Author's note: So I guess I'm finally uploading my Digimon stories to FFN! I know this sounds annoying, but I highly recommend you check out this fic on AO3 instead of here, as this story (and most of my other stories) is kind of unique. On AO3 it includes hundreds of "text box" images in place of the dialogue, including character facial expressions to go along with each piece of dialogue. FFN does not allow me to add images to my stories, so I had to leave the dialogue as "script format", which you will see when you start reading it.

What would my head be like, if not for my shoulders or without your smile?

September 22, 9:57 PM

Odaiba Business District

The first day of autumn didn't really feel all that autumn-like. The air was a sticky sort of warm that could only be associated with summer, and the trees lining the streets all still carried green leaves. The only indication that the seasons had changed was the darkness that crept up on them earlier and earlier every evening.

Takeru's feet carried him down the long stretches of sidewalk between the bar he'd just left and his apartment. The blond glanced at his watch— 9:57 PM. Every shop he passed was either closed or closing, and nobody but a handful of employees and business owners at the end of their shifts were out and about. Without anyone he cared about around to see him, Takeru was free to hang his head and look as glum as he felt. Though he'd have to make sure to reapply that smile once he got home to Patamon.

Tonight was one of the longest dates Takeru had ever been on. They'd gone shopping, then to a movie, then out to a bar. Everything had been going alright, until suddenly it wasn't. Until someone nearby said something that sounded like "Digimon", and Takeru's mind instinctively went to Patamon, and to the fact that he'd left his partner alone for far too long tonight. Takeru knew his companion hadn't wanted the night to end— and that was confirmed the moment Takeru abruptly stood up to leave, shock and hurt etched on his date's face.

But Takeru didn't want to be there anymore. He needed to escape. He started the trek back to his apartment at a brisk pace, heart still squeezing with guilt at how he'd left things. He told his date the truth— that his Digimon partner needed him. There had been a short argument, and an inevitable breakup. Or as much of a breakup as there could be, after only four dates with a person.

When the blond was about halfway home with only four more blocks until he reached his apartment complex, his pace slowed a bit. Takeru was starting to regret his decision to leave the date. Now that his mind was clearer, it seemed almost silly that he couldn't have stayed on that date for another hour. Or gone home with that person. He still had plenty of time left with Patamon after all— most of the markers on his Digivice were still intact.

TAKERU: ( So what am I supposed to do now? )

He felt guilty on the date for not seeing Patamon, and he'll most certainly feel guilty at home for being a dumbass and causing the end of something that could have been good for him.

TAKERU: ( Just where am I escaping to exactly? )

There was a nebulous, intangible third place that Takeru desperately needed sometimes. Someplace that wasn't outside or inside. A place that wasn't school or work or home or even bars and shops. Takeru enjoyed the company of people, but sometimes he wanted to be somewhere that didn't have so many of them. The Digital World briefly flashed through his mind, but then he remembered that they were avoiding it as much as possible.

Takeru stopped walking and pulled out his phone, texting the first person he could think of that might be around for him to visit.

[txt]TAKERU: Hikari? You awake?

It took ninety seconds for her to answer. Ninety long seconds of Takeru pacing anxiously back and forth in front of a dark, empty building. His heart leapt when he felt the phone buzz in his hand with a response.

[txt]HIKARI: I am but I'm watching TV at my parents' house. It's Dad's birthday

His heart sank. He wouldn't be able to visit her. It was a dumb idea anyway— 10 PM was way too late for that, even on a Saturday.

[txt]HIKARI: Are you okay?

[txt]TAKERU: Yeah, I'm fine. Just bored. Tell your dad I said happy birthday

[txt]HIKARI: He says thanks! I'll text you tomorrow and you can tell me all about how bored you were

[txt]TAKERU: You'll probably regret saying that

[txt]HIKARI:*gasp!* Never!

Takeru couldn't help but smile down at his phone before putting it away in his pocket. He was feeling a little better now, but not quite good enough to go back home to Patamon and crawl into bed. He needed something to do to take his mind off the date he just had.

On a whim, Takeru looked up at the sign on the restaurant he had randomly stopped in front of. "Ramen Yamatoya", it said. Ever since he moved to this part of town to be closer to his university, Takeru would pass by this place almost every day without a second thought.

He glanced at the "Closed" sign hanging on the door.

TAKERU: …

TAKERU: …!

Suddenly Ramen Yamatoya was ringing a bell. A memory from a few months ago came flooding to the front of his mind.

~flashback~

DAISUKE: The owner totally said I could have the place to myself when it closes!

IORI: To do what?

DAISUKE: To practice my cooking of course!

IORI: Wouldn't it be better to practice your cooking with people around so they can try it?

DAISUKE: That's where you guys come in!

KEN: Oh no. What are you involving us in? I'm going to need specifics.

DAISUKE: Dude, don't give me that look. I just need you to come visit when the restaurant is closed so you can try my recipes.

KEN: So we're your guinea pigs, essentially.

DAISUKE: Guinea pigs that get the special exclusive privilege of eating my ramen!

~end flashback~

They'd been here, at Ramen Yamatoya, when Daisuke told them they could visit after hours. At the time, they had been celebrating him becoming an apprentice at this very restaurant. Takeru stared curiously at the front of the establishment now. Dark curtains were pulled across the windows, so there was no way of knowing if Daisuke was actually inside. Takeru didn't know what urged him to do it— maybe it was that lingering restlessness— but he decided to knock on the heavy wooden front door.

September 22, 10:07 PM

Ramen Yamatoya

Daisuke turned down the volume on the music streaming from his phone when he noticed V-mon had fallen asleep in one of the booths. It had been a good evening— the owner had let him close the restaurant by himself for the first time, and the patrons that stayed to the end of the night all seemed to enjoy Daisuke's company. His Saturday evening was still young, however, as he wanted to spend a couple hours planning out some recipes.

He'd long since given up on his friends ever stopping by to try out his cooking at this time of night, but he wasn't bitter about it. They all had school and work and studying and studying abroad and whatnot. Maybe the next time Miyako was in the country, they could sit down for some bowls of ramen. Daisuke smiled at the thought of his food bringing everyone together— That's all he ever wanted in life, honestly.

The next song on the playlist had a nice beat, and Daisuke knew it by heart. He gently tapped his notepad with the end of his pencil in time with the music. Daisuke was so lost in the song that he almost didn't hear the knocking on the restaurant's door. Almost being the key word. Because eventually the knocking grew louder.

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!*

DAISUKE: ( Did V-mon forget to flip the sign to "closed"? )

Daisuke jumped off his stool and made his way around the ramen bar and toward the great wooden front door. He peeked around one of the nearby curtains, expecting to see a drunk patron, or even the owner having forgotten his keys.

His eyebrows rose when he saw who was outside. Seeing Takeru Takaishi standing there all by his lonesome was a little bit of a shock. Maybe it shouldn't be all that surprising, since Ramen Yamatoya was on Takeru's route from school to home. Daisuke's heart made a tiny leap in his chest.

DAISUKE: ( Finally! Someone I can cook for! I hope he came hungry… )

Takeru hilariously continued to knock, despite nobody answering. Before unlocking the door, Daisuke decided he wanted to mess with him for a minute. So he knocked back. The other man's knocking stopped instantly as he presumably stood staring at the door in a confused manner. Then..

*KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!*

The knocking that responded was slower now, but louder. When it stopped, Daisuke repeated the same pattern back to him from the other side of the door. The two men kept this up for a good minute before he finally heard a muffled.

TAKERU: DAISUKE!

Daisuke grinned and finally let the guy in.

TAKERU: Jeez, what was that about?

DAISUKE: You started it, man. Ruined the beat of my favorite song.

Daisuke snapped his fingers. The blond stepped further into the restaurant.

DAISUKE: What are you doing here?

He hoped that question didn't sound impolite, but people could sometimes take his tone the wrong way. Takeru shrugged.

TAKERU: I was passing by and remembered you stayed late here sometimes. I figured I would visit.

DAISUKE: ( It's been months since I told you that and this is your first time here! )

Daisuke thankfully was able to keep that comment to himself, though it definitely threatened to spill out.

As they made their way to the ramen bar on the opposite side of the room, he couldn't help noticing how nicely dressed Takeru was tonight. Not that Daisuke was one to usually notice those things about him, but when it was blatantly obvious a guy was dressed up, that was difficult to ignore.

The man had on a three-quarter length sleeved shirt, a navy vest, black jeans, and an insufferably cool hat. Daisuke only knew it was called a trilby only because Takeru used to get annoyed when people called it a fedora. He was like a walking internet meme, that one.

Daisuke made his way around to the employee side of the ramen bar. After sitting down on one of the stools, Takeru removed his hat and set it on the counter.

DAISUKE: You don't have to take off your tribble, dude. It's just me and V-mon in here.

"Tribble" earned him an eyeroll, and a small smile. But the hat was back on Takeru's head in seconds flat.

TAKERU: It's sort of eerie here this time of night. Isn't it weird that the owner lets you hang out in a closed restaurant?

DAISUKE: What can I say? I'm just a trustworthy kinda guy.

Takeru snorted.

TAKERU: I take it that means you haven't burned the place down yet.

They chatted idly for a few minutes, just shooting the breeze. To be honest, Daisuke didn't really know what to talk to him about. Should he ask what the guy was doing before he showed up? Should he comment on his clothes? Should he treat him like a regular patron and leave personal questions alone?

Daisuke decided against treating him like a regular customer. Because at the end of the day, Daisuke and Takeru had been friends for ten years. Of course they'd had their differences when they were kids— Daisuke always burned too hot and Takeru's vibes were just a little too chill for his liking. But after Daisuke's crush on Hikari fizzled out, any truly dark feelings he had toward Takeru melted away with it.

As they grew into teens, and eventually young adults, Daisuke never felt the need force a closer friendship with Takeru. They coexisted as friends who weren't best friends but still friendly enough to kid around when they were in a group setting. He couldn't remember the last time he was alone with the blond, however. Maybe Daisuke should make a concerted effort to delve into what was going on with Takeru these days, since he was the only person so far to take Daisuke up on his ramen offer.

Takeru's blue eyes met Daisuke's for a moment. He couldn't claim to be the type of person who knew what was wrong with someone just by gazing deeply into their eyes or whatever, so Daisuke made a not-so-educated guess.

DAISUKE: You seem kinda bummed.

Takeru tilted his head.

TAKERU: Do I? How could you tell?

DAISUKE: ( Ah, I'm right! )

He had a point, though. Takeru wasn't known to display his emotions easily. But he had to be here today for some reason other than to spend time with Daisuke.

DAISUKE: You didn't get dressed up just to knock on the door of an empty ramen shop at 10 PM.

TAKERU: Fair.

DAISUKE: …

TAKERU: …

When he didn't explain himself further, Daisuke sighed and put his hands on his hips.

DAISUKE: Did you eat?

Takeru rubbed the back of his neck.

TAKERU: Uhh, actually no I didn't.

Daisuke perked up at this.

DAISUKE: Say no more! I'll whip something up.

TT Oh! Whip something up? Does that mean you'll put whipped cream on it?

DAISUKE: We serve ramen here, dumbass.

TAKERU: …So that's a hard no?

DAISUKE: You're a walking college student cliché, wandering around late at night craving desserts.

The blond chuckled.

TAKERU: I haven't consumed any substances if that's what you mean.

TAKERU: C'mon, Daisuke. Make me something sweet!

DAISUKE: ( Oh this little fucker! )

DAISUKE: I'm here to make ramen! You know what ramen is, don't you?

All he got was a bright, shit-eating grin in response.

DAISUKE: Whatever. How 'bout I dig some mochi ice cream out of the freezer, if you promise to eat real food first.

Takeru snorted again.

TAKERU: Yes, mom.

Daisuke balled up a napkin and chucked it at his friend's stupid face. Takeru caught it mid-air, reminding Daisuke that even though he wasn't overly sporty, the blond still had great reflexes.

With a pot set firmly on the stove, Daisuke began maneuvering his way around the kitchen, preparing a serving of ramen. All the chatting and knocking on wooden doors had barely phased the sleeping V-mon, but once the smell of food was in the air, his partner was instantly on his feet.

V-MON: Where's Patamon?

It was a good question.

TAKERU: Home.

Daisuke turned around and gave Takeru a curious look.

DAISUKE: Ah, the plot thickens.

TAKERU: What plot would this be?

DAISUKE: The mystery of why Takeru is dressed in his cool kid clothes on a Saturday night with nobody around to appreciate it.

TAKERU: Am I not allowed to look nice? Maybe I'm here for you to appreciate it.

DAISUKE: Pfft, yeah right, man. C'mon, pretend I'm a bartender and spill all the juicy details.

DAISUKE: Were you out at a party? Did you go clubbing?

TAKERU: Nope and nope.

DAISUKE: A fancy dinner at someone's house? A date? A— Oh it was a date wasn't it?

TAKERU: As Miyako would say, bingo.

DAISUKE: I guess I'll go out on a limb and say this date did not go well, if you're sitting here instead of some girl's apartment.

Takeru seemed a bit shifty at this statement, which Daisuke took to mean he was on the right track.

TAKERU: You're right, it was a bad date. Not one of my finer moments, I'll say that much.

DAISUKE: That's rough.

Daisuke said as he turned back around to continue making the food.

V-MON: You should have taken your date to Ramen Yamatoya!

V-MON: We get couples here all the time, and they always look like they're having fun.

Daisuke and Takeru both chuckled.

DAISUKE: I promise he's not paid to say that.

He served the ramen, also giving V-mon a serving and watching as his Digimon carefully brought it back over to the booth he was previously napping in. Daisuke made an executive decision to reach under the counter and grab a bottle of saké along with two cups for himself and Takeru. Because bad dates sucked— he'd certainly had a few of them himself.

TAKERU: Wow! I'm getting alcohol served by Daisuke without even asking! Is this the celebrity treatment?

Daisuke felt his cheeks heating up, so he briefly turned around, pretending to wash his hands.

DAISUKE: I'm practicing being hospitable. You know, culinary school makes you take hospitality classes, so…

TAKERU: Mmhm. So I'm not special.

DAISUKE: You are without a doubt the least special person in this room.

Takeru laughed, a truly gleeful laugh that seemed to break through that facade he'd been putting up since he arrived. He still wasn't giving Daisuke the whole story, though.

DAISUKE: So she dumped you, huh?

TAKERU: Huh?

DAISUKE: The girl. Your date.

TAKERU: Uhh, well…

Daisuke pulled up a stool— one much higher than the stool Takeru sat at so he could see over the multi-level ramen counter. There he was, being shifty again, the blond's eyes boring a hole into the wall opposite him.

TAKERU: It wasn't going to work out anyway.

DAISUKE: Let me guess, she found out that you're not a real blond?

That drew his attention back to Daisuke with a surprised laugh.

TAKERU: I am though!

DAISUKE: It was your palate for sweets. You probably only took her to get parfaits and stuff.

TAKERU: Oh my god, I don't have to defend myself to you, Daisuke. The breakup was nuanced.

DAISUKE: She didn't like your hats, obviously.

That comment seemed to hit a nerve.

TAKERU: I wouldn't have agreed to the date if he didn't like my hats. It's a prerequisite.

DAISUKE: Oh yeah, then— wait, what?

They blinked at each other. Then Takeru's eyes widened dramatically and he clapped a hand over his mouth.

TAKERU: Oh shit wait. I meant uhh…

The words came out muffled from behind his hand.

DAISUKE: …

TAKERU: …

DAISUKE: …

All of Takeru's confidence seemed to drain away with the color in his face. Not that Daisuke was paying that much attention— he was still trying to… to process. When Takeru finally spoke again, it sounded a little strained.

TAKERU: Uh, Daisuke? I know it's probably shocking, but you don't have to look like your brain short-circuited.

Daisuke shut his mouth, which had been hanging open.

DAISUKE: You're…

The other man drew in a deep breath and gripped the edge of the counter.

TAKERU: Bisexual, yeah.

Hearing the word was what did it. Daisuke couldn't help himself— he started to laugh. Hard. A loud scooting noise on the floor told him Takeru was getting out of his seat.

TAKERU: I'm actually being serious for once, so maybe don't laugh?

Daisuke immediately began waving his hands back and forth, tears of mirth forming in the corners of his eyes.

DAISUKE: No, no. It's just…

His chest felt weirdly light, like he'd just been told he got a high score on an exam. It was a super peculiar feeling to be having right now, but he didn't have the time to parse what that meant. Because there was rare anger in Takeru's eyes. Anger that definitely didn't need to be there.

TAKERU: Just?

DAISUKE: It's just… you too?

TAKERU: Me too, what?

Daisuke swirled his hand around in the air, willing the proper words to form in his brain so he could explain this truly unbelievable thing that was happening. He finally decided the simplest answer was best, and set his hand on his chest.

DAISUKE: I'm bi.

It was Takeru's turn to look shocked for a split second, before the corners of his mouth twitched upward.

TAKERU: Are… you for real?

DAISUKE: I'm dead serious, dude.

Then Takeru began to laugh too.

TAKERU: I don't know what's funny about that… but somehow all I can do is laugh.

DAISUKE: Now you're getting it.

When they had calmed down enough and sat back down in their seats, Takeru finally took a bite of his ramen.

TAKERU: It's spicy, but pretty good.

In the midst of the whole "bisexual" thing, Daisuke had completely forgotten that he wanted feedback on his cooking.

DAISUKE: Sure, sure, the ramen is fine and all, but let's talk about the other thing.

TAKERU: Wow that's a first! Daisuke doesn't want to talk about ramen!

DAISUKE: It's not every day I uhh… find I have something huge in common with someone I've known for how many years?

DAISUKE: I've never had anyone to talk to about this.

Takeru took off his hat, ran a nervous hand through his hair, and then set the hat down on the stool next to him. His cheeks were a little pink, but it could have been the warm lighting of the restaurant.

TAKERU: It's a weird feeling for sure. I was so worried you were going to say "but I thought you liked Hikari!"

TAKERU: But then you dropped that bombshell.

Daisuke cocked his head to the side in confusion.

DAISUKE: Liking or not liking Hikari-chan has nothing to do with you being bi, dude. I'm living proof of that too.

TAKERU: I mean I know that. But the rest of the world has absolutely no idea what being bisexual means.

They both sighed.

DAISUKE: They think it means you're actually gay.

Takeru nodded slowly. Daisuke gave him a small smile and held up his cup of saké.

DAISUKE: Cheers.

Maybe it's because he'd miraculously found camaraderie with Daisuke, but Takeru actually opened up about what really happened on his bad date. About how he thought the date went on too long while he was leaving Patamon alone. How being away from his Digimon partner was scary these days, when their time was so limited. Not being a Chosen Child, Takeru's date hadn't understood the fleeting nature of how long Takeru had left with Patamon, and the date ended with a lot of sore feelings.

Daisuke empathized more than anyone else possibly could. He got antsy just going to classes without V-mon more times than he cared to admit. There was one question burning in his mind however:

DAISUKE: Why did you come here instead of going home to Patamon?

TAKERU: Ah…

TAKERU: I'm not sure, to tell you the truth.

TAKERU: Patamon was looking forward to hearing about a good date, so maybe I didn't want to let him down.

TAKERU: But also…

DAISUKE: ?

Takeru caught his eye.

TAKERU: It was spur of the moment, but… I wanted to be around another Chosen Child.

TAKERU: It just felt right somehow. Like this was where I was supposed to escape to.

TAKERU: If that makes sense?

Daisuke sucked in a breath, and it caught in his throat when his friend gave him a tentative, but genuine smile.

DAISUKE: Yeah. It totally makes sense.

Daisuke Motomiya and Takeru Takaishi had never been best friends. They'd barely spent time together without their other friends around. But the rest of that first autumn evening, and well past midnight, was spent drinking and joking around and getting acquainted with this new thing they knew about each other.

It shouldn't have been all that different than before, it really shouldn't have. Being bisexual wasn't that big of a deal. But it was funny how suddenly knowing another queer person could shift a friendship in such a profound way. Daisuke hoped, prayed even, that Takeru would continue to consider this ramen shop an "escape".

Author's Note: Please let me know what you think!