Scorched Earth
The morning after they woke up, the Basterdz said goodbye to Beau and headed on their way to the oil fields in their truck.
"If there's an investigation, do you think that he'd give us up?" Patton asks.
"Not likely, these oil fields do more damage to this country than good. Oil rigs catch fire all the time. This won't be looked at as a terrorist plot." Chad says.
"We need to make sure nobody gets seriously injured, or killed if we wanna avoid being branded as terrorists." Maurice comments.
"Nobody's gonna get killed." Chad says.
As they drive on, Chad parks the truck off road and out of sight. He also parks it roughly a mile away from the oil field. Patton stashes weapons at the bottom of the hill. As they sneak up the hill, Patton pulls out his binoculars to survey the area.
"What do ya see, Pat?" Chad asks.
"I see ice cream men. They got four of them on each of the rigs. And they have trucks with turrets on them. Looks like they're circling the perimeter." Patton explains to them.
"You know you'd think an oil tycoon would be able to afford better security than the fucking Ice Cream Men." Maurice laughs.
"It's all politics. They wanna look like they're supporting each other. That the villains are all united, especially after Numbuh 10's radio show with the villains. It's only gonna bite 'em in the ass in the end." Chad says.
"Well in any case, how do you propose we deal with these guys?" Patton asks. "If we create a distraction, odds are they're gonna sound an alarm."
"Is there an office or a trailer nearby?" Chad asks. "Odds are someone's gonna be there."
"Let me look… and… ah. There it is. In fact Jimmy McGarfield himself looks like he's there right now." Patton says as he spots Jimmy McGarfield entering his office.
"Alright, here's the plan. I'll take Jimmy McGarfield. Patton, you draw the guards away once I give the okay. When the guards are away from the rigs, Maurice, you plant the explosives. Then get the hell away from there to blow the charges." Chad explains.
"Alright, let's get to work." Patton says. The three of them split up to prepare their respective tasks.
Making his way to the trailer office, Chad sneaks in to find Jimmy McGarfield sitting at his desk.
"Gotcha." He says as McGarfield reaches from the alarm. Chad however grabs his arm and pins him to the wall.
"Yeah, not today, kimosabe." He says.
"What is this? A robbery? Are you trying to steal my money?" McGarfield asks.
"Not exactly." Chad answers, before sticking hand out the window and giving the signal to Patton.
"Alright. Good luck, Pat." Maurice says as Patton rushes to the fields with an air horn.
"Right here fellas!" Patton shouts, drawing the attention of the Ice Cream Men. All of them get off the rigs to follow Patton.
"Patton, you crazy son of a bitch." Maurice comments to himself as he proceeds to make his way to the rigs to plant the explosives.
Patton makes his way up the hill and down the other side with the Ice Cream men on his tail. As soon as he reaches the bottom, he picks up the weapons he stashed: A long range electro blaster, and a plasma ball gun.
"Oo-fucking-rah!" He shouts as he begins blasting at all of them. Though the weapons can't kill them, the injuries they cause are incredibly painful.
In the trailer, Chad has McGarfield sitting in a chair and waiting for Maurice to blow the rigs.
"So what are you here for? You're gonna destroy my family fortune, just to prove yourself?" McGarfield asks.
"Prove myself about what?" Chad asks curiously.
"To Nigel Uno." McGarfield says, making Chad angry.
"Watch yourself little boy." Chad threatens. "It's not a good idea to fuck with an enemy who knows you better than you know them."
"Awww, did he turn you down?" McGarfield asks, not heeding Chad's warning. "And I thought I was desperate. It's kinda sad to…" Before he can finish his sentence, Chad strikes him in the face, breaking his nose. "Ow, Christ! You broke my fucking nose you lunatic!"
"I'll break your fucking teeth on a curb if you don't shut your goddamn mouth. Do NOT push me!" Chad yells, pulling McGarfield close to him.
"Get away from me!" A frightened McGarfield shouts as he punches Chad and tries to push him away. This backfires as it only makes Chad angrier. Grabbing him by the lapel, Chad throws McGarfield out the window. Attempting to crawl away, he is stopped when Chad stomps down on his wounded ankle.
"You're not going anywhere. In a few seconds, you're gonna see why we're here." Chad says, causing McGarfield's fear to rise.
"We?" He asks, as realizes the rest of the Basterdz are helping Chad.
All of the sudden, the rigs all explode and set all the oil underneath them on fire.
"What have you done?" McGarfield asks as he begins to cry. He knows that he no longer has money coming in. His oil empire is now destroyed, along with any funding the Earth Villains had left in the world.
"Exactly what we set out to do." Chad says.
"How are you gonna explain this? People were on those rigs, the finest security force I had were on those rigs." McGarfield argues, not knowing what actually happened to them.
"Don't be too certain of that." Chad replies. He then picks McGarfield and drags him over the hill where Maurice and Patton have bound the Ice Cream Men together.
"You had ONE job!" McGarfield snaps.
"And they fucking sucked at it." Patton laughs. As the Ice Cream Men sit and cry, both from the pain and the embarrassing defeat at the hands of the Basterdz.
"Chad, what did you do to him?" Maurice asks, noticing McGarfield's battered appearance.
"I taught him a lesson, you don't poke a sleeping dragon." Chad replies.
"Well can we at least get to a hospital?" An Ice Cream Man requests.
"Kids Next Door Command should be here at some point. They'll take you to a prison hospital." Maurice answers, much to their disdain. "Hey, I promise you, the Villains won't give you any better treatment, especially after they figure out about this." He says, pointing at the burning oil field.
"You're gonna pay for this." McGarfield says as he lunges at Chad only to be tased by Patton.
"You have money, you can afford this. Even if insurance doesn't cover it." Patton says before kicking him in the face.
Maurice writes a note and staples it to McGarfield's hat that reads: "They're all yours, Abigail."
Making their way back to the trucks, the four of them unwind for the first time that day.
"So what do we do now? Where are we gonna go?" Patton asks.
"Well I think the first course of action is to get the fuck outta Texas, and lay low for a bit." Chad says.
"I agree. Maybe head south into Mexico, then maybe Asia." Maurice suggests.
"Why Mexico?" Chad asks.
"Because Mexico's relatively quiet. Nobody wants to fuck with it. And I heard rumors of both alien and Villain insurgents in the Southeast." Maurice explains.
"Yeah he's right. Well can we at least head to Tijuana while we're south of the border?" Patton asks.
"Sure thing buddy. Actually, can you put the gear away, I wanna talk to Chad for a bit." Maurice requests as he takes Chad by the shoulder and the two step away. "So what happened in the office, Chad? It's not like you to fuck someone up like THAT."
"Poked at old issues that I'm trying to get over." Chad answers.
"He mentioned Nigel, didn't he?" Maurice asks, knowing the truth. "Listen, I'm sorry what happened with Nigel. There's nothing we can do to change that. But you can't keep beating yourself up over it."
"It's not him, it's me. It was probably THE most embarrassing moment of my life, and that's saying something. I'm trying to move on, but that little fucker just had to open old wounds." Chad replies, getting agitated. "I'm also still mad at myself for getting into a screaming match with the people who saved us from Galactic."
"Look at me. I'd be amazed if they were mad at you about that. Time has passed. They've most definitely forgiven you by now. You owe it to them, me, Patton, and yourself to forgive yourself." Maurice says, calming Chad down. "But listen, you don't need to worry too much now. Let's just head to Tijuana, unwind, and take time for ourselves."
"Thanks, Maurice." Chad says as he calms down and the two of them head back to the truck.
"Everything good?" Patton asks as he's waiting in the driver's seat.
"We're good. Get us to the border, we should be there by the time it gets dark." Chad says. Patton drives the truck south and the Basterdz prepare to leave the US and relax in Mexico.
End of the chapter. Hope you all loved this chapter and the action sequence. The next chapter is going to be focused on the villains. Until then, happy reading.