Arm deep in the mayo, Jimmy reached further until his fingertips hit the object in solid question. He gripped fiercely and withdrew from the thick, creamy capsule. He held it in front of his face now, the saddening scent of distraught angst emitted with the furor of rustic nuances embedded in the unnatural psyche.
"This is a mayo ball..." seethed the captor of the orb. He eyed its mayo-encrusted exterior with ambivalence and pride: a bizarre mixture of the emotions, indeed.
"What have you there, Brother?" asked a voice from beyond the corridor, his single eyeball was still adjusting to the dim lighting. He grasped the second firmly in his right hand.
Masterfully, Jimmy crushed the orb, responding poorly to the essence of an invasive cycloptic fiend. He then undid the knot in his tall, upright do. The gorgeous brown locks draped over his shoulders. Jimmy took out his sabre and charged his opposer.
The opposer captured the sabre betwixt his free hand's free fingers. "I'm alone, but I'm not alone..." he sneered at Jimmy. "You know that, right?"
"Carl, unhand your own eyeball, lest it never be reinserted into your cranial cavern!" shrieked Jimmy. He flipped the switch on the sabre's hilt. A second blade shot out from the first and lopped off Carl's brave extremities in the fraction of a second.
"I wanna get in on this too!" a spiky-haired newcomer howled, barreling down the hallway with a loaded pistol. He blasted plasma everywhere. The harmful substance landed in Carl's empty eye socket.
"Hockey is my favourite sport ever..." Carl thought ominously as the burns settled in. He turned agonisingly to the new guy. "Sheen, you are a blight on the earth..." Carl shed his jacket, baring his godtier pecs and abs. His toenails grew to the size of caterpillars. He flexed the toenails until they crossed over naturally. "Burning Attack!"
BOOM!
Sheen got shot in the abs and his own abs fell off.
"You deserved that, Estevez..." Jimmy glowered. He then commanded Goddard to lap up the ab juice.
Goddard barked and obeyed wholeheartedly.
Sheen looked down at the new nothingness upon his tarnished midsection. He took out a black permanent marker and drew on more abs. He now had an 18-pack.
"Dang buttz..." cursed Carl. "Only supplicant bulldozers can possess such packs that are the limit of soda cans.
"This is pop!" snarled Sheen. He then did the booty to the max. The maxed-out toxy thrust into the ozone and tore a mighty hole.
Meanwhile...
Rayquaza was observing both the ozone and his tea kettle. He broke out of his trance once he heard the noise of Sheen's fake-abbed butt.
"I just cannot wait to be king," announced Kyogre as he and Groudon entered Rayquaza's stoic palace in the sky.
Groudon was red and immediately noticed the frown on Rayquaza's face because of that gnarly fact. "Ray, why do you weep?"
Rayquaza took out a common dish-wipe from the bureau. He laid it on the table. The table broke. The tree-trunk legs of said table withered and bent like ancient skeletons.
Kyogre took out three straws he inserted each into the sawdust remains of the decaying furniture item. He gestured for his mates to arrive and peer at the scene of the crime. Each legendary creature placed an end to their lips. The suction began almost immediately.
"Dude, I am sad," said Rayquaza, his toes nonexistent because we all know why.
"Dude, tell us why this is an occurrence," said Groudon icily.
Just then, the ice from Groudon's statement became super-effective. It was like the type combo that we all feared back in uni.
Groudon died in Kyogre's fins that day and the universe was never the same after that.
"Look at that..." sighed Rayquaza. "The earth looks like a sea..."
Then the earth shifted right before the trio. The planet was now in the shape of a "C".
Back at the battle...
Jimmy and Carl were running through Crisis City on their really big shoes. The shoes were immaculately crafted by Amazon themselves.
These shoes were also configured wisely to be covered in piranhas.
With every kick, the lads of grace were getting death upon the evil ones plaguing Retroville. The piranhas in the soles would instantly emerge and chomp those vile enough to oppose righteousness.
Carl grabbed one of his foes and tore out their eyeball. He put the eyeball into his own socket and adjusted his vision with thoughts about glasses. This was first done on October 12th, 2004. Do not forget it.
"Carl, where is Sheen?" asked Jimmy, his boosted toast in the oven.
Carl bruised a turkey sandwich. "Yo, Jim. Let's kill a rabbit!" Carl took out his pulse rifle and blasted the warren just south of Cameroon.
"CARL! NOOOO!" But Jimmy was too late. Every single rabbit ever just died right then.
Meanwhile...
* Azumarill's POV *
I saw the gunshot and all of my brethren were swiftly falling. My fretting was off the charts by these blasts of energy. I had no other choice but to succumb to the madness. My spine erupted from my forehead and ran into a very busy 4-way intersection. That was exactly where Squidward lived too. Curse my spine!
Back at the battle...
Sheen was shooting guns at rabbits too, but since every rabbit was now deceased evermore, he was having trouble aiming. He instead accidentally aimed at a hedgehog. The hedgehog died and stopped making Sonic references.
"Vowels are just ugly..." Sheen mused. He then expelled them from the dictionary.
Jimmy screamed in powerful horror. "N! Shn jst dltd ll th vwls frm th dctnr!"
"Y is not a vowel..." spat Carl. He then flexed his new eyeball at Rayquaza's sky-house thing. An inspirational laser was born from it. But the laser was not deadly; it was lively.
The laser hit Groudon dead-centre and refilled his heart.
"He lives with vigor!" cried Kyogre with tears of glee.
Rayquaza nodded and patted the Godzilla thing on the nose.
"I am glad to be an alive specimen," said Groudon courageously. He then put ground back on the earth so it was no longer a "C".
Just then, Jimmy pulled up with the Ace of Spades. The ace went straight into Sheen's nose and tore it off for super-duper effective damage.
"That oughtta do it, Jimbo..." said Hugh from the hilltop. He then ate a pie as he watched Sheen die.
THE END