"I told you if this went wrong, I was blaming you," said President Lex Luthor, smiling up at Superman from his desk in the Oval Office. "And now that it has gone wrong, I have every reason to keep my word. It was your fellow Justice League member that screwed it all up, after all."
"It didn't go wrong – it was a resounding success," replied Superman. "Crime in Gotham City plummeted…"
"Until your little Bat-friend took matters into his own hands," interrupted Luthor. "I daresay he missed playing with his little lunatic friends – that's certainly my theory anyway."
"Because a man like you can't understand the difference between right and wrong," retorted Batman, who had accompanied Superman this time. The latter had insisted that he explain himself to the president in person, and take responsibility for the mess he had made of things, which Batman was only too happy to do. Or as happy as Batman ever was, anyway. "What you did was wrong, and I had a duty to right that wrong," he continued. "Because that's what I do."
"I think the people of Gotham would disagree with your definitions of right and wrong," retorted Luthor. "And who appointed you ruler of that city anyway?"
"It's true, nobody voted for me, the way they did you," agreed Batman, nodding. "But nobody voted for this ridiculous living death for the supercriminals policy either. That was something you rammed through an executive order on the behest of super-powered, self-appointed rulers of the world. That's not how things should work in a democracy."
"I guarantee you, if I asked for a referendum on the subject, we would have the majority agreeing with the policy," retorted Luthor.
"The majority agreeing with something doesn't make it right either," retorted Batman. "This isn't the way we treat human beings, even incredibly messed up human beings. We don't experiment on them, and hope the psychological effects of being trapped in an alternate reality don't mess them up more than they already are. The only reason anyone respects the Justice League is that they know we'll do the right thing, no matter how difficult that is to do. But the Justice League didn't do the right thing in this case, and nor did you. And the only way anyone will ever trust them, or you, again is to admit you were wrong and end this ridiculous policy once and for all."
"Looks like you've already done that," retorted Luthor. "You said Tetch destroyed what he created?" he asked, turning to Superman.
"Yes, but we have his notes – we can reconstruct it," said Superman, nodding.
"And when word of Batman's actions leak out, how will you respond?" asked Luthor. "It won't do for the Justice League to appear at war with each other, or show a disunited front – dissension within the ranks does erode trust. And you can't very well coerce Batman into going along with anything he doesn't agree with, as you've seen."
"Yes, Batman has been even more obstinate than usual in this matter," said Superman. "And that's saying something. I also never thought he would fear gas his fellow Justice League members…"
"I didn't fear gas you – Scarecrow fear gassed you," interrupted Batman.
"Under your instruction," replied Superman.
"When have the supercriminals ever listened to me?" asked Batman. "What he did, he did of his own volition."
"But Luthor's right – we can't be at war with each other," agreed Superman. "We're only a Justice League if every member in it agrees on that definition. But it can't be right for us to just leave the situation in Gotham as it's always been. It's not right that innocent people have to suffer…"
"It's not right," agreed Batman. "But the alternative is worse. We could end all crime tomorrow if we wanted to, Superman. All we'd have to do is lock up the population of earth. If we deprived everyone of their freedom, there would be no opportunity for crime. If we took away all their possessions, there would be no temptation for robbery. If we monitored them constantly and swiftly punished anyone who stepped out of line for any reason, we would end crime overnight. But we don't do these things, because it would be inhumane. Even if it works, it's wrong. We can't make the world completely safe. Or we can, but the price we'd have to pay would be too great. Everything in life is a series of trade-offs, and more safety has to come with less freedom. And maybe that's a price you're willing to pay, but even if you were, it would be no guarantee of safety. Safety can't be guaranteed in life, and believe me, I'm as upset about that as anyone. But even if it could, it's not the kind of world anyone would want to live in, and it's not one anyone would be upset in leaving, as you saw in the simulation. Death was preferable to a world of absolute peace and order. I understand that, and I'm sorry that you can't. But then you're not human, after all."
"I've spent all of my life trying to understand humanity," murmured Superman. "But clearly I still don't."
"You don't have to understand us," retorted Batman. "But you have to accept us as we are, not as you want us to be."
"This is a fascinating philosophical discussion, but the reporters are waiting," said Luthor. "And since I've become president, my popularity with the public is very important to me. So I'm going to go out there and say the Justice League screwed this up, it's all your fault the policy didn't work and is being abandoned, and I had nothing to do with it from the very beginning."
"You can still uphold the policy, Lex," retorted Superman. "Just because the Justice League is conflicted doesn't mean you are."
"I'm not," agreed Luthor. "But it's bad publicity to be at odds with the Justice League. Publicly, anyway. And I won't continue with this policy unless I can blame someone when it goes wrong again, which it inevitably will if Batman's involved. I'm not just going to take a stand for the principle of the thing – what kind of sucker do you think I am? Principles don't win votes – popularity does. And I wouldn't be very popular if I went up against Batman, even if the rest of the Justice League denounced him. Anyway, I think you'll find I never supported this policy in the first place."
"Everyone has videos of you saying how great this plan was at multiple press conferences," retorted Batman. "And there's the video testimony of you in front of the Supreme Court calling Dr. Leland a horrible person for opposing the plan, which is all over the internet."
"Obviously I'll just say I wasn't aware of all the facts at the time – that's classic politician rhetoric when they're caught in a lie," retorted Luthor. "Of course there are others – the footage is doctored, fake news, Russian disinformation, etc. But I said Superman was taking the fall for this, and he is. Along with you, of course."
"That's fine by me," said Batman. "I'm prepared to accept the consequences of my actions, and he should be prepared to accept his."
"I am," said Superman. "And if we don't have presidential backing, we can't continue with the policy. I won't become a tyrant."
"Unlike our president, then," commented Batman.
"If I were a tyrant, the first thing I would do is ban the Justice League," retorted Luthor. "But I won't, because it's useful to have a fall guy. Well, let's begin the apology press conference," he added, grinning. "I love nothing better than a media circus in order to embarrass my enemies. Trial in the court of public opinion is so much quicker and simpler than in the actual courts, and frequently much more damaging."
"I don't suppose you want to say a few words to the press?" asked Superman, as he and Batman followed Luthor down the hall.
Batman just looked at him. "Of course not," sighed Superman. "Why change character now?"
The door to the press room opened, and multiple cameras started flashing, calling their names. "Mr. President, what's behind the sudden reversal of the confining supercriminals to the alternate reality policy?" asked Vicki Vale of Gotham City, raising her hand.
"The policy was the brainchild of the Justice League, and like so many of their policies, it has been deemed immoral," said Luthor. "We have no right to treat our fellow human beings like guinea pigs, and I'm putting a stop to it."
"But you were in full support for the policy from the beginning, weren't you?" asked Vicki, raising her hand again. "My source informs me you even called the Joker in order to gloat about what you had done to him, isn't that right?"
"I categorically deny that, Vicki," retorted Luthor. "Your source must be mistaken."
"My source is the Joker," replied Vicki.
"The notorious liar, the Joker," said Luthor. "He's hardly a trustworthy informant…"
"He sent me the recording from his phone," interrupted Vicki.
"A doctored recording – the man can do impressions…" began Luthor.
"I have the phone records from the Oval Office confirming the call to the Joker's number," interrupted Vicki. "At the time and date of the recording he sent me. Should I play it for the room?"
"No, because it's a fake – he could have doctored the phone records," said Luthor, who was clearly panicking. "He's capable of all kinds of chicanery, and he's done far worse than doctor phone records, you know the Joker..."
"Not very well, but clearly you do," continued Vicki. "You were speaking to him like a close personal friend, or at least someone you had known closely for a number of years. Is that true, Mr. President? Were you on close terms with the Joker, and did you do this to get back at him for some perceived slight?"
"No, I did this to help the people of Gotham!" exclaimed Luthor. "To save them from the chaos they're constantly threatened with by the numerous supercriminals…"
"But now you've decided they should just be allowed to suffer and die, is that it?" interrupted Vicki. "If the policy worked so well, why are you putting a stop to it?"
"Because it's morally wrong, and I never supported it," declared Luthor.
"But you did, Mr. President," said Vicki. "You've made several statements of your support for the policy, which I have here. I guess it's possible that you were maybe having a psychotic break when you said these things, perhaps some kind of schizophrenic episode, but I'm not aware of you having any mental health condition. So were you lying to the American people then, or are you lying now?"
"I'm not lying, and I'm not crazy!" shouted Luthor. "It's all their fault, the Justice League!" he shouted, throwing a finger at Superman and Batman. "It was their idea to start the policy, and to end it! Blame them for everything! They can't even agree amongst themselves what the right thing to do is, and then they presume to lecture the rest of us! They're a menace to this country, and they need to be stopped!"
"If that's true, Mr. President, why would you agree to implement their policy?" asked Vicki. "We didn't vote for a president to let other people make his decisions for him. Your poor judgement in going along with their plan and then flip-flopping and refusing to take the blame when it goes wrong reflects badly on this country, and makes the voters lose faith in your being able to make any rational judgements again. 'Vote for me – I'll do what other people tell me,' isn't a winning slogan, is it? Someone has to be held accountable to the voters for this, and it can't be the people who weren't voted for. So who will it be, Mr. President?"
"It's not my fault!" shouted Luthor. "I had nothing to do with it! The Justice League went behind my back and implemented this policy without my permission, and without my knowledge…"
He was interrupted by his own voice on a recording which Vicki suddenly played back at him: "I've just given Superman permission to go to Arkham and implant chips in the inmates' brains. Chips which will trap them in virtual reality forever. So I suppose I've called to say goodbye, Joker. And to let you know it was me who authorized it. I hope you think about that before you're lost in a world of fantasy forever…Please believe it's nothing personal, Joker. Although it kinda is. But it's mostly because if I could be the man who saved Gotham, that would ensure my legacy forever. And it would definitely secure my re-election."
"That's…not…," stammered Luthor at last, in the deafening silence that followed. "I didn't mean…I was just…"
He cleared his throat suddenly. "I'm happy to take any questions not pertaining to what you've just heard," he said, trying to put on a brave face. "Who's next?"
Everyone's hand shot up as all the reporters began talking at once. Batman headed for the door, but passed the podium where Luthor was standing, a rictus grin on his face.
"Good luck with the re-election campaign, Lex," murmured Batman, with a small, rare smile. "You're going to need it."