Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.
"You know what, Ron?" Harry said. "I've been thinking; it's about time the two of us changed our images!"
"Why should we do that?" Ron asked. "Everyone knows you're the famous Harry Potter with your lightning bolt-shaped scar - and that I'm your best friend, Ron Weasley - with my red hair."
"I'm not talking about talker what's on our heads," Harry explained. "I'm talking about altering what's on our faces."
"You mean…" Ron blinked, understanding. "You think we should go facial hair?"
"Why not? We are young wizards growing up here in Hogwarts. It's about time we used our magic to make ourselves look like the mature young men we're becoming."
"That's not a bad idea." Ron rubbed his chin, liking the idea of having facial hair there. "They say girls dig a man with a beard! Think how many I'd have swooning all over me if I had one! That would make Hermione so jealous!"
"Alright then!" Harry grinned. "Let's do it!"
The two boys lifted themselves out of their chairs. They stood together in front of the fireplace of the Gryffindor Common Room. Their hands dove into the pockets, pulling out their wands which they pointed towards themselves.
"ACCIO BEARDS!"
As soon as the pair shouted the summoning charm, the lower halves of their faces began to glow. They smiled at the thought of facial hair beginning to grow on them. No longer would they look like a pair of scrawny little kids. They were about to become a pair of fine young men.
As soon as their faces stopped glowing, Harry reached up to touch his own. He could certainly feel hair there - a lot more than he was expecting. He glanced at the nearby mirror in the common room to see what he looked like.
The boy wizard gave a startled jump when he saw his near appearance.
"Whoa!"
The beard Harry had given himself made him jump with surprise. It was black and shaggy - as well as in a dangled mess. The boy could see any of his face behind all the hair he had there, no longer able to recognise himself.
"This certainly ain't what I had in mind!" He exclaimed. "This beard is a lot bigger than I expected!"
"That's nothing compared to mine, Harry! At least yours goes with your hair! Just look at mine!"
Hearing Ron's complaining, Harry turned to take in his new facial hair - and his eyes widened in shock behind his glasses at the sight of his best friend.
Ron's beard was extremely long. It hung all the way down in front of his body to curl around the floor. Its white colour clashed with his red hair. With how lengthy at white it was, it made the young boy look like an old man.
"Look at me, Harry!" Ron cried, dismayed. "There's no way girls are gonna swoon for me looking like this!"
"Don't tell me you two are discussing ways to woo girls again!"
Harry and Ron tensed up as Hermione's voice filled the common room. They could tell the witch they always hung out with were right behind them. They subtly exchanged nervous looks behind their facial hair. Neither were looking forward to seeing the girl's reaction to their bizarre beards.
"Well?" Hermione said impatiently. "What scheme have you two come up with now?"
Slowly, the boys turned around, revealing their hairy faces to the young girl - causing her stern gaze to wash away at the altered sight of the pair.
"Hey…" Harry smiled meekly behind his shaggy black beard. "What d'you think of our new looks, Hermione?"
"Are you impressed?" Ron asked hopefully as he stroked his long white beard. "Would you go out with a man with facial hair like this?"
"Er… I… Uh…"
For once, Hermione could not get a single sentence out. She could only stutter upon seeing what had happened to her two allies. The sight of Harry and Ron with ridiculous beards was too much for her. The muggle-norm's legs buckled and gave beneath her as she collapsed to the floor, filling the common room with a loud thud as she fainted.
"Well…" Harry muttered as he stared at the fallen witch. "There's your answer, Ron…"
"I hope she comes around soon," Ron said, running to Hermione's side and trying to shake her awake. "We need her to get us back to normal!"
"That won't be necessary…"
"What d'you mean?" Ron stared up at Harry with a puzzled frown. Hermione's the only one of us smart enough to know how to get rid of these beards! I have no clue how to use a muggle shaver!"
"You won't have to." Harry nodded down towards the floor. "Your beard's already being taken care of."
Ron gazed towards where Harry had directed his attention towards - before letting off a shocked gasp when he saw what was happening.
Having been laying on the floor so close to the fireplace, the redhead's long white beard had caught a spark - which was enough to set it alight. Golden flames were engulfing it, smouldering it up into tiny black ashes.
With the beard still attached to his face, Ron yelped in alarm and began to quickly stamp on the flames, trying to put them out before they devoured him up too.
Harry could only shake his head with a sigh as he watched his best friend who's white beard was burning up. The famous wizard rubbed his own black one, thoughtfully observing through his glasses.
"How in the Wizarding World did we end up with these beards?" he wondered.
"Blimey! Wha's gone an' 'appended ter me bloomin' beard?"
Hagrid's face was filled with shock - and without a single stand of hair. His large hands ran over his shocked gaze, which was clearly visible without his shaggy black beard in the way. He had no idea how it had just disappeared from him a minute ago, let alone that it had been taken from him by the very who he had rescued from the muggles and introduced to the Wizarding World.
"Someone mus' 'ave spiked me pint! I'll ne'er drink again!" Hagrid declared - as he poured down his throat what was his sixth pint of the day. With no beard to get caught in, every drop of his intoxicating beverage passed through his lips easily.
"WHERE'S MY BEARD?!"
All the intense rage Dumbledore was feeling was clear without his beard in the way. The powerful elderly wizard was furious that all his white facial hair had disappeared. He was completely unrecognisable without his beard. It was what helped people instantly recognise him when he was out and about.
"IT TOOK ME YEARS TO GROW THER BEARD!" he roared. "SO MUCH OF MT MANY YEARS HAVE BEEN DEDICATED TO NOT SHAVING! I'VE BEEN LETTING MY BEARD GROW SINCE I LEFT SCHOOL - AND NOW SOME LITTLE SWINE HAS STOLEN IT!"
Behind his half moon-shaped glasses, Dumbledore's eyes spelled with fury. He knew all too well that someone out there had his beloved beard on his face. The last person he expected it to be, however, was the most famous of the Hogwarts students' less popular best friend.
"WHO DID THIS TO ME?!" Dumbledore asked - not very calmly. "WHEN I FIND OUT WHO IT IS THAT HAS TAKEN MY BEARD FOR THEMSELVES, I SWEAR TO MERLIN, I'LL KILL HIM!"
The end.