Jiraiya and I had found a quaint apartment. It was simple, but had a nice bedroom, modest kitchen, bathroom and living room. I didn't require much; I was a simple person. It was crazy how easy and fast it was to acquire an apartment in Konoha, but I wasn't going to complain.
After that, we meandered down the stores and picked out furniture. I tried to pick out neutral tones with some accents. Many blacks and whites along with a few dark browns. I was afraid of how we'd get the furniture back to the apartment, but I thankfully had a seal master along and Jiraiya gracefully sealed away the things I wanted into his scrolls and pocketed them for when we planned to go back to the apartment.
I was extremely grateful for his presence and his help. I got many looks, especially from the older ninja population, but no one said a word. It turned out that Jiraiya was a great deterrent.
We'd gone to the book store and picked up a copy of his book along with the Tale of the Gutsy Ninja to his surprise.
As we wandered into the ninja clothing shop, I stood in the doorway wondering how to go about this. I'd worn the same style since I got here and I knew that I had grown out of the style since my past life. I could see some colors I wanted to try out along with newer designs.
Jiraiya noticed my hesitancy and put a hand on my shoulder.
"I…haven't really had a choice in what I wear in a while." I admitted reluctantly. "I'm not sure if I should continue with the style I am wearing or try something different."
"No one is going to tell you how to dress here, kid." And that's all I needed to hear.
I wandered over to a black skirt, loving the fabric and the design with pockets. I pulled it off the rack and wandered over to the leggings. I knew I would never wear skirts willingly without some kind of protection down there. In a nod to my past life, I grabbed a purple long-sleeved breathable shirt. The shirt was a bit low-cut and flared out in the back like a bit of a skirt. I liked it a lot. The next thing was that I needed shoes (or sandals, if that's all they had) and something to pull my hair up in.
The only feet protection I could find were variants of sandals, so I grabbed some black boots with open toes.
As I wandered down the line, I noticed a small collection of hair pieces for male and female ninja. I fingered a purple flower hair comb that I noticed had another function: a small press of a button at the top and the comb turned sharp at the end.
I thought of the possibilities: poison and people unsuspecting such a simple hair item. I loved it and knew it had to be mine. Along with that, I grabbed some simple hair ties as well.
Thankfully they had some face paint and some other cosmetics that I grabbed as well. While I wasn't Rin anymore – I had to play the part.
As I brought my purchases along with grabbing a few extras of each up to the counter, I heard the chime of the door opening, the bells on the door ringing lightly in a beautiful tone.
Jiraiya followed me up to the front counter to put it "on the tab" or so to speak while using another scroll.
We headed outside and went to do the rest of our shopping: groceries. I wasn't much of a cook in this life. I didn't really have time to make food what with working long shifts and whatever else life threw at me (not to mention that Asian cuisine was different than that of my American cuisine). However, I relied on the knowledge I gained from Rin on some simple recipes with not too many ingredients to get started. I knew that my grocery grab was measly to most, but I didn't eat much. I'd often forgo food because I forgot, didn't care to make something or I was too busy.
A few snacks here and there as well and we were off to the new apartment to get it ready.
Unfortunately, Jiraiya's presence didn't waylay everybody.
"Jiraiya?" A voice called out in the crowd. Their voice was muffled from the crowd, but still hearable by myself and Jiraiya. From the tensing of his muscles and his tightening of his fist over the grocery bag, I knew this was not going to be a pleasant conversation.
I glanced over at Jiraiya, not recognizing the voice and wanting to know how he wanted to proceed. He paused in his steps and gave me a hand sign I knew to be him telling me to keep my position.
He turned to the caller as I stood still, back turned, next to him. "Genma, how can I help you?" He asked in a carefree, boisterous voice.
I heard someone come to a stop behind us and a click of something metal against teeth. "Rumor is that you brought someone back from your last mission." He said bluntly.
Jiraiya's voice was almost a warning now. "Rumors are often baseless." His carefree tone was gone and his tense posture had disappeared, too. He was trying to appear unaffected and quiet the rumors as well. He hoped to put people off my trail.
Why he did that, I was unsure since I wasn't exactly hiding, but I knew he had to have a reason. He was older and wiser than me for sure. Whether it was to hide me from the Akatsuki, so he could get to Kakashi before the rumors, etc. He had to have a valid reason that he hadn't shared with me yet.
I knew that Tsunade had some serious damage control and a lot of information to sort through. I also knew that she wasn't done with me. She would call me back eventually and request more information, or in the case that they heard contradicting information, confront me. Perhaps even interrogate me.
For now, I would take each day at a time and plan here and there.
"They can be," Genma agreed easily. "Who's this you're with?" His tone was suspicious and a hint of something I couldn't discern.
I glanced again at Jiraiya with just a move of my eyes. I saw him give a small nod. I didn't know what game he and Tsunade were playing, what damage control would look like or what the reaction from people who knew Rin would be, but I dreaded what came next.
With a small intake and outtake of a breath of air, I turned to face Genma. I gave a small, polite smile. "Hello, Genma." I gave a short wave with my one empty hand.
He gave a sharp intake of air in response, the clink of the senbon on his teeth sounding loud as I watched him carefully.
"Rin?" He asked cautiously.
"Yes," I replied in a calm, serene tone. I was trying my best to remain relaxed in a situation like this. I hadn't wanted to run into anyone before I had time to process things. Everything has happened so fast since my kidnapping. I needed time to reboot my brain, to confront the things that I'd avoided so far. I needed to plan and I desperately needed to fall asleep reading a good book.
"How is this possible?" He asked, voice rough with emotion.
I turned to Jiraiya and cocked my head slightly at him, asking how he wanted to handle this.
"I was part of a search and rescue mission." Jiraiya spoke up and drew Genma's attention to him. "We'd gotten information that there was a Konoha ninja behind enemy lines." I noticed he didn't mention which enemy lines. "When we got there, we found her. She just got back and we're trying to get her settled with new effects and in an apartment."
He was trying to hint at Genma that we needed to go, but Genma ignored the obvious insinuation.
He shook his head. "We thought you were dead." He said to me, eyes staring at me almost imploringly.
I pursed my lips and tried not to frown. "I know," I responded as lightly as I could. "It's complicated. I don't know how much I can tell you, to be honest, but I am back now, and ready to serve Konoha again after my rescue." I again hinted that the conversation was nearing its end politely.
Genma clicked his mouth shut in a frown that pulled down the sides of his mouth thoughtfully. I could see his forehead crease as he took in my words.
"Have you spoken to anyone else?" He asked in a careful tone.
I shook my head. "No, you're the first." I shifted on my feet nervously. "I appreciate that you wanted to check up on me, Genma, but I'm trying to get used to the change in being back in Konoha. I would love to sit down and catch up sometime." I offered kindly. I knew that for those who knew Rin when she was alive and had grieved her death, this would be a difficult time for them, just like it was for me. "But…"
"Right now isn't the best time." He said in a dry tone. "Got it." His frown hadn't left his face, but he looked up at me and gave a quick quirk of one side of his lips in a crooked smile. "I'll hold you to that, Rin, and if anyone asks, I'll let them know."
I smiled back at him, grateful beyond words. "Thank you, Genma. I know this is hard for all of us, but I really appreciate your acceptance and your help in this regard."
This time his lips pulled into an actual smile. "You're welcome, Rin, it's the least I could do. We'll talk some other time."
I nodded quickly at him and Jiraiya, with bags still in his arms, lightly put one hand still carrying a bag onto my back to turn me around and lead me away. I followed gratefully and hoped that would be it for the night.
One interaction was enough for me.
We made it back to the apartment without any other interruptions and he helped me get things situated. I promised to make it up to him. He tried to pass it off as nothing, but I assured him I would repay him somehow. He left then and I took the time to cook as I cleared my head.
It was a simple recipe and I cleaned the mess quickly before laying on my head and closing my pulsing eyes and trying to ignore my pounding head.
I reached up and used some medical ninjutsu to ease some of the pressure. I knew that that was abusing the power I wielded, but at that moment I didn't care. I needed sleep and time to prepare for the rest of the population of Konoha.
When I awoke, I took a few minutes to gather my thoughts. I tried to decide what my plan for the day would be. I wanted to get back into hospital work; but I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to until my probation was over.
I ran my fingers through my hair as I thought.
I didn't know when Kakashi would be back, either. No doubt rumors were going crazy and I'd have to make an appearance at some point. I'd be interrogated probably by former friends or those curious enough to approach me.
Taking a breath to relax myself, I climbed to my feet and got ready for the day. I glanced over at the clock next to me and it said 8 am. I thought for a second and made a plan for the day.
My new clothes were nice and I felt more like myself than a Rin imposter. Like Jiraiya said: I'm different, but that's okay. I didn't have to act like Rin, just like myself. I did add the face paint because that was the biggest Rin trait and if people were going to confront me on being Rin, I had to at least try to keep a piece of her.
After my face was painted and I was dressed in my new clothes, I gave myself an unsure smile in the mirror. I surveyed my face from different sides and made a few faces at myself. Finally, I shook my head ruefully at myself. I would have to get used to this.
I pulled my hair up in its usual double buns and put in the hair clip I'd bought the day before.
"It's now or never." I muttered aloud with another sigh.
Jiraiya had given me some money before he left "on Konoha" and I was planning to use it to buy some flowers from the Yamanaka flower shop. I was going to stop by Minato and Kushina's graves. I decided I had to stop by Obito's as well to avoid suspicion.
I wandered out the door and headed down one of the walkways and glanced around, looking for the shop. I asked a civilian who was wandering by and the woman was helpful enough to point me in the right direction. I headed over there with nerves, but knew this was something I had to do for Rin.
I entered the store with trepidation and saw a young blonde girl at the counter. "Um, hello," I said to her in a quiet, but kind voice. It trembled a little, but that was fine. This was nerve-wrecking and I had no problem with showing a little unsurety.
The young girl shot up straight and shot me a bright smile. "Hello! How can I help you?" She asked happily.
I smiled back gratefully and appreciated her upbeat nature at 10 am. That was probably not a bad time for a ninja, but back in my old world, I knew many who would grumble at 10 am unhappily. I myself didn't used to be a morning person until I started third shifts, so I understood them and their night owl ways.
"I want some flowers for three graves. I'm not sure what to get. Would you be able to help me?"
She nodded quickly and her smile fell just a little, but she was quick to help. "Sure. I'll get you what you need." She headed over towards the flowers and started gathering a bunch. "I haven't seen you around before." She mentioned. "I'm sorry for your loss."
I shook my head. "It's okay, I've been away for a while. I appreciate your kindness. They've been gone for a while, but I haven't been able to properly say goodbye." I replied in a light tone. "They're for my sensei, his wife and my teammate. It may have been quite a few years, but I'm finally able to take a few minutes to say my farewell wishes."
She nodded at my words. "That must be difficult," She replied in a somber tone.
I shook my head at her and gave her a soft smile. "It is, but so many things have happened since that I haven't quite had time to grieve. I don't think it's hit me yet." I admitted. While I had Rin's memories and I could feel the nostalgic feeling at seeing all the happy moments with Minato and Kushina, I was devoid of Rin's love and devotion to them. In a way, it hadn't hit me yet.
"Well, I hope it isn't too hard on you." Ino fretted. I knew that she wasn't a huge fan favorite, but she was starting to grow on me.
"It's probably good for me to be honest." My tone still light and airy, polite.
She handed me the flowers she'd gathered.
"Can I ask your name?" She asked me in a sweet voice. "I just hope I see you again."
I hummed. "My name is Rin Nohara and it was very nice to meet you. I get the feeling we'll be seeing each other again." I gave her an appreciative smile as I paid and was about to leave before I saw a man walking in the door with two teenagers.
The man was smoking with a cigarette and the two teens were an interesting sight. The man wore his jounin green and blues with dark hair and facial hair. The one boy was slumped next to him in the same attire and the one next to him was a larger teen holding a bag of chips.
"Ino, you were supposed to show up a while ago." The man said in greeting.
"Sorry!" She said hastily. She rubbed her hands on her apron to rid them of any water and dirt. "Dad had to go out and mom isn't around. I had to take over for a few minutes until dad came back. I was just helping this customer."
The three boys turned to me and I saw the man's cigarette drop to the ground as his mouth opened in surprise. He closed his mouth briefly before muttering, "what the hell?"
I felt uncomfortable under their gazes and shifted nervously. I knew this man from both Rin's memories and from my knowledge of the anime/manga. Head downturned, I glanced at him under my eye lashes.
"Ah, hello, Asuma." I said sheepishly behind the large gathering of flowers that overflowed in my arms.
"This is impossible," he muttered to himself.
"What is, Asuma-sensei?" Asked the boy I knew to be Choji.
"Who are you?" Asuma asked in an almost angry tone.
This was not what I wanted, but what I had expected all the same. I could feel myself quivering a bit under the intensity of his stare and the harsh tone.
"Hey!" Ino shouted, unhappy. "Be nice to my customer!" She berated the older man.
"It's okay, Ino." I said quickly. "I've been gone for a long time. Asuma just hasn't seen me in a while. It's been about seventeen years, right Asuma? I understand you hadn't expected to see me again. I…didn't expect it to be possible, either."
His face pulled into a frown as he looked at me. "You can't be her." He said to me.
I gave him a sympathetic smile. "I assume Tsunade will say something at some point, but maybe not. I've been…" I thought for a second of the words to say. "…behind enemy lines for about seventeen years. Jiraiya just rescued me and we arrived back at Konoha yesterday. I know you all thought me to be dead." I tried to be as kind and understanding as possible while still feeling very awkward. "I certainly never expected to be rescued, nor see any of my friends and family from Konoha again."
"How are you alive?" He asked and his voice was rough and heavy with emotion. I could see his students staring back and forth between us like a tennis match.
"Many things are possible, unfortunately, in this world." I twisted my lips into an unhappy line. My anxiety overcame me and I could feel the slight tremble of my body. I shook my head at him in apology. "I'm sorry, this is all too much for me and I can only imagine how it is for you. I wanted to visit my sensei and his wife along with my teammate at their graves. I'm sorry, this is overwhelming and I should really go."
I rushed out of the store after that in a pace that was a mixture of a run and a walk. I didn't want to be seen as running away, but I was definitely making a run for it. I could hear Ino's yelling as I left the store behind, but paid it no mind.
As overwhelming as this was for me, I could only imagine how it was for Rin's former friends and classmates.
I wasn't quite sure how to get to the graves until I closed my eyes for a second to pull on the correct memory. I headed that way and stopped first at Minato and Kushina's graves. I dropped the flowers onto their graves and fell to my knees.
"Hello, sensei. Hello, Kushina." I thought for a few minutes on what to say. It was weird to think about speaking to someone's grave; I knew that people did it all the time and it wasn't weird, I'd just never done it before. I also had an audience, I knew, so I had to be careful with what I said.
"It's been a while." I said almost sheepishly. "I'm sorry I wasn't able to be there for you when you needed help." I dragged my hand over Minato's grave tenderly. I pulled on my memories of him and felt an unnamed emotion rise in me. "I would have liked to see you one last time. Both of you. I have such fond and happy memories of you two. I would have liked to be there for you. I wish…I wish we would have had a better good bye." I knew from the anime/manga and the memories that they had both been extraordinary people. I wish I had been able to meet them in person and get to know them properly.
I lightly brushed a hand over Kushina's grave and gave a sad smile. "Thank you both for all the happy memories. I'll cherish them forever."
I stood and took with me the remaining flowers for Obito's grave. I headed over there and shifted awkwardly on my feet. Eventually I got to my knees and situated his flowers.
"Hi, Obito." I hummed as I thought about what to say. "I miss the boy from my memories." I started hesitantly. "I miss the boy who was helpful and sweet. Who was so innocent and naïve. I miss the boy who gave his life for his teammates. Thanks for all the happy memories." That was enough, I decided. If I stayed any longer, I'd be lying through my teeth and wanting to condemn the new him.
As I stood and left the gravesites, I could feel an emotion overwhelm me and tears gathered in my eyes. Surprised, I wiped at them before they could overflow. I sniffled as the tears came faster. Bewildered, I rubbed at my eyes quickly to get rid of the emotion.
A white handkerchief appeared in my vision and I jerked back before following the hand with my eyes up to a face. It looked to be Kurenai, to my surprise.
I opened my mouth before closing it, unsure how to respond. She grabbed one of my hands and curled my fingers around the cloth. I followed the movement automatically.
"I ran into Asuma and he told me where you were going. I wasn't going to watch, but I knew it had to be hard and I wanted to be sure someone was here for you when you were finished." She gave me a small, sad smile that I returned hesitantly.
"Thank you, Kurenai. It's been a while. I'm sure you have questions, too?"
"It has." She agreed easily. "I do, but they can wait. I'm sure this has been difficult for you."
I laughed, the sound a little wobbly and wet. I dabbed at my eyes with the handkerchief as she watched me closely.
"You have no idea. I can only imagine how it feels for you guys to see a ghost wandering around Konoha like she hasn't been dead for seventeen years." The corner of my mouth upturned at her and she gave me a soft smile.
"It's certainly jarring." She replied in agreement. "Asuma and I gave our teams the day off. Come join us. I know Asuma doesn't always make the best first impression." Her words were a little condescending, but her tone was the opposite; fond and full of laughter.
I didn't want to, but…
"Okay." I said with a small nod. "It's been pretty overwhelming and I haven't been here that long, so I'm sorry if I'm not the best conversationalist." I admitted with an apologetic tone.
I felt her hand rub my back as I finished with my eyes. She didn't say anything in response, but I knew she was telling me: it's okay, don't worry about it. It made me feel worse knowing that while I used to be Rin, these sweet friends of hers had no idea who I really was. They had no idea that the sweet girl they knew when they were younger was gone.
As she led me down the path towards wherever Asuma was at, I chewed on my lip contemplatively. Her hand didn't drop from its position on my back, gentle and soft. I glanced over at her with my eyes and I could see her face was bright, but her eyes were tight with concern.
We headed to a dango shop not too far away in the village. Leading me towards Asuma at a table near the shop, she told me to get settled and she'd get me my favorite. I had no idea if I'd have the same taste buds and favorites as Rin, but I'd certainly try to enjoy whatever she brought me.
I sat at the table and looked up at Asuma.
"I'm sorry," He said, looking me in the eyes. "No one could have expected this and I didn't believe it at first. I ran into Genma and Kurenai and realized my mistake. I'm glad you're back and safe where you belong, Rin. I think your return would be good for Kakashi."
I beamed at him, thankful for the apology and the effort Genma put in to help me get the approval of others. "You're fine, Asuma. I understand how difficult this must be for you."
He regarded me with a serious face. "I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you." He returned.
I gave him a sardonic smile and a small shrug. "It's not the easiest." I felt safe in admitting. "I'll feel better when people stop confronting me about it and my presence becomes normal again. I just want to forget, you know? I want to jump right in and work at the hospital. I want to heal people, I want to see Kakashi and I want to just live my life like I used to."
My words held an undercurrent that only I knew; I wanted to go back to my new life. No weird past memories, no Obito to worry about, not having to pretend to be someone I'm not. I wanted to go back to my hospital and work on my patients. I wanted my worries to be about getting enough sleep or enough food in me. I wanted to just have to be worried about what I'd give my parents as gifts. Simple things in life, not the new worries that wouldn't leave me alone.
"I'm sure you'll get back to it in no time." He comforted me. "People in Konoha like to talk. We're terrible gossips, but after news travels, hopefully people won't bother you as much. Ninja understand how hard being behind enemy lines is and most won't ask for details. You only really need to worry about Kakashi."
I nodded back at him as Kurenai brought the dango to the table and balanced a tray of tea with her. I brightened up at the tea. I hoped it was caffeinated.
"Thank you," I breathed at Kurenai as I happily grabbed a tea cup and held it up to my face to feel the warmth drift over my face comfortingly.
She laughed. "Of course that hasn't changed."
I looked at her, confused.
"You're hoping for caffeine, right?" She asked and I responded in the affirmative. "Of course. What did you used to say? There's no point to tea or coffee without the caffeine."
Asuma's shoulders shook at that before chortling happily. "You've got that right. Right before she'd head off to a shift at the hospital."
I shook my head as I did remember saying that in my past life, and for some reason in my newest life, too. Some things don't change, I guess.
I smiled at them and watched them laugh. "Obviously. If you have to drink something that's that bitter, then it better have a redeeming quality." I replied haughtily.
I could see their faces lightening as I spoke, almost reminiscing on old memories.
"Trust me," Kurenai said. "I got you your caffeine."
I sighed happily. "Much appreciated." I took a sip and made a face at the taste before the caffeine hit me. I was surprised, but realized she made it extra strong. My face morphed into a pleased expression at that to their continued delight.
We spent the time talking about the past. They didn't ask about the seventeen years I'd been missing to my relief. I heard them talk about what I'd missed, skimming by Kakashi for the most part. They talked about the changes in Konoha and their teams that they'd trained up.
I listened politely and nodded along as they carried the conversation.
When the tea and dango were gone (and I was in love with the dango – I needed to get it again), we parted ways. As I headed back to my apartment deciding I'd had enough interaction for the day, Jiraiya dropped down in front of me from off a building. I jumped in surprise before settling myself.
"Jiraiya?" I asked questioningly.
"Kakashi is back." He said without any preamble. "He's in the hospital. Want to go visit him?"
I bit back a smile. "You're going to give him a heart attack." I accused him.
"Good thing he's in the hospital then, right?" He asked rhetorically.
I shook my head good naturedly. "Right."
He led the way to the hospital and I followed along, trying to hide the anxiety that urged me to shift in position and pick at my skirt and shirt. We got his room number from the front desk and when we got to the door, we paused.
"I should go in first." Jiraiya told me warningly. I nodded in agreement.
He went through the door and I could hear voices on the other side for a few minutes. Things went silent and then the door was opened partially. Jiraiya gave me a look that asked, ready?
I gave him a half smile and peeked around the door curiously. Kakashi seemed pretty out of it, but awake. I stepped into view and around Jiraiya when Kakashi caught my eyes.
I beamed at him a tad sheepishly and gave a small wave. "Hi, Kakashi."
His one eye went round and I could see his mouth drop through is mask. "Rin?" He asked in a mere gasp.
"That's me." I said unhelpfully. I approached him and he made a movement like he was going to jerk backwards but kept his position.
"How?" He asked in a breathy and disbelieving tone.
"You didn't tell him anything?" I asked Jiraiya and turned to him with a disappointed look. "Shame on you."
Jiraiya shrugged unapologetically as I shook my head at him.
I sighed before touching Kakashi's hand lightly. "It's a long story. Mind if I sit down?"
He nodded numbly in a jerky motion.
This isn't going to be fun, I thought, but it's necessary to get on with things. And I've been dying to see Kakashi.
I could hear Jiraiya give us privacy by leaving and I began my story in a soft tone and held his hand gently in mine.