The ethereality of the moon never failed to captivate Sakura. At times, such as when she slit sharp-edged blades across her dainty wrists, she fantasized about her body withering away, the wind blowing away the remains, and her soul morphing into a shining star, a jewel to accompany the dazzling moon. Such dreams were unachievable, though, since the only thing she would become if she were to die was a putrid cadaver. She had seen too many corpses to deny the truth.
She gazed at the sky one more time before she pushed the door of the Hokage Tower.
When she entered Lady Tsunade's office, the pink-haired girl was met by the stiff image of her master, who stood gracefully in front of the massive window that reflected the village. Without a word, Tsunade turned around and took one glance at her apprentice. Her caramelized eyes narrowed, but she said nothing as she approached her desk.
The way her high heels clicked on the floor reminded Sakura of a ticking bomb; the Hokage was known for her lack of temper, which the kunoichi was not only accustomed to but also subconsciously inherited during her training years with the older woman. If her Shishou was furious, she had no reservations about showing it, so the fact that she ignored Sakura meant she was enraged. The girl idly wondered if it was because of her or of something that happened before she showed up.
With a creak, Tsunade pulled the chair to sit down and crossed her arms tightly across the chest. Sakura shifted in her position. It was unusual for her mentor to give her the cold shoulder – was this about her being late to report?
Abruptly, the leader spoke: "You look like shit."
Fair enough – seven days without feeling the comfort of her shower were bad enough, but after four days in which her skin was encrusted by dried-up blood and perspiration, Sakura couldn't say she gave off a pleasant scent. If she smelled like shit, she had no doubt she physically resembled that, too.
"I was attacked a few days ago by some Iwa-nins and was poisoned", she responded, "so I had to stay low for a while."
Tapping her fingers against the wooden table, Tsunade glared at her. "And?", she pressed.
And she had a moral awakening, which lead to a breakdown and to the decision to save her already unsavable teammate, who was last seen near the border of the Hidden Stone village. She now had to find him and compel him to abandon his revenge thoughts. It couldn't be that hard, right?
"And I am requesting a mission to Iwagakure", the young woman simplified. If she confided in the Hokage and told her the truth, her Shishou would call her dumb (if she was in a good mood) and Sakura would either be confined to hospital work or a psychiatric asylum. Neither of those options was good for her.
The room was enveloped by an oppressive silence again. Tsunade blinked. Then frowned. "Request denied", she responded after a while, slightly taken aback by her apprentice. "I don't know how hard you've hit your head, Sakura, but in case you have forgotten, we are this close" – she pressed her index finger to her thumb – "to a war between Fire and Rain."
"Your fingers are touching, Shishou."
"Exactly."
Sakura let out a pitiful sigh; she was expecting that answer, of course. The situation between the two villages was getting out of hand by the day and even though the Hokage was trying her best to avoid confrontation, her attempts were quickly spiraling out of control. If the rumors were true, and Akatsuki was leading both Iwa and Ame, then it was only a matter of time before a conflict erupted, especially since the criminal organization seemed more eager than usual to capture the remaining tailed beasts.
Not that they would find the Nine-Tailed Jinchuriki in the Fire country. After Jiraya-sama's death, Naruto, along with Kakashi-sensei and a low-profile team, went into hiding as a preventive solution. At the time her teammate left, he promised he would get stronger, muttering words of affirmation that when he came back, Team Seven would continue to pursue their lost member. Unfortunately for Naruto's dreams, four years later the situation only worsened, so much so that the last report Konoha got from the team was sent months ago – they couldn't risk their intel being interfered with.
The sudden sound of Tsunade's sake bottle hitting the desk interrupted Sakura's thoughts. "Your skills are needed in Konoha", the woman declared, pouring the alcohol into a dusty glass. After gulping it down, she shoved her index finger accusatory in her apprentice's direction. "That, and you know for a fact I am barely sending ANBU there. Why would I send you in the heart of the conflict?".
Thankfully, Sakura had four days ahead of her Shishou to compose a great answer.
"The poison works against the chakra pathway system, destroying it as it advances. Instead of attacking organs, it focuses on disintegrating the pressure points from which the chakra is released."
Raising her eyebrows, Tsunade paused her: "You seem fine to me."
The disheveled-looking ninja forced herself to relax. Her mentor was a smart woman – if she sensed her pupil was lying, Sakura could kiss goodbye her chance to help Sasuke.
"I was wearing a vest, so out of the four daggers which hit me, only one went through, and since it didn't hit any chakra nodes, I was able to purify my system with the Byakugou before any damage."
When she spoke next, her tone took on a softer note: "They will use it on us whenever they get the chance." She darted her eyes towards the pile of documents scattered across Shishou's desk. "How many teams have failed to return from their missions lately? Once the war starts, our troops will face irreparable damage."
Tsunade watched her with a soft, close-lipped smile that was suggesting she was humoring a conversation she didn't wish to have. "Thus you want to go to Iwa, steal the poison, and create an antidote?"
"That would be beneficial, yes", Sakura found herself agreeing.
The truth was she already had the poison she was attacked with on her; it was carefully hidden in the glass ampoule attached to her hip. The backpacks of the ninjas that ambushed her contained at least a dozen vials of that contaminated liquid, and because her body and chakra were depleted for days, she had had more than enough time to analyze its components using the medical kit she always carried. At most, the antidote would take a week to be made.
But Tsunade-sama didn't have to know that yet.
"I see", the Sannin mumbled. "Do tell me, how do you plan to get unrecognizable into Iwa? Using genjutsu and being attacked when a chuunin notices it? When they find you" – Tsunade didn't stop when the young lady in front of her started protesting – "because they will, Sakura, you are the Hokage's pink-haired apprentice, they will notice and send me your head as a gift – what will you do then?"
Said girl scoffed. "When did you become such a sad drinker, Shishou?"
The response came in as a flying glass towards her face.
"When I realized my apprentice lost parts of her brain", retorted the blonde.
Good, she was angry. That meant Sakura managed to make the Hokage grasp the importance of such a mission. Otherwise, she wouldn't have bothered trying to scare the kunoichi off.
It was time for the final stroke.
"What if we not only created the antidote… but also a counterattack?"
Tsunade's eyes slightly widened.
Bingo.
If they wanted to win, they had to be one step ahead of the enemy. Creating a more powerful toxin that Konoha's soldiers were immune to would undoubtedly come with heavier losses on Iwa's side. It was a dirty move, but morality stood no chance in war.
"They wouldn't know what hit them, Shishou."
For the third time since arriving there, she noticed the room growing awfully quiet - the last time Tsunade kept her mouth shut for so long was when she suffered from a severe alcohol withdrawal. Sakura wondered if she should bring some narcotics.
When Tsunade finally turned to face her student, her mind seemed to be miles away. "We will need more than poison to overcome what is coming". Getting hold of herself, she regarded the medic coldly, "I'll think about it and give you an answer when you come back in the morning." The kunoichi took it as a sign to leave immediately and thanked the Hokage for her time. Just as she was walking away, though, her Shishou made an important addition to her injunction: "And take a shower, for God's sake! You smell like dog's crap."
The first thing Sakura did when she reached her apartment was draw a hot bath, scrub her skin until it felt raw and deep shampoo her hair. When the water was cold enough to send shivers down her spine, she stood, keenly placing a foot on the white tile, and embraced herself in a musty-smelling towel. The walk from her bathroom to her bedroom was barely acknowledged. She crawled into her bed, pulled herself into a ball, and closed her eyes.
Inside her, guilt threatened to overwhelm and drain her. She lied to her Hokage, her mentor, the person who raised the pathetic girl she used to be into a skilled kunoichi. Was she betraying Konoha if she made contact with Sasuke? In case someone noticed her and alarmed the Hokage, she could always say the meeting was an accident. After all, it was well known that Team Seven made it a priority to bring the Uchiha back, therefore they couldn't blame her for going after him.
Somewhere to Sakura's right stood a framed picture of her genin team. Back when she hadn't failed her teammates because of her incompetence, living was easier. After Naruto vanished, she spent hours at a time staring at the photograph, wondering how different life would have been if she had been less of a burden to them. Unrealistically, she felt that if she opened her eyes, the young boys in the image would stare at her judgmentally.
Surrounded by the darkness of the night, the girl granted herself to pretend that one day, they would be reunited.
Her thoughts drifted to Itachi Uchiha, something that happened more frequently than she liked. She wondered what he was doing right now. Was he drowning in guilt, like herself? Did he miss his clan? Regret the choice he made in the name of Konoha? Perhaps that's why he joined Akatsuki – his goal was to take down the Fire country for what it did to him. Sakura twisted in her bed. Yes, that must be it. If he was her, she would have harbored a lot of hatred for the village. Or become mentally unstable.
Or both. She doubted someone ordered to massacre his family would do the job, keep their little brother alive, then psychologically scar him for life, all without losing their sanity. That was her only explication as to why Itachi harmed Sasuke. The documents she read regarding the slaughter of the Uchiha clan clearly stated that in exchange for his acts, his sibling could be spared – so why did the missing-nin continuously hurt the boy during the years?
She squeezed her bedsheet. Would the truth behind the massacre be enough for Sasuke? Knowing him and the fact that he was – understandable, given the circumstances – a selfish prick, he might straight up laugh in her face or place her under a genjutsu and leave her behind. It wouldn't be the first time.
Despite everything, he was her teammate, and Sakura deeply cared about her teammates.
(And about her sanity; she didn't know how much time she had left before she fell apart because of the knowledge that people were just pawns to her so-called home)
She wasted most of her night pondering her decisions and when sunrise came, it found the kunoichi already dressed in the usual Jonin attire and climbing the stairs that lead to the Hokage.
Across Tsunade's office sat Shizune, wearing her usual dark kimono. Next to her, Sakura identified the lazily slouched, long-haired man whose eyes were closed as Genma Shiranui - he was frowning deeply while her colleague was healing his leg, green-colored chakra engulfing both of them.
"Morning", greeted the girl, making her way to where the Hokage was waiting for her. Both ninjas nodded to her, and right as she touched the door's handle, she heard the woman clear her throat. Sakura turned around.
"Watch out there", Shizune chirped without taking her eyes off the man, "she's in a good mood, so don't go annoy her, please."
Much to her dismay, she found her mentor in the same position she left her – sitting, hands around her chest, fingers drumming on her upper arm. Sakura tilted her head as she made eye contact with Tsunade.
"Too much drinking, Shishou?", she tried conversing.
"Have a seat, Sakura."
The girl clenched her jaw as she approached. When she saw Shizune again, she was going to demand her definition of 'good mood' because if you asked her, Tsunade behaved uncharacteristically, more so than last night.
"Yesterday...", the leader started, a look of doubt crossing her face as Sakura sat. "You mentioned some particularities about the poison, but said that it didn't have time to reach your system."
Sakura stiffened at the statement. "Did I?", she uttered under her breath, keeping her expression carefully composed.
"I am unsure of how you concluded that it affects the chakra pathways."
A sudden stab of anxiety hit Sakura. Great, she messed up her explication! She was one step closer to moving into a mental health facility. Maybe her Shishou was acting so strange because she somehow figured out Sakura's plans to meet up with Sasuke, so she had called some ANBU to chain and carry her to a clinic.
It was a possibility. However, until further notice, she had to keep herself calm if she didn't want to make Tsunade more suspicious.
"Oh, yes!" Letting out a breathy laugh, she let her eyes wander across the room. "After I was wounded my charka became irregular and, well, immediately after getting it out of my system, it calmed down. I assumed it had to do with the poison."
A lie. She came to that conclusion after she separated each constituent of the poison and injected them into one of her summon snails.
"I see."
A few moments later, Tsunade bent under her desk and pulled out a file. "Officially, you're near Iwagakure to harvest Fever Grass. Unofficially, you're taking on a two-week A-class mission to infiltrate the Stone Village and gain information about the poison they've used on you."
Sakura hummed. There were no ANBU members she could sense in the office.
"Don't do anything stupid. If you sense any danger, get your ass back to Konoha. It's an order."
From the window, the village appeared to be enfolded in a vermilion sea of leaves; pushed by the scathing wind, they touched the earth soundlessly, covering it like soil covers a grave. Autumn was beautiful in Konoha.
"Of course, Tsunade-sama."
Under any other circumstances, Itachi Uchiha would say he was not an intuitive person. Truth be told, most of the time he relied on gut feelings he ended up in situations he wished could avoid.
However, this time it was different. The moment his eyes opened, drowning his surroundings in shades of red, anxiety filled his body in a way he had long forgotten. There was some deep, instinctual sensation that warned him the comfort of the routine he had established over the past years was about to be shattered. In response, his muscles stiffened and he felt prepared to jump out of the tree he was resting on and run in the opposite direction. A momentary look of discomfort crossed his face before he regained his composure.
He rose his head and allowed himself to study the sky. Although it was early morning, he could still discern tiny, elysian spots staining it fulgently, fractures in the atmosphere that flashed timid light. Sometimes, when ruthless loneliness took away his soul, all he needed to do was look up.
Itachi liked stars, he concluded.
Here is the beginning and the introduction to this world!:D
In case anyone is confused, canon diverges after Jiraya's death, which would make Sakura around 20 years old in this fic.
While I have to mention that Sakura might seem ooc, I still believe her personality would slightly change even in canon if Naruto wasn't around.
Thank you for all your support! I hope you liked this. Any kind of review is greatly appreciated3