Whumptober 2021
Summary: Whumptober 2021: Day 28: Nightmares/Panic. Marco/Ace. Following Marineford, Ace is plagued with nightmares of watching his nakama die to save him.
Author's Note: So, I told myself I wasn't going to finish the prompts from last year, but I lied to myself and here we are xD I hope you enjoy xD On with the fic!
Warnings: Mentioned Character Death, Mentioned Canon Violence, Nightmares, Panic Attacks
Whumptober 2021: Day Twenty-Eight: Nightmares/Panic (Marco/Ace)
He could hear the screams. The screams of his name. The determined shouts of people yelling to continue to charge forward. The smell of gunfire, cannons, fire, blood. It was all too much.
There was nothing he could do.
He was shackled to the scaffold, being forced to watch all of it go down.
Watch his friends die.
Die for him.
He was screaming and crying. Pleading that they go away. Even though he was happy that they were willing to die for him. He had been given the answer to the one question he had his entire life, but at the cost of many lives.
Maybe, he really was cursed.
Then, he could remember the feel of magma on his back. The extreme heat threatening to kill him and Luffy both. That was until it was stopped short by none other than Red-Haired Shanks. Keeping Admiral Akainu's fist from going straight through his back.
Though, his dreams always ended the same. Watching his friends and family die. Watching Luffy die.
It sent him straight into panic each and every time. No matter what he said or did. There was nothing he could do. He was helpless.
Ace woke up screaming, unable to stop himself. His breathing was quick. No matter what he tired, he couldn't stop it. He could barely breathe at all. His chest was tight as he braced a hand on against the shirt that he was wearing. Tears were stinging his eyes as he pulled his legs up, going through the different exercises to try and calm himself.
Nothing was working.
It had been months of this.
Months of the same thing over and over again.
Every single night he was plagued with dreams of how Marineford played out. How it could have played out.
How he could have died.
How Luffy could have died.
How Whitebeard could have died.
How it was all his fault.
He wasn't even sure how long he had actually been awake for before hands were landing on his shoulders. One starting to make soothing circles into his skin as the other moved to his hair. The soft shushing sounds that followed. He could hear the voice instructing him through what to do, hanging onto him and keeping him grounded.
Before he knew it, the panic attack had started to slow down, and his breathing was leveling out. He leaned back, falling back into Marco's chest as he kept whispering sweet reassurances into his ear. He hadn't even realized he had been crying until Marco's arm came around in front of him and his thumb wiped away his tears.
Ace choked, turning, and curling straight into the older pirate. His hands twisting into his shirt. He couldn't even stop the sobs that left him as he all but clung to Marco. He couldn't stop himself now. Everything was out in the open now. Ever since that day, everyone knew everything about him. All the secrets that he had been keeping. Who his bloodline was.
Yet, they still all gave their lives for him.
And, somehow, he couldn't be happier.
It had been good that he had been born, but it had left him plagued with nightmares and guilt ever since that day.
There had been no stopping the feeling.
Marco was always with him, or at least close by for whenever a nightmare would hit. He would have one every single time that sleep overtook him. The older pirate would come in, wrap him up in his arms, talk him down and just hold him. Constantly trying to reassure him that nothing was his fault. That they would gladly do it again. He believed it, but the guilt still ate him alive.
No matter what he tried to say, Marco would just smile at him, muttering the exact thing that he would say to calm him down.
Marco was always so kind to him.
Always there for him.
Honestly, he wasn't sure how he would be able to cope with what happened at Marineford without him.
He finally managed to catch his breath, leaning his head against Marco's shoulder as he felt the blonde continuing to card his fingers through his hair. Tracing soft patterns into his scalp. Marco was humming softly now, just rocking back and forth with his other arm curled securely around him.
"Wanna talk about it?"
Ace never wanted to talk about it. Marco lived it. He already knew. He didn't need to tell him. At least, he thought so.
So, Ace shook his head.
"Alright." Marco replied.
"Just lay with me." Ace whispered.
Marco did just that. Moving to lean back against the pillows, shuffling the blanket around to pull it over them. Ace kept his head exactly where it was, listening to Marco's beating heart underneath his ear. It was the only thing still keeping him grounded to reality.
This is always what it was going to be like. He didn't know how long it would be before he stopped having nightmares. When he could finally have a good night's sleep.
He lifted his head, looking straight up at Marco to see that the man was looking back at him with a soft smile. "We all get them, Ace."
Ace sighed and nodded, "But are you the cause of what happens in them?"
Marco shrugged. "It's the life of a pirate. We choose this life because we wanted to be free. We wanted to go down this path and we will protect our nakama and family no matter the cost." He smiled again, pressing a kiss into Ace's forehead before he was adding, "We said it then and we'll continue to say it… no one messes with the Whitebeard Pirates and gets away with it."
Ace couldn't help the smile that pulled onto his face as he leaned in, pressing his lips into Marco's for a brief moment. As he pulled back, he muttered out a quick, "Thank you."
Marco didn't reply, just pressing another kiss into his forehead and pushed his head back down into his chest. Continuing to trace those soft patterns. They just laid there; in just silence that Ace could only hear them both breathe.
Before he knew it, his eyes were slipping shut again and his breathing leveled out. He was lost back into sleep and for the first time in a long time, he had a blissful sleep. No nightmares. No waking up in a panic. Just a blissful sleep while laying in the arms of the man he loved.
One day the nightmares would go away. He would stop waking up panicking that Marineford had turned out different. He was home and he had the answer to the one question he had.
It would take time, but he would get there.
He already defied all odds by surviving throughout the years.
He'd do it again.