and crossed her arms as Luna attempted to steer her inside.
"You're absolutely certain we're not going to get detention?" The blonde shook her head.
"Not if the teachers follow their own rules, we won't." Lizzy rolled her eyes.
"I'm very reassured now," she said dryly, but followed her cousin inside anyway.
The atmosphere in the pub was dank and gloomy, but Lizzy noticed that Potter, Weasley, and Granger were already there, as were several other people. Luna floated to a seat next to Ginny Weasley, and Lizzy copied her, taking the extremely dusty Butterbeer that was handed to her. She sipped her drink as others filed in around them, and after several minutes, the meeting was underway.
It turned out that the meeting was actually some sort of rebellion against Umbridge's teaching tactics. Lizzy was no stranger to subpar teachers; the past several years had been full of them, not to mention Professor Snape's boarding-on-abusive teaching methods. However, she now had the opportunity to hear about Potter's escapades first-hand; a good share of the rumors were actually true, something she had not expected.
"So…what do you all think?" Granger was asking. "Can we make this work?"
"We have to make sure it doesn't conflict with Quidditch," said one person.
"Or Charms Club," said someone else.
"Or Gobstones," chimed a third. Granger sighed, and looked to Harry for support. He just shrugged back helplessly.
"Don't you all get it?" Weasley interjected suddenly. "This is more important than Charms, or Gobstones, or exams, or, dare I say it, even Quidditch!" The redhead was suddenly on his feet, pacing the room like a caged tiger. "This is about our safety, and the safety of our friends and family! It's about fighting for our rights, and the Wizarding World! If You-Know-Who is back, do you really think any of those other things are going to matter?" Lizzy squirmed uncomfortably as Weasley continued. "Harry's already told us that Cedric Diggory was killed on the spot, just for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Do you think just because you study hard or play Quidditch he'll leave you alone?" He shook his head. "We have to be prepared to fight. We have to be able to protect ourselves and our families! If we don't fight…who else will?"
The silence was so thick, Lizzy could have heard a pin drop. Finally, she spoke up for the first time.
"We'd better make sure Umbridge doesn't hear about this," she said heavily. "She'll have all our heads in a heartbeat if she does." Granger stepped forward, seemingly glad she didn't have to be the one to bring this up.
"Of course not," she replied. "Each of us who has been here today will sign this parchment," she brandished a parchment roll and quill, "as an agreement to keep our plans from Umbridge and her minions, and agreeing to let Harry teach us."
For a moment, nobody moved. Then Neville stood from the back, becoming the first to sign his name.
"Harry's probably the most experienced person here," he said, and Lizzy was surprised to hear how confident he sounded. "If there's a way to help, it's standing with Harry."
One by one, others filed forward to sign the parchment. Lizzy looked at it skeptically. From what she'd observed about Granger, she wasn't the type to be careless and leave important things lying around. Actually, now that she thought about it, Granger had probably put a hex on that parchment somehow to ensure everyone kept their word. However, if she herself was found practicing with this group…she didn't really want to think about it.
Stepping up beside Potter in the chaos, she looked at him sideways and asked quietly, "Are you sure this is a good idea? What if we get caught?"
Potter shrugged. "Better to be expelled than helpless, I guess," he replied evenly, putting things in perspective. Lizzy mulled this over. It was true; she'd rather have a couple of skills than be completely at any Dark Wizard's mercy, since they had no mercy to speak of. Then she caught hold of a thought from the earlier discussion.
"Will we…will we be able to learn the Patronus Charm?" She asked hesitantly. "Bones said you could do one." Potter studied her for a moment, then nodded warily.
"We'll probably have to start smaller though," he warned. "The Patronus Charm is pretty high-level magic. Most adults can't pull it off. But it will likely be important to know, so… yes. Tentatively." Lizzy nodded, took a breath to steady herself, then stepped forward to sign the parchment with, "Dumbledore's Army," scrawled across the top. No going back now.
The meeting wrapped up without much more fanfare and everyone dispersed. Lizzy silently followed Luna back up toward the castle, not even protesting as they passed by the bookshop without a second glance. She was lost in thought, hoping she had not just made a serious mistake.
On the one hand, it would be really terrible for all of them if Umbridge caught wind of this. Merlin knew, she was looking for excuses to make their lives miserable this year. On the other hand, what Potter and Weasley had said was true- not being able to fight if it was needed spelled 'death' for anyone with the misfortune to be in that situation. And she really would have appreciated knowing the Patronus Charm during third year…
Third year was shaping up to be uncommonly difficult for Lizzy. The addition of a couple extra classes, along with the increased homework, was leading the young Ravenclaw to feel stressed and overwhelmed. Not to mention that, since their arrival on the train, a cloud of gray gloom and fear seemed to hang over everything. She wasn't exactly sure why it was like this- she couldn't remember ever feeling like this before.
"The wrackspurts are thick again," was all Luna would say to her when they would talk. Lizzy would roll her eyes at her cousin's cryptic remarks and return to her homework, hoping that keeping busy would help. It did, for a time, but the problem was when the homework was done and her thoughts were free to wander. Even Ms. Twinklekins couldn't fight off the gloom that settled over her this year.
There were rumors here and there that Potter had struggled with the appearance of dementors at one of the Quidditch matches, diving headfirst toward the ground from a height of fifty feet or more by accident after passing out from their effects. Lizzy had avoided that match, much like all the other matches. The weather had been terrible anyway, she'd reasoned. Why go out there and get soaked? But she remembered hearing about it and connecting an uncomfortable wave of cold that had washed over her, even inside the castle as those events took place.
One evening, as she was walking back to Ravenclaw Tower from the library, she noted she was not alone in the corridor.
"Think of something happy," a voice was muttering as a boy with messy black hair made his way up the stairs ahead of her. "Expecto Patronum!" A silvery vapor shield began to blossom from his wand. Instantly, the gloom dissipated somewhat, and Lizzy stood, staring, with her mouth wide open in wonder. What kind of a spell could do that? It certainly wasn't a Cheering Charm; Professor Flitwick had said the magic for those was a sunshine yellow.
By the time she had stopped gaping, the boy was gone, but the gloomy feeling had not yet returned in full force. By the time she had answered the riddle and thrown herself through the door to the Ravenclaw Common Room, she was fully immersed in the mystery of this spell.
"Lizzy," Luna commented as her cousin sank into a blue armchair next to her, "your wrackspurts are looking better somehow. The black ones are all normal-colored again." Lizzy nodded distractedly.
"Luna, what spells can fix your moods?" She asked quietly. Luna tilted her head to the side curiously.
"I only know of Cheering Charms," she said vaguely. Lizzy shook her head.
"This spell was silver," she said. "A silver shield. And the incantation was something like, 'Expect Patronium'."
Before Lizzy could stop her, Luna was on her feet, making her way over to a group of older students. "Excuse me," she smiled dreamily, "have any of you heard of a spell with the incantation, 'Expect Patronium'?"
"Expecto Patronum," one of the sixth-year prefects corrected her. "Professor Lupin began teaching it to us in NEWT Defense last week after Potter's run-in with the Dementors during the Gryffindor-Hufflepuff match. Bloody tricky spell, if you ask me, that Patronus Charm."
"Yeah," chimed in another. "Only two of us got more than silver mist, even after three lessons!"
Luna smiled again. "Thank you," she replied, then floated back to her seat with Lizzy watching in a mix of awe and horror.
"How…did you do that?" She asked, shaking her head. Luna shrugged.
"Your spell is called the Patronus Charm," she answered, ignoring Lizzy's question. "You're welcome."
In the days that followed, Lizzy had scoured all the books in the library for references to the Patronus Charm. She had learned that the older students had indeed been correct when they said that it was difficult. Lizzy did her best to teach herself the charm, but to no avail. The best she was able to achieve was some slight amount of silver vapor, not even enough to form a shield with. Finally, coming to the conclusion that she wasn't likely to learn it as a third year anyway when most adult witches and wizards couldn't achieve the full end result, she set it aside, hoping that, one day, she would have the skill to learn it.
"Hey, wait!" A voice sounded from behind her, breaking her out of her thoughts. She turned to see Harry Potter sprinting toward her, with Granger and Ron Weasley following at a more dignified pace. She noted that Weasley looked disgruntled, but kept his mouth shut.
"Out of curiosity," Potter asked, his green eyes piercing to her very soul, "How come you are so interested in the Patronus Charm? Just…not many people have heard of it." He looked sort of…hopeful. Lizzy shrugged uncomfortably.
"Just…wanted an extra challenge," she replied, hoping he wouldn't ask anymore. The light in his eyes dimmed.
"Oh," he responded. "Right." He fell back in step with his friends, and Lizzy resumed her trek up to the castle.
"Harry has the black wrackspurts, too," Luna suddenly said softly. Lizzy looked up at her cousin in surprise, almost having forgotten she was there.
"Wh-what?" She stammered stupidly. Luna nodded, as though understanding that Lizzy had not been asking her to repeat herself.
"Ever since the summer," she explained. "They were especially thick when he came back from the Triwizard Maze, but they've never fully dissipated, even now."
Lizzy stared straight ahead, not sure what to make of this information. She had never imagined that someone else struggled as she had been.
"Anybody else?" She asked finally, looking sideways at the blonde, who shook her head.
"Not that I've noticed," Luna answered seriously. Lizzy studied her cousin, who was looking more intense and focused than Lizzy ever remembered seeing her. Her brow was furrowed, and she looked as though she were trying to put pieces together that didn't quite match up. Lizzy wasn't sure she wanted to know what was going on in her cousin's head, or if it was a good or bad thing that Harry Potter was somehow mixed up in all this. Choosing to let it go for the moment, she continued her way back to the castle, resolving not to say anything to Potter. It wasn't like he needed more reasons to think she was loony, after all.
To Lizzy's surprise, the addition of the DA to her schedule seemed to have brightened her time at school considerably. As Luna had put it, it was like having friends. They moved quickly through basic spells, partnered up to duel or practice a particular spell, Granger made sure they moved through everything that was on the OWL practice guides, and Harry himself looked like he was having the time of his life teaching the lessons.
Sometime after the Yule break, they finally got started on the Patronus Charm. Lizzy practiced hard, often staying behind to practice. She steadily began to see progress, from thin wisps of silver smoke, to a silver vapor shield like she'd seen the boy in hallway produce. She had a hard time moving past that point, feeling like her happiest memories mostly had to do with her cat or reading books or, sometimes, old memories of her family from when she was young. These last, however, were somewhat colored by sadness because of their separation, making them weaker than was needed.
Finally, on a stormy day in April, her mind caught hold of a memory of sharing a laugh with Luna one day, feeling like it was good to have a sister. They had been picking dirigible plums, watching Ms. Twinklepaws pouncing on the floating fruits.
"Expecto Patronum!" She cast. Instantly, a silver shape erupted from her wand- a long-haired Siberian cat who looked highly reminiscent of Ms. Twinklekins leaped into the air and stalked about the room, playfully pouncing on Luna's bouncing hare and rubbing against Harry's shin happily before jumping into Lizzy's arms. Harry stared at Lizzy in surprise, then grinned happily.
"Well done!" He exclaimed, and Lizzy blushed at his attention, the silver cat dissipating. She was just getting her wand out to try again when the door slammed, startling her. A strange creature that Lizzy knew from study to be a house elf appeared, panting and wheezing as he tried to tell Harry something. From the looks of it, it probably wasn't good.
"Harry Potter sir, she- she…" the elf bonked himself over the head with a tiny fist, and Harry hurried to restrain him.
"Dobby, who is she?" Harry asked urgently. "Umbridge?" The elf nodded, still struggling to punish himself. "Has she found out about this? About the DA?" The little creature nodded again. "She's coming?"
"Yes, Harry Potter! Yes!" The elf wailed in anguish. Harry let go of the struggling elf, turning to the gathered students, who were all staring in horror.
"What are you all waiting for?!" Harry cried. "RUN!"
Lizzy didn't need telling twice. Snatching Luna by the arm, she made a beeline for the door of the Room of Requirement, making for an empty classroom nearby she'd used a few times for studying. "Silencio!" She quickly cast on Luna, then on herself. Then she rapped both of them over the head with a Disillusionment Charm, and they disappeared into a corner to blend in with the shadows, praying that Umbridge and her Inquisitorial Squad would not find them.
"This way!" A gruff voice was saying from the corridor. A moment later, two Slytherins Lizzy thought were called Crabbe and Goyle poked their heads inside, and, seeing no one, withdrew. Lizzy relaxed slightly. Lucky for them, Crabbe and Goyle were notorious for being extremely stupid. They did not move, however, until all sounds of running and searching had died away.
Cancelling the spells on the two of them, a very serious-looking Luna followed Lizzy back to Ravenclaw Tower to find the rest of the Ravenclaws from the DA gathered near a fireplace.
"Did everyone get back alright?" Lizzy asked, looking around and trying to pinpoint if anyone was missing.
"Marietta," Cho Chang spoke up. "But…I don't remember seeing her at the meeting tonight, either. Maybe she's just in the library?"
"Terry and Lisa are missing, too," Michael Corner added. He snorted. "Maybe they're just taking advantage of the chaos to snog behind some tapestry somewhere."
Just then, the missing two in question stumbled through the door, both looking a bit disheveled. The assembled students smirked at each other; Michael's guess seemed to have been correct. Cho, however, was still looking worried.
"Marietta is still missing though," she reminded them, tugging at her long dark hair. The rest of them shrugged.
"If she wasn't at the meeting, she should be safe enough, right?" Lizzy offered.
"Unless Malfoy or one of the other brownnoses got their hands on our registry," Michael Corner muttered. Everyone's faces fell at this; in the commotion, no one had thought to grab the parchment they had all signed. Knowing Harry, he probably hadn't thought of it, either, Lizzy supposed.
Slowly, they all retrieved books and homework, sitting together in a small group as they awaited Marietta's return. However, it was still some time before Marietta appeared, escorted by none other than Professor McGonagall. The girl's face was mostly hidden by her robes, her eyes barely peeking out. McGonagall noted Cho leaping to her feet and shook her head.
"Ask her nothing until tomorrow, Miss Chang, if you please," she commanded. Cho nodded and backed away, allowing her friend to ascend to the dormitories unimpeded.
It wasn't until the next day when Lizzy found out the whole story; Marietta had turned them in to Umbridge, and somehow or other, Dumbledore had been sacked, Harry had been caught and let off, and Umbridge was now the Headmistress. Marietta hadn't gotten away unscathed, though. As Lizzy had suspected, Granger had taken it upon herself to ensure they knew who the culprit was; in large, purple pimples across Marietta's cheeks, the word, "SNEAK" was spelled across the bridge of her nose. Lizzy couldn't help but smirk. Served her right. However, she wasn't smirking when every single person whose name was on the list was given several detentions with Umbridge and her blood quills.
Lizzy couldn't help but regret her involvement now. She had known it was a risk, but now it seemed that it had been a terrible idea to throw her lot in with Harry and his friends. She wasn't a risk-taking Gryffindor! She prided herself on thinking things through, on playing it safe, and not making decisions that would likely have negative consequences. Her aching hand, which was now carved with the bloody words, "I will respect authority," was proof of the stupidity of her choices. Even the fact she had successfully done a Patronus wasn't enough to override this. She'd put herself on Umbridge's, "watch carefully," list. Right then and there, she promised herself that she was done making these kinds of decisions. Smart people avoided getting into trouble, she told herself.
Two years later
Lizzy stared out the window of her childhood home at the gray day dawning. She could hear the sounds of her family getting ready for the day ahead- her mother getting breakfast ready, her father showering and getting ready for work, her brothers and younger sister getting ready for school. And yet, she stayed in her room, attempting to keep up with the home-study program Professor McGonagall had given her during that summer after Dumbledore's passing, with instructions that she should move back home to her parents' house and go into hiding. The Professors had helped her put a Fidelius Charm on her family home, keeping them from the clutches of the Death Eaters. Lizzy gloomily stroked her cat, remembering how her father had protested her return and the placing of the charm on their house.
"But she's not fully trained," he had said. "And we don't have any contact with your world. Why would the bad guys come after us?" Lizzy sighed inwardly as McGonagall explained yet again, this time with less patience. The older witch's mouth had become a very thin line indeed.
"Miss Lovegood has enough training that accidental magic is no longer a problem, as I have already said," she reminded. "As for the Death Eaters, they will pursue your family because Miss Lovegood herself is the embodiment of evidence that their agenda has no basis. In other words, people who are, 'Muggleborn,' are actually family of old magical lines that have, somehow or other, become lost when their family produced a squib. They have not, as they put it, 'stolen their magic from deserving witches and wizards'."
Her father was still not fully satisfied with these answers, but any further arguments would betray his ignorance, so he kept silent. Lizzy pretended not to notice the stares of her father and siblings when she would inevitably join the family for meals or emerge from her room to shower or help with chores.
She had been warned by her parents to keep her magic to a minimum. Even though the Fidelius Charm made her location Unplottable, her father in particular was not convinced that it would be safe. So she practiced her magic alone in her room for an hour a day (this was the compromise they had finally reached) and spent the rest reading and re-reading books; textbooks, novels, legends…anything she could get her hands on to keep her mind busy.
The truth was, she hated being back here. As much as she had loathed being sent to live with Luna and her father back then, it was infinitely preferable to being treated like a criminal in her own home for who she was and what she could do. Her father was still terrified she would set the house alight again, even though she had gotten a handle on her magic. She felt like doing magic in front of him would cause a huge confrontation that she didn't really feel like having. Her mother, though she understood how this felt, having grown up in much the opposite environment, did little to alleviate the situation.
She sighed, stroking Ms. Twinklekins' soft fur as her mind wandered. She wondered how Luna was doing. There had been no news from her cousin since she had moved back home with her parents, Professor McGonagall warning that it was too dangerous to send owls as they might be intercepted. Being a child of a squib, Lizzy was already in danger; being the cousin of one of Harry Potter's friends made her more of a target. Luna was likely being watched, if not forcibly subdued. But she had no way of knowing if Luna and Uncle Xeno were alive, captured, or dead. So, she did her best not to think about it, knowing the wrackspurts would capitalize on her negative thoughts.
Truthfully, the only magic she really attempted to practice was her Patronus. Being without her regular goals and company, as well as in a place that was so oppressive made it so she relied on her Patronus to keep the wrackspurts from completely taking over, and even then, sometimes they did anyway. But she found it was difficult to fully form her Patronus when her main memories she normally used were so overtaken with fear, sadness, and anxiety. Often, all she got was the silver vapor shield. Unfortunately, the vapor shield didn't seem to be as effective anymore either.
Her day plodded along slowly, as most days seemed to do lately. She read a book, took a shower, fed the cat, practiced her magic, read another book, played a computer game while everyone else was out, fixed dinner, ate quickly and returned to her room.
Just as she was getting back to her room, a Patronus in the shape of a hare appeared in her room, speaking in Luna's voice.
"Harry is at Hogwarts. Voldemort is laying siege to the castle. Come and fight!"
Lizzy stared as the silver hare disappeared. This was probably it, the battle that decided it all. If Voldemort won, she and her family would likely have to move to Australia or America- somewhere they wouldn't look for her. Maybe if Harry's side won, things could go back to normal- Lizzy could finish her education, go back to being a witch without fear, move back in with Luna and her father.
If she went to fight….well, there was no telling what might happen. Luna might be killed. Lizzy herself might be killed. If she wasn't killed, what would happen if she went to fight and You-Know-Who won the day? She would likely be killed then, captured, tortured, forced to give up her family…there really was no telling what the end results would be. There probably wouldn't be a chance for her family to move to Australia if she went to fight and the Dark won, now that she thought about it.
All things considered, maybe it would just be best to stay here. Just the thought of fighting a battle, especially after not really having practiced magic for most of a year, sounded like a death sentence. But if she went, maybe she could help. Maybe a few less people would die. Maybe Luna would still be alive at the end of the day.
Lizzy paced her room in agitation. Ms. Twinklekins seemed to sense her distress, but instead of helping, the cat seemed to mirror her emotions, heightening them.
You're a coward, the wrackspurts began to whisper. Your friends are risking everything and you're just sitting here, hiding away.
I'm not, Lizzy argued back weakly. I'm just…doing the smart thing.
But you don't really believe that, do you? The wrackspurts sniggered in her mind. You should be out there, doing your part. But you can't. Because you're a failure. A danger. A liability.
At these words, a scene began to play in her mind, one she had tried hard to forget for four years.
"We're doing boggarts today," Professor Lupin announced with a flourish, leading the Ravenclaws into the staff room. "Now, to defeat a boggart, the key is….?"
"Laughter," Terry Boot supplied helpfully. Professor Lupin nodded.
"Exactly. Focus your mind on something that makes your fear seem amusing and say the incantation. Ridikulus!"
The class repeated the word. Then Professor Lupin released the boggart from the wardrobe, and it immediately turned into a very large snake. Lizzy wondered what the boggart would appear as for her. So far, the most frightening thing she'd seen in the Wizarding World had been the dementor that had searched the train for Sirius Black. She would hope it would turn into a flea. Then she'd put the flea in a box…and smash it with a hammer. That should do, she told herself, satisfied.
After Terry Boot, Padma Patil, Lisa Turpin, and Michael Corner had all had their turn, Lupin cried, "Miss Lovegood! Forward!"
Lizzy stepped up, but to her horror, the boggart did not turn into a dementor. It didn't turn into a bug either, and she really didn't like those. No, the face staring back at her was that of her own father.
"Elizabeth," it said to her. "You are a disgrace."
"No," she gasped, taking an involuntary step back. She'd forgotten there were others in the room.
"Yes," it replied, glowering back at her. "No child of mine will ever be a witch! You brought danger to our family. You tried to murder us in our beds!"
"No! No, I didn't!" She cried, covering her face with her hands. "It was an accident!"
"You have to leave now," the thing said to her, pointing a finger into her face. "Having you around is just too much of a liability."
By now, Lizzy was sobbing silently on the floor, hiding her face in her hands. A sharp, stinging pain flashed across her shoulder. She gasped, pressing a hand to the spot. Her fingers came away sticky with blood.
"Here!" Lupin shouted, stepping forward. The boggart suddenly shifted into a silvery orb, which became a balloon, which wizzed back into the wardrobe. There was silence in the room.
"The lesson ends here for today," Lupin said heavily. "Dismissed."
Lizzy barely noticed the others filing out.
Back in her room, Lizzy was curled up in the corner, shaking and sobbing as the wrackspurts continued to whisper their vicious words into her mind. A sharp pain cut across her upper arm. Eventually, she fell asleep, gratefully shutting out the wrackspurts for a while.
Sometime later, she awoke. It was probably ten in the morning; she had slept the rest of the night, and into the morning, something that was nearly unheard of for her. All at once, she noticed what had woken her- a silver hare was leaping around her room chanting her name.
"Lizzy, Voldemort is dead!" It said in Luna's voice, sounding more excited and relieved than Lizzy had ever heard her. "Harry won! We won, Lizzy!"
Lizzy sighed in relief. Luna was alive. Harry was alive. Voldemort was gone. She was safe. Her family was safe. And somehow, it didn't sound like Luna hated her for not coming to fight. She sighed again, moving to her bed and curling up again. There would be time to sort out all the things later. But now, even though she'd slept for so long…she was still so tired.
In the next few weeks that followed, Lizzy made some drastic changes. She enrolled at Hogwarts for her last year of schooling, moved out of her parents' house and back to the rook house, where she set about helping Luna and Uncle Xeno recover from the past year's ordeal. Both looked like they'd lost a lot of weight, and Luna had cuts and scratches on her face and arms from the battle. Uncle Xeno seemed reluctant to let Luna out of his sight, which was understandable when Luna revealed that she had spent much of the previous few months as a prisoner of Malfoy Manor with Uncle Xeno not knowing if she was alive or dead.
It was soon apparent that the Wizarding World Lizzy had known before the reign of Voldemort and his minions was not the same one that existed now. Hogwarts had been nearly demolished in the battle, Luna reported, and several people had died, including Fred Weasley, Lavender Brown, and Collin Creevey, who had been in the DA with them, and Professors Snape and Lupin.
This last had hit Lizzy particularly hard, especially considering her recent revisitation of her incident with the boggart in third year. As she pondered on the man's passing, she could not help but be overcome as she remembered the aftermath of that moment.
"Miss Lovegood," a soft voice spoke from next to her. Lizzy was dimly aware that the other students had, mercifully, left the room, and that she was alone with the Professor. Her shoulder hurt terribly. Nevertheless, she did not look up, keeping her face buried in her knees. She was embarrassed that she had broken down like that in front of the whole class, and hoped maybe Professor Lupin would leave her alone in order for her to regain control of herself and pretend like nothing happened. It was then that she felt someone take her by the elbow and guide her to stand, letting her know that the Professor would be doing no such thing.
"Come," he said softly. "I'll make you a cup of tea."
Lizzy couldn't find a polite way to protest, so she shuffled after Lupin back to his office where she sat down heavily in the chair across from his desk. She could feel his eyes on her, and she wished he would not study her like that. It was obvious she was not ok; did he have to make it more embarrassing than it was already?
"Lizzy," he began hesitantly, causing her to look at him through red eyes as he pushed a hot cup of tea into her hands. She took it carefully. "I…I would like to tell you a story." He re-took his seat, folding his hands tightly on the desktop.
"I once knew a boy who had an unfortunate run-in with a werewolf at the age of five, changing his life forever. After the attack, every month on the full moon, he had to endure a painful transformation. During this time, he had no human reasoning or knowledge; he was a danger to himself, his friends and his family.
"As a child…he may have gotten many of the same messages from his own father as you seem to have gotten from yours. He was a danger, a liability. He might murder his family in their beds." Lizzy winced as the words echoed back at her a second time. "He would have been disowned, if not for his mother."
Lizzy sipped her tea in the silence.
"What happened to that boy?" She asked finally, jolting the professor out of his thoughts. Lupin sighed.
"He made some very kind friends at school who took him under their wings. And he was happy, even in spite of the things that had happened to him." Lupin looked at her meaningfully. "Your father is wrong, Lizzy," he said firmly, meeting her eyes. His amber ones seemed to be filled with fire. "Being a witch does not automatically make you a danger or evil. Your choices determine who you become."
Lizzy's face softened a fraction.
"Thank you, Professor," she said softly, placing the teacup on the desk. Lupin smirked a little at her obvious dismissal of herself.
"You may go," he said with a hint of humor, waving a hand at her in a shooing motion. Lizzy quickly got up from her chair and exited the room. But she would always be grateful for Lupin's intervention that day.
Lizzy sighed, wiping at her eyes as the memory came to an end. Truthfully, her father had never actually said she was dangerous. It was more the feeling she got when he looked at her, like she had done something unspeakably bad. She remembered overhearing her parents arguing about what to do after she had first shown signs of magic and knew her father was afraid of the concept of magic, of what she was capable of. The slicing pain came again, cutting across her back. She barely noticed though. It was much more common these days.
Professor Lupin, though he hadn't completely been able to overcome her thoughts, had reached out to her to share what she was sure now was his own story, having heard the rumors at the end of third year that Lupin was a werewolf himself. She admired the man for that, and was quite sad that he had not had the chance to live to an old age and teach for many more years. He, more than most, deserved true happiness.